Back in the day, the 70s that is, I met a beautiful young woman whom we shall call Jackie Oh! We were attending a party in one of the more sleazy townhouses of âCannibal Groveâ at the time. Jackie Oh! was a woman you could not fail to notice. Slim, tall, shapely, and stylish to a fault, Jackie Oh! resembled a sort of Jewish Princess version of Rock Icon Cher. The woman had a big head of Coal black hair, beautiful Dark eyes, and exuded âVampâ in her every movement. At the time she was wearing skin tight black jeans that clung to every curve of her legs and hips. Her 6 inch heels made her look even more intimidating. For some reason this incredibly elegant woman took a shine to me at the party. As we danced close together to one of the slow songs being cranked from record player Jackie gave me a French Kiss that was more like the tongue probe of a bison on crack! Frankly this move was shocking and almost disgusting. I mean Iâm a âdudeâ after all and should have welcomed this aggressive action, but a bit of sensual tongue for-play would have been a little more enjoyable! Anyway, after the two of us shared a couple dances, my buddies Nickel-Man and FireChief B pulled me aside and demanded that if I didnât âBallâ this chick before the night was through Iâd be known ever more as a âStump-Dick Faggot!â Well, that was a politically incorrect term even in those days, but Iâm trying to be truthful here. Anyway, the townhouse was crawling with guests from foyer to every bedroom. In fact there was barely room to turn around in the place. Jackie Oh! had her arms around two other guys at the party before she left. If my dumb-ass friends hadnât pulled me aside to encourage me to get down with this glamorous chick, well? Anyway Jackie Oh! Left the party hand and hand with a long-haired blonde guy. Well, about 2 weeks later I met Jackie Oh! again. She was working at the Victoriaâs Secret shop in the Columbia Mall. âVickieâsâ was a little too up scale for an 18 year old kid who sported t-shits and blue jeans nearly every day. By blind outhouse luck-or maybe not? I ran into Jackie as she was walking to her car in the Mall parking lot. She asked me if I need a ride and I wasnât about to say No. Jackie Oh! drove me to her home neighborhood in Ellicott City. She pulled over on a side street and I figured things were going to get interesting! Jackie had changed out of the long evening gown that was required Victoriaâs Secret company attire and was once again in a pair of skintight black jeans and a black top. She might have qualified as a âGoth Girlâ except for the restrained makeup and earrings. Jackie Oh! was really an incredible looking woman. Her perfume was pleasing and not overpowering, her movements were graceful and she was more quiet as we sat in the car talking. I liked this new sober version of her and thought we might make a romantic connection when she suddenly started telling me about her adventures as a groupie. Jackie Oh! and some of her smoking hot girl friends regularly made it backstage at some of the local Merriweather Post Pavilion concerts. She went on to inform me that she and her friends tried to âfuck Judy Collinâsâ but Ms. Collins wasnât going for it. Wait, âhow does a woman âfuckâ another womanâ I thought. This dark and mysterious chick was a type I had never previously (or since) had experience with. Now some potential readers today might ask, âAre you even sure that this Jackie Oh! Chick was a woman? I can guarantee you she was! The photos below of the woman in black is of course a portrait of Rock Icon CHER. Jackie Oh! resembled this image remarkably. To the right is a Judy Collinâs album. Tim Lodite, editor.