BathWater AU

Home for my Spongebob AU, BathWater. Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/4259956

[bathwaterau]

I should probably talk about this AU

Since I've already have three fics in the series done and more coming. I'll had more as I write more, as I don't want to spoil anything too soon.

I decided on the name Bathwater for it from the phrase "Don't toss the baby out with the bathwater", basically, don't toss something important or good out just to get rid of one small part thats unwanted. Which basically ends up happening here.

This AU takes place right after the season 6 episode "Gone" and everyone comes back from their National No SpongeBob Day celebrations. Learning that everyone finds him that annoying and irritating that they needed nearly a month away from him was heartbreaking.

To Spongebob, he only wanted to make them happy, but finding out his attempts often did the opposite is devastating, for a number of reasons.

Devastating enough to give him Hanahaki disease. A very severe case that leaves him with 72 hours to decide what to do with it.

[I'm using Hanahaki disease in a platonic love sense for this AU for anyone confused.]

He decides to get the flowers removed, and along with that, his ability to love his friends. If his love for them is what irritates and drives them away, then, in his own reasoning, getting rid of his love for them will make them happy, like he always wanted to do.

Everyone will win.

But love is a very important thing for Sponges. Crucial, in fact. Not being able to love as freely as they naturally do will have. . .side effects.

[bathwaterau]

The perfect frame has arrived

[bathwaterau]

Every in Bikini Bottom: Happy Birthday!!

SpongeBob:

[bathwaterau]

New headcanon

Yeah nowadays sponges do the whole having sex to reproduce thing a lot more often than just budding, but do you think that sometimes when theyre split or blown into pieces and come back together again theres a small possibility that they miss a tiny piece of themselves

And that tiny piece attaches to a secure surface and starts to grow until its baby

Thats one of the older ways to reproduce, having the old fashioned "throw your genetic material into the water snd cross your fingers" method and "budding" mixed into one.

These days that seldom happens. Sponges really careful about not leaving bits of themselves behind, and 9 times out of 10 if they do, nothing happens.

[bathwaterau]

If Breyer met SpongeBobs parents what would they think

I mean

They'd think he was an okay guy.

But they certainly hope SpongeBob doesn't plan on dating him, lol.

Its not because theyre both men or anything, no, its that Breyer seems like too much of a playboy for a serious relationship let alone marriage. The guy is a big flirt, too casual for what they want for their son.

Its nothing personal and if SpongeBob also wants to keep it casual then it's fine whatever enjoy your life, son, but they want SpongeBob to get married someday. Just not to Breyer

Also fun fact every time I play tomodachi life breyer always changes his outfit. Always. I've had miis with the fanshionista trait for longer than him who dont change outfits this much

[bathwaterau]

I know I've said that sponges are extremely durable and difficult to kill, but are there any injuries that are easier or harder for them to recover from than others

Well yes of course

Cutting/impact injuries are the easiest, that basically comes down to literally pulling themselves back together and merging. A healthy sponge, e.g: SpongeBob, can recover from this quickly, in seconds, or minutes at the worst.

I know this feels like an obvious one but traumatic brain injuries are the hardest for sponges to recover from. I know we've see SpongeBobs brain exposed and removed, but I dont believe we've seen it actually damaged, and its stayed intact. It'll take a long time (typically a year to several years) to heal, but they can survive some pretty intense TBIs that would take out other species.

But besides that

Difficult to kill doesnt mean impossible.

Chemicals? It all has to do with their own filtering abilities working against them when exposed to certain ones, more enters their systems initially compared to others, thats one strike. If its certain kinds of chemicals, it can take a long time for it to be filtered back out, leaving it to do some pretty harsh damage that takes them a long time to heal from, especially if its something that inhibits their cells ability to divide and replace themselves. If you can expose them to something really nasty you can disrupt their ability to merge themselves back together, hit or cut them, and they wont be able to come back from that, at least not right away.

But something that harsh would likely be toxic to whoever is using it against them, too, so theyd be shooting themselves in the foot trying to use it.

[bathwaterau]

I think it would be adorable if Sponges were such a social species that the most common first word for their babies isnt 'mama' or 'dada', it's 'hi'

[bathwaterau]

I noted in chapter 3 of Touch (Starved) that PorFlora smells like bubblegum, according to SpongeBob

Then what does SpongeBob smell like according to PorFlora

Citrus

Primarily pineapple, with a hint of a spice she cant pinpoint

I know the common assumption is that he smells like fast food and grease, for obvious reasons, but i headcanon that Sponges are usually sticklers when it comes to cleanliness. Usually. His cousjn Todd is an outlier.

So he knows how to keep himself from smelling like where he works

[bathwaterau]

Maybe sponges are so fond of jellyfish because jellyfish are the only ones in the ocean who've been around just as long as the sponges have

[maxbytes]

every squidbob fic is like *squidward pov* i can't believe that little yellow idiot kissed me and i- i... liked it....? no....no no no this can't be happening. get a hold of yourself squiddy, and stop thinking about that stupid kiss. definitely stop thinking about how soft his lips were! and how you maybe sorta kissed back a little... does this mean i-? dear neptune i must be going insane. no, there's no way i could possibly like.... HIM! .....right?

[bathwaterau]

YESSSS

And dont get me wrong I will devour it each and everytime but rarely does anyone write it solely in SpongeBobs POV. Flipping the dynamic has so much untapped potential

Give me squidbob in which SpongeBob is the one who suddenly realizes "oh shit I like him" and squidward is the one who's like "Yeah I like him but hes too much of an idiot to be in a relationship with, let alone think of things like that"

[bathwaterau]

Guys look at this picture i got commissioned of SpongeBob and Breyer over on twitter, isnt it great? Breyer is perfect, chunky and doofy looking :D

[bathwaterau]

The artist is a storyboard artist. Honestly im extra happy how it turned out because how I drew Breyer was only a little bit different from how he'd look in the shows art style, and im proud of myself for that.

Everything about Breyer makes it look like his family only owns an ice cream business, from his uniform to his name. I didnt mean to name him after an ice cream brand, that was an accident

Maybe i shouldve kept him named Colten

Lmao what if Breyers family owned the Goofy Goobers franchise, is that my new headcanon

[bathwaterau]

Guys look at this picture i got commissioned of SpongeBob and Breyer over on twitter, isnt it great? Breyer is perfect, chunky and doofy looking :D

[bathwaterau]

I remember in your fanfic that Spongebob mentioned beef stroganoff and ham. In your AU, is everything supposed to be assumed vegan? Like how Krabby Patties are actually vegan?

Pretty much, yeah, all vegan.

I tried thinking of like, an underwater equivalent but I couldn't come with anything so just called the dishes by their actual names, but theyre all vegan. They do that in the show so I figured it would be fine. Now how he knows what chicken and beef are in the first place, I havent a clue, lol.

Personally im more interested in the social implications of dishes that contain other sea creatures. There's chum, but (mostly) everyone is repulsed by it. What about a fish fillet, or calamari, or a krab bake. Or a sea food boil, do these dishes get you a life sentence? Is it more acceptable if its a shark that eats other sea creatures?

These are questions I wonder about. But im probably overthinking it

[bathwaterau]

Here i am stressing about drawing an encrusting sponge when PorFlora IS an encrusting sponge.

Parpal Dumplins are encrusting sponges

[bathwaterau]

If Plankton and Karen didn't go to National No SpongeBob Day, but SpongeBob thinks they did, does his hanahaki disease still apply to them?

Its not like saw every single bikini Bottomite when they got off the bus, but it was enough for him to make the blanket assumption about the whole town, so Plankton would be included.

If he learned Plankton didn't go would that change anything?

[bathwaterau]

To PorFlora, Squidward reminds her a little too much of her parents, stuck up, overly posh, putting on a image to impress others (though her parents succeeded)

[bathwaterau]

I wouldn't say Breyer hates Mr Krabs. He just sees him as competition for the cook thst he wants for his own restaurant, its all buisness.

"Its nothing personal, its just that I know a diamond employee when I see them, and you're blocking my view."