Hire Me Because

Just a recent post-grad desperate for a job. McDonald's doesn't count.

[hiremebc]

32.

Hire me because I don't think you "owe" me anything. Except for respect. And appreciation. No gold stars necessary.

[hiremebc]

31.

Hire me because I'm 1 rejection away from writing a nasty follow-up email to every interviewer that never got back to me. Because, CONSIDERATION.

[hiremebc]

30.

My distant dream of becoming an actor seems more feasible than acquiring the normal full-time job I'm asking of you.

[hiremebc]

29.

If I have to watch "This Means War" with Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine one more time on a movie channel I'll be sick.

[hiremebc]

28.

As much as I enjoy sleeping until 3pm every day, I would appreciate a purpose in life.

[hiremebc]

27.

Although I live in America, speaking perfect English counts for nothing. I can offer you my limited French skills. I also speak the big 3: Visa, Mastercard and Amex, you know, the ones that count.

[hiremebc]

26.

I'm sick of resending my resume to employers who contact me because I sent my resume to them.

[hiremebc]

25.

I don't want to apply for social services and mooch off the government for 10 years.

[hiremebc]

24.

I've "told you about myself" so many times my spiel could be a recording and you wouldn't even know.

[hiremebc]

23.

I've written so many cover letters I can turn it into a business.

[hiremebc]

22.

I’m tired of seeing jobs I’ve applied for two and three times over advertised on my school’s career site. And Indeed. And every other job board on the internet.

[hiremebc]

21.

I have better phone etiquette than your HR department. Do all HR people go through training that instructs them to have no personality on the border of dying?

[hiremebc]

20.

I graciously showed no sign of annoyance when you rescheduled our phone interview three times in the same day and then put me on hold 2 times during it.

[hiremebc]

19.

As I type thank you emails, I read them sarcastically in my head. "Thank you SO much for your time (that you just wasted) and I look forward to (never) hearing back from you!

[hiremebc]

18.

Applying and waiting to get a job is like waiting for my life to start.

[hiremebc]

17.

If I had a dime every time I "walked someone through my resume" I'd be rich.

[hiremebc]

16.

Naturally, 15 comes with a great sense of humor- only if it's actually funny.