I. it’s 1 am and i’m sitting on the floor of my room thinking of a love lost to the sea. oh, how cruel can fate be! with its “almost” and “if only” and “in another universe” kinds of tragedy. ones where you are overcome with guilt over the loss of a person who was always meant to leave. it’s death in the form of romance it’s a doom you can’t outrun it’s a crime scene and your fingerprints are on the gun
II. it’s 2 am and it’s snowing outside but the walls keep me warm. i know winter has been knocking on my door asking for love but the question burns in my throat and spreads through my lungs like smoke disguised as air. how can i speak when the words feel like poison in my tongue? for a moment i suspect the blood in my veins is killing me but then i wonder; can a person really die if they‘ve never truly lived?
III. it’s 3 am and my thoughts are lost in your eyes as if they were as vast as the ocean in them. is it the grace of heaven that shines in your skin? or is it an eternal glow of flames within, as they fight to warm a world that has done nothing but welcome the cruelty of the cold? all the flowers dance to your voice and the stars have never known a soul like yours yet you’ve only felt the touch of the moon in me
IV. it’s 4 am and i am drifting to sleep under skies that have fought for our love. i used to blame the galaxies for lessons of loss and loneliness that i refused to learn and they have never once blamed me. they brought light into my life and when the rain flooded the earth it looked a lot like paradise but she had hands to hold and lips to kiss and a heart to beat with mine. and when i smiled at her, you smiled back
V. it’s 5 am and i have surrendered to dreams of you
— phases of an idle february night
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