The secret life of a silent stoner
I was raised in a military, christian home. Which meant that cannabis was always seen as a taboo evil in my house. In fact, when I was 15, my father found out I was smoking weed with my best friend, whom I've known since i was 6, and not only was I forbidden from ever hanging out with him again, that was also the first and (thankfully) only time my father ever hit me (It was more a slap than a "hit", so don't worry). Needless to say, this closed-mindedness to cannabis didn't exactly motivate me to be truthful about enjoying the greener side of life.
Now, I'm not saying they should have been okay with the teenaged punk that was their son toking up behind campus when he was supposed to be in school, but even with legalization around the corner, their apprehension with cannabis continues on today, albeit, just a BIT more open minded about it. In fact, my mother utilized Hipjoynt for some topicals before I even started working here.
This closed mindedness caused me to become a pro at being what I referred to as a "silent stoner". Keeping things down-low and under the radar from my family.
In no way do I condone the youth of the world medicating with cannabis and keeping it from their families. My opinion is this- If you feel that you will benefit from it medically, talk to your family. If you don't think they'll hear it coming from you, then talk to your Doc and hopefully they can communicate the potential benefits of medical marijuana. Otherwise, if you're looking to use it recreationally, just wait until you can get your MMJ recommendation, or until you can procure it for recreation legally, when the time comes.
But you may want to keep your love affair with Mary Jane discreet for more reasons than an overbearing family. Perhaps you have kids or work in a field where you don't want to be associated with the (stupid) negative stigmas that are automatically assumed about you when you mention your affinity for the ol' wacky tobaccy. Whatever your reasons may be to keep things under wraps, this article will aim to help you in staying stoney in secret.
Methods of medicating
Before we look into preventative measures after the fact, the easiest way to keep things discreet is choosing the right approach to medicating. Obviously, if you live on the 5th floor of an apartment complex, sharing a one bedroom studio with your family, you're not going to want to keep jars of dank flower in your backpack or purse waiting to be used with a pipe or bong.
In my opinion, the best method for dosing on the down-low, is edibles, Like the many options Hipjoynt offers on our menu. Edibles are a great method of medicating discreetly, as you don't have to concern yourself with the smell factor (as much), and you can literally enjoy them almost anywhere. Just be aware, that it's important to know your dosage. It'd be a bit counter-intuitive to medicate on edibles for discretion's sake and end up too stoned to move because you took too much. The nice thing about the options that we at Hipjoynt have to offer, is that we have a wide range of potency options for everyone from the beginner to even the most experienced cannabisseur.
For more information on medicating with edibles check out our overview on different ways to medicate with cannabis here. But the important thing to remember is this- You can always eat more, you can't eat less. So if this is your first time delving into the wonderful world of edibles, be sure to take it easy and start small.
If edibles aren't your thing, I would recommend considering vaping. Not dabbing. Vaping. With a pen/battery that utilizes cartridges, like the Bloom Farm Highlighter or Cloud Juice cartridges that you can find on our menu.
The great thing about this option is that the smell is very light and dissipates very quickly. Now, I'm not recommending that you can vape in the bathroom while people are in the next room, because although it's not recognizable as weed, it does have a smell and it will pique some peoples curiosity. But the vapor produced is light enough that just having some air freshener or incense going would be sufficient cannabis cover. Another thing that is wonderful about vaping is the potency is much higher than regular flower, meaning that a little goes a long way. Where you may need to sit and toke on a joint or a bowl for 10-15 mins before you feel the desired effects, with vaping, one or two good draws off your pen will elevate you before you know it.
For me, this wasn't an easy option growing up, as legalization just wasn't happening at the time, so perhaps you're in a similar situation to where you can access traditional flower much easier than anything else for whatever reason. Well, in that case, you'll have to be a bit more vigilant in your efforts to keep things quiet.
If you’re looking for an even more low-key way of medicating, tinctures are also a fantastic option. Hipjoynt offers a great Honey Tincture which comes in either a high THC option, offering elevation with a lovely head and body buzz, and a high CBD option, for the medicinal benefits without so much of a head-change.
Tinctures come in a couple different forms, a dropper bottle, or a spray. In either case, all that’s needed is a nice dropper full or spritz under the tongue, and you’re on your way to elevation.
You could even use tinctures to elevate your food. Add a dropper-full or two to a drink or to your food and it’ll give it that nice edible kick. Just remember, ingesting it in this way is going to make it take much longer to kick in, but will make the effects much stronger and longer lasting.
The Smell
If you're stuck with (or just prefer) regular flower for medicating, then the smell is going to be your worst enemy and an ongoing battle.
There are many things to consider when talking about the smell, as you need to remember, you're going to have to be concerned with not only the smell on your clothes, body, and breath, but also the smell of the herb itself sitting in your bag or on your person. The best thing to do is to ditch the sandwich bag and get yourself some smell proof containers or bags. Both of which are easily procured through most decent smoke shops, and even easier online. If neither of those are options for you a good quality piece of tupperware will do the trick as well. You can find a bunch of spell proof bags at 420science where you can keep your medication AND your pipes and other accessories in and not worry about smell.
If you insist on smoking in an area where the people you want to keep it from frequent, there are also precautions that you can take to limit the smell of the smoke itself. The old school method that kinda-sorta, not really works, is the old dryer sheets in a toilet paper tube trick. Called a "sploof", just take a wad of dryer sheets, stuff them into a toilet paper tube and blow your smoke right through it. Just make sure to expel the smoke through your mouth and be careful of it coming out of your nose, as obviously, that would defeat the purpose. I personally haven't used this method when trying to smoke flower, but I've gotten mixed reviews from people as to it's effectiveness. I feel it is better suited for vaping, as the vapor is already a lighter smell. In fact, when my wife and I had to move back in with my parents for a bit, this is the method we used to medicate in the house. Our room was right across the hall from theirs and they rarely suspected anything except when I would forget to use it.
Another method is a product called the Sploofy. It's a carbon filter that uses the same idea, but with a much better filter than dryer sheets. Just remember that it only filters the smoke you blow out from your mouth, so be aware of the smoke coming off the bowl or joint itself.
Other than the masking of the odor from the act of sesh itself, you have to consider the aftermath as well. Always be sure to give yourself enough time to air out, if you're planning on seshing before interacting with anyone you're trying to keep oblivious to your enjoyment of the greener side of life. It's also a good idea to keep some sort of body spray or cologne for a quick spritz (I've even used Febreeze in a jam), just remember that unless you're a teenage boy, showing up reeking of cologne may be a huge sign that something is up as well, so pair moderate use with enough time to air out, and you should be good.
And don't forget your breath. Are you going to be talking face to face with people? You may want to consider carrying a small travel toothbrush/toothpaste set or bring along some breath mints or spray. Just make sure not to let your munchies get the best of you and make you eat all your mints before your sesh is over.
Miscellaneous
Some other things you may want to consider keeping with you:
Eye Drops- If you're prone to rise with red eyes after a sesh, then you'll definitely want to keep some eye drops handy. A quick drop or two will save you a world of inconvenience if you tend to get bloodshot eyes.
Snacks- Even if you take all the previous precautions, if you show up wherever you're going and just start hoovering down all the food in sight like Shaggy and Scoob, that will only help to bring up red flags to onlookers, so it's always a good idea to keep some snacks handy, to curb the munchies. Unless, of course you're going to get food already, then it's always nice to have the munchies so that you can really enjoy your meal. Just take into consideration who's paying, the last thing you want to do is eat yourself into debt because you chose the entire left side of the menu at a michelin star restaurant.
Final thoughts
Although this is a guide to help you keep your love of cannabis on the low and low, the most important thing to remember is this-
There is nothing to be ashamed of.
The only reason we as MMJ patients are burdened with the negative stigma of the "lazy stoner" is because of ignorance and misinformation. Try taking the time to talk to the people in your life about your decision to medicate with cannabis. The people closest to you should not judge you for wanting to find a safe and natural alternative to pharmaceuticals, if your well being is a concern of theirs.