Arm Day, Brainship & a German Trannie
Arms! ARMS!! A R M S ! ! !
Getting pumped up in the car by screaming the afore mentioned phrase in the parking lot of my Gym. A ritual recently inaugurated into my growingly necessary weightlifting sessions.
Arms! ARMS!! A R M S ! ! !
On my last arm day I felt a little..... puny? Yes puny. No burn that day (3 days ago) NOTHING! Something’s up....somethingain’t jiving here hobo! I’m a noob; of course I was doing something wrong! At least that’s what my inner monologue was telling me..like it would know.
What is “Brainship” you ask? Well, it’s my word that I made up in my brain so here is the ascribed meaning for my hypothetical word: brainship: when your brain and your muscle know each other, love each other and talk to each other. That is brainship.
I have no brainship; well, “had” no brainship. Something changed, and it was me.
Today when I grabbed my DB’s and snagged the last semi-moist bench I looked down at my puny biceps and said: Today, you heathen bicep we will burn.
Today Hobo Nation, I felt the burn, and not in my pee-hole.
Progressive DB Concentration Curl
Set 1 - 12 reps @ 12.5 lbs (started 2.5 lbs heavier that last day)
Set 2 - 10 reps @12.5 lbs
Set 3 - 8 reps @15 lbs (holy shit did this hurt)
Progressive Bar-Bell Bicep Curl
Set 1 - 12-15 reps @ 20 lbs
Set 3 - 8-10 reps @ 30 lbs (oh yeah but wait, there’s more)
Set 4 - 3-5 reps @ 40 lbs (that’s fucking right! get some)
Progressive Inclined DB Bicep Curl - Big Challenge this one
Set 1 - 10-12 reps @ 12.5 lbs (this was harder than I thought)
Set 2 - 8-10 reps @ 12.5 lbs
Set 3 - 4 reps @ 15 lbs (W O W total burn out here)
Set 3 - 6-7 reps @ 25 lbs
Progressive Tricep Kick-backs
Set 1 - 12 reps @ 12.5 lbs (higher than last arm day by 2.5 lbs)
Set 2 - 10-12 reps @12.5 lbs
Set 3 - 8-10 @ 15 lbs (killer)
Yeah that was my 40-45 minuted weight-lifting routine. We all gotta start some where, and here is that place.
In other news: I was concentrating on my.......... concentration curls and I hear a bit of creole going 700 miles per hour. I glance in the mirror (why look at them directly when you can mirror fuck them) and I see 3 young gents whispering and giggling like school girls. I follow the gaze of (what I mentally dub) The Creole Connection (through the looking glass aka mirror) to see at what these 3 homo-sapiens are giggling at and I, without a doubt in my mind, see exactly what they are giggling about: the worst trannie I’ve ever seen.
It was a shredded 55-60 year old man-person donning a red wig and dangling sunflower shaped earrings wearing very tight sweat pants and a tight fitted soccer shirt that read: GERMANY. This is gonna be great.
I mentally I refer to this individual as Mrs. Germany and while looking down and continuing my curls, I giggle inaudibly to myself. Yes I am a bad person.
ENTER: THE CREOLE CONNECTION
Our 3 antagonist come over to the DB rack and grab some 25′s, 30′s and 35′s and go over and start their version of what I think was shoulder day. They each did a round of standing over head presses about 10-12 I think..my creole is rusty. #PunCity
Well, this is where the reality of why you never mess with a trannie comes into play: this bitch walks over the the DB rack and grabs 50′s! Yeah, this seemingly skinny but shredded Man-Woman train wreck grabbed 2, 50 lb dumbbells and CRANKED out at least 15-20 reps of standing overhead DB presses. HOLY SHIT.
But wait Hobo Nation! There’s more: So I am here in the center of this, sandwhiched between awe and utter amusment. I walk over to the BB rack and grab my 30 and walk over to my spot and start cranking out reps. The Creole Connection starts rambling on like a drunken Mick Jagger and they all walk over to the DB rack where the Mrs. Germany was pumping up at and they seemingly are debating and pointing at the various wieghts and what not. I’m over here, slowing down because I know what they are saying. I’ve been working ina restaurant for 20 years. I’ve picked up some creole, and I know they said: weights, you and faggot. This is gonna be great, and it was.
The Creole Connection grabs the following: 2, 50 lb DB’s and 2 55 lb DB’s. Seeing this equation come together on this chalkboard of bad decisions I pause my inclined curls and pretend to be taking a break while sitting on the bench glancing at the mirror in their direction.
The smallest guy goes first: he grabs the 2, 50 lb DB and attempts a standing over head press. It was too funny to mangle with words but I swear that man shit himself half way up that first press of failure. He couldn’t get it past his ear lobes.
The 2nd guy flat out says no way and they call him a pussy. (in creole)
The biggest guy of the 3, I mean seriously this guy looked like he could easily squash at least 5-8 reps of the 50′s but he decides that he can read my mind and glances around the gym and grabs the 55′s. I think: Go for it. He did. He squeezed one press out and I seriously believed that he was going to explode as he pressed those DB’s tight over his V shaped fluffiness and DROPPED them to the floor with a lunk that froze the whole gym.
They looked at each other in shock. They couldn’t do it. 20? Try 1. barely one to that trannies 20. They walked outta the gym without returning their equipment to it’s place. A few moments went by and I was cleaning up my bench and getting ready to leave when Mrs. Germany walks over to where The Creole Connection was and she looks around at the wide array of DB’s on the ground. She says nothing, and simply starts putting all of them away. She leaves the 55′s for last and stares at them. She looked up and around as if searching. I think she knew why there were so many weights there, and I think she knew who left the there. I swear she smiled a sly one and grabbed those 55′s and cranked out another 20 reps before returning them to there DB home, looking in the mirror and winking to herself.
Moral of the story: Don’t judge a trannie by her wig choice.
jimmyeatworldofficial
stormborns
gummygunk
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
gracieabrams