Soul of the Night

Burnin' on the inside! Private, indie Shinya Hiiragi

[luthienne]

My inner voice was silent, not really offended, not bored or impatient either. It was simply silent and left me,

Christa Wolf, Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays (tr. Jan van Heurck)

[hiiragisniper]

might fuck around and crop more icons

[sharmanclub]

[hiiragisniper]

fauxvvalor​:

The demon hissed inside his head, and Yoichi slowly met the other’s eyes. He pleaded silently through the eye contact. He felt weak, pathetic, tired, and he really just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep; he wanted to put this off and deal with it later.

Gekkoin was not content with that, unfortunately. The demon continued throwing blows at the archer’s resolve with an slight hint of irritation. He lowered his gaze.

“I– …It won’t let me—” he started to speak, but his breath hitched, and Gekkoin hissed again, louder. He couldn’t tell if it was coming from his head or not anymore. Yoichi shook his head vigorously instead, shutting his eyes again.

How was he supposed to get help if he couldn’t speak? Shinya should just kill him, and save the rest of the building.

“Guren should have gotten rid of me when I joined—”

The struggle with which the boy spoke immediately was cause for anxiety. He approached slowly, one step at a time to see how close Yoichi would let him come.

“Who won’t let you?,” he asks, although considering the situation and the boy’s position as a cursed gear user, he could make an educated guess who “it” was. A hand moved to be ready to defend himself if necessary but for both their sakes he hoped Yoichi could hold on a little longer.

[hiiragisniper]

Every 8 months I come back just to do like 3 things I hate me

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo​:

     TO TEM, IT’S THE most bizarre feeling in the world. Shinya’s arms around her actually feel comforting; it doesn’t make her skin crawl, or fill her with an uncomfortable itch that seems to grate on her both inside and out. No, for once, and maybe once only; it feels nice to have someoneーto have HIM encompass her and ground her to this specific moment.

     It’s been so long since she’s seen him.

     It takes a little bit, but Tem is eventually able to calm down enough that she’s able to breathe normally, albeit a tad harder than usual, through the remnants of her tears. As unexpected as her reaction was for Shinya, it’s been just as much so for herーTem does not oft show such displays, let alone around, or for, other people. His apologies have sunk into her, and in a way, they’ve helped to numb her once she seems to have finally cried what she can cry.

     “ I was lonely. “ It’s barely audible, both a mumble and distorted by the thickness still in her throat. She squeezes him, before her entire body relaxes again, and her arms slip down, just barely keeping themselves up around his lower waist. “ I’m not good at making friends. “ Sure, there were some, and she cared dearly for them allーbut who appreciated her like Shinya? It’s not a thought against any of those she currently found dear or near to her; it was just the god’s honest truth.

     “ I’m not good at making friends, “ She repeats, moving back half a step, more of a lean than a separation, arms finally releasing Shinya so that she can begin to wipe at her eyes and face with the heels of her hands. “ I know you have important things to do. I’m sorry. But I miss you so much when you’re gone. “

Her words shatter what’s left of his already torn up heart. Her arms fall limply to his side before she completely releases him to attend to her tears. Shinya’s own embrace weakens, giving her the option to step away completely if she so desires. It was a little like their relationship really. Both wanting to keep the other close but not willing to truly hold on; out of fear of being vulnerable for once for Tem and knowing it might end in heartache for Shinya. Truly life wasn’t fair but it didn’t stop Shinya from being selfish sometimes. This wasn’t one of those times though - he knew she might need space and he wouldn’t burden her with his own feelings right now; he wouldn’t say the true extent he missed her. 

“Don’t say that, you’re pretty popular if I remember right,” he responds with a weak semblance of his usual demeanor. “But please don’t apologize, I appreciate that you cared I was gone. Normally you complain when I’m home too long so it’s nice to hear even if I hate to see you cry. Especially for me.” Tem’s tears brought out the side of the man that truly loved the woman before him (shut up I know, Vis.) and he wanted nothing more than to hold her tight and make promises he couldn’t keep. The only one he could make (and probably did already idr this thread super well) was that he’d always try to come back to her, even if it killed him.

[hiiragisniper]

tumblr gets uglier every time i come back here huh

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

　　“ My eyes are just fine! They can see perfectly well what a rotten idiot you are! “

“Such is my heart, cut in twain...”

“There’s always next year’s optometrist’s appointment!”

[batoushoujo]

　　ah yes, grace and mikey, vis and darlie…the stars are truly aligned tonight

[hiiragisniper]

i aint sayin nothing but thats kinda.....g ay

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

　　“ You know what you are? You’re fucking annoying. Maybe we should have your brain checked, if there’s anything even in there. “

“Unfortunately extensive trial and research have proven I am a peak male specimen! Maybe you should have your eyes checked instead, Tem.”

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

　　“ ーThat’s disgusting. Who the fuck are you?! Ew! “

“I’m Shinya Hiiragi, have you forgotten me even after all this time together?”

“Maybe you should see a doctor after all...”

[batoushoujo]

@hiiragisniper​ replied to your post: 　　why…do virgins keep ending up with me…

HOW MANY PEOPLE AHVE YOU FUCKED?!

　　“ SHUT UP!!! “

[hiiragisniper]

“SHOULD I BE OFFENDED? CONCERNED? DO YOU NEED A DOCTOR?”

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

　　“ You’re even more a loser than I thought. “

“Unless you’re volunteering to solve the problem, I don’t see why you’re criticizing.”

[batoushoujo]

　　Wh…what do you mean Shinya’s also  a virgin.

[hiiragisniper]

“I don’t lose. Not even my virginity.”

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

*right clicks you and looks through your files*

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

《　hiiragisniper‌　》

“To be fair you’ve never asked to come!” Not that he would let her come all the time anyway; it would interfere with his reporting too much. Well, truly it wasn’t about that - he didn’t want Tem to genuinely think their pseudo relationship was actually dishonest. He wanted to spend time with her because she was Tem, not because of the nature of his work.

“What exactly do you think I’m hiding anyway, Tem? Someone as incompetent as I couldn’t even begin to fathom something interesting to hide, so what could I possibly be up to?” He genuinely wants to hear her answer; mostly for his own entertainment because there’s very little chance she’d get it right.

But there is a part of him that genuinely would like to invite her out… maybe to a cafe… wait what?

　　… … … She knows he’s just being his dumbass self, but to some degree, he’s taking it too far.

　　　“ That kind of joke isn’t funny in this situation. Stop turning this around on me. You’re the one who’s been hiding it. I’ve never pried because you obviously don’t want it to come up. “

　　There’s a familiar pang building in her chest, one that she tries to keep away from thoughts associated with Shinya. But even a person she trusts can’t escape trauma that’s already there; at best, she can only try not to feel guilty about it.

　　“ …I don’t know, “  She answers flatly, earnestly. There’s a bit of a pause as she thinks on her words, not sure how to put this next part.

　　“ I know you’re not as stupid as you pretend to be. But you’ve been with me through a lot, so I choose to trust you. In fact, you’re the one person I don’t have to choose to trust. I just do. But that doesn’t protect us from everything. If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t push the matter, but you can’t make these shitty jokes like it’s somehow my own fault that I don’t know. “

And the line has been crossed. Tem is upset. Shinya immediately drops his idiot smile and joking tone.

“I apologize, I wasn’t trying to imply that I was just messing with you. I trust you too, with my life in fact, but I just don’t want you to end up hating me in the end is the reason its always been a secret.” Should I.... or would it ruin everything...? He sighs, and meets her gaze - neutral expression and dead serious. “I can tell you but you’d need to let me finish entirely before you inevitably get upset with me. It’s not inherently bad but... not a favorable situation that I’m in. That brought me into your life - but I promise the two were never related.”

[hiiragisniper]

batoushoujo‌:

　　“ Dictator-lead army, huh? “  　　She does not seem phased at all by the gun.

“Just get adopted by some power hungry psychos that want you to marry into their family and you should be fine! Just make sure you can handle all the verbal and occasional physical abuse, but honestly you wouldn’t last a day since you can’t handle taking orders or working in a team at all! Haha, Tem’s gonna get me and her squad killed day one!’