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#poem #pentameter

“I knew myself there”

Not upwardly frustrated

Not moderating speech,

It’s all around you, out here,

So, so slowly, the day has gone

[DESCRIBE]

Strawberries hemming the horizon,

Crystalline mist, witchy and fey,

Purples, fuchsias, the oranges too,

the farmhouse lost in the knotweed,

Nothing of furniture, nothing there

Yet the beta blockers hitting,

Like a deep armchair by a fire,

But no need! So much light!

Ecstatic, taborian light!

White again? Tanned, actually,

sanding dappled, gnarled and white,

oak beams. The attention to quality,

out here. We become our practice.

[BREATHLY DEEPLY, EXHALE, LOOK AROUND FOR NOVELTY]

Like being five at this,

In the cove of your Leviathan Papou,

Try not to think about the mutability

The universe expanding length

And your imminent nothingness,

though I’m not anti-annihilation of the self per se

#poem #prose poem

Cambrian Event

“No one said it’d be easy” once warbled Chris Martin, (except that his life was relatively comfortable). For something like 3 billion years, it was single-celled organisms all the way. Could a single-celled organism write this sentence? This one? Well, no. But give it 600 million years or so, and we’ll make something amoral and mediocre and anxious from slime. Progress.

Some automatic writing

I gave up on trying to change the squalor, gave up trying to not to do emotional manipulation, gave up trying to change you, your emotional manipulation. Dust, it's okay that nobody provides the ladder. Though it would be a good idea. Sometimes, I do sum time, and it doesn't add. Sobering up on sights I’ve seen a thousand times. How do you do it, keep me high as things fall apart and entropy exists. Even more (de)pressing than the global endgame, its skills race: the local, where black cats en route to the station are more reliable than you, Both of you, never without new thoughts or new drives. Bad parents, really, just bad. Not malevolent, maybe. Just ignorant, duped by the idea of things remaining the same.

People do extreme things to get the world to notice and who wants to exist — with this class distance and unfamiliarity. Orphaned from England, it’s horrific but it’s fine. It’s existence I didn’t ask for: too squeamish to pull — too cowardly to up roots. I guess I have you confused with better people.

And in whose eulogy will I say: those who knew my father knew him. A gambler, a sex fiend, a nobody. But say what you want about non-industrious poor at least they’re not hurting anybody. If only that were true. And to the parent who stayed, they’re not necessarily the virtue, is all. Supportive speech without the acts. I don’t want the acts. I want to be rid of both of you and I can leave whenever I want, can’t I?

#parents #a bad situation #kill me #writing

anthropofugal

“The illusion is irresistible. Behind every face there is a self. We see the signal of consciousness in a gleaming eye and imagine some ethereal space beneath the vault of the skull, lit by shifting patterns of feeling and thought, charged with intention. An essence. But what do we find in that space behind the face, when we look? The brute fact is there is nothing but material substance: flesh and blood and bone and brain…You look down into an open head, watching the brain pulsate, watching the surgeon tug and probe, and you understand with absolute conviction that there is nothing more to it. There’s no one there. — Thomas Metzinger, Being No One”

— (via queertopia)

circulationwithinmyskullblog

“Conventional wisdom has had a pretty bad run these last 15 years. For that reason there is little purpose to trusting it further. Instead it might be better to predict a future based on observable trends rather than scenarios that politicians [promote?]. If those trends convey any information one would expect to see in 2025: 1. The self-destruction of the Muslim Middle East; 2. The rise of ethnic and national politics in Europe; 3. The widespread resurgence of religion and cultural identity as a consequence of (2); 4. Mass expulsions or segregation in large parts of the world to deconflict incompatible communities 5. Everyone packing personal weapons like the Wild West 6. The collapse of multi-ethnic countries into simplified pacts based around of national defense, with most social law generated by local communities and affinity groups; 7. One or more large regional wars with casualties in the tens of millions. 8. Several, possibly many WMD attacks on major cities involving radiological weapons, low yield nukes or biological agents. 8. The collapse of any realistic expectation of Peace on Earth, with the remaining hope of mankind vested in the new space frontier. Such a world would be rough, dangerous and in many places, miserable. Perhaps it will not even be as good as that; for the list above omits the occurrence of an event equivalent to World War 3, in which case we can describe the future with a single word: ruin. But it is the world we are building, absent any change of course. The oddest circumstance is that politicians still pretend without the slightest basis, that if we stay their perverse course we’ll go right through the ruin and out the other side and find the dream we glimpsed as we crossed into the 21st century. […] It’s a condition they call Hope, though there’s another phrase for it: whistling past the graveyard.”

—

Richard Fernandez

Belmont Club

circulationwithinmyskullblog

“…breakdown, impossible to sleep, impossible to stay awake, impossible to endure life, or, more exactly, the course of life. The clocks are not in unison; the inner one runs crazily on at a devilish or demoniac or in any case inhuman pace, the outer one limps along at it usual speed. What else can happen but that the two worlds split apart, and they do split apart, or least clash in a fearful manner.”

— Why write when its all been said and done with such utter precision? One could spend ones life devoted to the art of fine reading, but that becomes a tired act after a certain duration. The scholars life is really a living-death. I imagine heaven is nothing more than a giant lending library. All human knowledge and non-knowledge neatly arranged at your disposal.

literarysasquatch-blog

My view is that the right book has to reach you at the right time, and no person can be reached by every book. Literature is supposed to be beautiful and/or necessary—so if at a given time you don’t either enjoy or need a certain book, then you should read something else, and not feel guilty about it.

elif batuman (via literarysasquatch-blog)

#robertmpirsig

#robertpirsig #zenandtheartofmotorcyclemaintenance

"vernacular virtues"

#poem #no verse #note #Cosmopolitanism #play

Kristin Romey, National Geographic, December 2017

#jesus #jerusalem #church of the holy sepulchre

entirely at odds with the dominant happy-clappy feel-good self-congratulatory work-photograph social media-chuminess, and it feels...ostracising.

#Note

[Untitled]

Using 4 minute videos to feed their confirmation biases,

Indeed indeed,

And they won't give you an inch,

Indeed indeed,

Apex predators pretending to be prey,

who say? Indeed, indeed,

And there's not a selfless one among them,

Indeed, indeed

The asexuals, who hurt you?

No, that's perfectly valid,

Indeed.

#note

#word art #prototype

wydes17

23. Swamp

Note for the 25th

I love you though I don't think I want to possess you. I'm not the kind to tell you what you want to hear, although, of course, truth almost always need to be diluted with -- well, massaged. I need you. I've lost you (It hurts, doesn't it?) How can you lose something you never had? Callow youth, callow, pretentious, portentous youth. It's like a musical machine, some kind of studio mixer, this analogy. You might get a hug in certain circumstances but dial those switches, make the drum machines and synths of pleasant wit, trust, and that magic musical formula play on, and you might see more flourishing. This analogy needs work, clearly. I'm very tired. More writing for 2018, more learning, development, and learning about learning. I've lost you. Make music, more melody and anagnorisis flow from the logos and see things happen.

#note

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