My sadness blog

Hey, my name is F and i'm a fairly depressed self harming blonde boy with suicidal tendency's. after like 4 years of having this blog I've decided to attach my face to it.

[homealonecryingagain]

[homealonecryingagain]

I feel like my brain deletes the traumatic parts,

That's why I can't remember much from the start,

But I remember December 13,

Cut to my wrists, blood on the phone screen.

Laptop still open,

Elliot Smith,

I wish,

I hadn't spent 20 years leading to this,

Skin turns pale and then to blue,

Eyes still open,

Never to move.

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Just found my ex who was my girlfriend of 2 years on tinder, such a weird feeling.

My heart kind of skipped a beat because I didn't want to even look at pictures of her because of the associated heartache.

To be honest it's made me lock myself in my room and all I want to do is hurt.

[homealonecryingagain]

Here come the ugly emotions again

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And the next girl cheats on me 💔

[homealonecryingagain]

If you don't mind me asking I was just wondering what your chest tattoo says?

Kill your mind from twenty one pilots - migraine "Sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind."

[homealonecryingagain]

"Can we talk later? I want to be happy for a bit."

-Someone I care about

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My dude you are worth so much more than you think, I know how tempting the void is but don't fall down that hole, pull yourself out, your an amazing person and you deserve someone who loves you

I hope so

[homealonecryingagain]

This is the most sad you'll ever see me. This is the face of heartbreak itself. My girlfriend of 2 years ended it with me today on her return from a trip abroad I was kind of in denial and helped her pack. Then we watched TV and I put my arm around her and then I started to cry so she told me she was leaving.

I'm now lying on my floor contemplating so many things.

No I don't look handsome here and no I don't look pretty. This is me in this second.

[homealonecryingagain]

Someone on Tumblr called me pretty so I'm proving them wrong x

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You're really pretty btw x

Aww x

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Hey buddy, I’ve seen your post and I want you to know you’re not alone. I’m going through something similar&& I think we could be there for each other.

Sure x

[homealonecryingagain]

An apology I wrote that meant nothing

I'm sorry I make you upset,

And I know how little these lyrics mean,

But just looking at our pictures together on the screen,

Makes me weak,

Our love has been so passionate,

And it burns like the sun,

I'm so sorry I get depressed,

When you're out tryna have fun,

I'm sorry I'm a burden,

Every time you open up,

Our messages,

Our story,

Lyrics will never be enough,

To show what we went through,

Times that were so hard and so tough,

Finger on the trigger is this time a bluff?

Finger,

Like the middle one,

We lifted them up,

To eachother,

And I can't deal with any other, Girl,

She just wouldn't be enough

With a love song,

Not a sad one,

It's so much easier to say,

And to point out each and every mistake,

I've ever made,

A piss take,

To behave,

The way that I have,

And after the first time,

It took two years to explain how I felt to mum and dad,

But my minds not right,

Shits constantly stuck,

On fight or flight,

And the bitter respite,

Is the moment of silence when I'm not messaging you,

So this time I hope,

This message gets through,

I love you,

I need you,.

My one and only You. ,

[homealonecryingagain]

Can I just fade away or is that against your rules?

[homealonecryingagain]

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Words of encoragment

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Half of the battle is finding the beauty in everything, and everyone.