Pairing: Hange Zoƫ x reader
Summary: Your research partner, Hange, is clueless about romance. Or so you thought.
Content: just fluffy research partners trope
A/N: i survived college hell week so here you go. HVD HANGE LOVERS!!
"I didn't know you could walk slower," you remarked as Hange strode beside you.Ā
Early training was exhausting, coupled with the paperwork you have to handle after. Just thinking about it drains your energy.
Your ever-energetic Section Commander only beamed at you and responded, "Well, I have to match your pace more often now."
"Why is that?"
"Since we became research partners?"
Your head racked in confusion, gaze snapping back to them.
"Research partners? Since when?"
"I knew you still haven't read Erwin's notice," they said matter-of-factly, pulling a folded sheet of paper from their uniform. "He thinks your works are impressive and said we should work together on a new trapping device."
"That... sounds exhausting..."Ā
"Right! Exciting, isn't it?" Hange smiled, too deep in their excitement that they misheard you. You can never keep up with that amount of enthusiasm, try as you might.Ā
After pulling an all-nighter last night to organize files, your commander now wants to transfer you to the thinking team. Great.Ā
"When are we going to start?" you asked Hange.Ā
-
It turns out that working closely with Hange would present unexpected issues. You have no problem with Hange or the work itself as being with them brightens your day more than you cared to admit. Sometimes you wonder why they're so good at making you smile and laugh even at the face of mathematical formulas and complex design structures but that's a question for another day. Your real musings lie on the question of why they're so clueless about people hitting on them. Surely, the box of chocolates left on their desk with hearts scribbled all over it or the cadets swooning over them when they passed by the corridor weren't just people being friendly as Hange always liked to think.Ā
This present issue became more clear when Valentine's Day arrived. To think that your lot makes time to celebrate this event is amusing. You were with Hange the whole time that day, brainstorming and sleepless that you almost forgot about the day of love happening just outside your doors.Ā
"What if we try it? You know, outside?" Hange offered, sipping on their fifth mug of coffee. "See if it works?"
"Hange, it's a long-range weapon. And there are people outside," you muttered sleepily, yawning as you walked towards the window to allow some sunlight in. You drew the curtains and looked down. "People celebrating apparently."
"For what?" Hange asked absentmindedly, busy scribbling down a few ideas that you probably have to illustrate later.Ā
"Dunno," you yawned again, drawing the blinds back. "I'm sleeping. You can't stop me."
"Go ahead," they said, thumb pointing at the bed. "I'll wake you up later."
-
When Hange woke you up about an hour later, you hid under their pillows and bargained for another five minutes of sleep.Ā
"No, silly, we're not going to work. I brought something," their voice came, lifting the pillows you're hiding on.Ā
Their brown eyes beamed at you, holding up something as your vision cleared.Ā
Chocolate?Ā
No, not just that. They've got an armful of it.Ā
"Where on earth did you get all of that?"
"Outside the door," they muttered, opening one to munch on it. They offered you one. "Surprising, huh?"Ā
"Well, it's Valentine's Day." You only remembered about a minute ago.Ā
"It is?" Their eyes widened momentarily. "I thought it's tomorrow."
You laughed softly, taking a chocolate from their hand. "We've been staring at plans all week, we didn't know."
"About time," they spoke, sitting on the spot next to you. Their eyes met yours and for a moment, you were tempted to look away as if gazing any longer will melt you in a puddle. It's not helping that they seemed to enjoy looking at you more than anything else recently. "Let's have dinner. There's a new dinner just outside the quarters."
"Did, uh, did we miss dinner downstairs?"Ā
"Yeah... I forgot about it." A sheepish grin crossed their face. "Doesn't matter, though. It's only 9 PM."
-
It turns out that diners were occupied that day, couples swarmed the place as the buttery scent of baked goods wafted in the air. After the long queue, you managed to take back four sandwiches which you ate in your shared room.Ā
Hange sat on the bed next to you, scribbling equations, crossing them out, and starting over again. It was adorable how their brows crease when they think.
"Hange?"
"Hm?"
"Shouldn't you sleep?"
They smiled, "Later."
"Happy Valentine's Day," you mumbled sleepily, curling up next to them.
"You too." Hange's gaze lingered on your sleeping form, thinking of the reservation for two they booked yesterday.
They stayed up late that night, writing down equations, and dimming the lamp to allow you some sleep. They were asleep until afternoon slumped over their papers which you diligently put away when you woke up that morning. You only understood half of what was written, guided by Hange's short annotations on the page. It warmed your insides, knowing that Hange wrote these equations for your designs. The invention you're both working on felt more feasible and easier to envision.
-Ā
"It's working well, Commander," you reported to Erwin later that day when he asked about the device's progress.
"It must have been, huh? Hange knows how to gather a great team," he smiled amicably. "They specifically requested for you."
Your cheeks heated up, smiling warmly even on your way out of Erwin's office.
Hange was waiting in the corridor, notebook discarded and eyes lighting up when they saw you. They half-run in your direction, energetic and beaming as always as though they had enough sleep.
"Ready to go?" They asked, walking beside you.
"Where?"
That same charming smile you always notice creased their cheeks.
REQUEST: I honestly don't know if your request is open but have you seen the song for epic the musical? "Would you fall in love with me again" ABWISJšš I can see a trope for Hange x reader,with them just being soulmates in every other universe.Or perhaps Immortal x mortal,feel free to ignore this dw šš»āāļøšØāØ [originally requested at @hangesdarling blog]
PAIRING. Hange Zoƫ x female reader
SYNOPSIS. Hange found a glowing door during their walk.Ā
CONTENT. fantasy au, fluff, angst, Hange is a mortal, reader is a spirit of some sort, scientist!hange, barely proofread (sorry), this probably has a sequel that will make more sense with the prompt given
A/N. hey anon, I posted this request on this blog bc the longer, sfw, and more tender fics belong here (I sort writing by theme xD) and this is in third person bc i feel like it. Hope you like this :)))
There were days when Hange had to step out of the lab, feel the breeze in their skin and wander through the greeneries surrounding their cottage. But today, with enough soot all over their hands and a graze or two, they decided that stepping out once in a while should become a vacation entirely. It would be nice not to stare at flasks and formulas for once. Hange took off their coat, nursing a small wound with an absorbent fabric. The last thing they needed was an infection.
With enough wandering through the clearing, they successfully distracted themself from the difficult chemical they couldn't brew and instead began identifying the leaves they crossed in the forest. They happily took mental notes, remembering better times when they were younger, more curious, more creative and perhaps, more satisfied with life than before. If only things were simpler again.
Their wandering thoughts held themself in place when Hange stopped near a countryside house. Poison ivy crawled on its dusty and barredĀ windows, the rust-colored walls barely peeking through the greenery.
In its center, an ornate door of exquisite beauty stood. What drew Hange in was the faint glow seeping through its hinges.Ā
They inched closer, careful and calculating as they always were. A decision which ended up with cursing themself that being cautious and afraid was not a brand of their character years ago.
They held the door knob, twisted it, and half-wished to hear a click.
It opened. And instead of seeing what was inside, Hange saw someone emerge from the door as though summoned. She has the features of a human if you don't look hard enough for the small things which sets her apart. Eyes and expression of a deity, someone you'd kneel for, Hange thought.
Too awestruck, they managed to stammer a shaky hi. They were opting for a polite good afternoon but none came out of their mouth.
The woman returned their politeness. Hange tensed up less when they spotted the amiability of a human in her smile. Both were enthusiastic enough that their own names spilled from their lips along with an outstretched hand.Ā
Their conversation flowed like honey on a warm summer. Smooth, unhurried, perhaps, even sweet. Hange observed that she's smiling more often, listening with interest in her eyes as they leaned on the door frame, exchanging tales.Ā
Oddly enough, they only stood outside the door for the hour they knew each other.Ā
"Is this your home?" Hange felt the need to ask.
She shook her head no and responded, "I'm its keeper."
Y/N spoke of it as if it's alive. Hange glimpsed a trace of her belongingness to the place. She belonged to it in one way or another.
"Is anyone inside?" Hange asked.
"No one lives here."
Hange thought carefully.Ā
"Abandoned then?"Ā
"Not entirely," she responded.
"Are guests allowed inside?"
"Yes," she responded with a hint of eagerness. "Once they beat me to a game of riddles."
Hange found themself smiling, "That sounds fun."
"It is. Many have lost."
"Will you give me a try?"
"Of course."
They sat by the doorstep, Y/N with her head resting upon her knees and with Hange facing her close enough that their knees touch.
They exchanged one riddle after the other, Hange growing enthused by each question which became stranger and stranger, each requiring deeper thought than the last.
Y/N spoke with tenderness as though each word she utters were spun carefully upon a precious thread. The tenderness remained in her gaze as she looked at Hange, her lips forever carved into a soft smile.
"No riddles anymore, Y/N?" Hange grinned, lightly running a finger to a strand of hair falling to her face.
"No more for tonight," she spoke. "It's late at night. The gods don't listen after dark."
She's a strange girl, Hange thought with a hint of affection.Ā
"I see," they responded. "It's interesting to stare at the night sky too. The stars are far prettier from my window."
"Won't you stay?" she asked, her voice weaved with a fine strand of pleading.
"I can spare a few minutes," Hange answered.Ā
And every day that came, they did so. Sparing a few minutes, a few hours, and sometimes (with a scold in their head), half a day.
Days went past, countless riddles exchanged. Hange debates with themself every time they pick apples from their yard, thinking whether falling deeper in love with the strange girl at the door is a good idea.Ā
But they always came, sitting outside, sometimes waiting, bringing her anything edible that grows around their house.Ā
"I'm afraid I've run out of riddles," she once told Hange, taking the apple from their outstretched hand.Ā
Hange shrugged, "Does that matter? We have countless things to talk about."
They sat beside her, closer than they ever were.
"It's only right for you to go inside now," she responded. Was that a resigned voice of acceptance Hange heard?
"This is new for me but frankly, I'm not interested in what's inside this mossy old thing." Hange tried to laugh despite the terrible pounding in their heart, despite their aching desire to tell her how grateful they were for meeting her which rekindled the joy they once lost.
Her hands ran gently across the disheveled strand of hair in their face, tucking them neatly.Ā
Her hand rested on the fine sharpness of their jaw. Hange resisted the desire to close their eyes and lean to her touch. They clasped it with their own hand and spoke, "What is even there to begin with?"
Y/N smiled, "You should be. The treasures inside chose you.''
"The greatest treasures known to men."
"I'm not ambitious enough for such greatness."
It was partly true. Back then when they forgot the joy of idle things, they were hardly satiated. A hunger to have, and a greed to know held them in shackles for longer than they'd like to admit. It went on until she came along.Ā
They were free. What else could they ask for?Ā
"You don't have to be. Not all great things are bound for greatness," she reasoned, shrugging. "Besides, don't fine trinkets interest you?"
Hange chuckled at her knowing smile. Her thumb ran gently across their cheek, their hand still clasped to hers.
"I do," they responded. "Will you come with me, then?"Ā
"If you want."
"I'll be more than happy."
-
The door swung open, the glittering and gleaming yellowish hue of gold almost blinding them. Hange's lips parted in awe. The interior of this place defied the architecture of its exterior. No countryside house can possibly extend as far as two towns inside.Ā
Y/N held Hange's hand, treading on a path of gold and jewelry which eventually turned to a variety of rare trinkets and shining weapons embedded with sizable, precious stones. Each turn in the never ending alley of treasures grew wider and far varied.Ā
"Have people entered here before?" they asked, a curious finger poking around the littered jewelry.Ā
"Some."
"How much did they take?"
"Many. Some crush under the weight of their own gold."
"Comical," Hange returned her gaze.Ā
"It is."
As they neared the end of the ever expanding place, Hange only carried a book containing (by far) all the world's knowledge, and a quill embedded with emeralds. Y/N gave them a ruby locket which they happily kept.
"Then we return back to the door? Is that how this works?" Hange asked.
"Well, can you see the door from this side?"
"Not at all."
"Then we will use the back door," she smiled, that one that makes Hange's heart flutter. "We will emerge in the front door in any way out."
"Fascinating architecture, then," Hange smiled, facing her, their hands clasped tightly. And with a much tender voice, they spoke, "I don't want to wake up from this dream."
"Are you dreaming, Hange?"
"Most likely," Hange said, their hands lifting to touch her cheek. Any warmth, any indication that blood flows under her skin would be enough. "I hope you're not a part of it. I hope you're real."
"I'm as real as these treasures are."
Melancholy swept along their feet, entangling them. If reality could bend itself this way, then what is there to be truly believed?
Hange accepted things in their scientific nature. It was the only way to survive such a rigid world.
Hange wrapped their arms around her, gently sinking to a tight embrace. Her warmth beneath their hands wasn't enough, their eyes itself a betrayal. Hange wanted to feel her dull yet persistent heartbeats beneath their hand, hindered by the softness of her flesh that only proves a degree of realness. It felt like groping for the only living thing in the dark.
"Can I invite you home then? If you're real, will you stay at my place tonight?"
"You have no idea how much I wanted to," she responded, her voice giving in at the last syllable. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "But we'll meet again. You have all that you need."
Hange held back a meek protest, a lover's cry telling the other about the uselessness of life after such a great loss. But Hange only smiled, hopeful again, no longer the scientist barred inside their lab with nothing but calculations.
"I'll wait then. I'll wait until you come home with me."
"I will."
-
When the house let Hange go, the door no longer glowed from within. The riddles are over, the treasures inside waiting for a different chosen one to open it. Hange had wished that all those days were nothing but dreams. Crossing the valleys of impossible dreamscapes were far easier to accept than the reality of a love lost, a promise hung between fantasy and reality.
But the book, the quill, and the ruby locket were all too true for them to deny that everything had been a dream. They still went to that door every night, the locket around their neck and the book giving them new riddles to tell. Hange spoke of narratives alone as though she can still hear them, as though one day her door will open once more and the blushing face they missed will reappear to them. Every day, for years they didn't count, they sat outside her door. Waiting, waiting. Sometimes they fall asleep, missing just the faint reddish glow from their locket. Sometimes they'd listen to the wind howl, and stare back at the night sky full of watching stars. Often, they wanted to sink to their knees and pray for another chance, for another time when they didn't go inside the glowing door, but praying is useless when the gods don't listen after dark.
list of my saved youtube videos that Hange would watch:
A/N: someone watch this nerdy stuff with me pls, i'll go insane. need a hange for myself :') currently watching these videos to feed my nerdy hange delusions :D [i marked my faves with an (*) hehe]
Pairing: Hange Zoƫ x female reader
Summary: Hange seems to love it when you style your hair a certain way.
Content Warning: slow-burn - happy beginning, things fall apart, angst, jealousy, lots of mentions of pikuhan (because they were ex lovers on this one), doubts and insecurities, reader is mentioned as kinda feminine
Word count: 3.2k
A/N: sorry this took so long. it was a bit slow but i hope you'll like it, anon :)
It has been a month of exchanging letters with Hange, and a few minutes of waiting for their arrival in the dock when you spotted their figure on the ship. The bluish sky seemed to brighten as the ship drew closer, your eyes brimming with joy at once when Hange came running to you once the ship landed.
Family, lovers, and friends await, the waiting area almost filled in groups of twos or threes but all seemed to blur out once Hange filled your vision, hands around your waist as they happily twirled you around. You smile into their neck, your fingers finding their way back to the soft brown hair you longed to touch.
Hange nestled their head onto your body, their grip unrelenting as they inhaled the familiar flowery scent from your perfume that always makes them smile.Ā "I missed you, sweetheart," they smiled against your ear.
As you walked hand in hand towards the awaiting train, you expected the heliotropes they brought out of their coat, the never-ending stories of fascinating things they encountered from their trip, and most of all the photographs and souvenirs they bought for you. But they showed you something that sent your senses frozen in both disbelief and overjoy. They fished out a small velvet box from their pocket, one that reminded you of the curtains and sheets you share at home. Your mind cannot fathom how your early morning on the train could start with a marriage proposal and an engagement ring on your finger but your thoughts failed to speak as you caught Hange by surprise through a tight embrace, whispering a small "yes, I'll marry you" on their coat before soaking it with your tears.
-
"Don't cry anymore, sweetheart," Hange chuckled, kissing the last few tears from your cheeks before the train stopped. "I don't like making my future bride cry, you know that."
A smile etched on your lips as you depart the train. You longed for this usual banter, their laughs, the way their eyes smile whenever they face you. Not long ago, these images plagued your dreams in a rosy film, wishing every waking for your dreams to be true. Maybe have a life where Hange doesn't have to be away from you for so long, a less demanding job perhaps? You wonder if a sudden shift would occur once you're married.
Rows of greenery grew near the embankment, the water rippling gently along the wind as you walked hand in hand. A short walk full of promises, and excited glimpses at what the future could be.
"After our wedding, maybe I'll take a week or month off from work," they would say, hand around yours. "I'll spend time making you happy. In many aspects. Would you like that, dear?"
You knew with half of your heart that they were trying to cheer you up, their fulfilling presence healing the time lost. Hange knew you enjoyed lounging at home, tending on the expanse of your garden. It felt like a perfect view, you and the flowers around you. Simple and tender, reminding Hange to purchase a camera once they returned to Marley to capture such moments.
Later that day Hange received an invitation letter. It was a simple party in the headquarters to welcome them back, along with the new Marleyan visitors.
"It wasn't such a big party, we can style ourselves then." Hange placed the invitation at the bedside table, gaze lingering on yours as you gently comb your hair.
"Say, sweetheart. Remember the way you styled your hair the last time? I think it looks beautiful on you."
Your mind recalled the way you styled your hair to their wishes. Your hands went to part your locks, fingers remembering how that style frames your face and a gentle ponytail hung on your back.
Hange's eyes smiled at you, walking over to place a kiss on your head.
"You're beautiful, Y/N," Hange whispered. Their every adoration sounded like sweet music, serenading your heart. A mellow wind blowing any doubt that would linger in your heart. They're right. You're beautiful in this hairstyle, Hange always shows you with how whenever their slender hands slip under your hair to cup your face in a loving kiss. One that sends you out of oblivion and illuminates everything.
Hange spent the night with their arms wrapped around you, their every kiss and praise sending a jolt through your skin. They would occasionally Twirl your locks around their fingers, eyes in deep rapture just by gazing at you. Their tenderness washed your worries ashore. Perhaps tomorrow you'd tell your mother about your marriage, wishing for a positive response despite knowing that you'll only come to hear a skeptical one. After all, you've only known the Commander for a few months. Tracing back your memory, has it even been eight months? You wondered. But as Hange muttered a final good night against your cheek, you were slowly rocked into slumber, dreaming of all the flowers you could place on your hair for tomorrow's party.
-
There was a single box that Hange refused to sort out or throw away. It wasn't taking up much space but you've always wondered if you could place it elsewhere if they wouldn't sort it out. As you pry the box open for a peek, you half wish this doesn't contain anything poisonous or preserved animals in jars. When the flap opened, you were greeted with a stack of envelopes, papers with their familiar handwriting, and most of all the fragrance of scented papers. You couldn't help but flip through the letters. For sure, they weren't old Survey Corps reports so you decided to look more closely and read.
Words of adoration, of longing, of intense feelings in the neat curls of Hange's handwriting. Your heart would have throbbed in happiness if it weren't for the dedication that wasn't for you.
To my beloved Pieck,
Your eyes read through, traveling around the very few photographs attached to the letters. There was Hange, smiling with a happy glint in their eyes as they held a woman with a familiar face. Of course, you know her, you might not have known her fully but you've seen her face several times. You always remarked them to be soft ones that fit her face perfectly.
It has been more than a year since Pieck and Hange broke up. It was peaceful departing from each other, you never heard a terrible word about her from Hange or their friends. If not, you heard how much Hange loved her.
You felt terrible for the tears welling in your eyes, of the heaviness weighing your heart whenever you looked at Hange's delighted smile frozen in the photograph. You wondered if you've made Hange smile in such a way if their eyes ever sparkled with just the thought of you. Looking at it for longer only creates a crevice within your heart, one that is enough to let doubtful thoughts in. You were about to seal away this box of memories once more when your eyes caught upon something. You briefly gazed at your reflection and back to the photographs Hange and Pieck shared. For a brief moment, you tried to deny it but your eyes couldn't help but gaze at how Pieck's hair frames her face, a ponytail tied low on her back.Ā Her usual style ever since she met Hange, but the way it mirrors the way your hair currently looked pricked your heart where it doesn't feel right.
The way your hair was tied looked very similar to hers and it almost appeared like you copied her. You loosened a few strands, tucking or siding it differently in an attempt to rid of the image. However, your little fussing stopped abruptly as you heard Hange's footsteps near the room.
"You getting ready for the party, sweetheart?" they asked casually, opening their cabinet to choose from the suits they picked earlier. "D'you think a red tie would look good on me?"
Their lighthearted tone only indicated that they didn't notice you hastily shoving the box back to its original position.Ā "I think it looks good on you, Hans," you remarked before standing up to smoothen your clothes.
They turned to you with a smile, running a hand through your hair in a way that the strands fell over to their original style despite your attempts to change it. "Get ready now, Y/N. I'll be waiting outside the bedroom."
-
Momentarily, you were snatched away from the terrible thoughts plaguing your mind. Hange's eyes remained on yours, never failing to tell you how beautiful you looked in that party. You stand out in a way, they said. Maybe it was the quaint old-fashioned dress, or the soft flowers adorned in your hair. However, you couldn't help but feel like everyone looked a different shade of elegant, synchronised almost as you called it.
You shared drinks with Hange, found new acquaintances, and were congratulated by Hange's friends for the upcoming marriage. Those were enough distractions to stray your mind away from the hairstyle you kept to please Hange or the way your eyes caught Hange greeting Pieck who arrived at the party. Sure, it was just a friendly greeting, nothing should be sour between them since they parted ways on good terms. But for a brief moment, you remembered the glint in their eye from the photograph kept in their box. Their smiling eye that sparkles.
It didn't help that when you fully turned in Pieck's direction, her hair was styled the same as yours, except for the flowers adorned in your head. You nibbled on your lip as you tried to avert your gaze, focusing on the swirling drink at hand or how cold the room was. Realizing you were in no position to protest or feel bad only weighed the situation. This was her hairstyle first. Hange was hers first.
You set the drink down quite loudly as if the sound would scare your thoughts away. You tried to depart from your seat but decided against it. However, you knew you were bound to converse with people eventually. Otherwise, you wouldn't have found yourself facing Pieck at one point in the evening.
"You look beautiful, Y/N," she praised you. You only gave her a soft smile in return even if your mind protested and desperately wished she hadn't said a thing.
-
The terrible dam you tried your best to keep broke within a nudge, like wounds stitched healed being delicately sliced open once more. You've doubted yourself enough the moment Hange slipped that ring on your finger. It felt like a hasty marriage, an opportunity for things to go awry from one simple mistake. You never thought you deserved to be a part of this marriage but you shoved the many possible hindrances at the back of your head when you happily agreed to it.
And even if you think that you never deserved Hange's love, you vowed to spend more than half of your life trying to deserve it. If that's how it should be, then so be it.
In selfish terms, it had to be you. You had to be the one they chose to keep their heart. Their choice was very evident with the ring on your finger and yet... you couldn't help but trace back to the love they shared with Pieck more than a year ago. Haven't they lasted a few years together before breaking up?
Such love couldn't rot in over a year, such deep roots couldn't be unearthed by a new love shared just because you came.
The box was there for a reason. Hange could never throw out their memories, no. Not entirely.
This is one of the things your mind could understand but your heart wouldn't.
Hange didn't like how silent you were on the ride back home, always looking out the window and never facing them. Your silence and the heaviness within disturbed them, but Hange sensed your fragility in those minutes. That perhaps touching you would shatter you into a million pieces.
You excused yourself to the bathroom as soon as you stepped out of the vehicle, the hair on your face getting disheveled by the second. Your anger within had no place but yourself. You couldn't be angry with Pieck when she's been kind the whole time, and you couldn't find yourself angrily accusing Hange of purposely making you style your hair like their ex-lover would when you were never sure if they did.
Before you knew it, your hands found the scissors lying near the sink. Your hands snipped away the hair framing your face, silent tears pouring out of your eyes as your gaze fell down the uneven clippings and severed petals littered across the sink.
The clippings felt like a sinister offering traded for peace. Maybe cutting it off was the only way to get rid of the image prompting those terrible thoughts.Ā
She looks perfectly elegant, jeweled simply, and you're a woman with no rank in the military and flowers tucked in her hair. Pathetic.
Your fists clenched the sink once again, struggling to pull yourself from the deep pit being created beneath your feet. Vines seemed to grow below the ground, pulling and ushering you in wicked silence to give in. Give in.
āY/N.ā
You partly registered how the door opened and how Hangeās arm wrapped around you in protection, the phantom vines dying right at their touch. Hange held you as they knew it was the only way to keep you from falling apart. You were a dejected being, a mess of some kind in the mirror. All of a sudden, your hair doesnāt seem to be that soft or your dress to be that pretty. You sobbed on Hangeās chest, burying your face in their coat the way you did yesterday at their proposal.
Hange ran a finger on your hair trimmed haphazardly, brushing away the rest of the flowers strangled by the strands.Ā
āY/N, whatās wrong?ā Their eyes fell on the clippings on the floor, and the abandoned scissors on the sink. āWhy did you do this?ā
I donāt want to feel like a replacement anymore, you wanted to sob out. I donāt want you to remember her when you look at me.Ā
āDo you want to marry me to forget her?ā The question slipped from your mouth even before you could stop yourself.Ā
āWhatā¦?ā Hange muttered, the realization only beginning to sink in when they ran a hand through your hair, provoking a sense of familiarity. Hange understood by now who you meant.
āItās just thatā¦ Iām having my doubts, Hange,ā you said slowly, trying not to break into a pitiful voice. āOur marriage, and the box you kept under the bedā¦ I know I sound ridiculous butā¦ I want to hear it from you.ā
Your eyes finally dared to meet theirs as you spoke, āWhy do you even want to marry me?ā
It was Hangeās turn to trace back into a phantom calendar in their head. It has been several months since you went out together and for half of those months, Hange has always intended to give that ring to you. Always in their pocket even a month before they went for the trip, waiting for the right opportunity until it presented itself yesterday. Hange feared your rejection. After all, it has only been months butā¦ Hange have their own reasons.
Hange began to stroke your hair, slipping their fingers now and then to smooth out the tangles as they spoke.
āI thought maybe we still got to spend a few more months, hell, even years to know each other but... Y/N, you know I'm getting older, and time, well... time has been getting rougher. It was never kind to me... to us. I barely see you when work demands it. And I... I didn't even expect you would be happy to marry me.ā A soft smile etched their lips at the memory of yesterday that brought relief in their heart.
"Y/N, it would break my heart if you misunderstood my intentions so let me clear it up this time. I'm not marrying you to get over Pieck or to secure a marriage so you won't leave me... It's just... I've never been so sure about anything in my life but this... "
Hange pressed a kiss on your forehead, their own tears teetering at the edge of their eye.
"I don't know what the future holds for me. And part of me doesn't even want to know because it terrifies me sometimes.
"We live in such a dangerous world. From my line of work, it's easy to anger people and have them take me out instead of resorting to peace. You see, Y/N... I just want to make sure... Make sure that I did something from my heart. Something I would never regret. "
A smile lifted in their lips despite their tears, and inner sorrow by the reality you both live in. You wanted to curse yourself for thinking that you both have all the time in the world. It was a wishful dream that only hurt you in the end. Your chest throbbed from the strained sobs erupting within you but Hange managed to calm you little by little by rubbing your back.
"People think that I understand things enough to have everything under control but I'm... I'm also full of uncertainties. I don't even know if half of the decisions I've made in my life were right,ā they continued.
Hange circled a thumb over your hand, the other grazing the beading tears in your cheeks.
"So I'm giving myself this chance to act upon one thing I'm certain about." Hange's lips met your forehead once more, the tears from their cheek brushing against yours as they held you tight. "And that decision is marrying you, Y/N..."
You wanted to thank them for many things, for driving away all the worries nestled in your heart, for being someone to cry on, and for all the trust they placed on you the moment they vowed their heart and life to you.Ā
"I love you, Hangeā¦āĀ
Iām sorry.
They chuckled, a soft one coming from their chest as they kept holding you. It amused them that a month ago, they would only hear your i love you's in their head as they read them from the letters you exchanged with each other. It always sounded better coming from your mouth.
"I love you too, Y/N,ā Hange smiled. āFrom that day I saw a few daisies tucked in your hair, I knew I'd give you a ring someday..."
"But that's our first date, isn't it?" you asked.
"Oh, I know," they laughed softly. "I remember that day like a photograph."
Often, living in a cruel world seemed like a life carved out of pain and infinite regrets, brought by never-ending doubts born from such a distrustful world. But with Hangeās every touch, and every word laced with love, the dreadful pit making a home through the atrocities within yourself gradually vanished, smothered by the affection Hange gives.
You sat by the garden where the heliotropes Hange knew you loved grew. They carefully trim your uneven hair the way one trims a plant during growing seasons. Your kiss of gratitude brought a smile to their lips as they ran a hand over your hair once more. They think of you whenever blossoming heliotropes face the sun.
hello anon! š will be posting fics soon :) I was just a little busy with school and other stuff. Mainly, I just work on what's coming on my inbox so you could shoot a request if you have. I might be planning a series hehe (but I need to plot it š„²)
hii can i request prompt 4? where reader sacrifices herself for hange.
Our Side | H.Z.
Pairing: Hange Zoƫ x female reader
Summary: You're willing to endure anything for Hange, even death.
Content warning: heavy angst, betrayal, loss, gunshots, torture, mentions of suicide, blood (lmk if there's anything more)
Word count: 2.2k
A/N: i feel like all hange lovers daydreamed about dying for hange at some point and i'm no exception
A sliver of light bled through from the small lone window of that room. Rows of cells lined after the other as you walked in, bashing in the awful memories squeezing inside your head, demanding to be remembered.Ā A reminder that there will be no end to the suffering thrust in your hands from that day Marley sent you to Paradis. Nothing would be expected from a soldier tweaked out to be a weapon and sent to Eldia but fruitful results about the island's ruination. You were ordered to retrieve information, kill, and betray. It made you lose your mind, and cling to the last strings of humanity you tried to keep intact. After grueling years, you found enough courage to betray Marley to live a life you were proud of despite all the blood that had to be spilled.
You could remember this cell vividly. You were captured by several soldiers, harshly shoved inside, and threatened to be tortured for being a filthy Marleyan outsider invading Eldia. It went on until the Commander stepped in to admonish the soldiers' behavior, and rescued you from their heinous treatment. That day, you didn't need to be tortured for information as Hange managed to pull you towards the light of things with kindness and tolerance. It was the first time you found someone not fueled by hatred but by a desire to understand. Your admiration turned to loyalty, and eventually, to love that was reciprocated twofold. The testament of your devotion remains on your ring finger to this day. But this time, you had to remove it and lock it away in a small box as your feet led you to the cell where prisoners are keptā a place where you were once detained.
You were ordered to keep watch of the Eldian prisoners against the Rumbling under Yelena's orders. Only one prisoner sat on that cell but you knew that this would become the most difficult moment of your life.
āHange,ā you said, forcing a commanding tone but it came out like a whisper.
Hangeās head turned from hearing your familiar voice and wasted no time reaching for you. The only restraint keeping them far was the jail bars dividing you. They have a frantic, broken look in their eyes as they tell you everything about the cruelty and massacre performed by the Yeagerists to make the Rumbling successful. Their hands clung to the bars, desperate to reach your heartā the heart they grew to love and loved them in return. The irony from where you both stood became stark as they stood inside the cell where they once rescued you.
āCome with me, you don't have to do this anymore. We can get out of here together,ā Hange pleaded one last time, eager to get her back to their side, awaken the person they loved and married all those years ago. It wasn't like you to betray them and give up the life they worked for over this war.
āHange...ā You struggled to retain the hard look in your eyes as words bundled up in your throat, begging to come out as uncontrollable sobs butā
ā...you're a war criminal. I will deny anything that goes against Marley.ā
After leaving those words, the distraught in Hange's eyes shattered your insides, pain wasn't plucking at your heartstrings anymore. It was piercing hundreds and thousands of the sharpest nails to where it would hurt the most and it physically weakened you despite years of being a soldier. You wanted to give up this act, collapse on your knees, and cry in your lover's arms. The only person you ever loved, the reason why you didn't kill yourself last night, and your only home.
You hurt Hange. They found it absurd and strange that they just stared at you in hopelessness and misery.
You planned this for a long time since you found out about Yelena's plan. And you're willing to sacrifice anything for Hange. You never slept a wink on those nights that you manipulated them into thinking that you supported Marley. Every night you wanted to sob and give up this cursed Eldian life. But that was too selfish. You're not planning to die and leave Hange in this miserable place.
They knelt on the ground, their head down as tears dripped from their face.
āIs this what it has always been? I should've acted sooner, shouldn't I?ā they spoke in regret, their voice hard against their throat.
āHange, I...ā you can't show them your tearful eyes, the hesitation of what comes after next.Ā āI loved you. But we have changed. I'm letting you out of here in gratitude for the old times.ā
Hange began sobbing, they felt as though the world kept crushing them to death. Irritated by a strong spirit trying to fight. Losing their comrades, the death of Eldia, and now their marriage...
They saw your ringless fingers, snapping the dam of pain welling inside them.
"I can't expect you to thrive off without betrayal, shouldn't I?" It was bitter, almost angry. An anger not directed to you but to your choice. "I can't believe you came crawling back to that country that hurt you."
Their cheeks are red with tears, their heart ripped open by what your love came to be. You could feel the last heartstrings snapping inside you, freezing your heart in a lifetime of anguish. It was true that your life became a series of betrayals and escapes but this time it was different, it wasn't for fear but for love.
You sneaked Hange outside the cell, walking in an awful silence until you reached a spot with no soldiers in sight. But when they faced you to say one last thing, you scurried away as fast as you could. You sprinted towards a dark, empty corner to slump down and cry. Screaming wordlessly to yourself, hitting the wall with your bare fist until it bled.
For a moment, the pistol at your side seemed to be whispering.
-
There was peace before the Rumbling came into discussion as you've always remembered. You cannot pinpoint when exactly things began to drift away but you have always noticed. Hange's intuition was sharp but yours brimmed enough to get you into trouble. You worked under Yelena's orders, the only agreement being set was Hange's survival and safety. In a way, you betrayed everyone.
Yelena has always known that your loyalty falters in a way that only fulfills your desire to protect Hange. She has to take you out. But your spirit was one for luck and survival, escaping her torture with a few bullets and shrapnel slowly slicing away your insides. Rain fell as you stumbled outside, dragging your weak form to the shady foliages with nothing but a pistol in hand. You followed the soldiers Yelena ordered to chase Hange, taking them out one by one from the sidelines. The sun began to sink into the horizon, blurring your vision as you crawled to the hundreds of leaves and twigs littered in the forest. It had been hours before you set Hange free but you had to find them somehow. The plan of the enemy finally pieced itself together in your head, but you have to find Hange to trust this information. Gunshots were heard from afar, two bullets fired, and no screams. You glimpsed Hange's form hidden behind a tree, defending themself from the onslaught.
You stumbled past the forest in desperation, your mind in extreme alert drawing out your pistol. You should have known this would happen. A soundless scream escaped your throat as soldiers from both sides erupted from the bushes. It was one of those moments when one forgets that their soul was attached to their body. Once, it happened to you when Hange accidentally burned their arm on a burning pot. Their scream triggered your insides, making you rushed past everything, knocking everything on your way just to get to them.
This time, your body burned from injury, numb from the bullets destroying your insides as you ran to them. You didn't stop until Hange was in your arms, shoving them towards a path the Marleyan soldiers didn't know. You kept Hange from the line of bullets, shielding them like a bird spreads its wings in protection.
After the gunshots ceased, Hange's hands found their way to your back, supporting your weakened, paling body right in their arms.
Hange brushed the hair out of your face, the strands leaving a soaked blood trail on your face and neck. Their hands clasped the back of your head, whispering almost in prayer for you to hold on and stay, for God's sake. Hange could almost feel your heartbeat getting distant, their resolved thinning to threads as they saw you drift away.
You grasped their hand, wincing as you held them tight enough. Your lips moved weakly, letting them know the information you need to cough out. All the plans of Marley, the Rumbling, all the threats awaiting the Allianceā information you knew Hange would use wisely.
Hange's tears spilled, their mind could not listen when all they could feel was your blood in their hands. How could they be so foolish to doubt your love and allegiance? Why would you let yourself play such a dangerous role just to end up dying in their arms?
"Hange, listen to me," your forehead leaned against theirs. You wanted to place a gentle kiss on their lips if only your mouth wasn't full of blood. "You have to go now, sweetheart. It's not safe here anymore."
Your lip trembled, eyes watering at the sight of Hange's tear-stained face. You forced your eyes close as if shutting down the aching.
"I'm sorry."
You choked out your sorrow, clinging to them as your vision blurred.
"I'm not leaving you here." Hange dismissed your plead to make them go, eager to carry you to safety once again. They clung to the hope that you could be saved, that this was like any other time they were able to save you. They always do, don't they?
Hange attempted to lift you off the cold ground once more but stopped as soon as they saw you winced in pain, putting a hand on their shoulder to stop them. You shook your head weakly, squeezing their hand gently as they set you back down again, holding you in defeat in their arms.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry..." Hange sobbed on your shoulder. An apology for all the time lost, for doubting your love, for not being able to save you this time. Hange's mind was nothing but regrets and apologies, wishing to every god to take them back in time. Their chest heaved as they held you but you smiled through bloodied lips, putting a hand over their heart.
"Hange," you began, death's touch running over your lips. "I'm a horrible woman. A traitor and a liar. But please know that I love you..."
I love you so much.Ā
Your sobs prompted the struggle in your throat, blood, and words halting your speech. People would say that your life would flash before your eyes, but yours played as a gentle memory full of Hange as if your life began with them. Your world, your light.
The rain fell gently against your skin, washing the blood off your cheeks. Strangled sobs erupted from Hange's throat, their pain thick against the air.
"You're not. And even if you were, I'd still love you," Hange muttered, a silent pause came before they said, "I was ready to leave it all behind..."
A smile cracked on your lips at their confession. For a moment, you imagined what would it feel like to run away and leave with them. Probably live in a simple cottage house by the seaside, away from war and chaos.
Your head leaned against their chest as you said, "Stay with me just a little longer..."
Hange kissed your forehead, their warm tears getting washed by the rain. "I'm not going anywhere..."
You could feel yourself slipping away, your mind lost in a neverending haze. Something inside you wanted to scream and beg for another chance. Despite your wishes to accept things as they are, you don't want Hange to be left alone in such an unforgiving world.
"I'm not ready to die yet... so, my love, please live for me..." your mouth moved for the last time, the sorrow within replaced by a small smile as you felt Hange's lips on yours for the last time.
Hange wanted to wail against the rain, beating the loudness of thunder and the intensity of the downpour. There should be pain, anger, and even a desire for revenge but none came. Freezing emptiness was all there was.
Even as night fell, Hange refused to let you go, and your body turned colder than the blowing wind. Their mind only ran with one thought of going after you, of wishing for a life beyond where they could see your smiling face again. But Hange knows you wanted them to live on, to bear you in their heart, and live for the two of you. They wanted to fight this war carrying your resolve, strength, and devotion to make a just, peaceful world for those you loved.Ā
Cold surrounded them deeper into the night. Hange kept their arms on yours, shivering against the biting cold with no intention to move aside and leave your body alone. At some point, their eyes would dry out and every sound they make would hurt their throat. Hange's head rested against yours as they fell deeper into slumber, dreaming of a collapsing world of boundless cruelty where everyone asking for help has your voice.Ā
hey! im the one who requested 17 with hange and loved it :) was wondering if u could write an other where hange catches feelings for reader, maybe from hanges pov? still angsty cuz hanges afraid of getting rejected, your choice on how it ends:)
Nebula | H.Z.
Pairing: Hange Zoƫ x gn!reader
Summary: Hange recognizes their inner conflict about falling in love with you.
Word count: 1.3k
A/N: aaeegghh I'm glad you like it! sorry this took so long lmao but i already have that kind of part 2 in mind so here you goooo
Sunlight dappled Hange's desk from where you sat. It was a little too early to get up but you wanted to admire the nebula-shaped flower on Hange's desk. The shape, the edges, and even the colors imitating the swirls of light and the glowing stars and clouds that make a nebula made this flower so fascinating to look at. It felt like a cosmic wonder that could be held in mere human hands.
Hange remained asleep in your bed, cuddling your pillow close. They might have a hangover from last night so you were quick to make the both of you a cup of tea. Hange stirred slightly when you entered the room and closed the door behind you, two cups of tea in both hands before placing it on the table beside you. Hange noticed how much you admire that flower from where you're sitting.
"How long have you been growing this? It's beautiful," you mused, a finger hovering over the flower petals. Long ago, Hange's mind wanted to say but maybe you would ask how long would that be so Hange found a safe answer and said, "Certainly not as long as it would take to form a nebula, but it's been quite long."
Hange smiled, dragging a chair beside where you sat. They couldn't find the courage to tell you that the growing flower was there with every thought of you in mind. It was something that they planned to grow a year ago, convincing themself every day that it was just a testament to the admiration and friendship they have for you. Every day they would watch over that plant, waiting for it to bear a flower.
"It was something I planned a year ago," Hange explained, sipping on the tea you gave them. "Pretty quaint, huh?"
"It is... Looks like a nebula," you observed, looking at the flower from different angles and finding it beautiful all the same.
"That's what I'm aiming for. I'm glad it didn't turn out with a weird shape," Hange chuckled. There was a silent pause, and only the sound of the morning filled the room. Hange tried to tear their eyes from you but couldn't.
"Hey, Y/N?"
"Hm?"
Hange noticed that your eyes were still on the flower and thanked the heavens, you don't seem to notice how they're looking at you.
"Can we go to the ball together?" they asked. "I mean, it's not really our cup of tea but maybe we could have some fun and go to the art museum afterwards. What do you think?"
Hange saw your eyes brighten at the suggestion which made their heart leap.
"Sounds good to me."
Later that evening, both of you attended the simple ball hosted by the school to celebrate the patron it was named after. Hange would excitedly pull you on the dance floor, both of your movements rhyming up with whatever music played. But most importantly, you talked and talked, exchanging ideas one after the other until the event became too commonplace for the both of you. Hange held your hand and sneaked you two towards the exit, giggling to yourselves for successfully escaping the party.
A few people crossed by, sometimes art critics and sometimes lovers. Hange's eyes walked with them and wondered which of the two groups you would both belong to at the end of this night.
You walked together in the tranquil silence of the night. Birds would hum as if in a gentle serenade as Hange held your hand. Neither of you spoke until you reached the art museum you both longed to go to. Eventually, you stepped into the place, taking in the gentle atmosphere of being surrounded by beauty and color, the soft hues of red and pink settled on each painting depicting love and romance.
Hange still remembers the nebula-shaped flower whenever they look at you. They mused over how things in nature are bound to connect in one way or another and how such an infinitely strange world could be thought of just by looking at you. Everything sings and the world loves randomness enough to give it its unique pattern. Hange was deep in thought of you and the universe. They only snapped back in reality as they heard your gentle query.
"Hange, do you perhaps think that love has a place in every art no matter how tiny it may be?" you asked. Hange thought over your question as your head leaned against theirs. They observed how you sat beside them, eyes wandering over the painting before they spoke.
As you walked home together, Hange held your hand tighter this time. Their heart rammed against their chest, their mind broke itself apart by brimming with the thoughts of love, of the universe, of youā all the good things that make up their world.
"I think it is. Love has a place in everything, it is either too much of it or lack of it that makes up an object. And either way, it leads back to love," Hange answered softly. They speak of such love in a room full of romance paintings but they only looked at you with a smile etch across their lips. Your presence made them think of art and science ā all the wonders and inventions born because one mind loved another. It may be an idea or a person but it all led back to passion.
This time it would hurt them to deny how much love they have for you from the beginning. Their heart held you dear too much but their mind refused for the sole reason that they don't think they deserve you enough to be in a special place in your heart.
All friendships and acquaintances they made so far flourished out of tolerance and need. People loved them through time and tolerated them because of that love, but it was never like this. To be loved and to be understood rarely comes along together. So Hange's mind racked itself and often wondered how you managed to give them both.
For a long time, their heart clammed up, tricking themself that they would love someone else, that they loved the girl who rejected them, and all because they wanted to avoid this situation. This very minute, they wanted to confess and recognized that their great fear came from being rejected by you. Given a day or week, they could get over any rejection from love or work but feared that your rejection would become their ultimate ruination.
And it was as though you could hear their thoughts as if their heart whispered their love to you. When you both reached the room you shared, Hange was taken aback by the sudden hug from you, their knees turning so weak that they had to grip the edge of the table. The nebula-shaped flower remained still on the desk as if watching things unfold.
The loving embrace you gave them just now triggered their desire to confess so they started slow.
"That flower... I must admit that it was for you. I made it for you," they let out before their throat could clam up. Hange finally found the courage to hug you back at this moment without trembling.
"And it means that I..." they tried to continue with much struggle. "That I..."
That I love you, it was so simple but they couldn't take it out of their mouth.
But somehow you knew, and it reached your heart nonetheless. You pulled away slightly to give them a gentle kiss, your lips careful around theirs. Hange freeze momentarily but something in them awakened their courage to kiss back and hold you tighter. Perhaps it was the relief that you love them as well, or perhaps it was the overjoy of their heart for letting themself open that love to you.
For a long moment, Hange refused to let you go and when they did, their mouth couldn't mutter anything but the love that tormented them for a long time. They wanted to cry or even scream in relief as all their fears became powerless to hold them back. Many things born out of fear ran through their head, thoughts of losing you or ruining the friendship they treasure the most but everything changed, knowing that you love them back. Hange wanted to ask how or why but realized that maybe your heart found true haven within theirs as well.
Hange's heart found delight when you let them embrace you throughout that night. And when the words āI love you tooā came from your lips, Hange thought about the universe again and they were sure that right that moment, everything was in synchrony favored towards them.Ā
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