pastelpinkwhale 186818 @honeyb33baby - Tumblr Blog

Posts

sparrowlucero

more little tea kettle dragons

available on my kofi as adoptables

lleyksie

more ancient horse mamaposting

doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

the-moonbug

No one seems to be acknowledging the far funnier element of this, which is, that when you go to the commenter’s account, you find out they are actually fucking roleplaying as a sexually repressed skeleton and jjst really committed to the bit while everyone in the reblogs is talking about how much they hate minors or trying to bring back asexual discourse or whatever. thank you kharak the skeleton servant of the almighty lich king

slytherverse

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

slytherverse

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

slytherverse

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

slytherverse

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

slytherverse

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

slytherverse

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

slytherverse

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

slytherverse

guys i cant take it anymore

slytherverse

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

thanks to tumblr the phrase "loyal eunuch" has entered my vocabulary and is being applied egregiously. phone got lost in the bedsheets and I murmured, instinctively, beloved eunuch where arst thou?

out loud. to my fucking phone. you people did this to me

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

crayfishcraig

Well topologically or perhaps anatomically speaking

Ever since they got rid of the headphone port it’s more of a cloaca

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

gotta spread your booty cheeks just to scan u

flyin-shark

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

felixcloud6288

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

flyin-shark

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

strangehorse

he understands the website your honour

soberscientistlife

littledoggy-girlcollar

some of you have GOT to get comfortable with lying and situational morality and i'm not kidding

pencilcat

nicolethered

FYI iPhone users!

demonicae

Oh... oh that's disgusting.

cryoverkiltmilk

For emphasis - YOU HAVE TO TURN THIS OFF FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL APP

m-a-salter

You can get to all these faster (marginally) by going to Settings > Siri > Apps.

anartisticdreamer0

not my usual stuff but remember:

if/when tiktok comes back,

it is not the same place. it is not the same. and most importantly do NOT under any circumstances forget that The Tangerine was the one who wanted it banned in the first place and he is no savior, he, like everyone else in government, is doing what benefits him.

DO NOT FORGET THIS.

pick up the patterns, look at history.

l3irdl3rain

sleeby….

l3irdl3rain

guys I promise he has teeth

sexhaver

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

fernthefanciful

Like to charge, reblog to cast

zenithsnake

"We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned!" how about you go fuck yourself

ratcarney

TUMBLR 101: a helpful guide for tiktok refugees

are YOU a former tiktok user trying to learn how to use tumblr to fill the void the american tiktok ban is leaving in your soul? here are some things you should know, from someone who’s going on their eighth year on this hellsite:

1. you can say anything on here. gone are the days of having to use words like “unalive” and “seggs.” murder! kill! sex! fuck! speak your mind!

2. there is a community for you on here. regardless of what you’re into or however small the fandom is, you have a place here. at least one other person will have heard of your weird obscure interest. strike up a conversation!

3. followers don’t matter. tumblr is one of the last remaining social media sites in which your number of followers means absolute jack shit. this can be disorienting at first, but once you lean into the fact that everyone on this website is equal, it’s very freeing. clout means nothing here.

4. similarly, you can post at any time. while tiktok has an algorithm that favors certain times, tumblr has no such algorithm. post whatever you want, whenever you want. every post has virtually the same chance at getting notes, regardless of when it is posted.

5. tags can have spaces between the words! this one is very exciting. tags can be a whole sentence. you can also use the tags to comment on someone’s post without actually adding onto the physical post itself (which is sometimes frowned upon and called “derailing” if you use this feature to bring up a completely different point other than the one that’s being made on the original post).

TL;DR: speak your mind, find your place, followers don’t matter, post anytime, have fun with tags!! tumblr is a wonderful site used to share things you’re excited about. be patient with yourself as you’re learning and have fun!