17

I am NOT PRO. This is a safe space for me and others suffering. Relapsing atm :/

[hoping4happiness]

How can 15-17 change me so much. I feel thousands of years older.

[hoping4happiness]

Silly little words

[hoping4happiness]

[hoping4happiness]

I am terrified to grow old yet I wonder if it will be liberating

[hoping4happiness]

Relapsing harder than ever after a few good months and I am scared, but exited. It’s terrifying to now have the self awareness after a couple years of disordered eating. Knowing you’re self destructing and finding it comforting. I feel content for the first time and it’s paralyzing how destroying myself is the only thing that makes me feel better. Like bad mental health feels good and the only way for the brain to be quiet is to suffocate it from the ability to feel anything at all. Everything sucks.

[hoping4happiness]

Is everyone coping?

[hoping4happiness]

My birthday is on Halloween. Im having a Houseparty a few days before to celebrate, and it’s Halloween themeee. I’m exited and it’s nice to be happy abt something for once 😭 lmao. Idk whether to go as a cat or a pirate. I feel weird posting positive stuff on here because I usually just sound like the most miserable mf ever, which I am most of the time. I hope you can all do something nice for Halloween.

[hoping4happiness]

Don’t wanna b 17

[hoping4happiness]

This will forever be one of the most important things I’ve discovered. I understand it but I struggle to realize how badly I treat myself sometimes.

[hoping4happiness]

This is me Convincing myself not to tell my ex friends how shit they’ve made this summer because they wouldn’t care and they’d fosho laugh at my misfortune

[hoping4happiness]

I miss me

[hoping4happiness]

Message to small me

[hoping4happiness]

I often wonder if people really are serious when they make those relatable posts about “not going outside or leaving your bed”. Because they often seem to have a jokey tone to them and it makes me think like SHIT am I like un realistically sad because I mf do that shit and people seem to be using it as an exaggeration. I probs make no sense but I have like one friend I can truly rely on, I never go outside and the last time I felt happiness that wasn’t because of an unhealthy coping mechanism was a solid 6 months ago. I don’t wanna sound super quirky in this post “I never leave the house uwu I’m so introverted” but god I wishhh my life was a little more exiting and enjoyable.

[hoping4happiness]

Everyone who interacts with this acc means the world, ur comments make me feel that little bit less alone <3

[hoping4happiness]

I rlly wanna know why any of u follow me

[hoping4happiness]

Cant believe I’ve been trapped in this shit for nearly two years now. Time has flown and I’ve lost so many months to the misery this disorder has brought me. I am telling you all that it sinks it’s claws into you and does not let go, get out while you still can. It’s never too late to escape this nightmare, one day I will too.

[hoping4happiness]

Bod check. I wanna lose like 20 more lbs before school starts