Gregory House

I’m a doctor. More mouse bites 🐁 Ask me anything medical or non medical related.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

Hello.

I’m Doctor House, head of diagnostics at Princeton Plainsboro teaching hospital and I’m here to answer any of your medical (or non medical) questions. Of course I can’t properly diagnose you all when you’re not physically in my office but I will try my best. Don’t tell Cuddy I’ve been spending my time on “Tumblr” instead of doing clinic duty. I wonder if Wilson is on this site, app, whatever you call it.

(Ooc) I’m not actually. Doctor so Uhm don’t take my advice seriously :p

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

HEY GO CHECK OUT

@leatherrecliningcouch

THEY HAVE VERY LOVELY IMAGES OF YOU

(it's very frightening to see how many fucking images they have of you)

how do they get such stunning pictures of me?

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

I hate clinic duty.

some guy just came in complaining he needed blood pressure meds (that he did in fact not need) and then banged on the ER doors for an hour because he couldn’t handle waiting an hour since there was an emergency and all the doctors were busy. Another dude was fully naked when I entered the exam room. One of the patients got out and started a riot in the clinic and Cuddys mad at me now because the MRI machine is down and apparently it’s my fault (Chase broke it)

anyways, how’s you’re day going?

this all happened within 4 hours by the way.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

Can you adopt me please my mother wants to disown me when I come out as trans please adopt me

why does everyone think I’m father material?

and fine. I’ll adopt you. But my house is getting full. Apparently Chase and Thirteen are also my children now. And a random girl I met online earlier named Ava? Anywho…

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

wdymmm you literally loved cuddy and became depressed after she dumped you

whattttt, noooo

I’m not depressed.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

are you perhaps in love with cuddy? If not set me up with her 🙏

no I am not in love with Cuddy.

But no you can’t have her.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

Why do I have daily migraines

the key here is how many days in a row you have migraines. You could have what we call “chronic migraines” which may be accompanied by nausea or vomiting. This can be helped with medication and usually isn’t serious unless you recently hit your head or are having seizures along with other symptoms that could be a brain tumour. Honestly tho the first idea is more common. If it gets unbearable I guess just ask your doctor for some better pain meds. Or stop trying to “raw dog it” and take ibuprofen or Tylenol.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

doct5r hosse do you liketo Frotnite.

wh5 are youse talkinglike tihs?

also can we actually ask some medical questions here? I’m a doctor not a psychologist. You guys really do all belong in a psych ward

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

What’s your favourite flavour of popcorn. Whinny

Butter. There shouldn’t be any other flavours. popcorn is popcorn.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

Are you the best doctor in the universe

Well, theoretically and diagnostically yes but some would argue on that.

let’s just say ppl don’t exactly appreciate when I stick thermometers up their behind even if it’s diagnostically important. 🤷‍♀️

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

How many times do you get held at gun point at work 😭😭 how has that happened to you at all but also more than once???

honestly it happens more than ya think.

I also get a lot of weirdos trying to kidnapp me or get my autograph or who are just down right obsessed with me. But that’s what I get for being well known I suppose.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

house my back hurts and it’s making me become EVILLLL >:)

honestly-

That’s what pain does. 🤷‍♀️

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

How’s the hospital going Dr House

well…

Chase and Cameron just made out in the supply closet again…

My patient just threatened to throw himself off a building, and Cuddy is threatening my job because the patient needs mouse bites to live.

so yeah, doing just great.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

they can see and hear us no matter what we do and we must run

Ok- for a 3rd time now… this is not the psych ward. If you’re hearing voices you should seriously get checked out.

Totally not speaking from experience…

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

poop comes out of the butt

unfortunately that’s not always the case…

you see, sometimes it can come up the other way, It’s called vomiting or copremesis. It happens due to a blockage or other severe problems within the digestive system.

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

Im not completely sure what is wrong with you but i find it oddly appealing

Why thank you.

Cuddy just says I’m “mentally ill.”

Cameron thinks I’m misundertsood

and Wilson thinks I’m Autistic.

can’t say for sure who’s right but pretty sure they all could be right on some level…

[houseofmedicalmalpractice]

evil calendar

again…

the psych ward isn’t far from here….