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@historicalcatfacts
HI I’M KELPY and I will definitely, most probably, be your host. Absolutely. Alternatively you can call me Ven or Newt. This is a sideblog to @valebatcattus for child related shenanigans, mostly alice laying obnoxiously on dad and chattering about Historical Facts like fandaniel being a Demonic Entity Trying To Eat The Planet And That’s Why We Give Children Candy For All Saint’s Wake
Rules
Headcanons
About
"Papa has abandoned his kittens. Jail for papa, jail for one thousand years."
Alas, he was immune. “I do love you, very much. However, your mother runs the kitchen and therefore you must bring it up to her.” That was, unfortunately, one of the many hard rules of the house. “Albedo did mention he was going to the markets, perhaps if you ask him politely he can get you some as a treat.”
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Alice considered this state of things for a long while before nodding slightly "ALBEDO!!!!" they called, leaning back to avoid yelling in Ophi's ears. "PAPA SAYS YOU'LL BUY MY ICE CREAM! PLEASE?"
That wasn’t how it worked, and he gave their leg another light pinch. “Darling mi’kitten of the perch, must I remind you that dessert is ice cream tonight, with fixings. If I make it so you have french fries, you will not be having that.”
A pause, to consider this dilemma. "Kitten rights are to have both?" they try, eyes wide as they lean over his shoulder to stare at him intently. "You love your kittens?"
“Hm, it is great wisdom, unfortunately your mother has decreed it to be not french fries for dinner.” He’d give their leg a small, playful pinch. “What else does the wise mi’kitten of the perch have to say?”
"This is oppression of kittenish rights," the declare as their newest wisdom. "It should be made illegal in Amaurot to oppress the kittens this way. Make it so."
Ah, yes of course. Ophiuchus cleared his throat, head tilting to one side, then the other. “O wise mi’kitten of the perch, what is your wisdom?”
"French fries are the most delicious form of potato," they answer very seriously, tail twitching. "You should give your children french fries for every dinner."
@historicalcatfacts replied to your post “Clearly, one must get better at the art of...”:
Sneaks up behind the rabbit father to hop on his back.
Ah!
“Hello child of mine, have you come to impart your wisdom upon me this day?”
"Yes! But that's not how you ask a wise sage for their wisdom!"
A flower crown’s deposited upon their head. “I heard it’s… Little Ladies’ Day? Did you want me to go with you?”
"Yes please." Alice peers up at him, squinting thoughtfully. "You'll buy me ice cream?"
@historicalcatfacts replied to your post “"Woe. Woe unto me, for I have been abandoned into...”:
"What, no! I want them!"
There’s a fond laugh and Albedo knelt, placing the box on the ground. “Is that so?” Of course they did – they were much like Elena; wanting shiny trinkets. He rummaged in the box, adjusting miscellaneous books and items so he could pull them out. “Hold out your hands then.”
They hold out their hands immediately, closing their eyes for good measure just in case. Surprises were supposed to be secret after all. "Where did you go? You were gone a long time and didn't send a moogle with letters! You were supposed to write."
There is a sneak attack! Scooped from behind!
“I heard, a certain Mi’kitten wished to learn the importance of how I file my work. How about you and I spend a day in the archives and I can show you how I handle important documents?”
Alice shrieked in surprise, wriggling around to cling once they heard the offer. "Yeah!" They totally wanted to see how dad did it! "Can we get ice cream too?"
@voidalbound || u don't want my cookie???
"Oh." They look disappointed. "Do you want some carrot cake instead?" Maybe they'd like that better?
“I see.” That was a bit unusual – though Elena was known for doing that. “I will get you two puddings then, one from her stack and one from yours.” He would have a talk with his eldest afterwards about eating snacks that weren’t hers. It seemed she thought she could get away with it.
A grumble as their tail slowly fluffed down. "Okay." A pause. "Thank you." See, Alice could have manners. They nuzzled closer, still clearly grumpy. "Can I stay?"
@seatedsacrifice
"'Lena stole my pudding," they muttered finally, muffled by his shirt. Elena had eaten two whole puddings and left none for Alice! Wasn't that rude? Especially when one of them had been marked for Alice.
And now there was none left.
"No pudding left. I didn't get a snack."
Alice wants one too...
@phoinixflames || take the pudding grandpa
"Do you want pudding?" Alice responded, ignoring literally everything he'd said prior. "Mom forgot I don't like banana." It tasted bad, in their opinion.
“Is that so?” He asked, chuckling to himself as he continued reshelving the books. “And what does my fish child wish to do today?”
"Can we visit Limsa?" The market was overwhelmingly loud but it was interesting.
