history & heartbreak

a space to bleed, heal, and reflect

[historyandheartbreak]

My advice to you in the midst of breakup anguish is try to remind yourself of this fact: No matter how happy you were with that person, the best days of your life have not happened yet. I know it feels like all your joy is behind you and everything beautiful you felt is now just a memory you share with a stranger, but I promise nothing will compare to waking up on your wedding day or holding your child for the first time. Hearing “mama” from a miniature you will bring tears to your eyes and heal every wound. I promise.

[historyandheartbreak]

I know that he said all the right things and you fell in love like never before and you swore he was the one. You shared parts of yourself that you’d never given to anyone. And I still don’t know why he woke up one day and decided he didn’t need you. I wish I could explain it, offer a logical reason. But no matter how many times you’ve cried in the shower and no matter how many times you’ve asked yourself what you could’ve done differently or why you weren’t enough, the reality is you will get through this. One day you will wake up and make yourself a cup of tea and sit on the couch and your first thought won’t be of him. You will go out and dance the night away with your friends and not think about him at all. You’ll make eye contact with a guy on the dance floor and your eyelashes will flutter to your feet. Your cheeks will flush and you’ll remember what it feels like to be alive. It might take weeks, it may take months. But you’ll do it and you’ll smile again. And I can’t wait to see you smile again.

[historyandheartbreak]

I can’t explain how much he means to me other than by saying I pray for him every night and always will.

[historyandheartbreak]

And, it turns out, the way it ended was just as unexpectedly beautiful as it began.

[historyandheartbreak]

I hope you feel as happy as I do when we’re intertwined on the couch watching tv. I hope my laugh is like music to your ears, and my smile is enough to tug at yours. I hope my kisses feel like sunbeams on your face, and my name is the only one you want to whisper. I hope that my love makes you feel safe, knowing your heart is my whole world.

[historyandheartbreak]

I wish I could tell you how beautiful he feels. To hold him is to hold magic in my arms.

[quotemadness]

“What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her.”

— John Green

[historyandheartbreak]

It was like the entire universe planned for that moment. Time stopped. Everything in the outside world ceased to exist. Breathless and exhilarated, I couldn’t hold enough of him in my arms. I looked into his eyes and just knew. In synchronization our bodies became one. He whispered “I love you” and all I could do was pull him closer against my chest, praying he sensed how unequivocally my heart belonged to him.

[historyandheartbreak]

And when he kissed me that time, it was different. The world could’ve gone up in flames beside us, and I’d still be there, in that room, kissing him.

[historyandheartbreak]

Even when we’re mad

Even when we can’t look at each other

Even when we fought in the bar and you walked away from me, all I could think was I love him more than he’ll ever know.

I can’t promise perfection, but I can promise you this.

The darkest thought you’ve ever had, the worst thing you’ve ever done, I will still be here. On our worst days and on our best days.

I can’t fathom why I deserve a man like you, but I do know that as long as you’re trying, I’m staying.

[historyandheartbreak]

He made me feel like the color yellow was inside of me. That I was the color of happiness, radiating from my core. I was the sun. I was a dandelion. I was something beautiful that only he could see.

[historyandheartbreak]

I found that, with him, I daydreamed about waking up beside him. That was the difference. Most guys I just wanted to spend a few hours with and accidentally fall asleep next to. With him, I wanted to be the first thing he saw every morning. The first thing his lips touched. The first thing he felt. I wanted to be his “five more minutes.” I wanted to ask him what his dreams were, knowing good and well he was living proof they come true.

[historyandheartbreak]

There is my heart, and then there is you, and I’m not sure there is much of a difference.

[historyandheartbreak]

I wish I could go back in time and tell that 17 year old girl crying with her back against the bathroom door that it gets better.

I would tell her to stand up and dry her tears, because someday she is going to meet someone better than she ever imagined.

He will be kind. He will be good. He will be everything she was afraid was asking too much.

He will be strong, hardworking, and loving. He will be stunningly beautiful with a heart of gold.

You’ll love him more and more everyday. He will feel familiar like an old best friend. His arms will be the warmest place you’ve ever known, and his kisses will make you weak in the knees.

He’ll stay even when it’s hard.

He’ll be worth waiting for.

[historyandheartbreak]

Some love never dies, but where does it go?

[historyandheartbreak]

I want you to hold me so tightly against your chest that our heartbeats become one.

[historyandheartbreak]

You’ll know when he calls you baby.

You’ll know when he takes your hand and kisses it like you’re made of gold.

When he wraps his arms around your stomach as you cook dinner, or rubs your thigh with the windows down and your feet on his dash.

When he says he loves you - every morning and every night. You’ll know by the way he speaks to your father, and the flowers he sends to your mother.

You’ll know by the way he looks into your eyes.

You’ll just know.