( * & . — GARRETT WATTS SENTENCE STARTERS .
‘ he’s so handsome ! i had to take a picture ! ’
‘ i’m gonna like … throw knives at her . but she’ll catch ‘em . ’
‘ i wanted to put those fries up my butt . ’
‘ i think we’re about to smell a smell from the past … i farted . ’
‘ i wanna get nails that i can become catwoman with . i wanna like … fight crime with them . you know what i mean ? … catwoman ! ’
‘ i’ll keep my eyes peeled for a cracker barrel . ’
‘ you always have a dream that we get murdered . ’
‘ give me all the lunch monies . give me all the coins out of your pocket , boy . ’
‘ oh , joke’s on you , knucklehead . i’ve got another babydoll . ’
‘ we should cover his car in shit or something and then he can make a game out of like ‘ reveal your nice car ’ . wouldn’t that be fun ? wouldn’t that be nice ? kind of a game . ’
‘ what if we go to the carnival ? … cotton candy . ’
‘ i can assign you guys cups . four cups for four boys . please ! ’
‘ ooh , i love this can ! can we get this ? ’
‘ did you film me saying i wanted to put fries up my butt ? ’
‘ can we go to harry potter land ? if you do that , i’d actually piss all over my face ! sorry , i just get excited . ’
‘ i am hauntingly hungry . ’
‘ if there is an employee this attractive on this ship i’m gonna lose my mind . ’
‘ i don’t wanna be dead and i don’t want you to be dead and i don’t want anyone here to be dead . ’
‘ it would be sick as hell to be a ghost . i’ve been thinking a lot about that today . ’
‘ that’s gonna burn my little face . i’ve got sensitive skin . ’
‘ that makes no sense . what are you doing ? ’
‘ if the elevator doesn’t get us to another dimension , the basement is scary is hell . are you excited ? does that scare you ? ’
‘ i’m looking up the calories of the breakfast burrito i just ate … it’s 1600 . i’m trying to be better . ’
‘ is it trivia ? that sounds like fun ! did you get prizes ?! ’
‘ are you gonna get on my shoulders ? hop on , buddy . wait , get on my shoulders ! i’m a big boy , do it ! ’
‘ i feel bad ‘cause i farted and he’s entering my fart - zone . ’
‘ are you gonna touch ? i need to know if i need to flex or something . ’
‘ i’m not planning my death necessarily , i’m just saying i’m open to it . ’
‘ people who know how to sew are gonna drag me . ’
‘ i’ll be spiderman , you’ll be eeyore . ’
‘ i cannot find the graphic tees , can we just get the onesies ? ’
‘ don’t cut me off ! you were already gonna say that my story is boring ! ’
‘ it was snowing , that is scary . ’
‘ i’m sorry , i’m just being distracted by food . ’
‘ what’s your favorite natural environment ? people love the forest , beaches . i love that question . oh my gosh . ’
‘ i’m just tryin’ to get at that candy bar . can i have just a little ? ’
‘ he said he liked my outfit and he gave me a free cinnamon bear . ’
‘ i’ll go with the guy who gives me free candy which is him at the second . ’
‘ you’re gonna give me christmas gifts ? i know it’s not christmas , but … i deserve a little something . ’
‘ why can’t i be an option ?! what if she wants my sperm ?! ’
‘ i won’t break a thing ! i’m tiny and little ! ’
‘ i’m getting some goldfish , but you know what ?! i’m bringing them to everyone . ’
‘ wait , can i tell you guys something ? if you’re ever feeling sad then remember that your sperm did win once a upon a time cause you were born so you beat all the other sperm . ’
‘ wait , when you sit on this couch , are you ever worried that you’re gonna sit on the cat and kill it ? ’
‘ pregnant ladies can’t eat alcohol … frozen alcohol ! wait , alcohol doesn’t freeze . sorry , that was stupid . ’
‘ wait , i have a succulent in my pocket . i found it in my car , i’m gonna plant it . we’re gonna plant it , it’ll be sweet . ’
‘ i’m falling in love with her mom . she’s so cool . she has an accent and i love her . ’
‘ i may be blind , but i see . ’
‘ could you piss in this and fill it all the way up to the top ? i could . i piss so much . ’
‘ this doesn’t happen at the cracker barrel . everyone gets along . ’
‘ at the cracker barrel they have a sign that says ‘ show your things , don’t lock your car , and don’t take your keys ’ . ’
‘ nobody ever takes me to the cracker barrel ! ’
‘ i’m out ! i’ll always get out ! you always try it , i’ll always get out ! ’
‘ he never invites me to things . you see , i always just find a way in . ’
‘ with my best friend , i always show up . that’s how you make friends . you just always show up , you never ‘em let go , and you always hold ‘em tight . ’
blakekathryn
stormborns
vaporwave
titsay
kaledo-art
