Baby It's Cold Outside // Shouto Todoroki
A/N: May make an alternative ended where Reader ends up with Bakugo...
Summary: Shouto begins to think you can do better than him, and pushes you away. A/F
Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x Reader
The words came out rushed and loud as you clattered your teeth together. Your arms rubbed up and down over your thin school jacket as you cursed at your teacher in your head. You were supposed to be indoors, doing this school activity inside of the warm enclosed walls of Gym Gamma, instead, Shouta had your class outside, working on the P.E grounds due to miscommunication and overlapping training schedules with class B.
“C'mere, you’re warm, I’m cold, hug me.”
You buried yourself into the warmer side of your boyfriend, Shouto Todoroki. He had his own personal built-in heating pad, it wasn’t fair to let him keep it all to himself. After all, sharing is caring. A light blush spread across his face as he slung his left arm around your back and let his left hand rest on your arm. He pulled you against him, helping you create heat as he debated giving you his own jacket to put on.
Shouto let out a small smile and he moved his warm, left hand up and down your arm as you both watched Mina spar with Mineta. His hand came up and rolled over your shoulder and made soft contact with your ear and cheek.
“Talking about me or the fight?”
“Well I was talking about you, but I can’t say I don’t find pleasure in seeing Mineta get beat.”
“I know he can be a jerk, but isn’t she going a little extreme. I’m surprised he isn’t unconscious.”
You let out a small chuckle as Mina destroyed his balls with her acid and delivered yet another punch to his face. You had to admit, she was going a bit hardcore on him, and you were sure Mr. Aizawa could see that, but no one stopped her. You were sure she was going so extreme with him due to the stunt he tried pulling the week before, your blood boiled and you clenched your fists just thinking about it. You hadn’t told Shouto about said stunt, choosing to keep it a secret between you and Mina.
“He deserves it! Him commenting on our bodies is one thing, but he crossed a line last week.”
Shouto knew the boy’s schemes were horrendous, and he tried his best to put the pervert back in line when you asked him to or complained about it. It was his job as a boyfriend to make you feel secure, and he took pride in it. He wanted to be the opposite of his father, a significant other you could run to for help, and making you feel safe and protected from the antics of your lesser classmate was how he did that, but you and neglected to tell your boyfriend about how bad the boy was getting.
Shouto placed a chase kiss onto the top of your head as he ran his hand up and down, his fingers leaving warm soothing circles on your shoulder. You pulled your lip between your teeth, realizing you slipped up and mentioned it. You hadn’t told your boyfriend about the stunt Mineta pulled because you were both embarrassed it even happened, and ashamed you couldn’t defend yourself. Besides that fact, Shouto could get jealous and possessive. Whenever you mention Mineta was bothering you Shouto didn’t give you a chance to ask for help, he just seemed to take care of it. Jealousy and possession was a natural human feeling, but you didn’t want him trying to murder the boy for his severe actions.
“Uh, well, I mean it’s not worth sharing that much. Just the usual nasty things he does.”
Shouto ran his fingers over your rosy, cold cheeks. Trying to entice you to answer him by distracting you with warmth. It worked.
“He snuck into the girl’s dorms to spy on us after hours! To make things worse, he tried watching me change. When I saw him, he used his damned balls to make me sticky. Stuck in my bra and panties, completely helpless and unable to move. You have no idea how humiliated and disgusting I felt!”
“I would’ve made him apologize. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Shoutos grip on your arm loosened but you could still feel the heat just radiating off of his body. He was upset that you didn’t tell him, you knew that, but for all the wrong reasons. What you assumed was jealousy, in reality, was fear. The thought that you didn’t need or want him to defend you. He took joy in it, he took joy in protecting you. What he so proudly took pride in, was swept away by Mina.
Mina had finally knocked Mineta out and walked past you and Shouto with a shit-eating grin on her face. She shot a thumbs-up signal in your direction as she went to the infirmary to retrieve Recovery Girl for Mineta. Nonverbal communication that she had avenged your dignity, but to Shouto it was just a slap in his face. Why hadn’t you immediately told him? He would’ve knocked Mineta down a peg or two. He would’ve humbled him down and made him apologize. He should have been the one to redeem your dignity and redeem your image. He should’ve been the one defending your honor, but you hadn’t even told him about it.
Did you not trust him? Was he not good at making you feel secure?
The anger and frustration was already taking over Shouto as he broke away from you and walked toward the center of the training grounds to meet Katsuki. The feral boy wasted no time in blasting Shouto, trying to anger him resulting in him using his flames unlike he had in the sports festival.
Shouto rebutted Katsuki’s blast by hitting him with ice. Aggravated and aggressive, Katsuki sent boom after boom, blast after blast while he growled out phrases to work Shouto up and bring out his flames.
“Won’t use your flames? Pathetic. I honestly wonder why [Y/N] is with you, my explosions always got her going.”
“Leave her name out of your mouth.”
Emotions consumed him once your name left Katsuki lips. He was angry that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him about how his classmate tried to defile your image. Sad that you hadn’t gone to him for comfort and redemption but Mina instead. All his emotions were thrust into his quirk as he sent Katsuki one hard blast of his flames. Blow after blow, eventually, Katsuki went down. He gripped his arm which now held a severe burn from a Shouto as he screamed out fuck you’s.
As he cooled down, ex or not, Shouto couldn’t help but regret his actions towards Katsuki. He saw the burns he left Katsuki with. He saw Katsuki gripping his arm as Recover Girl made her way over to him. He could see Katsuki resist help, trying to say it wasn’t as bad as it was. He looked over at you, as you stared at him while you bit your lip, guilt flooded his entire being.
What if that had been you? What if he had lost his temper with you? If he was capable of snapping at Katsuki so quickly, what was he capable of with you?
Shouto made his way over to you and with quick hands, you grabbed onto him. You inspected him for injuries, worried he had been hurt too. Shouto hadn’t been the only one to get blows in, but his injuries weren’t physical. As your worried eyes met his, he felt disgusted with himself. He didn’t understand how you were able to cling to such a monster like him. Katsuki’s burns flashed in his head as Shouto pulled away from your grasp and ripped his jacket from his back.
He could hurt you. He was capable of hurting you.
“I’m fine. Here, take my jacket so you can be warmer.”
“Oh, won’t you need it? Quirks are just physical extensions of your body, I don’t want you overexerting yourself.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m going back to the dorms since my fights over.”
His voice came out rushed, his tone cold, harsh and you frowned. Before he even heard your reply, Shouto turned on his heel and walked off to class 1-A’s dorm rooms. He hadn’t meant to be so cold with you. He didn’t want to be harsh with you. Anyone, but you. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t stand to be there with you. He couldn’t stand there and let you take advantage of his quirk. He couldn’t stand there and heat you knowing how he could hurt you. After what he did to Katsuki, you should have been disgusted with him.
He was a monster, he wasn’t worthy of you.
“Who’s next on the list?”
The snow fell around you, wetting your hair and getting your clothes damp as you pulled your hands out of your pockets and opened your phone with stiff cold fingers to look at the Christmas list you both together made weeks prior. Shouto wanted to reach across the small gap between you. He wanted to reach over and push your hair behind your ear. He wanted to reach out and pull your frozen hand into his warm one, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t, he was already pushing the limit by being here as it was.
He was distancing himself, pulling away, and hoping you would receive the subtle hints he was dropping your way. The hints that he wanted to break up, to no longer see you, to no longer be yours. It wasn’t that this is what he wanted, it’s what he felt needed to be done. Shouto didn’t want to hurt you by breaking up. He didn’t want to be away from you. To him, you were his whole world, one of his motivations to become a hero. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much safer you’d be off without him. How much safer, how much better you’d be without a monster like him.
He hoped the list was almost over with, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle another minute with you. He knew he couldn’t handle breaking your heart himself, so ingeniously he found a solution: Be detached until you break up with him instead. He was supposed to distance himself, but all he wanted to do was pull you in his arms. He knew he should’ve stayed at the dorms, stayed in the confines of his dorm room, neglecting you under the pretense of studying. However, when you came to him asking if he still wanted to go Christmas shopping together like you both originally planned to, he couldn’t say no. The way you looked at him, a broken hopeful expression that he would say yes. Hopeful that he’d want to spend time with you despite him pushing you away. It broke his stoic reserve.
“We still need a guitar for Kyouka, a bag for Ochako, and something for Momo, she’s kinda hard to shop for because she already has everything, but I saw her eyeing a necklace last month. I bet we could even find Ochako a bag in the same store.”
He was practically ecstatic to hear you only had three more people to shop for, two of which could be hit in the same store. The quicker this was over the better. You placed your phone back in your pocket and reached out for Shouto’s hand. The gap was closed between you both as you tugged him along the sidewalk with you towards the store you needed. Shouto smiled. He briefly smiled and relished in the feeling of your hand in his, but it was short-lived as he pulled his hand out of yours and stuffed it in his pocket.
He knew there must have been a hurt expression on your face, but he had to take a moment to remind himself. He had to remind himself why he was distancing himself from you. It was for you. You didn’t deserve to be with a monster like him. You didn’t deserve it, all you needed was a push in the right direction.
As you walked beside Shouto into the Lois Vuitton outlet store your heart felt heavy but you tried your best to push through the pain. You couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t anything wrong with your relationship. You couldn’t pretend that your boyfriend hadn’t been distant, hadn’t been cold and closed off. He used to be so sweet, sweet, and present. He would walk you to your dorm after class, take you for walks, hold your hand, and more often than not, take you out on impromptu dates. He didn’t do that anymore. He was cold and absent. He rarely talked to you and he put little to no effort into being with you. Even when you tried putting all the effort, you could see him pulling away. As he pulled away more and more, you had to wonder if he even wanted to be around you.
You had a whirlwind of thoughts on why he was being so distant, why he no longer wanted you. You just wanted all the worries and thoughts to go away. You wanted the negative reasons you’d come up with every night as you laid in bed to be gone. You wanted things to go back to normal because, despite all of this, you were holding out hope that things would go back to normal. Hope that perhaps he would begin to come around again.
You walked through Louis Vuitton with Shouto hot on your trail as you went to the jewelry display. Shouto quickly grasped the right necklace in his hands, the expensive a thousand dollar golden lipstick holder necklace. He turned to you with a determined smile.
Suddenly, that dark cloud of thoughts came out again. The one that rained on you when you were at your most hopeful. The one that said he didn’t love you, but most likely fell for another. The one that gave you the most probable answer.
“How’d you know that was the one she wanted?”
“I was with you both when you saw it.”
It was a logistic explanation, but the simple sentence placed the seed of doubt into your head. Doubt that slowly diminished your hope. Despite the awfully, distrustful feeling it left you with, you chose to give Shouto the benefit of the doubt as you made your way over the bag selection.
“So, everyone’s making plans for Christmas, and I was wondering if we were going to spend it together.”
“I haven’t really thought about my Christmas plans yet.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, figured I’d ask.”
You kept your face away from Shouto and buried in the bag rack. You didn’t want him to see the expression on your face. You didn’t want him to see the remnants of all the hope you had left in this relationship. There was a right answer, the right answer you hoped he’d say, but that seed of doubt knew he wasn’t going to say it.
“I was gonna go home for Christmas. Figured we both could use time with our families.”
A single stray tear made its way down your cheek as his sentences tumbled out. All the hope you had left in your body crumpled as his words resounded in your ears. You hadn’t spent a Christmas apart since the start of your three-year relationship. He knew you didn’t have the best family. He knew you hated your father just as much as he hated his father. You both made it your tradition to be together for the holidays. You asking about it wasn’t supposed to be a question, but reassurance he wasn’t going to leave you alone. It was reassuring you he still cared, but all it did was water the seed.
“You want to go home for Christmas? I thought you hated being home over the holidays.”
“Some things change, [Y/N]. You don’t have a problem with it, do you?”
Of course you did. He was abandoning you. He was leaving you over Christmas for his bastard father he hated. The seed of doubt was beginning to blossom and you were looking for ways to uproot it. You had one vice left to try. His jealousy. If he so much as still loved or even liked you as a girlfriend, then just bringing up you and another boy alone would bring out the beast. No matter how innocent it would be, whether it be walking in the halls, or studying, Shouto could get possessive of you, and while you hated the idea of playing into his emotions like this, it was necessary.
“Of course not! Denki invited me to go on a trip over holiday break anyway. The guy he interns for owns a mansion up north, perfect for skiing. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
“No, I hope you have fun.”
You scanned Shouto’s face for any indication that you going up north with Denki alone bothered him, but stoic as ever he was unbothered. A last resort really, but you pulled out a card you never wanted to.
“You’re sure? Katsuki is going to be there, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by hanging out with my ex for a week and a half.”
“[Y/N], I don’t care. Go ahead, you know not to do something you’d regret.”
If Shouto really cared for you he would have said yes. He would’ve said he had a problem with his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend. You thrust the bag into Shouto’s arms and avoided his eyes, scared you would let the tears flow out in front of him.
“Um, can you go pay? I need to use the bathroom.”
Shouto tried not to look over at you on the couch. He wanted to scoot closer to you, he wanted to pull your body against his. He wanted to see the little face you made when his warmth took over your freezing skin, he wanted you to fall asleep on him. He wanted to be close to you again, he wanted things to go back to how they used to be. They couldn’t go back, it wasn’t that simple. He could never revert back into your loving boyfriend, he couldn’t allow himself to be yours.
As the weeks from that day in the outlet mall progressed, Shouto could feel his resolve diminish. Despite the distance you still tried to connect and be around him, he was still your boyfriend no matter how cold of a front he put up. It hurt to have you trying to cling to him but he kept pushing you away. It hurt to have you offer date opportunities only for him to turn them down. What hurt Shouto the most was letting you go on that trip with Katsuki. He wanted to tell you not to go on that trip, he wanted to tell you to stay at the dorms with him. With every passing day you talked with Katsuki more and more, it pained Shouto to act like he was fine and chill with it.
Shouto didn’t know this was a ploy to make him jealous to try and incite any lingering feelings for you. He didn’t know that you weren’t even planning to go on the trip with Katsuki but actually planned to stay at the dorms once he left for his own family home for the holidays. You chatted up katsuki more often and even went as far as to ask Shouto for advice on a bathing suit to both bring forth feelings from him and make your lie more convincing. It wasn’t as though Shouto wasn’t jealous, it wasn’t as though he stopped caring for you and who you hung out with. The idea of you in a bikini with Katsuki grated him. The two of you in a hot tub, escaping the dreaded cold rubbed him the wrong way, but he needed to let it happen, he needed to push you away into the arms of someone more worthy, into the arms of another.
“When are you leaving for your trip?”
Shouto hadn’t even turned to look at you as he spoke out the question. He hadn’t looked and maybe had he, he would’ve seen how broken you looked, he would’ve seen your disheveled appearance and his resolve would’ve broken for sure. With your legs pulled up on the couch and your head resting on your knees, a frown on your face as you stole sneaky little glances at your boyfriend when he wasn’t looking. He never looked at you anymore, just another indication of where your relationship was headed.
“Katsuki and I are meeting at the airport in a couple of hours, he said the ticket was paid for by his internship boss, but I think he’s really paying for it.”
Shouto didn’t look at you, and it hurt. What guy didn’t get upset, or weird at the very least, at the idea of his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend? Beyond that, the proposed idea that his girlfriend is getting a plane ticket paid for by said ex-boyfriend should upset him. You snagged your lip between your teeth as your grip on your legs tightened.
“When are you going home?"
You nodded your head and made a mental note to leave until he left to make it seem you went on the trip. You didn’t want him knowing that you planned to stay in the dorms alone over Christmas, but those were his exact plans. He hadn’t spent a Christmas apart from you since the beginning of this relationship, and he just wanted to wallow in self-pity over having pushed you away successfully.
“Do you want to exchange gifts before we leave?”
“I didn’t think we were getting each other gifts since we’re not seeing each other on Christmas.”
You let out a sigh as you tried to keep the tears down. You were so hopeful, you were holding out for him but you couldn’t anymore. You got him a gift, hoping that Christmas would bring out the best in him and make him open up. You thought that the day would roll around and everything would be fixed by the magic of Christmas. He hadn’t even gotten you a gift, yet he knew what neckless Momo wanted. You couldn’t do it anymore, you couldn’t pretend things would get better. You couldn’t pretend he still loved you.
“What did I do wrong? I’m sorry, I can fix it. I’m sorry, I’ll fix it.”
The tears began leaking out and running down your cheeks in warm streaks. You tried to keep your little sniffles quiet by pressing your hand over your mouth and nose. You didn’t want him to see you cry, you didn’t want him to hear your tears, but he did. Shouto looked over at you with knitted eyebrows before looking back at the fireplace. He wanted to comfort you, he wanted to hold you and reassure you that it was okay, but he needed to push you away.
“I’m drowning, I’m drowning Shouto. I don’t understand what I did to make us like this. Am I too clingy, do I suffocate you? I’ll give you space, I can give you more space!”
Shouto clenched his fists as your words tumbled out in frantic sentences but he stayed silent. He did so well, he’s done so well at pushing you away. He had to keep his resolve up, he had to push away. You didn’t deserve him, you didn’t deserve to be with such a monster.
“When Katsuki broke up with me he said it was cause’ I’m weak. Is that it, am I too weak for you? I’ll train harder. I’ll be a hero you can be proud of.”
Shouto kept his face away from yours, silently and still staring at the fire. He knew if he looked at you then he would break. If he looked at you he would crawl into your arms and whisper reassuring words on how Katsuki is an ass, reassuring words on how strong you were. He wanted to tell you that you always made him proud, but he didn’t let himself. The more he continued being silent, the more it hurt you. More tears flowed from your eyes as you spoke out the sentence you so solemnly tried to quell. The thought you so desperately had been trying to put out like a wild fire.
“Deep down I know the truth, you want her, don’t you? Momo? God, how stupid I must look, my boyfriend and my best friend right under my nose.”
You pressed your hand to your mouth to muffle a strangled sob as you wiped away your tears with the back of your hand, futile as more quickly replaced them. Shouto looked over at you, a few tears dripping down from his own eyes. That’s what you thought? That he was cheating? Shouto wasn’t sure if he should feel insulted for you thinking so low of him, but then again, had the roles been reversed with you pushing him away, he would think the same.
“I… I just want you to know I don’t blame you Shouto. She can suit your needs so well. She’s smarter, rich, and god, she’s so much prettier. I- I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, I’m sorry I couldn’t satisfy you. I’m sorry I wasted your ti”-
“Don’t say that, don’t, just don’t. Don’t compare yourself to her. I don’t want Momo, I haven’t wanted anyone except for you.”
“Then why don’t you want me? You don’t touch me anymore, you don’t even look at me. I don’t understand what I did.”
“You didn’t do anything! You did nothing, it’s me! I’m the problem, I’m the issue.”
Shouto stood up abruptly, pacing back and forth he ran his hand through his hair roughly. He should’ve kept his resolve, he should’ve stayed solid, but hearing the quiver in your voice, hearing your thoughts, your deeply negative thoughts broke him so.
“You are so perfect, [Y/N]. I love when you cling to me, you’re so strong, you’re beautiful and perfect, and fuck! The only reason I remembered Momo’s necklace was because it was right next to the earrings I bought for you.”
You stood up and wrapped your arms around Shouto. You buried your face in his chest as he let his tears fall. He should push you away, he should make distance from you, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, instead, he wrapped his arms around you and let out his own sob into your hair as he held you close for the first time in days.
“I’m such a monster [Y/N]. I’m such a monster, I’m just like my dad. You saw how I burned Katsuki. You shouldn’t be with me, I might hurt you.”
You pulled out of Shouto’s arms to cup his face. There was a frown on your face, leaving him with an unsettling feeling in his gut that you agreed. It was quite the opposite.
“Shouto, you would never hurt me. I don’t know where you got that idea, but I know you would never. You are sweet, caring, and possibly the best boyfriend to ever exist. You are not your father, you are Shouto Todorki, my boyfriend.”
“I’ve hurt you so much these past few weeks. I’ve ignored you, and I’ve been cold, why are you still here.”
“You pushed me away because you thought it was good for me. Granted that wasn’t your choice to make, I’m still here because I love you, and you love me, the rest is pudding.”
You pressed your lips against Shoutos, they felt warm and rough, you hadn’t felt them in so long, how you missed them so. You pressed into the kiss, with him pulling you closer, want and need dripping between you both as your wandering hands pulled and tugged each other.
“Tell me what’s going on instead of pushing me away next time. I’m not letting you go, no matter how hard you push me away. I’m here to stay.”
“I will, I promise. I love you, [Y/N], so much. I need you in my life. I’ve been an awful ass, and I know I’m in no place to make requests, but please don’t go with Katsuki.”
“I never planned to, I turned him down when he first asked. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, Sho. We’re always together for the holidays, we have our own traditions, and spending it with anyone else isn’t right.”
“I wasn’t gonna go home either, was gonna stay here. What a pair of liars we are, c'mon, I think we can still salvage this Christmas Eve.”
Shouto kissed your hand and tugged you towards the kitchen. With your hands enveloped in each other, all was right. It was right, being with you was right. Maybe he was a monster, maybe he was temperamental, but that was something he was willing to work on to be with you.
