Lee kaveh headcanons (with some relevant but indulgent ler sumeru headcanons) to quench the thirst of you fucking dweebs on your loser app
-consistency is predictable, and consistency is boring. Consistency, more than anything, is EASY.
-kaveh is given no such thing.
-alhaitham doesn't switch spots very sporadically. He has reason, there's a method to his madness. He usually just goes for the universal "default" spot, that being sides. It's just the easiest to latch onto, and already basically at hand level. However, "I wonder what he'll do if I try THIS?" is not an uncommon thought for him to have. As a self-respecting scholar, it is his responsibility to test every spot and method that he can.
-alhaitham is very deadpan. Obviously entertained by this, but very deadpan. He will not often crack a smile, but you can see the amusement in his eyes. He teases by stating things in such a deadpan voice that one could only interpret them as casual observations, if they weren't so OBVIOUSLY meant to rile kaveh up (he also does this so goddamn much canonically, it's funny as fuck).
-it gets to kaveh way too much how clinical alhaitham is about the whole affair. He acts as if it's an academic case study. The absurdity of this dissonance is unbearable. Alhaitham is skilled at his craft. Alhaitham is uncannily skilled at getting to kaveh in any scenario- this one is not different.
-keeps a pretty consistent pressure unless he's trying something. In the medium of firm and light, a tiny bit on the lighter side. He is a scribe, after all. His hands are efficient and skilled by nature, and the almost slightly swoopy technique he uses to write is reflected in this
-kaveh is absolutely fucking done with this man
-this is dumb as fuck but I imagine alhaitham absolutely fucking kaveh's shit up and casually while kaveh is like hysterical giggling alhaitham just says "clearly you don't own an airfryer." in that serious smug tone
-anyways, kaveh doesn't get to get used to alhaitham's unbearable methods!
-because faruzan is the big sister of everyone in sumeru, and she is a mythic bitch about this particular thing that she does. To kaveh. (I'm starting to feel like the coherency of my writing is suffering greatly from my complete avoidance of even insinuating the t word, much less saying it. If you get confused too bad such a thing would never happen to me and therefore cope I suppose)
-faruzan is very much the type to just do sharp scribbles in one spot really fast before moving on the the next and doing the same over and over. She will act very indignant, and make comments about how rude he is for laughing at her. He needs to respect his elders.
-Layla is much shyer, and is like, unbearably light with it. Which ends up being kind of nice unbearable, especially because of those claw covers she has on her fingers. She's very sweet.
-her teasing is mostly unintentional. She'll giggle along with him and comment on how nice his laugh is shyly. She's just trying to be nice, bless her. She gets a bit flustered by it, but she understands needing emotional catharsis as much as anyone, and is willing to overcome that because it clearly gives kaveh a huge serotonin burst and lowkey her as well.
-Tighnari likes to pretend he's exasperated sometimes when he does it, but it's always a sort of joke they're both in on. He's very fond, and it's easy to see in his face. His claws are weapons of mass destruction and a good incentive for teyvat to implement a Geneva convention (so that the fatui can immediately violate every rule on there like it's a bucket list)
-Cyno is the opposite. He's goofy through and through. Not the hyuck guy. He has never been the hyuck guy. Do not sue me Disney. Steamboat Willie says acab.
-anyways Cyno gets a bit quirked up with the sauce. He'll tell his shitty jokes and then be like "see? I knew you found them funny!"
-Cyno and Tighnari are double trouble, but also double argument. They will banter with each other the whole time they're. Interacting. With kaveh. That sounded like an innuendo. I promise it is not. Genshin impact has not yet implemented gay sex. Hopefully they get around to that in natlan. It really breaks my immersion.
-wanderer is just mean about it, end of story. He's literally the worst. Ruthless, ruthless motherfucker
-nahida is very soft and gentle, and has lots of words of affirmation and compliments. Her sincerity is palpable and she's very sweet
-collei mostly just watches from the sidelines when Cyno and Tighnari fuck shit up. She's wary of touch, but when she's in control she's okay with it. If she ever cautiously decides to participate, kaveh will try not to squirm. Even Cyno and Tighnari will ease up a ton so that he doesn't squirm too much. The entirety of sumeru is constantly in kahoots to help collei grow and be more comfortable with shit, so kaveh (and byproxy Cyno and Tighnari) have half a mind to immediately become a million times more conscious and careful of their actions and reactions because collei is being brave enough to participate in a physical bonding activity and they want to make sure they reinforce that positively
-Dehya can and will laugh at him. She's also got claws, so I guess genshin's character design team just fucking hates kaveh or something
-dunyarzad might sit on the sidelines and giggle and commentate, casually conversing with Dehya about what's happening. The conversations are definitely meant to tease, so really they're just being tools and having fun with him by acting all casual
-Candace is more of a "hold his arms up" kind of person than actually commenting much or getting in on the action, but she's also very careful. Also there with a quick slip of a hand behind his head right before it smacks into something, or quickly righting him when she sees he's about to fall off of a chair- which she will always, and I mean always see before anyone else. She's just here to make sure nobody dies. Also to be the occasional "...I think maybe you should take a pause. You're going to kill him at this rate." If whoever is getting him isn't easing up- it's usually not really needed, but better safe than sorry
-Nilou won't do it for long (until she is oh so kindly informed that kaveh is a huge softie for it) out of politeness of peoples boundaries. She'll laugh along because she thinks it's sweet. In the nahida and Layla category of just being a sweetheart about it, but she can have a mischievous streak. Never doubt that. She's content to sit by dunyarzad and participate in the banter with dehya and her. They have fun
-Dori is a shit about it, as she is with everything
-"well, can't have my favorite client sad!"
-she's a little bitch but she's fond enough of kaveh. He has a way of tripping and falling directly into people's hearts just by being himself
-it wouldn't be super consistent or anything, but she thinks it's funny enough to occasionally do it. Definitely would sneak pokes just to snicker at the various noises kaveh would make.
-kaveh has the most trouble with genuinely sweet comments and compliments, mostly because he just like genuinely loves them. So much. He can't really hide it because the moment someone says something sweet or affectionate or even mildly complimentary he will just melt. Absolutely nerfed. Like a Zelda boss weak spot.
-alhaitham notices this and considers doing it to fuck with kaveh.
-the result is not what he expects. By that, one means that alhaitham feels feelings about it. Kaveh is just very cute and flustered and soft about it, and alhaitham is used to an argumentative kaveh.
-alhaitham's teasing is usually meant to inflame kaveh, so he's used to expecting kaveh to go red in the face and snap out some variation of "shut up"
-he is not, however, prepared for kaveh's cheeks to instead flush an extremely pleasant rosy pink
-and, instead of the usual flustered, argumentative snapping back, like he does in arguments, for him to just go pliant. His laughs get a little bit breathier and giddy
-alhaitham was not prepared for this
-one has to worry if he may become a man addicted
-kaveh has IMMENSE trouble accepting compliments. A great many of his friends have taken to 'persuading' him of his merits through 'other means'.
-anyways kaveh is insecure about everything because he's kaveh
-his gigantic fucking found family in sumeru are not having it and frankly find it preposterous
-back (between his shoulder blades), wrists, sides, hips. Ribs, but the higher and lower ones are worse, the ones in the middle aren't as bad. Behind his ears isn't too bad, but will incapacitate him HARD. Even more so is the spot where his neck meets the very bottom of his hairline
-confused on why alhaitham would participate in such a childish activity so contrary to his normal personality. Decides it's because alhaitham can (and does) use it to win arguments or get kaveh to agree with him, let him have it his way, or do something he refuses to.
-that's a much smaller part of the appeal to alhaitham than kaveh might think.
-his smile is kind of crooked and lopsided and dorky and the corner of his lip quirks up
-very wobbly smile, nose scrunches and eyes do too.
-subconsciously hugs himself to stop himself from fighting back
-doesn't realize literally everyone who does it to him notices
-very much doesn't realize the correct deductions they draw from that.
Anyways eat up you fucking horses
I’m gonna ascend to godhood I’m in SUCH a bad mood and these sent me to SPACE
HIPEFULLY THIS IMAGE LOADS
GEnsin fans come get y’all juice
