YOU SHOULD LEAVE

14/1128🎭

[hoonigundlach]

I’m so tired every day

Everyone just lies for their own gain

[mcdazek]

[hoonigundlach]

I miss you. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore

[hoonigundlach]

I don’t get it. What was the point of it all if it just led here

[hoonigundlach]

My ex never changed the account info for when we got the dominos app. I got the notifications for about 3 years. I always was like of cool she’s getting a pizza with some friends! Then she got into a real relationship and had her first child. So then I would get the notification and think aww cool she’s having pizza night with the family I’m so happy for her! But one day she asked if I could help her reset the password. Now I don’t get notifications and that makes me sad. I’m a ball of all the things I’ve ever loved. I miss enjoying life. I miss my friends and family. I just miss

[hoonigundlach]

Well some are born to win and some are born to lose. I’m the latter

[hoonigundlach]

The hard part about fully deciding to take your life early is how do I give my loved ones the “time” or “memories” like they want to see me “living” and I’m just barely hanging on. I’ve talked to them about my depression they’re aware. But they don’t know yet I’ve set a date.

I’ve found a partial solution. Snapchat! Teaching my dad and mom how to install and use Snapchat has been amazing. I can send them little clips through the day and they only see the best and brightest moments. My mom’s taken to it well but I have to FaceTime my dad this weekend and give him another course. My mom has finally gotten off of Facebook and has myself and my brother on Snapchat! They send each other videos of the animals in their yards and videos of the granddaughter. Without all the malice and bullshit it’s still a great way to have these moments with people and conveniently.

[hoonigundlach]

[hoonigundlach]

Working

[hoonigundlach]

It’s not worth it it’s just all so heavy

[hoonigundlach]

Like you kept all my good that I had when I left. It’s still there with you. I’m empty and scared, scared of you

[hoonigundlach]

I keep getting these “hope you’re doing so good!” Messages and I don’t know how to tell them 2024-25 has been the worst years of my life and even talking to them makes me uncomfortable

[hoonigundlach]

🇩🇴

[hoonigundlach]

After this I went over to the homegirls house to make her soft foods post surgery. I stayed the night with her roommate and for the first time ever was admired, touched, and felt while doing my poses.

I don’t think I’m doing ok. It left me so lost and confused because I have so much hate for this fucking meat suit I’m stuck with.

How could you like this grotesque mess you see before you?

You don’t know why I’ve built this yet you admire it.

Back to work.

[hoonigundlach]

[hoonigundlach]

Taking people out on this bike is always a great time 🇩🇴

[hoonigundlach]

In my visions my life always ends in the snow