BathWater AU

Home for my Spongebob AU, BathWater. Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/4259956

[bathwaterau]

I should probably talk about this AU

Since I've already have three fics in the series done and more coming. I'll had more as I write more, as I don't want to spoil anything too soon.

I decided on the name Bathwater for it from the phrase "Don't toss the baby out with the bathwater", basically, don't toss something important or good out just to get rid of one small part thats unwanted. Which basically ends up happening here.

This AU takes place right after the season 6 episode "Gone" and everyone comes back from their National No SpongeBob Day celebrations. Learning that everyone finds him that annoying and irritating that they needed nearly a month away from him was heartbreaking.

To Spongebob, he only wanted to make them happy, but finding out his attempts often did the opposite is devastating, for a number of reasons.

Devastating enough to give him Hanahaki disease. A very severe case that leaves him with 72 hours to decide what to do with it.

[I'm using Hanahaki disease in a platonic love sense for this AU for anyone confused.]

He decides to get the flowers removed, and along with that, his ability to love his friends. If his love for them is what irritates and drives them away, then, in his own reasoning, getting rid of his love for them will make them happy, like he always wanted to do.

Everyone will win.

But love is a very important thing for Sponges. Crucial, in fact. Not being able to love as freely as they naturally do will have. . .side effects.

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Even if a non sponge were to get permission to step inside and visit the Porforiean Kingdom theyre still banned from going to certain parts or doing certain things.

Mostly to keep them in the dark from how old sponges are and how much more technologically advanced they are. Might give visitors an existential crisis, cant have that

Dude okay headcanon that i dropped or maybe i havent idk, the concept is still interesting to me

Sponges are the reason Starfish are stupid (generally, of course theres exceptions but we're working in generalizations).

Starfish eat Sponges, and it was a huge problem with their earlier, pre Porforiean kingdom settlements being ambushed and half eaten. So Sponges played around with their DNA and made them stupid. Stupid enough to make them forget they eat Sponges at least. That was the only goal, but they kind of overshot with it and now you have them as big dummies.

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The theme song for sponges who suffered hanahaki disease is Hey Ya by Outcast

Specifically for these lines:

If what they say is

"Nothing is forever"

Then what makes, then what makes

Then what makes, then what makes, what makes (what makes, what makes)

Love the exception?

So why, oh, why, oh

Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh

Are we so in denial when we know we're not happy here?

(Y'all don't want to hear me, you just want to dance)

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If Patrick hears SpongeBob calling Breyer his best friend, hes going to crash out lmao

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I know it might seem like im grasping at straws when I say the reason sponges overwhelmingly live in their own kingdom away from other sea creatures is because theyre "too nice and kind", but bear with me here

Bc judging by the bikini Bottomites, other sea creatures are just mean and rude for no reason, they insult and fight off of nothing lets not pretend like they dont 😭 SpongeBob couldn't even have a dream of flying without them teasing and attacking him for it, like bro wtf

And tbh, i think most people have had an interaction with someone who was overly nice and friendly and acts like you're friends when you just met, and it makes you distrust them immediately, I know i have. People assume they have ulterior motives, and granted some do, bc people are people, but some people are genuinely kind, open, friendly, and bubbly like that.

So yeah I don't think its far-fetched to say that its part of the reason other sea creatures dont like Sponges, even if they wont admit it.

Plus their energy levels making them, quote: "Loud. We're loud, we're energetic, high-spirited. . . .But other sea creatures find us difficult to tolerate for long periods of time. They think we're too loud, too energetic, too clingy, too excitable, too destructive, too unpredictable. . .‘cause we know that other sea creatures think we're too much.”

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The others, at times, wish SpongeBob was mad at them. Because thats fixable, thats a problem that can be solved, and easily. The rare times SpongeBob is upset at them its remedied by a good night's sleep and an apology.

But hes not mad at them. He cant be. He's just. . .indifferent to them. He doesn't love them. And thats so much worse since it cant be fixed, whether they try to apologize or provoke, nothing happens. They only get that creepy, unsettling stare from him, if anything at all.

[bathwaterau]

Because Sponges are all about love, Valentines Day is probably a big deal to them. Like Valentines day is basically like their Christmas, its that big of a deal

[bathwaterau]

Okay but can we talk about this line:

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Professional finger painting being a thing for Sponges makes sense when you think about their physiology. They soak up things, so their fingers can be used as brushes after soaking up paint, and they can shape shift their fingers into different brushes for exact purposes, it makes sense

Glad I came up with that

[bathwaterau]

Would Razz and Squidward get along

Maybe

Maybe a little bit, theyre both artists who enjoy being alone, so theres that in common.

Squidward might not take her 'professional finger' painting seriously, being his usually snobby self. Until he sees she gets work and paid for them, even has a few patrons.

Razz wouldnt have much of an opinion on his art. Its mostly self portraits, and while shes done of few of those herself, its meh. Not really her thing. But its obvious why he dont make money from his work; hes not important enough for these self portraits to mean anything to people who buy art. But maybe he just like painting himself and does it for fun, if Razz stopped making money off her art she'd still do it bc she enjoys it.

Razz wouldn't like how he treats SpongeBob, though, he would have to cut that out, thats her buddy.

So yeah, they CAN get along, but the real question is WILL they.

[bathwaterau]

As part of what was cut from Touch starved bc pf reasons stated before was a section where Gus dumps Rosey on SpongeBob and PorFlora for a couple of days. Which he doesn't mind bc hes locked tf in on being a godfather. It was supposed to be an excuse for PorFlora to learn more about sponges and to drop lore on their babies and development. But yeah that made them look too much like a couple walking around with their brand new baby

Would've been hilarious though bc squidward would immediately look up how fast sponges can reproduce bc PorFlora just got there and it looks like the two of them are already multiplying lmaooo

[bathwaterau]

An underrated scene in season one, from the Dutchman treasure hunt episode, towards the end when they dig up the real treasure

Its when SpongeBob stands up to mr keabs when he tried to claim all of it for himself. No hesitation, right to pointing out how that wasn't fair and fighting for his and patricks share of it. I like that.

[bathwaterau]

Razz is definitely one of those Sponges with a low social battery, even before her Hanahaki disease.

She has a lot of friends, though. She might not see them often, but hopping from place to place for inspiration for your next art piece leads to meeting all kinds of people. And adding them on social media. She talks a lot more online than irl.

She prefers to be alone but shes not lonely. Plus it's not like she cant socialize, its just best done with 1 or 2 people.

She just needs naps lol

[bathwaterau]

At least Gary got a lot more attention. I didn't write it bc I couldn't find a spot for it, but PorFlora did give him lots of treats and pets and hugs. She wants a snail so bad but feels guilty about the idea of keeping a snail in a rv boat all the time, what with her travelling. So she got to have fun with her new friends snail. And gary hasn't been getting much attention outside of basic care from SpongeBob lately, so this was nice

[bathwaterau]

There was going to be this whole conversation with SpongeBob, Mr krabs, and Squidward in touch starved, with the two of them questioning his relationship with PorFlora

Obviously it was cut, put too much focus on that and pulled away from the plot. But I might just type it out anyway, lol it was funny to me. Consider it non canon, just me having fun

[bathwaterau]

Headcanon that the jellyfish in jellyfish fields are a type of cannonball jellyfish

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