V.

31, 𝕮𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖆 | hi, welcome to my buuuushit 👋

[honey-viii]

I literally don’t know who to talk to right now.

I am just so anxious and so tired and I just feel so defeated

[honey-viii]

hello, tumblr☀️

Things that are not new: I am tired & nights are spent tossing and turning 💤

Things that are new:

IM PREGNANT 😭❤️

Currently sitting at 16 weeks! And what a LONG 16 weeks it has been lol we have literally known since “week 3”! I’ve had a couple months to process this now but those months were also spent praying and staying hopeful that we make it past the first trimester. I know anything can happen still… but I think we are finally allowing ourselves to be excited and happy about it!

Scared because this is everything I’ve ever wanted… I just really can’t believe it 🥹

Well that’s the update for now!

I was telling Brandon the other day that I kinda miss being able to refer back to tumblr whenever I wanted to reminisce. It was always nice to have a little record, dated and all, of my life… the good, the bad, the life changing moments…

Well back to work! Counting down the days until I can go on mat leave ⏰

[honey-viii]

It’s been awhile….

I can’t sleep so here we are…

Alive, and hopeful 💙

[honey-viii]

Ummmm so my husband is not a reader. 1000% a certified book hater ok. I recently, unfortunately, got into the ACOTAR series…accidentally entering my reading girl era, and devoured the series. finishing up the last book tonight FOR SURE but I have beeen GUSHING details to Brandon all week about the other 4— telling him the chats we would have over this book would be NEXT LVL. (Ive already gotten him into trash tv so we can talk about it). Today he came home from work and told me he’s thinking about starting it and I am…. Yes. 👏 i am excited 😭

[honey-viii]

concessions, though tacit, are still concessions.

[daisysky323-deactivated20241130]

[honey-viii]

ugh life is hard

I still appreciate ✨ all the things ✨

Just feeling overwhelmed for what’s to come

But we press on…

[honey-viii]

You have to try.

[honey-viii]

I hate that I’m most productive only at the start or the end of the day but never in between.

On a related note, I can’t keep living like this…

Will things change? They’re going to have to.

This has been my vague update ✌️

[honey-viii]

Umm as if we didn’t have an endless to do list…I decided to introduce my husband to league lol i just knew he would enjoy it AND pick it up quick

The addiction is so real

[honey-viii]

Hi, good morning ⛅️

Still alive and currently in my “do something about it” phase…

So that means back on bullshit with meal prepping and trying trying to workout consistently..

I am the HEAVIEST I have ever begin in my entire vida and I feel like I barely was establishing my confidence and routine in 2015-2017 when … the break up of 2018, Covid 2020, home remodeling 2020 (still in the works) , wedding planning 2022, actually wedding 2023, and the new job 2022 all hit me. I’ve said this before but I feel like I live and have lived in a constant constant state of stress. My sister in laws husband (my bro in law too? Or?) had mentioned my cortisol might be high and all out of wack which could make losing weight and managing life all the more difficult.

So just trying to prioritize taking care of myself a little more. Coming to you live from my elliptical. Planning to get my workout & nutrients in and then get to work. I find myself more productive when I start my days this way. I just want to not feel so in the way, so uncomfortable in my body, so.. idk down? I just feel like Brandon also deserves the best version of me and he’s not getting that right now :(

Life lately though…

Well I passed training & probation for work but the first yr out, there’s still a learning curve because they essentially have you do a bunch of things that weren’t taught during training 🫠 so not out of the woods just yet. Which is definitely adding stress but at this point, I’m not willing to sacrifice my weekends and nights over this. Take me or don’t and I’ll worry about it from there

Last update for now… this was supposed to be our year of fun and traveling before we start trying🤰but with the way I like to plan and be prepared, I think I’m willing to give up a lot of that to just feel the security in knowing our home is done and ready and our rental is all fixed up. I would rather invest money in making our current home a vibe than splurge on other things . I think Brandon feels the same way. So maybe maybe no more “last festival” and stuff. But we shall see…

Well that’s it for now. My life is chaotic as always but ummm, I’m doing my best

Hope you’re all well 🤍

[honey-viii]

I feel like a disease…

[citizencosmos]

Jade Bern

[thingsiwant-nl]

[honey-viii]

Everyone from my boss to my coworkers telling me to trust my judgment …but my judgment is telling me to not trust myself 🤡

[ruminaty]

[honey-viii]

I am so grateful for all things. Truly a lucky girl ✨🙏