smile, still.

kim jiho. 18. marigold university student. ranch helper of the choi family. delivery girl of the stationary store. your resident broken sunshine.

[didiii0-0]

[hmyooa-blog]

♡ of childhood and loose ends

(....)

“i’m sorry,” she finally says, half-giving up. she sucks air in through gritted teeth before squeezing her lips and then letting it all out. “i’m sorry, i’ll stop interrogating you then. you know i’m always here if you ever change your mind though, right?” she reaches out, her fingers looking for jiho’s hands and she holds them if the other lets her. “something might have happened to you but our friendship will never change! i’ll always love you the most, you know, right!”

[hmjiho]

jiho’s youth reeks of ruined lunch boxes and sharp comebacks by people her age. the ones who grace from a family with a social class that thrusts them immediately on an impervious pedestal. boys who seek pleasure in seeing poor young kim squirm over their cruel actions, shivering from the simplest form of intimidation. girls who push her away over reasons she can not change overnight, those that see and treat her as nothing but someone who scrapes the bottom of the barrel because what her parents can merely afford they can effortlessly get by a snap of a finger. back then, she never had much to her name. just that she wasn’t as privileged as most of them, and had no one to rely on but herself ( her brain and heaps of hard work ) solely to survive every school year.

but she never dwelt a lot on it, only passing it off as some small fights between immature kids such as them who does not know any better. well, wasn’t it constantly the case for someone like kim jiho? eyes fixated only on the positivity of it all; minding the good more than the bad because what could she possibly get from the latter, anyway? people trying to hurt her really didn’t mean much, certainly not when she had a lot to look forward to in life. in which case were her family who she can always go home to, marigold and yongdam she’s always free to visit every school vacation, and of course shiah - who she can always trust.

yoo shiah was more than just a childhood friend to jiho. their friendship was built on firm foundation; support in the form of mutual confidence that the two of them will remain definitely like they were during the very first time they had met and played in the fields all day long. she was caring and understanding, didn’t care even by a bit if jiho’s pencil case was dated or if she had been wearing the same pair of shoes ever since. bottom line was that their comradeship is something meant to last long, if only one had not decided to let go of her end of the rope - jiho never really had the tightest grip over the things that bear the most importance.

now barely left are remnants of that strong bond, despite jiho trying her hardest to keep in touch with shiah right after staying in marigold for good. her friend was considerably still yoo shiah; energetic and amicable. but kim jiho, is by now jiho with the lack of trust and strength to tell people the burden she carries. shadows casted and no plans of escaping from it. if this was the only way to stay away from the reality that can always break her for good, then there were not any reason for a desperate soul like her to do otherwise.

“i know,” she returns nearly mumbling, forcing a smile as she holds her hand tight. jiho doesn’t want to ruin such a treasure. she’d salvage whatever is left as much as possible but if her friend continues to push further, she’s not quite sure how herself can handle it or what measures she’d be willing to take just to refrain something from ever being brought up. “and i love you, just as much!” a nod as a sign of reassurance that whatever gap has grown between them, she’s still trying to find her own ways to fill that up. “anyway, have i mentioned that i brought some meat? grandma wanted to give you some too so –” she attempts to navigate the situation, standing up from her seat to get the sack situated on the the table.

[hmjiho]

( off to a bad start. * )

@hmxpilkyo ·͈༝·͈ ﾉ

meddling in other people’s business has been in jiho’s nature for far too long; staying in the sidelines only if her intuition tells her the lack of need to step in - which tends to happens seldomly because she’d always end up helping others even when no request is up for her to take. 

the supposed pure intention of lending a hand with just as much fuel of atonement; to have her hands full; her mind focused on other things but one, have always been the best options for someone like kim jiho. except boundaries are always bound to be crossed when there is lack of consideration to the other party and the young girl isn’t the best reader when it comes to things that make people irked. a perfect recipe for a disaster, in every way possible.

and so here she is, about to step on a certain line people would normally take a step back from. then again, being still wouldn’t able her to stop people when they do something she deems as unacceptable - just like this one. this one, she figures, can’t be swept under the rug. letting the green lamp on her hand illuminate the surrounding better, she musters up her courage to speak up against the man in front of her –

           “ i’m sorry, sir. but don’t you think that’s just cruel for you to do?                      the poor daisies.. they aren’t even fully grown yet.” 

[hmjiho]

tracker  080516 - who knows when ;;

writing.

memes ( not accepting!!) ; 7/11 sungyeol, juniel, yujeong, youngae

starter ; eric

waiting for grandma ; haley

a stubborn one ; youngae

let’s take a walk ; nara

starter ; hanbin

first come first serve ; yongsun

in the moonlight ; taehyung

waiting.

precious weakness ; hyejin

it runs in the blood ; jaejoong

small world ; mingxia

can i come in? ; nayeon

poultry trouble ; taehyung

off to a bad start ; pilkyo

of childhood and loose ends ; yooa

[hmnara-blog]

Let’s take a walk 🐾 Jiho + Nara

“Come on Cake, let’s take a walk!” Nara said, crouching down on the floor, leash in hand. The kitten looked up, pulled out from his dream land. He walked over with leisure in both his movements and his expression. The young cat had been trained to walk on a leash right after the female got it, so it was a pleasantly calm routine without any scratches or biting marks on Nara’s arms.

The weather was just to the young woman’s liking, even though a little warm, but nothing she wasn’t already used to.

She walked through the Orchid Street, taking a different route from usual. The houses were very pretty and as usual she got lost in thought quickly. That was when she noticed a change in her kittens behaviour. He stopped walking and started hissing. Surprised she looked from Cake towards whatever he was hissing at and she saw another cat with its owner.

Nara felt like she’d seen the other girl before, but couldn’t say she remembered her, exactly. “Wow, they don’t seem to like each other too well.” she chuckled at both of the cats farouche behavior.

@hmjiho

[hmjiho]

miracle, jiho’s most beloved feline, wasn’t the most outdoor type of pet to begin with. despite being harness-trained by the girl ever since it was a kitten, it never really paid that much attention and would mostly opt to stay inside her litter box with all her cat toys to play. so it was naturally a shock for her owner when she’d decided to tag along and go for a walk outside.

of course jiho was happy to be spending some time with her cat somewhere other than indoors, but she was just as uneasy - taking into account all of the savage instances that she had had to handle because miracle also wasn’t exactly the friendly type even to her fellow cats - just like this one. 

she was suddenly jolted forward by her pet, tail already flicking back and forth as its ears lay flat towards the side. her hand has already lost its grip to the leash and jiho can only heave a sigh as she let the two cats be for the time being.

     “i know, we might as well just leave them some space to settle their kitty issues.” she returns, meeting the gaze of the other cat’s owner. “oh hello. aren’t you the tailor from yongdam? my grandmother used to have her dasters made by you. she loves them so dearly!” with cat-like eyes widen, she exclaims.

[hmjiho]

“Can I come in?”

jiho plops herself down on the wooden chair behind the counter, opening her textbook to review for an upcoming exam. her boss had asked her to watch over the stationary store for a good few minutes – and since her next class does not start until after an hour, she didn’t see any reason for a refusal. 

the place was relatively quiet, one of jiho’s favorite trot song playing in the background - a bit muffled as not to completely sidetrack her from studying. she was already half-way through the chapter when a knock on the door snaps her from her little trance. craning her head to have a better view, she sees a petite girl standing in front of the store, just about her age. she quickly prances over to the door, sporting a slight grin as she opens it.

            “can i come in?” the girl in front of her asks, making jiho nod as she motions her to get inside. although her actual job was delivering things, she’d been inside of the store countless of times for her to learn pretty much how it all goes.

      “my boss isn’t here at the moment but i’ll most definitely be glad to assist you,” politeness in her tone, the brunette stands warily with both arms braced behind her back - letting the customer choose what she’d like to buy.

[idolsgeneration]

[hmjiho]

( poultry trouble. * )

[hmxtaehyung-deactivated20190730]

Taehyung wasn’t the most studious person—he struggled with attending class, much less paying attention to it. He wasn’t great at any particular subject, and he sure wasn’t on anything close to to the honor roll at school.

But what he was good at, was his job. He loved animals, he loved taking care of them, taking on the labor of a ranch. The work was rough, and if you didn’t pay attention, one of the pigs could kick the door and run squealing loose, a cow could destroy some property, you could even ruin something yourself. But he didn’t mind any of that. Ranch work was his passion, and especially the chickens, whom he had grown up with his whole life.

One of his co-workers, though, evidently had trouble. He couldn’t blame her. She had a few classes with him, studied well, and helped Mingxia out with deliveries in addition to the work he saw her do at the ranch. She was usually smiling, albeit misplacing things or making a mistake almost as much. The boy often wondered what caused that absent-mindedness, seeing as it was only at the ranch. Still, he never minded helping her when she needed it. For whatever reason, it was really difficult to get upset at her, much less scold her for it.

When he heard the sound of a girl’s panicked voice he recognized it as her’s. “Ah, is it Jiho?” he walked quickly over to where the shout came from and caught sight of her looking over the area frantically.

Expression clearly perplexed, he let out a “what’s wrong?”

[hmjiho]

growing up in the bustling city of seoul, jiho was admittedly more acquainted with the urban life. she didn’t hate it; after all, her parents always explained to her how living there would give her endless opportunities in the future. but somehow, she ended up taking it with a tinge of spite. with her parents, the coffee shop and the nice customers who frequent it– that was home. the rest of it? just a crowded place, almost suffocating. her younger self just tried too hard to get by. seeing people with a briefcase on one hand, brisk steps almost burning the concrete down and always bumping into each other as they sway their hands aggressively – not minding others because they all had their own business to attend to. endless honking of cars, drivers spitting harsh words. the almost lack of life. 

it must’ve been the reason why she was always looking forward to family vacations, because it meant marigold and yongdam. it meant grandparents with their welcoming smile. cookies, lots of them. it meant all the good in the world. back then, she’d always ask her parents if they can stay a bit longer but to no avail. she’d always wish for more time and now she has all the time to spare - despite of course, the payment it took for her to have it. upon arriving at marigold, jiho made sure to keep herself busy for some reasons. going to college, picking up a job at the stationary store and even at the choi ranch. 

truth be told, her endearment for animals wasn’t something innate. she used to scream every time her grandfather would bring her to hope, a white tennessee walking horse. but it was just as inevitable, seeing how she has grown fond of them throughout the years. what was the root of all these mishaps, though? maybe it was her being a perfectionist only to screw things over still. or heck - maybe it was her subconscious mind doing all these half-heartedly because she couldn’t afford being attached to anyone or anything just to lose it at the end of the day. 

now she finds herself in a state of total chaos, eyes darting from one part of the ranch to another. making very unconvincing chicken sounds as she tries to look for the missing one. “yup, i’m doomed.” she blurts out, a palm pressed against her forehead. the sudden voice almost made made her jump in fright, and her eyes widens in a split second upon seeing who it was. taehyung, jiho already knew him from the university - although she never sees him in their shared classes. he’s one of the first few people that had help her when most of the tasks didn’t quite make sense. unlike the others, he was rather more patient in assisting her. taehyung, jiho thinks of him as a gentle soul; he shows a different type of fondness for the animals most especially the chickens. which makes everything worst because she’s not even expecting him to forgive her for this.        “taehyung – well, uhm there’s a little problem. which involves something that lays an egg and has wings and i’m really sorry, you must certainly hate me for this but i messed up and i will find her or him for you, i promise!” she explains without missing a beat as she looks at him with pleading eyes, her complexion already off.

[hmjiho]

“It all works somehow in the end.”

the guard of her alma mater gives her a playful salute as she comes close to the public school’s proximity, jiho gives back a two-fingered one and lets out a soft chuckle.

       “i’ll just drop these off, ahjusshi. make sure to treat your favorite alumna for some snacks when i get back!” the brunette jokes before coming into a halt to place her bicycle in the rack. she picks up the box with notebooks and other school supplies that a teacher has ordered and enters the school building.

it was still the same vibrant environment that had made her high school life worthwhile. she takes the time to greet all her past teachers, joking about how the university is slowly taking a toll on her. which was true to an extent, but she didn’t want to dwell on it any longer. jiho excuses herself from the small crowd to finally get this done with. she somehow struggles with the box but regains her composure anyway. the room was quite far away and her memory didn’t do much help. ‘oh, i think those are the first year rooms.’

she was about to knock when a choking whimper echoes through the slightly opened door, a student having her head down as a male teacher looks at her with a sympathetic gaze. not wanting to eavesdrop any longer, jiho takes a step back only to stop when the man had said something. something that deep inside she hopes holds truth to it.

[hmjiho]

“I gave up.”

the sea breeze greets jiho with a gentle graze along her skin, making her close her eyes as she tries to inhale the peace and serenity of yongdam’s beach. she would occasionally pay a visit here every chance she gets; aside from the mountain peak and harvest lake, she finds this somewhat calming. sometimes taking a break from everything is all it takes, after all.

she was about to head back and call it a day when she hears a voice, exuding something breaking. pain and suffering that she’s just too familiar with. jiho momentarily freezes before turning her head to its direction. a girl sitting on the edge of the dock, by herself. little steps towards the said girl, she simply sits just close enough to hear her out. if it was giving pieces of advice about not giving up, jiho would most definitely not be the one for the job.

[hmjiho]

“You can help each other. You’re perfect complements to each other.”

whenever the other staffs aren’t around and she doesn’t have anything important to do, jiho always tend to help mingxia with the workload in the stationary store. the younger’s respect for her boss has grown so much over the years. balancing her studies and part-time jobs was never an easy feat for her. but she was lucky enough to work for someone who’s more than understanding and was open for compromises when she needs it most.

she stands on a wooden stepladder and carefully puts the stocks to their rightful place, responding to mingxia whenever she has something to say. although their bond still isn’t that strong and deep for jiho to open up to her, it was just enough for the younger to talk about the less personal things like how her day had went and alike. she mentions what had happened the other day, when she almost lost a chicken in the choi ranch and how she thought her co-worker, who just so happens to be a friend of mingxia, would end up cursing her for it. 

        “complement?” she questions, eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “well, if you’re talking about me being a total mess of a ranch hand while he’s such an expert himself then i guess so!”

[hmxhaley-blog]

📷 @hmjiho​

it was supposed to be her lunch break. there was only a single hour on market days that she was allowed to ditch the stall to return home for something to eat.  and, of course, as her luck would have it, that sole hour had to be interrupted by a knock at the front door.  for a moment, she paused, praying that someone else was actually around and able to answer it for her, but a second knock came that told her to abandon her meal momentarily.  with hyesoo and hyebin still at the market, and her grandparents outside with the few farmhands, she was unfortunately the only one around to greet the unexpected visitor.

it took a bit of effort to actually get herself to stand (as well as a dramatic groan), but haley was eventually able to make it to the door before the house guest turned away.  pulling it open, she leaned casually against the door frame, gaze dusting over the familiar face.  her grandmother must have forgotten that she was expecting a delivery from the stationary store.  “hey, sorry, grandma’s out back right now.  you can leave that here and i’ll tell her you stopped by.”

[hmjiho]

jiho has always thought that the rivalry between marigold and yongdam was more subtler than expected. some people doesn’t express it verbally but their actions can speak otherwise; no matter how hard they try to mask their prejudice towards each other. often times while going on with her deliveries, she’d sense the aversion of others whenever they realize that she’s from marigold, although the general public seems to be rather welcoming. just like the old lady who orders from the stationary store every week and always invites jiho inside her home for some baked goods.

she was expecting to see the the grandma but was rather welcomed by someone younger. jiho remembers her name as haley since her grandmother has always mentioned her whenever they go for a quick chat. she was looking forward to meeting the old lady today since she had promised to give her some tips regarding ranch work. “oh, hello! well, is it alright if i wait for her to come back? i’ll just stay here outside, i have no more deliveries to do anyway.” she explains, hoping she won’t come off as an interruption to the older.

[hmjiho]

tracker  072216 - who knows when ;;

writing.

memes ( not accepting!!) ; 7/11 sungyeol, juniel, yujeong, youngae

starter ; eric

starter ; pilkyo

waiting for grandma ; haley

of childhood and loose ends ; yooa

a stubborn one ; youngae

waiting.

precious weakness ; hyejin

it runs in the blood ; jaejoong

small world ; mingxia

can i come in? ; nayeon

let's take a walk ; nara

i tried to edit some of the memes that i had already answered to make it more possible to be a starter so, if you want to continue it then just do so :> 

[everysongaday]

Visit Original Link

OH HYUK (오혁) of HYUKOH - 소녀

[hmjiho]

“The world is over, but I don’t care.”

jiho admits that if she were to look at this just on the surface, she’d find his thought very contradicting with his chosen profession. someone whose job is to provide healthcare is also someone who shows nothing but apathy? but if jiho had learnt something from her eighteen years of existence , it’d be that everyone has their own reasons to live their life the way that they do. so she lets him talk, listens with just the same amount of respect.

“hmm. well, we all have different priorities anyway - so, i guess that’s alright.” her respond was rather a lame attempt of making the air less serious than it already was. but jiho isn’t really the best talker, and she might as well grow an extra pair of ears because listening is her self-proclaimed forte.

[hmjiho]

“Well, when you put it that way…”

her fingers were crossed as she tried to explain the policies of the ranch to the girl, hoping she’d be on the much more understanding side.. frankly, if she was the one in charge - she would let some outsiders inside for them to visit the animals, with just some strict rules to follow. but her hands were tied and all she could give the lady was a sympathetic smile and some other made up reasons to fully convince her not to go inside. 

“besides, it could be a nice place for you to draw but well you’d have to deal with a serious case of mosquito bites,” she says in a deadpan manner – “and the horses having your sketchbook as their lunch..” jiho continues but breaks into a chuckle this time. “i wouldn’t want to gamble my artworks, if i were you,”

[hmjiho]

“No, I know. It’s just–”

she remembers linking daisies in the middle of the field, innocent giggles escaping their lips as they try to hide from their already enraged mothers. she remembers petty arguments over dolls and who gets to eat the last piece of cookie - mostly yooa, because little jiho would bawl her eyes out before even having the chance to retaliate. because little jiho, despite her shortcomings, could never imagine a life without yoo shiah - her first ever friend.

which makes everything more ironic, when you think about it. her younger self must be furious right now. shouting something along the lines of ‘you are very mean. you’re going to make her leave you!! she’s my friend, what are you doing!?” her face already tear-stricken.

there are times when she asks herself, truth be told. ‘when did you start being so far away, jiho?’        — hoping  for some answers, hoping that beating herself up over hurting others could maybe cancel out her mistakes.but there’s only so much that she can do for the kim jiho that she has become.

“shiah, i know you mean no harm – but you need to believe me when i tell you that i’m alright,” she retorts almost calmly, maintaining the facade. “ – i don’t need to talk about anything so please, just let it go..”