The Ho Police

I'm Van Hohenheim. Welcome.

[heavenlyshadowhunter]

[chattoeart]

FMABruary2025 - Halcyon

"To Reminisce"

[memesmadefullmetal]

FMA’s BIGGEST LOSER: THE GRAND FINAL

Vote for FMA’s Biggest Loser!

Hohenheim

Havoc

Pride

Roy

Voting ended onOct 18, 2023

[leahdrawsstuff]

things are getting spooky

[plateofpie]

i sigh everyday that this didn’t get animated

[strangemonochromes]

Fullmetal Alchemist // Hiromu Arakawa

[robertphilip]

[urfaveisunfuckable]

van hohenheim from fullmetal alchemist is unfuckable! worlds least slutty absent father

[huh-enheim]

Van Hohenheim's Existential Nightmare for the PS3

[zevsarainai]

archie renaux was so fucking funny for this

[hohenheimsstone]

@trishastomatoes​

[clownhaggard]

u all want a catgirl gf until she tries to eat your goldfish

[lusts-alchemy]

It’s been such a long time... are you dead yet?

@roys-alchemy

[roys-alchemy]

Wouldn’t you know a thing or two about being dead.

[lusts-alchemy]

Technically I died multiple times so I know more than one or two things :)

Unlike, you know, Hughes. He died only once. He only knows one thing about death.

[hohenheimsstone]

Do I learn a new thing about death every time I lose a soul? Or do I specifically have to die?

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

you: tbh (to be honest)

me, an intellectual: tbh (Theophrastus Bombastus van Hohenheim)

[hohenheimsstone]

dear mr hoenheim, I need ur help. I keep forgeting which glass is mine when its on the counter and drinking from my familie's cups. normally when that happens, I just put it down and hope nobody saw. but now i've messed up real bad. I picked up a jar from the counter (because we stan drinking out of mason jars in this house) and took a big swig but it wasn't water it was the expired kefir from the fridge and it tasted like death and i don't know why it was out in the first place what do i do????

Dear Anonymous,

You have come to the right place, me, the expert on drinking things that are terrible accidentally.

Unfortunately you’ve failed what would be my first step of advice: Let no one know about this ever. From my experience if you drink a bad thing and it’s funny they shall never let you forget it. However, since no one can tie your message to you, probably, it’s fine. So don’t worry about that.

Your tongue will remember this sin forever, long after you have forgotten. It will pop up in your brain like an unruly ghost. “Hey, remember that terrible taste? That bad taste that happened? It was very unpleasant. Here is a hint of that, from the brain.” And that will happen from time to time. You learn to live with it.

If it’s any consolation you have my full solidarity and support. You also could probably get a punch for your thembo punchcard, if you happen to have one. You can get a free smoothie if you get all the punches.

I also want to comment that I appreciate your mason jar based household.

So, what do you do... You carry on, as all must. Perhaps now you will have stare downs with your mason jars before taking sips, as the haunting expired kefir smacks at your memory. If your daring drinkery continues, you may at least come out of it with additional funny stories, and that is always a silver lining.

- Mr. Ho

[alienbrainwave]

a commission i did of Mr Ho for my friend @bloodandart ! Thank you again! Im open for ko-fi commissions like this btw! private message me if youre interested

[lemon-and-lead]

tattoo artist x florist AU of one of my very favorite ships! 

[bruhchantite]

So, I’ve listened to the FMA episode of the No Context podcast and this happened in the anime. Definitely. Yup.