→ other stuff: chronically ill ☆ suspected neuro divergent ☆ currently studying creative writing
My Favorites:
→ shows/movies: criminal minds, stranger things, supernatural, dharma & greg, alexa & katie, monsters inc, the princess bride, hot air, peanuts, twilight, harry potter, christopher robin
→ characters: spencer reid, penelope garcia, steve harrington, robin buckley, max mayfield, sam winchester, dharma montgomery, greg montgomery, alexa mendoza, sulley, westley, buttercup, lesley smith juniment, woodstock, snoopy, alice cullen, seth clearwater, winnie the pooh
→ music: one direction, niall horan, harry styles, noah kahan, blake rose, taylor swift, hozier, sabrina carpenter, five seconds of summer, bts, lewis capaldi, julia michaels, phoebe bridgers
→ romantic ships: spencelle/reidaway, hotchniss, demily, garvez, dharma x greg, spenlexa, buttercup x westley, lesley x summer, jalice
→ interests: novel writing, screenwriting, acting, fashion, baking, listening to music, watching new shows + movies
About This Blog:
→ who i will write for: steve harrington, eddie munson, billy hargrove, jonathan byers (i may branch out in the future, these are just the ones i feel comfortable and confident writing right now!)
→ things i will write: fluff, angst, somewhat suggestive content (never full smut), hurt/comfort, pretty much any genre you can think of
→ things i won't write: character x character (just because i don't really have anything i ship enough to want to write fics for it), kids x reader, full on smut (you can redirect these requests to my nsfw blog @hornyhornyhimbos), self harm, anything non-consentual
Links and Such:
→ main blog: @ofwilliamandwalter
→ fanfiction recs blog: @paperbackprettyboy
→ icons blog (inactive): @scrapbookspence
-> nsfw blog: @hornyhornyhimbos
→ beta reader signups: linked here!
→ masterlist: linked here!
→ current pfp: these icons by @ilovegilmoregirls
→ header image: pinterest
→ navigation images: pinterest
→ navigation dividers: these dividers by @firefly-graphics
-> masterlist icon: these icons by @peachy-ash
-> masterlist images: pinterest
-> masterlist dividers: these dividers by @anlian-aishang
Tags:
-> steve reblogs - #steve 🫶🏻
-> eddie reblogs - #eddie 🎸
-> robin reblogs - #robin 🍦
-> chrissy reblogs - #chrissy 📣
-> nancy reblogs - #nancy 👒
-> jonathan reblogs - #jonathan 📸
-> argyle reblogs - #argyle 🍕
-> dustin reblogs - #dustin 🤖
-> mike reblogs - #mike 🕹
-> lucas reblogs - #lucas 🏀
-> max reblogs - #max 🛹
-> el reblogs - #el 🧇
-> hopper reblogs - #hopper 🚓
-> vecna reblogs - #vecnussy 🥀 (why do i have this tag)
Hello, lovely people! Long time no see! As you can see, I have been a little bit of a busy bee. I have had this under my belt for quite a while, and I'm glad it's finally time to put it into the world!
Also, I know what you're wondering... more fics are coming (hopefully) soon! I will make a post explaining my hiatus soon.
All of this being said, I wish you a warm welcome to Reidsaurora's Postal Service!
What are the rules?
1. First come, first served.
Since this is more of a trial run, I will only be taking orders from the first 15 people to fill out the form. Or the first however many fill it out if this doesn't go as well as I hope 🤣
2. Must be in the U.S.
I hope eventually if this takes off the way I hope it will, that I can expand outside of the US. But for now, I will only be taking orders from my fellow American babes. ❤️
3. You must be comfortable with giving me your address.
Since this is a postal service, I'll need somewhere to send your goodies!
4. All sales will be done through Venmo/Cashapp.
I unfortunately do not have the resources to do this through debit/credit cards yet, so for now, all sales will be done through Venmo or Cashapp. Whichever you as the customer prefer! (Once I have received your order, I will DM you my Cashapp/Venmo username so you know where to send your money!)
5. You must fill out the Google form.
This form will go through all the specifics and things in a better order than this post or through DMs. However, if you do have any questions about your order, you can always DM me or send me an ask!
What is "Reidsaurora's Postal Service" In The First Place?
The people I'm closest with know there are two things in this world that make me truly happy: writing pen pal letters and being in fandoms. So, a while ago, I attempted to figure out how I could combine these two things together, and this is what was created!
The best way to describe this business is like this: imagine if you could get a pen pal letter from your favorite character. Or imagine if your favorite character could write you a letter confessing their love to you.
And I know what you're probably wondering: "Emmy, what the heck is this?" and that's a valid question. For now, it's just a way for me to make some extra cash over the summer, as I am going on vacation soon and starting cosmetology school when I get back home!
What are the prices of this business?
If this trial run goes well, the prices may change, but for now, the prices are:
$21 - one 300 to 400 word count, handwritten letter from your character on notebook paper + your choice of a printed playlist from your character or a physical photo from your character.
$22 - one 700 to 800 word count, handwritten letter from your character on notebook paper + your choice of a printed playlist from your character or a physical photo from your character.
$23 - one 300 to 400 word count, handwritten letter from your character on tea stained paper + your choice of a printed playlist from your character or a physical photo from your character.
$24 - one 700 to 800 word count, handwritten letter from your character on tea stained paper + your choice of a printed playlist from your character or a physical photo from your character.
For an additional $1 each, you can add an extra photo card or playlist card to any purchase.
All purchases will come with a printed playlist or a photo card, just to help me out with weight limits on shipping!
Picking Out Your Letter!
1. What will be the theme of your letter?
Is this for a birthday? Is your character away at college or camp and writing back home? What scenario are you imagining? Some extra examples could be:
A letter from your character, who is your secret admirer
A letter from your character cheering you up when you feel down
A letter from your character congratulating you on a new life experience
These letters aren't just from romantic partners! Your letter can be from your best friend, your sibling, your parent, etc.
2. What are some things to know about you? (Or the recipient)
Do you have a favorite color or food? Or maybe you wanna tell me about your personality? Some extra examples could be:
Your favorites (color, snacks, flower, song, band, etc.)
A nickname that the character calls you
Your hobbies
3. What character will this letter be from?
Below is a list of all the fandoms and characters I will write for! But other characters from these fandoms may be available upon request!
Criminal Minds:
All members of the BAU (from S1 to S15)
Will Lamontagne Jr.
Sean Hotchner
Stranger Things:
Steve Harrington
Eddie Munson
Jonathan Byers
Billy Hargrove
Argyle
Robin Buckley
Nancy Wheeler
Joyce Byers
Jim Hopper
Shameless US:
Fiona Gallagher
Lip Gallagher
Ian Gallagher
Debbie Gallagher
Carl Gallagher
Kevin Ball
Mandy Milkovich
Mickey Milkovich
The Bear:
Carmen Berzatto
Natalie Berzatto
Michael Berzatto
Richie Jerimovich
Sydney Adamu
Claire Dunlap
Chef Luca
Marcus Brooks
Neil Fak
Supernatural:
Sam Winchester
Dean Winchester
Castiel
Jack Kline
Daisy Jones & The Six
Daisy Jones
Billy Dunne
Graham Dunne
Warren Rojas
Eddie Roundtree
Camila Dunne
Others:
Gator Tillman (Fargo)
Baron Lamram (Marmalade)
Walter "Keys" McKey (Free Guy)
Lesley Smith-Juniment (Hot Air)
4. What color would you like for your wax seal?
All of these letters will come with a wax seal. Below are the shapes and colors available for yours!
To close, this business wouldn't be possible without thanking a couple of people!
Huge shoutout to @dungeons-are-too-cold @vivi-in-the-sky-with-diamonds and @theghouligan for listening to me ramble and ask a million questions. I am so grateful for all of you!! ❤️
Huge shoutout to all my mutuals! You are all so special to me! @butchersprophet @reidsbookclub @broken-stardust @sadgirlml @serenity-lattes @writer-in-theory @ssahotchnerr @writingquillsandpainpills @gay-prentiss and all of the others! ❤️
And lastly, of course, thank you to you, my lovely auroras! None of this would be possible without any of your love and support. I am so so grateful for all of you! I can't believe there's over 1700 of you now 🥹
Summary: A dual timeline series about Y/N Byers, a part-time barista/student and full-time mother, and Steve Harrington, a quippy but attractive nursing student, and the game she creates in order for him to score a date with her.
Series Word Count: TBD
Series Warnings: in-depth details about teen pregnancy and its symptoms, in-depth talk about absent fathers and shitty men, details of earthquakes, mentions of hospitals/medical talk, food talk.
⚠️ PLEASE CHECK INDIVIDUAL CHAPTER WARNINGS BEFORE READING ⚠️
lil sneak peak snippet can be found here! ☺️
Part One: "Double Shot" ~ 1.8K words
Summary: (Then) In the small town of Hawkins, Indiana lies the Byers family, a family of four who might just be gaining a fifth member of the family. — (Now) Brew and Me, known for its punny motto and delicious coffee, might soon be known for bringing people together in unexpected ways.
Content Warning: teen pregnancy, small mention of abortion, vomit/morning sickness talk, mild swearing, mentions of food, mentions of medical-related things (not detailed, just mentioned)
POSTED ON: December 3rd, 2023
Part Two: "Déjà Brew" ~ 2.1K words
Summary: (Then) Back in Hawkins, Reader is still reeling from the news she's just received. Turns out, sometimes the love of a mother might just be the very help you need when times are tough. — (Now) At Brew and Me, Reader struggles with the stress of motherhood and working. Turns out, a visit from her least favorite patron might be the thing she needs to cheer her up.
Content Warning: teen pregnancy, mentions of food, mentions of medical-related things, small mention of childhood cancer (not related to any of the main characters in this series)
POSTED ON: December 3rd, 2023
Part Three: "Spilled Milk" ~ 2.5K words
Summary: (Then) Morning sickness has finally caught up to Reader, and unfortunately it has her spilling her guts in more than one way. — (Now) When Steve brings his roommate along with him to the coffee shop, the situation soon goes south when his friend starts to spill Steve's not-so-secret crush to a certain barista.
Content Warning: teen pregnancy, vomit/morning sickness talk, mentions of food, very mild swearing
POSTED ON: December 10th, 2023
Part Four: "Macchiat- Oh No..." ~ 2.4K words
Summary: (Then) Back in Hawkins, the time has come for Reader to break the news to her boyfriend… only, he doesn't take it as well as she'd hoped. — (Now) When Steve stops by for his daily coffee, things take a sour turn when his ex-girlfriend walks in.
Content Warning: teen pregnancy, mentions of vomit, adoption/abortion talk, mild swearing, Reader slaps and hits Jason, food consumption (Reader and Steve share a cookie), Jason is sorta out of character
POSTED ON: December 25th, 2023
Part Five: "Seasonal Specials" ~ 1.9K words
Summary: (Then) Christmas Eve has rolled around, and unfortunately for a very pregnant Reader, she is stuck at home with a migraine. Luckily for her, her younger brother doesn't make for too bad of company. — (Now) A slow shift at Brew and Me turns out to be a good night for advice and a call from everyone's favorite nursing student.
Content Warning: teen pregnancy, discussions of homophobia, discussions of abuse and allusions to physical abuse, discussions of slut-shaming, Reader is lowkey bad at advice when it comes to these topics LMAO, explicit language, food consumption (Reader drinks hot chocolate), not really a warning but Will is gay and autistic in this series
POSTED ON: December 25th, 2023
Part Six: "Full-City Roast" ~ 2.7K words
Summary: (Then) Valentine's Day has arrived, but unfortunately for Reader, it doesn't seem like much love is left in the air. — (Now) As the year comes to end, fireworks are going off everywhere, including in everyone's favorite little coffee shop.
Content Warning: the flashback chapter is pure angst tbh, partially takes place in a hospital, labor and delivery and medical talk, mentions of food
POSTED ON: January 7th, 2024
Part Seven: "Pour Over" ~ 1.6K words
Summary: (Then) Between postpartum blues and her baby's needy coos, Reader's having a hard time adjusting to her new life. But she quickly learns that sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends. — (Now) After dealing with her fussy child all night, the last thing Reader wants is a complicated day at work. Luckily for her, a certain nurse knows just how to make her day a little easier.
Content Warning: Content Warning: postpartum talk, anxiety talk, mentions of vomit (nothing in detail though), very mild swearing, mild hospital talk, mentions of food
POSTED ON: January 27th, 2024
Summary: Summary: (Then) Motherhood gets a whole lot more complicated for Reader when someone who she thought was gone for good shows up to meet her baby. — (Now) When Steve confides in Reader about his not-so-good relationship with his father, Reader reminds him that he's so much more than someone's opinion of him.
Part Eight: "Lukewarm" ~ 2.8K words
Content Warning: explicit language, infidelity/cheating (not by Reader or Steve), allusions to physical abuse, Lonnie is a creep and a douchebag, Steve's dad is an asshole, mentions of male genitalia as an insult, mentions of food, light mentions of medical stuff related to Steve's job
POSTED ON: February 26th, 2024
Part Nine: "A Steep Hill" ~ TBD
Summary: (Then) Despite the tragedy that's struck the Byers family, Reader finds herself quite happy with her new life. After all, there's nothing that brings people together like going up a steep hill with one another, right? — (Now) Steve is determined to make one last ditch effort at winning Reader over. However, his moment is ruined when a certain someone shows up at the coffee shop.
Content Warning: TBD
TO BE POSTED: January 21st, 2024
Part Ten: "I'll Chai My Best" ~ TBD
Summary: (Then) When Reader is reconnected with some old friends, she's reminded that sometimes it's okay to be vulnerable. — (Now) Reader's silly game with Steve's rears its ugly head, but the two remind each other that sometimes, it takes a couple awful tries before you get to make the beautiful latte art of life.
Content Warning: TBD
TO BE POSTED: January 28th, 2024
Finale: "A Whole Latte Love" ~ TBD
Summary: (Then) Reader's first day at her job takes an unexpected turn when a six-foot-something, handsome as all hell nurse walks in and, quite frankly, takes her coffee-flavored breath away. — (Now) Steve and Reader discover that with a little hard work and a whole lot of love, life might just treat you as sweet as the world's best latte.
Content Warning: TBD
TO BE POSTED: February 4th, 2024
series artwork: made by me!
series dividers: @firefly-graphics (edited by me to fit my theme better! feel free to tell me if this isn't allowed!)
I know I already reblogged this... buy I felt compelled to write a little story to go along with it.
🐸 🐸 🐸
“Hi there Mr.Frog.” A six year old Eddie Munson whispers while lying on his belly just behind Mrs. Jansen’s trailer. He's barefoot, a little covered in mud from hopping around like his new amphibious friend, and with rosy cheeks his curls hang only a few inches from his head.
The frog -Mr. Frog- ribbits at him and after a short giggle Eddie ribbits back.
He's at Uncle Wayne's for the week, dropped off by his momma on one of her trips into the city. Left to run free and frolic through the trailer park. Wayne knows everyone there, it's a small town, it's safe, and Eddie has been having the time of his life making new friends. Aside from Mr. Frog, Mrs. Jansen is his favourite. She always has cookies and even though she smells like cigarettes and cheap perfume, Eddie always loves the hugs she gives every time he visits.
After a while of ribbiting back and forth between him and the frog, Eddie eventually manages to scoop up the tiny animal and drop it into the front breast pocket of his overalls.
Surprising to anyone but Eddie, the frog happily settles in. Little beady eyes alert and tiny slimy arms hanging over the worn brown denim. It ribbits occasionally, but settles in for the ride.
Slowly making his way back to Wayne's trailer, Eddie manages to introduce his frog friend to a few more residents of the trailer park. All of which smile and laugh, giving Eddie's curly little head a ruffle and greeting the frog just how a six year old would see fit.
When he reaches the trailer and finds Wayne working beneath one of his trucks, Eddie runs the few remaining feet to his uncle. The frog bouncing around in his pocket, Eddie happily yells Wayne's name on repeat until the old man pops out from beneath his vehicle.
When Wayne's upright, there's a sigh of exhaustion puffed out of his smoke stained lips, but along with it there's also a smile as he crouches down to Eddie's height and gives the frog a little pat on the head.
“Boy, what am I going to do with you?”
Nearly bouncing on his heels, Eddie chants, “Can I keep him Uncle Wayne? Can I keep him? Can I keep him?”
Wayne smiles fondly just like he always does and ruffles Eddie's curls. “We gotta ask your momma, but I'm sure you can.”
Eddie jumps excitedly, the poor frog bouncing around in his pocket as he does so, and running as fast as his bare little feet can take him, Eddie hardly hears as Wayne calls after him, “Boy, where the hell are your shoes!?”
–
As the week passes Eddie and Mr. Frog become fast friends. To Wayne's horror the frog does everything with Eddie. Sleeps alongside him in bed, follows him with jumping steps through the trailer, swims through the warm waters of the tub, and eats his meal of crickets that Wayne had to go buy from the pet store, while they eat their breakfast, lunch and dinner.
A few times Wayne has even caught the frog happily sitting on Eddie's head as the boy sits cross-legged on the floor watching TV.
By the time Elsie comes back around, Eddie can't wait to introduce Mr. Frog to his momma.
She and Wayne are having coffee in the kitchen when Eddie comes clambering up the steps of the trailer. Thankfully wearing shoes -the boy's mother would have Wayne's head had she known Wayne allows Eddie to run around barefoot- Eddie's all bright eyes and bouncing curls as he looks to his chagrined momma. It's in the same instant that she fondly sighs the boy's name, that he blurts out, “Uncle Wayne said I could keep him!”
Giving Wayne a side eyed glance like she knows Eddie's words are those of the muddled mind of a child and not entirely true, she still smiles and crouches to her knees, “Let me meet your new friend baby, come here.”
modern!steve who facetimes his girl in the shower because he misses her, he likes see her pretty face even when he's washing his hair and he really likes when he gets out the shower and she talks him through his skincare routine so he gets it right, who only ever posts his girl and their cat, sometimes when he does post himself, he gets all these comments flirting with him, he's just very very pretty, and he always says things like you think I'm hot? then you haven't seen my gf have you? he's just that annoying, who see's his girl reading smut on her phone and starts asking her if she want's to try that, and he's completely serious, wait, how did they get in that position though? steve- what? here give me your leg let me try
who hates the lack of drive in movie theatre's around, because according to him, making out in the living room and ignoring the movie is great but making out with his girl in his lap in at the drive in would be so much better, plus the popcorn and coke tastes better outside the house, who runs through town with earphones, which wouldn't be a problem but every time he sees his girl across the street she shouts her name, so excited to see her, so excited that he forgets he's got music very loudly playing in his ears and one step away from her he's still shouting the entire conversation until she puts her hand on his arm and points to his ears, shit, sorry
who loves when his girl shops online because it means he's own little fashion show when the package arrives, it means sitting on the sofa and watching her come out in pretty dresses and short shorts, it means asking her to do a little twirl, maybe seeing if she needs help taking it off because honey that zipper looks tricky, who takes pictures of his day and sends it to his girl, so she doesn't miss anything when they're not together, pictures of what shoes he's wearing that day, what he had for breakfast, the cat he saw across the street that he's convinced has drama with their cat, him and robin at family video bored out of their minds, and a picture of her he's taken when they're together again, stevie- if you stop looking so pretty, I'll stop taking photos of you, deal?
hi :) could you do steve x shy reader at like a party or something and steve is her boyfriend who is super flirty but she's never had a boyfriend before so she's nervous bc he's being flirty?? i hope this makes sense 😭 thank you!!
it makes so much sense! i hope this is good!
fem!reader | 2000 words | suggestive but no smut
"we should leave."
you look up from the fire, a marshmallow melting on the metal skewer you're holding. "really? why?"
steve shrugs. "let's do it."
"why?" you laugh. you're not disappointed; you wouldn't mind going back to his place and getting in pajamas, where it's quiet and familiar. but it had taken a lot of convincing on steve's part to get you to come to the bonfire in the first place, so you're surprised he would want to leave so early. he'd even convinced you to wear your bathing suit, although you'd worn his shirt over it for most of the night.
he hasn't answered.
"are you upset?" you ask quietly.
"no, it's not that." he smiles at you, a little crookedly. "sorry, babe."
"it's okay," you laugh. when you flip your skewer around and bite into the marshmallow, he inhales- bending down to pick up your purse. when you bite the rest of it off the tip of your thumb, his nostrils flare.
your eyes flash wide. "what?"
"nothing. you wanna go? we don't have to."
"yeah, but-"
"i got you, then. my car's out front. did you know that?"
he's murmuring and grinning like a fool. yeah, he jokes again, this time in your ear. let me take you home. you can't help but laugh.
there's a small chorus of friendly but mostly unfamiliar girls around the fire who whine various lines like, no, don't take her yet! or, leave her with us! and while you're flattered that so many people have taken a liking to you in one night, you're perfectly relieved to go home.
steve puts his hand on your back while you weave through the small crowd. his friends holler at him, trying to say goodbye, and he waves back at them, every gesture noncommittal. the sky is a murky, midnight blue, the sun completely gone. you're gawking at him by the time you've hiked back to the empty section of the field where you parked, a handful of other empty cars around you.
"are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"wrong?" he scoffs. "no, nothing's wrong."
"you're scaring me."
he opens the passenger's door and leans on it, smiling. "you're ridiculous."
"what!"
once you're inside, he shuts the door and hauls around to the driver's seat, shutting it and locking it behind him. the breadth of his shoulders blocks the moon, his hair fluffy and dark, mostly towel-dried after swimming. you lean away and he's watching you- so you're tempted to lean back over and just let him do whatever it is he's planning to do. but you're genuinely rather confused, so you hold your ground against the seat. it's cold against your back, even in the dead of summer.
"your hair is still wet," steve murmurs.
"i know. sorry, i'm getting it on your seats."
he reaches over and takes a section of your hair in his fingers. "babe, you know i don't care."
"i know."
he's still smiling.
"what is your problem?" you nearly shriek.
then you're laughing, and he's laughing even harder, and then he kisses you, and you're very, very quiet.
he's still grinning. his fingertips rake against the back of your neck, at your hairline, careful not to yank at the wet strands there. his thumb skids over your cheek, your face still slightly damp, your skin too-clean and sensitive and a little cold.
"are you cold?" he says suddenly.
"no," you breathe. not now.
you pull away, dizzy. he breathes hard, beaming at you, but he doesn't look nervous. he's steve. he doesn't get nervous doing stuff like this. especially not with you.
why would he, with you? he's your first boyfriend. he doesn't have to impress you, if he doesn't want to. maybe you're not very impressive, either. every time he kisses you, you feel like you're going to pass out. that's not very cool girl of you.
now is not the time to be feeling insecure, but the feeling has already set in- even after he wraps his right arm around your waist and hauls you over to the driver's seat. you squeal as he sits you on his lap, grabbing his keys from the console and putting them in the ignition behind you. the heat comes on in a dull wave.
he's about to kiss you again, and then he stops, pulling wet, knotted strands of hair away from your eyes as you loom over him, not fully settled.
"you okay?" he asks.
"yeah," you try to say confidently. it's more of a wheeze.
"yeah?"
"yeah."
he smirks, and it might look a little evil if he wasn't so sweet.
"can i kiss you?"
it's the stupidest question you've ever heard. he's practically gloating.
"again?"
he gawks at you, laughing. "again, yeah."
"you want to?"
you're not even sure why you say it. but you do, and at first, steve just snickers quietly. then his smile goes a little crooked and his brows knit together. and he says-
"of course i do."
you swallow. "okay." be cool. "do it."
that was not cool in the slightest.
steve watches you, leaning back a little bit, like you're something to examine. you fight the urge to wrench your eyes shut. one of his hands lands softly on your hip, and the other comes up to rub your arm, warm over the thin tan sleeve of his waffle shirt.
"are you okay?" he asks. this time, he really means it.
"yeah," you nod. "i'm okay."
"but you're hovering."
"i'm what?"
"sweetheart," steve laughs softly, letting go of you for a moment. you droop a bit, and realize he's right. "you're not sitting."
"you can't just ask a girl to sit on you, harrington."
he looks like he might laugh, but he doesn't- his expression oddly serious for the night. "did i do something?"
"no!"
you finally lock eyes with him, and he looks so worried that guilt blooms in your gut. just be honest.
"i don't know, sometimes...i just get nervous. when we're together."
your words seem to wound him, but he's listening intently. "okay."
he brings his hand back to your arm, tracing lines on your skin over the fabric of his shirt.
"i...haven't had a boyfriend before," you say. it's not a shock- he knows. "you're my first. for everything."
he nods. "my luck is crazy."
"sure," you scoff, but his face is gravely serious. "i just worry sometimes that you're going to realize i'm not worth it. sometimes, when you...when you kiss me, or...touch me, i just get scared you're going to realize i'm not what you want. you could have someone who's less nervous. or who's been with other people before."
someone who isn't me.
you're a little horrified once you've said all of it. steve just watches you, crickets chirping outside the car, the heater blowing by your waist and over your elbows. his hands go still, and his face crumples, like he'd cut himself on something sharp. his mouth falls open a little bit.
"honey," he laments.
"i know. sorry-"
steve leans forward and wraps his arms around you, pinning your biceps to your sides at first, not weaving your limbs with his. you both inhale. he squeezes you, your head drooping onto his shoulder, and then he pulls you away and loops his hands through your sides; where you finally sit on his lap, thighs brushing against the console and the door. he holds you around your stomach and puts one hand on the back of your head, holding you to his neck. the scent of sunscreen and bug spray laundry detergent make it more real; his hands warm and dry from swimming, his neck tan from being in the sun. the entanglement of you both is a heavy weight on the seat.
you breath in again and exhale. he's real, and he loves you, even when it's hard to believe it.
"are you kidding me, sweetheart? are you joking?"
"no," you laugh, voice muffled at his neck, but he doesn't in return.
"you should have told me that before. i feel like i'm gonna be sick."
"steve!"
he squeezes you once more and plants a kiss to the top of your head, then one on your forehead. his palms meet your cheeks and he tilts your head back, your arms wrapped around his neck.
"i don't want anyone but you," he says earnestly. "there is no one i want to be with but you. it doesn't even cross my mind. it's not an option."
you might cry. he wipes his thumb over your cheek, now hot as an iron.
"you're it for me," he says plainly. "okay?"
"okay."
"do you believe me?"
"yes," you nod, embarrassed.
he shakes his head at you, expression still pained. it's almost comedic how awful he feels, but you feel even worse for bringing it up.
"i'm sorry."
"don't," he retorts. "no. don't be. c'mere."
you lean forward and kiss him this time, and he's happy about it; the palms on your cheeks sliding back into your hair and over your ears, drowning out the sounds of the field like a fishbowl. all you hear is him. all you feel is him.
"i love you," he murmurs, kissing your lips- and then the tip of your nose, and then your chin and the crook of your neck. "you're my girl. i love you. there's no one else."
you melt like ice cream, slumped in his hands. what else can you do?
"steve..." you whisper.
"mhm?"
"let's go home."
his response is delayed. he kisses the crook of your neck again, then closer to your collarbone. when you inhale sharply, he leans back, screwing his eyes shut.
"but we have to drive all the way there."
"you're the one who wanted to go home in the first place!" you beam, amused at his grimace.
"home is far," steve utters. "you're here. right now."
you're going to die if he keeps talking like that. so you climb off of him and drop ungracefully into the passenger's seat, clicking your seatbelt into place. steve groans.
"oh, that's evil."
"take me home, harrington."
he sits there for a second, and then shakes his head; running his hands over his eyes and his hair, black against the night. his laughter is a quiet rumble.
"you're killing me. you don't even get it."
"what'd i do?"
his head is still in his hands. "you don't even have to do anything. you're just sitting there, and you're driving me insane. it's embarrassing. it's bad for my reputation."
"take me home, steve."
you're trying to be firm, but you're smiling. it's impossible not to. steve sighs once, then sits up, putting the car in reverse.
"you need to watch for cops, at this point, sweetheart, because i'm going to go fifty over until we get home."
you consider saying something snide in return, but honestly, you'd be perfectly happy if he did.
