Hi! I am Higgy (she/her), Canadian, and my brain has not stopped thinking about this children's book series about angsty cats for about a decade. I am 18+ in age but, seeing as this blog is about a children's book series, I will not post anything 18+ in content. I might swear sometimes lol
I feel like a lot of people have their own rewrite ideas for the Warriors series by Erin Hunter, and I wanted a place to put mine because I have a lot of ideas and thoughts about this series! My brain will not stop obsessing over it, no matter how much I try to convince myself it is not worth it.
full disclosure: I think the canon series is a mess, and that only arc 1 had a compelling plot book-to-book, though many arcs afterwards have great moments, ideas, and characters. Every arc has potential, I think. Despite this, I am not a professional writer and some of what I think is canonically lacklustre could be the best part for other readers, and some of my ideas could be making it worse.
Right now, I am doing kind of a personal exercise of rewriting Dawn of the Clans since it was my favourite arc when I was 12 and I have since fallen out of love with it over and over... especially after recalling what actually happens in it. I call it an exercise because I don't want it to sound definitive, like this is everything the arc could have been, or that I am a much better writer than the current writing team. I want to be seen more as an amateur who wants to explore her own ideas, and hopefully some people think they're neat. idk why I'm spending so long justifying the idea of a Warriors rewrite themed blog
I don't want to put every plot point for my dotc rewrite exercise on this blog until I'm done, but I do want to rant and rave about character arcs to somebody without annoying my sibling about books they haven't read for nearly a decade.
I also love to draw! I will be drawing!! Prepare yourselves!!! I might post designs or something to accompany the posts. for funsies. this book series has cursed me to only be decent at drawing cats for years, so I gotta use that somewhere.
Fircone and Nettle! I thiiink they both joined Clear Sky's group together or around the same time. They're canon friends.
In canon, they tell Thunder that they don't like killing cats and weren't entirely sure what they were getting into when joining Clear Sky's group. Nettle and Fircone both feel this way and hope Thunder can change Clear Sky. To make them more loyal, Clear Sky makes them fight each other as practice.
During the First Battle, Tall Shadow kills Fircone and tells Thunder it's kill or be killed. As a ghost, cats tell Tall Shadow it wasn't actually needed, and Fircone reminds Gorse Fur that they hunted together as loners once.
Nettle exists as one of Clear Sky's cats afterward.
In my rewrite, these two are recruited for their cleverness and survival skills. Fircone joins first, teaches the group how to make good dens as his friend Nettle came up with, then Nettle is invited to join as well. During a visit early on, Jackdaw's Cry praises the ingenuity of their kitten-proofing tactics and camp design.
Fircone is gentle, he doesn't like fighting. Clear Sky sees him as soft, but his usefulness around camp and hunting makes him okay to keep around for now. He never wants to fight, and Thunder Storm learns this when living in the forest camp. During the First Battle, he is killed by Tall Shadow, who insists it was necessary but will forever carry the regret.
Nettle didn't initially want to join, but Clear Sky convinced him... probably by threatening to get violent if Nettle didn't leave the area forever or join him. He's kind of snarky and always talks about what the most optimal place to hunt would be, or how to best secure the dens from leaks. He's always interrupting because he knows better about this topic than everyone else!... until the First Battle. Now he's asking questions, he's swamped in confusion. Clear Sky's starting to make weird choices like hanging out with some random loner named Star... he's a lot less ready to interrupt others and correct them once Fircone dies.
Nettle is one of many cats in Clear Sky's camp who fears him rather than respects him, which will motivate Clear Sky to step down from his position as leader. Once the new guy takes over instead and then a whole ton of plot happens and cats are nominating Clear Sky to lead them again, Nettle goes against them, saying how once Clear Sky stopped being violent he became weak and everything was confusing. Clear Sky has to convince the group that he's worthy of their respect, rather than their fear or pity.
Both of these cats get to support the theme of why Clear Sky's method of leading ultimately does not work. It gets cats to fear a leader, instilling a lack of cohesion within the group that allows it to be taken over by One Eye (but I'm renaming One Eye to Hawk). Clear Sky's lack of stability due to his grief has always been detrimental to the group, and both Fircone and Nettle get to show that.
sometimes I think about how Dawn of the Clans has a whole climax about how the fighting must stop, and there must be no more battles. only for the solution to be making a system that encourages rivalry and battling each other. These same leaders start fighting each other so fast after DotC ends--Riverstar's Home, Moth Flight's Vision, and Shadowstar's Life all feature battles against each other. Within the Forest Territories, the Clans are characterized by competition and rivalry. This leads to many battles with many deaths, the exile of SkyClan, exiling a mother and her kits for a half-Clan relationship, the Sunningrocks rivalry killing many cats over several generations, the exile of WindClan, and it's all so normal.
It's like a big tragedy that takes forever to improve, only after the Great Journey, the battle against the Dark Forest, and a natural disaster will a Code come into play that encourages the Clans working to protect each other. Only then will SkyClan return. I think about how the Clans at the Lake Territories gradually lose the motivation for battling neighbouring Clans, with them narratively appearing more and more unjustifiable. The Eclipse battle, the Fading Echoes battle, the Dark Forest trainees being convinced they were helping their Clan by becoming ruthless battlers...
Willow and Frog are the sibling kits of Tansy. They're rescued by Wind and Gorse from a burning tree, and then are seen as part of Slash's group without their mother (who had an infection in her paw).
When Red runs to the camp for help with pursuing dogs, the dogs wreak havoc and kill Willow's friend Beech, and seriously injure Frog. While the main characters try to save Frog, he dies of his injuries.
Willow joins WindClan and renames herself Willow Tail. In Moth Flight's Vision, she has a grudge against Red Claw for the death of Beech. She stages SkyClan stealing prey to start a battle between WindClan and SkyClan. The arguing leads to the death of Micah when he tries to mediate, and then there's a big battle. Clear Sky blinds Willow Tail after her monologue on why she did what she did, and she later dies from her injuries after forgiving Red Claw. She gives Windstar a life for forgiveness.
Ok I feel like Willow Tail's story has a ton of potential. She knew Windstar and Gorse Fur when she was a kitten, and she joins her group. There could be so much more to her.
rewrite time
ok I'm still working on some of the intricacies of the second half of the arc and then the novellas (6--Moth Flight + one for each leader), but I'm thinking Willow Tail could be a pretty neat character. The start of her story starts pretty much the same. Then Tansy moves to a group for support, finding the Rogues (Slash's group). In the second book, they run into Thunder Storm and Leaf of Clear Sky's group while trespassing and hunting. Leaf fights them while Thunder Storm wants to let them off with a warning, but battle ensues. Willow Tail likes to fight for what she wants, while Frog will give it up to avoid a fight. Tansy is really sick, so Willow Tail insists she needs it, but Frog says Tansy wouldn't want them to give into fighting for her sake. Willow gets a line about "do you think I'm not used to fighting for my food?" living with the Rogues kinda sucks unless you're Hawk's kid or Slash's bestie
Tansy manages to escape the Rogues and join Clear Sky's group, thinking she can get his help to bring her kits. The First Battle happens and she perishes in the fight. She is one of the ghosts the living can see, and she panics that her kits need her help as she runs away.
In book 5, Tall Shadow is going to join the Rogues as a spy for information before jumping into a battle. She makes friends with the oppressed cats, who plan a revolt. Some of these cats include Frog, Willow, and Beech. Red reeeaaally wants to help but nobody thinks he'll be useful. After the Rogues are attacked by the dogs, Willow grieves Beech and her brother, as well as learns that her mother died as well. She joins Wind Runner's group and is super angsty with a huge grudge and notion of revenge.
I want her to be motivated by the loss of her whole family and Beech. Her brother died horribly from the dogs as well, but Frog isn't ever mentioned in Moth Flight's Vision, not even as motivation for Willow Tail.
I'm doing a thing where each Clan kinda has its own theme, and WindClan's is freedom. I think at some point I'll have Wind Runner say something to Willow Tail about freeing herself from the burden of revenge, that forgiveness is also for the cat giving it, not just receiving. Willow Tail's battle against SkyClan (which represents redemption, second chances, that whole thing) is her going against the idea. Making amends with Red Claw is accepting the idea.
I don't think I'll kill her off. I like her. I want to keep numbers for the endpoint of these Clans, and I'm already keeping Jagged Peak's family in ShadowClan... so... uh... I might keep her alive as a side character with a whole arc instead of killing her off.
If I did kill her off, I'd want Wind Runner to do it, not Clear Sky. I know I'm going to have Clear Sky do a whole redemption thing, and SkyClan killing Willow Tail being the killing of anti-redemption could be a whole thing, but I just think it'd be more dramatic if Wind Runner did it. She has more personal stakes. Idk, I don't think I'm killing her off at all, but if I did it'd be this way
Tansy! ok I was going to do Tansy, Willow, and Frog all in one post but it turns out I have a lot more to say about Willow than the others, and Tansy's path diverges a bit in my rewrite
In canon, Tansy is the mother of the two kits Wind and Gorse rescue from a burning tree. Tansy has an infected paw, so she was unable to hunt while her kits were too small to, so Wind gets to help her and be a loner who has a heart kind enough to help others.
I don't think she ever appears again, but both her kits end up joining Slash's group.
so in my rewrite, Tansy's story pretty much starts the same way. Wind and Gorse get to save her kits and Wind, who has now abandoned her childhood nest, offers it to Tansy and her kits. The image of Tansy being too injured to feed her young kits inspires a conversation between Wind and Gorse about living with others, something Wind is still hesitant about and refuses.
However, the idea of living in a group appeals to Tansy. She finds Slash's group (the Rogues) and believes they will help her feed her kits. Unfortunately, this group is bad and while Slash is in power, his friends are even harsher on cats ranked lower with the encouragement that their cruelty will appear as strength to Slash. Tansy needs to find a way to get her kits to safety, so they make a plan.
Tansy ends up escaping the group, but for some reason her kits couldn't come with. Maybe she was hunting alone when she meets one of Clear Sky's cats on patrol. Tansy realizes there are other groups, and they might be better for her kits. This time, however, Tansy will check before bringing her kits into possible danger. She joins after Clear Sky promises to help her bring her kits into the group. Clear Sky, however, just wants numbers to intimidate the moor group at the full moon meeting.
Tansy ends up dying in the battle after Wind Runner and Gorse Fur recognize her. When the dead show up as spirits, Tansy panics and runs, hoping somehow she can get to her kits.
I made her pretty miserable, but she shows why some cats would need a group and what happens when the group options just suck. There's also a spotlight shed onto this sad little family in DotC that I think have a potentially neat story. Plus, as with other minor characters, I get to make them relevant to themes in a main character's story. Here, living in a group yet having freedom is huge for Wind Runner and WindClan.
three Riverstar's Home characters for the price of one! they only get cleaned up sketches because. uhh. im lazy
in canon, Whistle and Woodlouse exist and join River Ripple's group for like a chapter or few before it's mentioned that they left. Croak is a cat who joined and then stayed, and now she definitely exists for sure
I do a lot with these guys in my rewrite. they're a trio of besties!
Whistle, Woodlouse, and Croak are three cats who live by a twoleg camp near the river. They meet Ripple's group and hear that Ripple's looking for a way home, so Whistle leads them to the beech copse near the gorge to show them a cool hunting spot and a way for Ripple to go. Whistle slips and falls down the gorge and dies, leaving Ripple with an example of the river's danger and the river's desire for him to stay.
Whistle was a loud guy, did all the talking for the three of them. He talks very casually and very confidently, and he could easily come across as annoying. Woodlouse hardly talks and Croak is quite shy, and they're good with Whistle doing the talking for them.
Whistle dying completely changes everything for Woodlouse and Croak. Neither of them want to remain in the same place, where they'd always be reminded their bestie is dead. Croak leaves to join Ripple's group to have some support, but Woodlouse wants to get as far away as possible. He crosses the river to reach the forest and is offered a spot in Clear Sky's group. He accepts. Then Woodlouse is killed in the First Battle and is scolded by the spirit of Whistle for "wanting to run as far away from him as possible"
I wanted Clear Sky to have more recruits to make the battle more even, especially since I make Dew move to the Cats of the River in book 2.
Croak is shy in Ripple's group and takes a while to open up. She's hesitant to welcome new cats into the group because the more cats there are, the more there is to lose and grieve. This parallels Night and Ripple gets to recommend that they become friends. Ripple (later River Ripple) teaches her about meditating and it legitimately helps her cope with her grief. She ends up happy.
funky lil filler cats that get to emphasize themes of belonging and support and grief. woohoo!
So Dew in canon joined Clear Sky's group with Thorn. She is a good fighter who Clear Sky kicked out for being too soft. So she joined River Ripple's group.
ok you know the drill, it's rewrite time. She gets to emphasize a theme!!
I don't really have Dew and Thorn being very close here. Maybe I'll change that someday, but for now Dew's story is about something else so her and Thorn joining the group together doesn't matter much.
Dew can fight. She's noted as being one of the strongest battlers in the forest by Petal and Clear Sky. She is one of the cats who attacks Jackdaw's Cry and Shattered Ice for trespassing.
There is a part in Book 2: Smoke on the Horizon when River Ripple wants to speak with Clear Sky, so he waits for a patrol at the scent line. Thorn and Dew find him, and Thorn goes to fetch Clear Sky while Dew watches to make sure River Ripple doesn't try to hunt while waiting.
While waiting, River Ripple attempts casual small talk, and Dew brings up that Clear Sky blames him for killing Fox, even though River Ripple has a reputation of being gentle to a fault (Fox drowned after falling in the river when River Ripple dodged an attack instructed by Clear Sky). She notes this discrepancy. She clearly distrusts Clear Sky, but wants to live in a group and wouldn't want to live on the moor, where tensions might mean she'd have to fight her former friends. River Ripple offers his group and insists he doesn't fight.
Dew challenges him by asking if not fighting is really that honourable. River Ripple says there is always a peaceful option, and Dew calls him naive, so she'll stick with Clear Sky.
Throughout this book, River Ripple is bothered by being seen as naive for being peaceful. But Dew is also bothered that her fierce fighting skills are being utilized by a cat she does not trust. After the events of book 2, when Frost is exiled and Thunder Storm goes with, Dew also decides to leave. She's going to join River Ripple's group so that, while she knows she's able to fight, she doesn't have to.
In Book 3: The First Battle, during an uncertain leadership on the moor, one of the three co-leaders authorizes an Intimidation Patrol. After Clear Sky's begun claiming land on the other side of the river to prevent the Cats of the River from hunting nearby, some cats on the moor want to show their support for the Cats of the River. Tall Shadow says no, she doesn't want to provoke Clear Sky, but Rainswept Flower tells Wind Runner to lead this Intimidation Patrol anyway.
On the Intimidation Patrol is Jackdaw's Cry, and he is shocked to see Dew (who once attacked him while in Clear Sky's group) as one of the cats he is to help. Jackdaw's Cry challenges her, and Dew says sorry, even if it's too late. She goes on to insist that she chose to leave the forest once she realized she had options, and she hasn't forgotten how to fight. Meanwhile, Falling Feather is one of the cats Jackdaw's Cry would go against.
In book 4, Dew finds a stranger in the area and reacts in a way River Ripple doesn't appreciate--treating the stranger as an intruder, insisting he couldn't pass. The stranger jumps to fight her, and she skillfully shuts him down. River Ripple is disappointed that she got in a fight, but then he hears the story and offers to get their wounds treated. He thought she was starting pointless fights, but he supposed if it was in defense, he wouldn't get too mad about it. Dew gets to be the best fighter of the river, helping to convince River Ripple that some things are worth fighting for, and peace isn't always an option, but it's a nice option to have.
"Ripple watched Thunder Storm carefully and, in that moment, he appeared just like his father."
Thunder Storm and Clear Sky make similar angry faces.
In my rewrite exercise, the fire is more a moment showing how desperate Thunder Storm is to prove himself. While Ripple (he's gonna change his name later on but not yet) commends his bravery, Thunder Storm also scares him a little. Thunder Storm is thinking about how he'll look to Clear Sky, hoping that jumping through flames will be enough to earn his father's love.
I love Acorn Fur!! I love her I love her and I ALWAYS wanted her to do stuff in the books.
In canon, she doesn't really do a lot imo?? She's the littermate of Lightning Tail and Thunder, and while they care about her and like her, Thunder and Lightning Tail are a lot closer and more iconic as besties.
After the first battle, Acorn Fur loses both her parents and decides to live with Clear Sky's group... because the moor would feel different without her parents. She just joins the group of the aggressor whose battle got both her parents killed?? Joining the group led by the guy who starved her father for like two days??? She has a heartfelt goodbye with Lightning Tail and Thunder.
Apparently, Acorn Fur has nothing to say about Tom living in the forest group. When One Eye really hurts Sparrow Fur, Acorn Fur helps treat her with cobwebs. Tom is killed and Acorn Fur argues that Tom was just trying to help his kit... does Acorn Fur remember anything about Turtle Tail? She was around six moons old when Turtle Tail died, so she wasn't too young to understand what Tom did...
She was mentored by Micah and then Moth Flight about becoming a medicine cat. Moth Flight had a jealousy thing about how much Micah hung out with her but then grows to like Acorn Fur quite a bit. Then Moth Flight creates the rule that medcats can't have kits, and Acorn Fur was just talking about dating Red Claw, but she promises to stop.
ok rewrite time. I have some fun with this one
I always wanted Acorn Fur to have a bigger presence in the arc, so here we go!
In my rewrite, the different Clans have a particular theme associated with them. SkyClan is redemption, second chances, the ability to change. I always liked the idea that Skystar's group is the one with Star Flower and Red Claw in it, like Skystar is passionate about giving second chances because it's what he needed. Anyways, I wanted to work that into Acorn Fur's story--not that she has to be redeemed, but that she has a very thematically important perspective on redemption.
Acorn Fur is part of a bestie trio with Thunder Storm and Lightning Tail. She is well known in the camp for having a very sharp memory. This memory means she can go get the right thing (like herbs or a particular kind of stick or something) when older cats need. She has loving parents in Jackdaw's Cry and Hawk Swoop. She's kind of a little schemer, helping make plans to help Lightning Tail and Thunder Storm get the best misadventures!
When Thunder Storm moves to the forest, Lightning Tail and Acorn Fur go with him. Tall Shadow wants this so that at least someone will be able to talk about all they see going on in Clear Sky's group. They're basically like spies without knowing it. But Acorn Fur and Lightning Tail love the forest with Thunder Storm, and they get along well with Falling Feather. Acorn Fur and Lightning Tail also want to support Thunder Storm as friends because they know (from what their parents say) that Clear Sky gave up on Thunder Storm, and any dream Thunder Storm has of earning his father's love is doomed. They want to be there for him when he comes to the realization that Clear Sky is not a good cat.
Acorn Fur is very observant, learns a lot from Cloud Spots in the forest, and keeps an eye on everything terrible Clear Sky does. When Thunder Storm leaves the forest to support Frost, he is joined by his friends. They go back to the moor, and while Thunder Storm doesn't like talking about how terrible his father is, Acorn Fur and Lightning Tail are willing to tell everything.
Acorn Fur is also on the trip to find Turtle Tail and the kits, discovering Turtle Tail's body.
After the First Battle, Acorn Fur grieves both her parents. She fetches herbs to help treat injuries, and then decides to join Clear Sky's group to keep an eye on him. She is going to make sure Clear Sky does not start a battle like this again.
Throughout Book 4: The Blazing Star, Acorn Fur watching Clear Sky is a stand-in for the Moor Cats' opinion of him, from his pov. Acorn Fur keeps an eye out for everything he does wrong. She witnesses Clear Sky do one more round of battle training with unsheathed claws, as well as recruit Rogues who had previously attacked Wind Runner, Gorse Fur, and River Ripple. He threatens to hurt Quick Water for demeaning him in front of the new recruits. He weaponizes Acorn Fur's grief to test her loyalty to the group. He even lets Tom into the group, who they know caused Turtle Tail's death! Clear Sky is still selfish, still reckless, still awful...
But at the same time, she sees Clear Sky refuse to exile Leaf for being injured, unlike when he exiled Frost only a short while ago, and Jagged Peak long before that. In fact, Clear Sky defends Leaf from the recruit Snake, kicking out Snake for attacking Leaf. Acorn Fur sees Clear Sky recruit cats he would have once deemed 'unreliable,' and he insists on helping figure out the spirit-cats' message. She sees that the tough battle practice was different to Clear Sky this time--this time had been the last time. She sees Clear Sky recognize that he leads by fear and step down from leadership. Acorn Fur sees that Clear Sky had changed.
It would be easier if he wasn't. It would be easier if Clear Sky was still evil, still the enemy that started the battle that killed both her parents. It would be easier to hate him, but instead she's grown to respect that Clear Sky is genuinely making an effort to change. She hates it. She wants him to be worse, because why couldn't he change before both her parents had been killed? Why couldn't he change before he hurt Thunder Storm? But she has come to truly respect him and comes to terms with the idea that cats can learn and change. To everyone's surprise, when Hawk (renamed One Eye) is killed, Acorn Fur supports Clear Sky's return to leadership, as he got help from the moor cats to rescue his former group from the tyrant.
Later, Red does his thing and joins Clear Sky's group. Acorn Fur is the one to test him here instead of Snake, and Clear Sky knows she can make a good argument against him. When Red points out that cats make bad choices and mistakes and then can change, as he hasn't seen anything horrific from Clear Sky since he joined, Acorn Fur agrees. These two will later date teehee
And because I'm self indulgent, these two are going to be the first forbidden medcat couple!! Acorn Fur will secretly date Red Claw. Maybe they will have a kit named Russet Fox who they tell everyone is a random abandoned kit they found, but nobody believes them. But it's too early on for them to really care about Moth Flight's rule. Maybe Russet Fox and Honey Pelt grow up together but Honey Pelt resents that this medcat gets to have her family, when he had to be given away. Maybe maybe maybe. hmm who knows?
=-=
also also Jackdaw's Cry was big about being able to freely criticize his leader. Acorn Fur gets to also do that in Clear Sky's group, but at first feels repressed like Falling Feather did in order to keep the peace.
He and his sister Petal were alone as kittens after a badger kills their mom, and cats just would not help them. Then Clear Sky lets the two join his group and they are both angry fighters. I'm rereading his page on the wiki and apparently there's a hint that he and Falling Feather liked each other??? and then Gray Wing kills him in self defense. This makes Petal have a particular grudge against Gray Wing, and Clear Sky (who was just watching them fight??) gets mad at Gray Wing. this is all in the first book
In my rewrite, since I have povs from more characters, I wanted to spread them out a bit and utilize them for different protagonists' arcs. Fox is the same angry cat who is Petal's brother. Clear Sky sends Fox to attack Ripple, as Clear Sky wants to scare away outsiders from hunting nearby. Ripple refuses to fight and dodges, so Fox falls into the water. Clear Sky is horrified because Fox cannot swim, so Ripple goes to save Fox but the young guy ends up drowning.
This is to give Clear Sky a grudge against the Cats of the River, as well as show off how fierce the river is. I want Ripple to adore and fear the river both at once, seeing how the river rescues him but punishes others, and Fox is the primary example of that. I also want River Ripple to slowly build up a loathing for Clear Sky, a new feeling for him that challenges who he thought he was.
Fox' ghost will be one of the two that appear to River Ripple to lead him to the Great Battle.
Petal will have a moment later on with Clear Sky about how Fox' death encouraged her to think before she jumps into a fight.
when I was 12 I was so fascinated by this terrible cat that I tried to convince others he was the best written character in the series. i wish
I know the argument that if Clear Sky is gray-and-white then it's not a clear sky, and... yeah... I see it... but I like the sharpness of the gray-and-white and the face pattern and Thunder gets white paws. what if he was light gray and very very light gray?
Clear Sky is a conundrum. I love the idea of a protagonist who was the main antagonist for the first half of the series. I like the concept of an antagonist in the first half that focuses on redeeming himself as a protagonist in the second is super interesting, especially for someone so important as a Clan founder. I love the idea of a villain who tries so hard to make starvation impossible that he over corrects and causes death on a massive scale. I love the idea of a character so driven by unaddressed grief and guilt that he wants to make himself a strong and decisive leader to counter it, yet it only drives those feelings further. I love the idea of a character who realizes when it’s too late that he’s cut himself off from everyone he cared about, someone who works so hard to make up for something he knows he cannot make up for.
that's not who this character is, unfortunately, no matter who much the Erins want you to think it
And the Erins want you to think it
Rather than making an effort to change his ideology of "only the strong deserve protection in my group," Clear Sky tends to be 'developed' by terrible things happening to female characters around him. The writing makes it seem like he is paying for his crimes because look how sad he is!! Poor Clear Sky, his group was taken over by a tyrant! Poor Clear Sky, his third wife was kidnapped! Poor Clear Sky, he killed several people and now nobody agrees with his plan to go live together in the forest! Poor Clear Sky, he was disowned by his Mom for two entire minutes! Poor Clear Sky, he feels bad about his second dead wife (but not the first, that was soooo book 1) and his dead sister and his shortcomings as a person!! Do you feel bad for him yet? Now he’s hearing one of his cats talk about the factual things he’s done to test the new guy, and Clear Sky feels bad!
I don't think there is ever any actual philosophical change in Clear Sky. The writers seem to think his only fault was starting the First Battle, which "needed to happen," when Clear Sky has literally murdered people for the land they lived on or chased them out, murdered an old friend for calling him greedy, exiled cats for being disabled, rejected his helpless newborn son, suggested murdering kittens because he wasn't going to take care of them himself and it's quicker than letting them starve... oh and this guy who is all about how terrible starvation is starved one of his old friends from the mountains for multiple days. He also had something to do with Bumble's death and I've seen a very convincing argument that there was no fox involved at all. He is controlling and manipulative and cruel and the writing wants you to think he's fine because he tries to talk to Jagged Peak and Thunder in a friendly way, and also look how sad he is, and he saves a baby at the very end, and hey he's not as bad as Caricature of a Dictator 2 and 3. But despite being a protagonist, I can't recall a moment where his ideology actually shifts
ok that was long. time for funky rewrite crap
My fun radical idea is that Clear Sky is going to do fewer of the terrible things in the first half (he still does most of them), and work for redemption. The moment he wants to change is not the moment everyone forgives him, and multiple cats never do.
Clear Sky is so scared of starvation that he's willing to kill to stop it. His group is full of strong and reliable cats, and unreliable cats don't belong, and his reasoning is that it's impossible for anyone to starve if everyone can hunt. He wants to minimize competition, so he expands his territory rapidly and even tries to stop River Ripple's group from fishing nearby, or he moves onto part of the moor. He does not intend to hunt there, he just does not want other hunters scaring off the prey.
Clear Sky has never processed grief healthily a day in his life. He hates the mountains. The mountains are where cats live to die. As far as he knows, everyone they left behind died because most of the strong hunters left. Strong cats survive, that's how it worked in the mountains, so that's how it will work here. Can you imagine if he wasn't in a position of power and these silly kitty cats had therapy
Something that Gray Wing thinks multiple times in book 1 is that Clear Sky's plans always work as long as everyone else follows them, but after antagonizing everyone outside of his group and weaker members of his own group, cats are not just going to follow whatever he plans. He starts the First Battle, expecting the small group of moor cats to retreat when he reveals his fighting force, but instead they fight back. He blames them for the deaths, since nobody would have died if they just let him win. Then Gray Wing plays to his guilt to stop him--the "tell the stars you won" quote--and Clear Sky ends the battle. Gray Wing, someone who constantly made excuses for Clear Sky, someone who always followed Clear Sky's plans in the mountains, someone who never gave up on him, gives up on him. Gray Wing hates Clear Sky now. This tells Clear Sky that something is very wrong with him, because Gray Wing would never do that.
Throughout the next few moons, he meets with mysterious loner Star sometimes and thinks they're having a cute romance, but in reality she's afraid of him. Then it hits him--everyone in his group is afraid of him. He's built this whole group around him, but none of them would consider him a friend. This is what makes him want to change, learning throughout the book that his philosophy would have allowed the cats he swore he was fighting for to have died. In the end he figures he will never be truly close to a cat if they fear him and he steps down (and then One Eye, who I have renamed to Hawk, comes in and takes over and kicks him out lol). Once Clear Sky learns of his replacement, he realizes that Hawk reminds him of himself and that horrifies him. He wants to fight to save his group from a tyrant because he's come to care about the cats he once led.
then he's gonna be leader again and SkyClan will have a running theme of redemption and stuff. I want him to save a baby from Slash because I like how you can easily see that difference in canon, but it'll probably be Jagged Peak's kit since I don't think I'm giving Gray Wing biokits. I think I'm still going to have him and Star get together in the end?? Star sees how much he's changed and truly believes in him.
Falling Featherrrr. It's like the minecraft enchantment Feather Falling. but backwards
I don't remember much about canon Falling Feather
alright so she's brave in The Sun Trail, saving Quick Water from drowning. She is also kind to Petal and Fox and explain how tiny Fluttering Bird's death was from hunger, and the mountain cats always shared. She suggests that they can be recruited into a group.
She is the one to escort Thunder and Frost to the moor when they decide to leave. She says she wishes she could come with, but she already made her choice. This comment makes Clear Sky question her loyalty and she yells at him. Clear Sky scratches her muzzle holy moly. Later Clear Sky has her practice fighting Snake, who digs his claws in her neck. I feel like every time I look at a wiki page for what characters are like in canon, I learn another level of Clear Sky's depravity that I just completely forgot
In the First Battle, she and Thunder fight, and Jackdaw's Cry saves him and the two siblings kill each other but forgive each other once they wake as spirits.
She's like a typical honourable cat. A beacon of wisdom and the remaining honour of mountain cats in the mess of violence that is Clear Sky's group, though she learns fighting too.
ok for rewrite, I don't delve too deep but I add a lil bit
Falling Feather likes learning and hunting and climbing trees! She dreams of taking down an eagle one day. She's a happy energetic youthful cat who chooses to live in the forest with Clear Sky. She visits the moor cats occasionally at first, but the visits peter out as time goes on.
When Thunder Storm, Acorn Fur, and Lightning Tail sneak into the forest as kits to follow some cats visiting, Falling Feather finds them and escorts them back to the moor, keeping the encounter a secret.
Then the three young cats go to live in the forest for a month, and Falling Feather takes initiative to look after her brother's kits. She feeds them without going through Clear Sky's eating schedule first. She's defensive of the other former mountain cats when forest cats mock them. She gets angry at Quick Water for telling Thunder Storm that his biodad sucks. When Thunder Storm reacts to Quick Water violently, Falling Feather tells him not to make violence a habit. This sticks for Thunder Storm.
Like in canon, she escorts them back to the moor and says similar stuff about having already made her choice. As I don't have a pov in the forest for book 3, I don't have her argument with Clear Sky. She's kinda completely different in this aspect, that she puts up with his dramatic means because part of her still looks up to him. She was young when she went on the Sun Trail, so it was instilled in her that Clear Sky is a heroic cat who keeps them safe. She's made her choice to believe in Clear Sky and refuses to go back on it, even if it means restrictions she doesn't personally believe in.
Her lofty dreams of hunting eagles and learning new things is diminished for Clear Sky's grand dream of survival, and Falling Feather is fine with it because, even though he's been wrong so many times since, he was once the cat whose plans always worked as long as others listened. She's not going to be the one to mess up his plans.
She's kinda meant to be an example of Clear Sky's harsh leading style, though not to the point it's shown in canon. When Jackdaw's Cry sneaks into the forest to bring her to the moor, she refuses because she's fine. She likes the forest. She likes her campmates. She is not going to leave her campmates with one less hunter, no matter how she misses the moor cats, no matter how she misses the rest of her kin. She is not going to be the one to abandon her campmates. And Jackdaw's Cry staying in a more exposed camp, a territory Clear Sky says is dangerous, she accuses him of not prioritizing the safety of his kits, an accusation that bothers Jackdaw's Cry for the rest of his life.
During the First Battle, Falling Feather faces Jackdaw's Cry and they fight. Things go wrong. They both die. Idk I haven't written the battle scene yet, but I don't think she will attack Jackdaw's Cry's foster son. I think they'll just fight each other because of their opposing viewpoints.
Jackdaw's Cry was critical of Tall Shadow and spoke against her decisions he disagreed with. He felt free to do so. He died defending her leadership after coming to appreciate all she does.
Falling Feather disagreed with many of Clear Sky's decisions but felt too restricted to voice it. Instead, she convinced herself he was right. She died for Clear Sky's leadership, a cause she did not truly believe in but thought she had to fight for.
They're like opposites. two ends of a spectrum. black and white. like their pelts
Jackdaw's Cry!!! I love his name and always have. I gave one of my OCs the prefix Jackdaw- before realizing they don't live in North America, where the OCs live. whoops
In canon, Jackdaw's Cry is a young cat on the Sun Trail. He is friends with Shattered Ice, working with him to invent tunnelling. He is one of the cats to disagree with Tall Shadow's method of leading and nominates Gray Wing for the job, saying they shouldn't live like mountain cats when they aren't mountain cats anymore. He has kits with Hawk Swoop.
Later on in the first half of the arc, Jackdaw's cry is taken hostage by Clear Sky? Clear Sky says he can't hunt on their territory but also he's not gonna feed him, so he's starving him for two days?? How did I completely forget about this plot point. Clear Sky says it takes moons for cats to starve but... no... it doesn't??? Just a Google search says it takes a couple of weeks but can happen sooner if the liver fails. Just not eating for 24 hours can cause health problems for cats. Clear Sky is supposed to be the 'driven to extreme measures out of his desperate fear of starvation' guy. why does he try to starve a cat. then he gets so mad at Jackdaw's Cry for hunting on neutral territory that he kills Rainswept Flower in an argument???
then he and Falling Feather kill each other in the battle. Here's the thing,, I love the idea of this. The battle brought two littermates to kill each other. They're like a mini Gray Wing and Clear Sky... but without the difference in ideology. I want there to be something more thematic when these two kill each other. I want the deaths of these cats to mean more than just another tragedy, just a higher kill count.
speaking of, rewrite time. this is gonna be a long one because I may or may not put too much thought into crap like character motivations and themes
Jackdaw's Cry loves hunting and trying new things. He and Shattered Ice are close friends, as Shattered Ice was a bit of a mentor figure to him. He tries new methods for hunting and wants his kits to be able to hunt whatever they want, trying new things and sticking to what makes them most happy.
He loves his kids. He adores how tiny the lil babies are. He gifts Acorn Fur an acorn from near Fourtrees to compare not just the fur colour, but also the size of her as a tiny newborn to the acorn. He and Hawk Swoop adopt Thunder Storm and treat him as one of their own. He is an active father and teaches his kits right away how to be safe around the camp. He is excited to take them hunting, super proud when they catch their first prey.
Jackdaw's Cry loves hunting and coming up with new ways to hunt, but he would probably say his greatest achievement is raising three great cats. He and Hawk Swoop both have big hopes for their kits to be able to grow up to do what they want--whether its explore new places, or hunt new prey. They plan another litter right before both of them die.
As for more thematic/story stuff, Jackdaw's Cry is critical of Tall Shadow's leadership but believes it better than Clear Sky's because she's not violent and power-hungry. Jackdaw's Cry and Shattered Ice are attacked by some of Clear Sky's recruits once and he's never been able to overlook that.
Jackdaw's Cry is part of what I'm dubbing the Intimidation Patrol, which is an event I made up for this rewrite. A group of cats authorized by Rainswept Flower (against the will of the other two co-leaders) is to stand beside River Ripple's group to stop Clear Sky's advances there. This would be from showing that their alliance would make them outnumber Clear Sky, so Clear Sky would stop encroaching the river (he's doing this to prevent cats from fishing/hunting nearby, some made up thing about scaring forest prey).
In this Intimidation Patrol from River Ripple's group is Dew, one of Clear Sky's former recruits that once injured Jackdaw's Cry. She apologizes, and Jackdaw's Cry is uncomfortable that she's there. Later, someone points out a scout from the forest, Falling Feather, saying they spotted an enemy. Jackdaw's Cry hearing his sister be called an enemy, as well as working beside Dew makes him reevaluate what exactly confronting Clear Sky's group would mean. It's not just a battle against Clear Sky and his nameless recruits, it's a battle against cats he thought were his friends.
Jackdaw's Cry later asks Frost why Falling Feather didn't come back to the moor with him and Thunder Storm. Frost says Falling Feather said she wanted to but had already made her choice. So, Jackdaw's Cry and Frost sneak into the forest to find Falling Feather and ask her to come to the moor. Falling Feather refuses, saying no matter how angry Clear Sky gets, his methods really do keep the group safe, a value she thought Jackdaw's Cry would care more about. But Jackdaw's Cry cares more that Clear Sky has killed people. He also notices that Falling Feather has a torn ear and wonders if she's killed people. He doesn't recognize this cat anymore. The dispute between the moor and forest cats has split these littermates apart.
Later when Clear Sky stops targeting the river for scent markers and instead decides to move them farther into the moor, Jackdaw's Cry accidentally crosses the boundary and gets terribly wounded by two forest cat recruits. This is how he gets the long scar on his side. He is rescued by Tall Shadow, which makes him respect her more, because he's always been critical of her leadership but she chose to help him, risking getting hurt herself.
For the First Battle, he faces Falling Feather and the two kill each other, siblings distanced by both physical distance and differing perspectives. Jackdaw's Cry wants his kits to be able to expand their world by trying new things, while Falling Feather following Clear Sky shows she would rather secure the safety of the group than allow individual freedoms--including her own, believing that she is stuck with the choice she made when Clear Sky first split the group.
Jackdaw's Cry was critical of Tall Shadow and spoke against her decisions he disagreed with. He felt free to do so. He died defending her leadership after coming to appreciate all she does.
Falling Feather disagreed with many of Clear Sky's decisions but felt too restricted to voice it. Instead, she convinced herself he was right. She died for Clear Sky's leadership, a cause she did not truly believe in but thought she had to fight for.
(In my rewrite thingy, I want each Clan to have a general concept attached to it, and WindClan is freedom, so I think it works)
StormClan's Folly spoilers and some of my problems with it
birdflight, spottedpelt, and gorseclaw are never mentioned once in the whole book. at all. ever.
Like... come on! They could have even had a line about "maybe we'll find skyclan!" maybe they stay back in ThunderClan, idk! They could have EASILY been some of the most interesting characters in the book but they aren't even in it, not even as a bg cat mention.
and there's no tunnellers/moor runner thing in WindClan.
in the start, Galestar and Stripestar question StarClan's cruelty, but at the end of the book it's all "StarClan was right and we should never have questioned them from the start!!" and it's the whole moral of the book. just feels gross bc the new writing team makes StarClan worse and worse but they're still supposed to be the moral highground (that is the whole point of ASC). It'd be neat if it were an intentional dystopian thing, but they're painted as strict but correct parental types, with Stripestar and Galestar depicted as dumb and foolish and selfish for trying to achieve their dream and trying to do anything new in the society that doesn't suit them.
StarClan is the kind of parent that says "don't do this, because I said so" and doesn't give an actual reason for it. Just that "I'm the smarter one in charge, do what I say, or you will be cutoff from me." It frustrates me so much. It is implied that ripping away the lives from Galestar while she was pregnant was stressful enough to kill her upcoming litter. StarClan was informed about her pregnancy beforehand and they did this anyway. Stripestar points out during the tough journey after some deaths that StarClan must have known what would happen but didn't tell them. The Tribe of Endless Hunting and the Ancients of the lake (???) give them warnings/hopeful messages but StarClan just says "if you do this, it will get very very bad and we disapprove"
also Fogdrift did not need to exist at all. She is introduced and killed and then Stripestar never thinks about her again unless someone else brings her up. I think Stripestar is meant to be like the kind of guy that distracts himself from his problems with doing stuff. At one point Galestar is sad about losing a litter of kits and she guesses Stripestar is sad about it too, and Stripestar's like "Oh yeah, we lost a litter a few months ago!! yep that's why i'm sad for sure" like he forgot or something. He doesn't care. He is so irresponsible and refuses to communicate with Galestar because of it and it's so annoying. This is his problem that the narrative should say is the folly, not that he's a dreamer who tried something new???
and bc it wasn't explicitly stated I am pretty sure that the animal that killed Mudsplash was a pine marten. Big stoat looking thing. It's about the size of a cat and the only mammal in Britain that looks like a big stoat. apparently they're known to kill creatures that are bigger than themselves?
In canon he's always been a pretty neat dude. I like him quite a bit in Secrets of the Clans, where he's not super into the other Clans and will skip gatherings. he's just a chill guy who meditates a lot by the river.
He's meant to be kinda mysterious and wise in Dawn of the Clans, but he never really gets the spotlight. I can think of two or three moments when he really shines.
and then we see him in Riverstar's Home where he just never has any idea what he's doing and he has a dead girlfriend (yes bc dotc needed more of those). Also his group had so many more cats that we just never saw in dotc so don't worry he has more than like 2 friends.
for my rewrite, I crammed like half of Riverstar's Home into book 2, which Ripple/River Ripple has a pov in. He keeps trying to go home while the river is both his saviour and a dangerous beast. Ripple begins to believe he was destined to stay by the river, that the river favours him because it saves him more than once in this book. At the same time, the river is terrifying because it kills. It kills the loner Whistle and it kills Fox from Clear Sky's group (he dies when Clear Sky confronts Ripple rather than Gray Wing, but Ripple keeps refusing to fight and dodging and Fox falls in. I thought it'd give Ripple an even stronger connection to the river and personal stakes against Clear Sky). The river gives life and takes it. Ripple meditates by it and learns from it, ultimately deciding to stay by the river for his new home, leading his own group there. He calls them the Cats of the River before the Clans are officially established.
This is when he renames himself to River Ripple. I chose later than in canon to give him more stuff to do in his book and to really establish when he changes his mind to stay and lead a group by the river. It's a huge change for him in his mind, and he gets the idea after chatting with Wind Runner and Gorse Fur.
His pov is in book 2, alongside Thunder Storm. I thought it'd be fun to compare these two cats who are both learning where their home is.
River Ripple is a peaceful cat, but his group eventually convinces him to fight for the river. He meets many cats that stay at his camp. Night, Mist, Hollow, Silver, Sage, Cleo, Hunter, Scout, Kite Wing, her kits, Croak... he also leaves an impact on Dew of the forest, and Dappled Pelt and Shattered Ice of the moor.
River Ripple will eventually be the one to suggest that kits get their name change when they go through a big change in their life, like he did. He's also the one to bring up mentors and apprentices bc of his own mentorship from Arc.
