Sweet as Marilyn, Cold as Cleopatra
****Long post alert***. This is primarily for the asks rotting in my inbox for months. Apologies! I have been MIA from Tumblr and the bowl for a while now (sick). Anyway, the title of this post pays homage to two seductresses I admire a lot. My sugar daddies who have been great mentors. The horrible men Iāve dated who have equally taught me a lot. And Robert Greene (author of Art of Seduction and Mastery. Great books. READ them!),You become a master by observing first. Analyze. Learn. Practice. Experiment. Apply. Transform. Ā "When you learn the rules, you can dominate".
Lesson 1: Seduction is more psychological than physical. The physical aspect of it is important as well. Thatās itās own category. But when you understand what your sugar daddy truly wants, you can (dare I say, ) āmanipulateā him better. Anyone can be seductive. From skinny to bbw to medium size to giant scar on your forehead. You can succeed as a sugar baby. You just have to understand how to play the game and yes, I do think itās all a game. So next time your sugar daddy yaps about his robust, lazy wife who may or may not be fucking the foreign gardener and spends 9 hours at the country club; and his cocaine addicted son at Harvard, LISTEN. He wants a shoulder, so be that. The key here is to show that support, care, and understanding but at the same time, donāt tangle yourself in the drama that you become his on-call therapist. Donāt call him at 10pm at night to check up on him. Unless heās willing to pay you $800 per hour. When you understand what a person wants/how their mind operates, you can cater to their needs/deal with them better. OBSERVE. When you master psychological seduction, you will be well on your way.
Lesson 2: Be mysterious/intriguing. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were a fetus, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, at least in the initial stages. If you dropped out of college when you were still in the womb, keep it to yourself. When you reveal too much of yourself, you tire/bore people and eventually become forgettable. Everyone has a story. So save your sob story and ex boyfriend drama for the struggling author down the street who has been having writerās block for the past 15 years.Ā What does Cleopatra,Marilyn Monroe, and Casanova all have in common? Mystery/leaving something to the imagination. These women/man armed themselves with an air of mystery that left those in their wake yearning for more. Iāve never seen Angelina Jolie as one of the most beautiful women on earth. But man thereās something about her that makes Hollywood go crazy. She shares bits of herself and her life but thereās always that edge of mystery. She leaves you wondering whatās going on behind the *is it fake or is it not fake* lips/smile. The key is timing. Donāt share too much. Ā Keep them guessing. No need for your sugar daddy or pot to know what cards you have up your sleeves. By sharing too much, you make yourself seem needy and DESPERATE. No bueno.
Lesson 3: Donāt always be available. I used to make this mistake, especially when I liked a guy. Never lasted long in my opinion. So I learned and changed tactics and mannnnn things definitely changed. Sometimes, saying NO works more in your favor. I donāt care if youāre bored out of your mind at home and counting the cobwebs on your ceiling. An occasional NO will put a sugar daddy in his place. It will tell him that youāre not at his beck and call. It will also tell him that you have other priorities outside of sugaring. Your life/time does not revolve around him. If heās that interested in you, trust me, he will reschedule and work with you. Donāt turn into Mrs.NO to Everything but learn how to use it when applicable. This ties in a bit with mystery. When you say no and he asks what your plans for the day are, cultivate a story if you donāt have legit plans! You can say that youāre going on a short getaway with a group of girlfriends, going on a spa treatment for yourself only, etc. The key here is to appear that you have a fun, adventurous life outside. Your time is PRECIOUS.
Lesson 3.5: Create respectable distance.Ā This ties in with 3. By creating respectable distance, you are again putting a sugar daddy in his place. You need space because you have a life. It will command his respect. The thing about a lot of men is that they loveeee a challenge. Especially wealthy men, who are used to having whatever they desire. By giving him what he wants, whenever he wants it, he will exploit that and before you know it, he will detach and disappear (which a lot of guys do). When you challenge him, it will drive him crazy. It will keep him on edge. He will come back for more. So treat yourself like a rare gem. There are vultures out here. So when you play into his wishes easily, wellā¦ easy come, easy goes.And before they go, they will devour you completely. When you allow him to insert himself in every aspect of your life, he will probably take advantage of you. The key here is to create enough distance that heāll keep wondering about you but not so much that he completely forgets you. This can be tricky but it is not impossible.
Lesson 4: Confidence.Ā Iām one of those people who believe that while some have innate confidence, others have to learn it. So if need be, LEARN confidence. It takes time and patience. Trial/error. Note what your shortcomings are and practice on bettering yourself. It could range from repeating daily mantras to yourself to changing a specific look about you, practice! practice! Note what your strengths are and USE it to your advantage. Again practice! Ā Marilyn Monroe wasnāt always a sultry, seductress. In fact, from her appearance, her voice, her make-up, to her persona, she had to practice it all to master it, especially in public. It took her years, but she eventually morphed into one of the most iconic seductresses of all time.
Lesson 5: Be bold/ assertive.Ā There is a fine line between boldness/assertiveness and Mrs.Yes. It is okay to voice your interests, opinions, dislikes, etc. It is equally okay to disagree with something your sugar daddy says/wants. The key is to do it respectfully. Donāt try so hard to please him that you agree to everything (including things that make you uncomfortable). If he wants you to have sex with his bald, hairy micro-human friend from the country club and the idea makes your vagina retract in disgust, SPEAK UP. Donāt be Mrs. Yes because it can be dangerous to you. Plus you will give him the upper hand.
Lesson 6: Be playful. You donāt have to be serious 24/7.Ā Make effective use of body language by using eye contact, touch, smiling, etc.Position your posture in such a way that you appear comfortable but not slouching. Engage him in fun activities sometimes. Show him what you enjoy doing/try to learn what he enjoys as well. I remember when I first took my sugar daddy to a rave. He was soooo out of place with his expensive ass suit but we had such a good laugh. It was fun. It is also okay to flirt and tease but do not over do it. . If he tells you of his former beauty queen ex wife who divorced him, took half his wealth, and got full custody of the kids, it will NOT be a good time to start flirting then or batting your eye lashes. The key is to know when to be playful and when to engage in a serious conversation with him.
Lesson 7: Stroke his ego occasionally, especially when heās a good boy. Let him know you enjoy his company, his time, what he gives you, etc. Itās tough to balance but you donāt want to seem like you canāt do without the lifestyle he grants you. Remember, you are accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. Men like feeling like protectors, especially wealthy men. So stroke that big fat ego and let him think it. When he misbehaves, adjust accordingly.Ā
Lesson 8: If all else fails, create/channel an alter-ego. It sounds somewhat extreme but I have one. I created a whole new persona for myself. When I first started out four plus years ago, I appeared too innocent. And that was my biggest weakness. My naivete showed and definitely I was taken advantage of and cheated but I learned. FAST. Soon after, I stopped telling men I was inexperienced. I stopped allowing myself to appear innocent. I became a chameleon.The person I am with sugar daddies/ on pot dates is completely different from the girl I am at home/school/work/with friends. With these men, I am a worldly, experienced WOMAN. I am used to ultra-luxury and deserve nothing but the best. Of course at home/elsewhere, I am a girl/ nursing student who studies a bit too much, curses a bit too much, enjoys being wild with friends and plans on attending medical school to become a psychiatrist. Find what works for you and channel her. We all have inner goddesses and seductresses in us.Ā
Lesson 9: āBe nice, be nice. Until itās time to stop being niceā¦"Ā Okay, this sounds psycho meets fatal-attraction-esque but no worries! know when to curse a Ā pompous, disrespectful son of a bitch out. Seriously, know when to walk away. Channel your inner Cleopatra/Bitchery and crush his ass.Ā Do not be afraid to stomp an arrogant asshole out of existence (figuratively of course).Ā I donāt care but no amount of money is worth being disrespected. If you allow a man to disrespect and treat you like a common commodity, he will not stick around for long. He will use, abuse, and break you. And frankly, You DO NOT deserve that. If he calls you a racial slur ( and claims itās a joke, LIES), forces himself on you, disrespects you in anyway hurtful and dehumanizing, among other things, WALK THE FUCK AWAY and report the incident to authorities if the action warrants it. And let your middle finger do the rest of the talking.Ā
**All in all, I hope this helps someone out here. Remember, what works for one person make not work for you. But you can still learn from others around you** And that my friends, is the most important lesson of all.
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