April 2nd, 2019
I haven’t used Tumblr in a long time. Honestly, the only reason I made an account in the first place was to have something in common with females when I was a teen, but it seems it’s turned into more of a diary. I decided to check back here today after I was emailed about a porn account following me. I was pleasantly surprised by the stories my past self left me.
Lots has changed. I moved from a big city to a small town of 5000 people, but I’ve found a much better job in terms of wage, hours, and atmosphere. It’s heavy lifting and can get pretty brain numbing, but I wouldn’t mind working here for a couple years until I decide what to make of myself. Sometimes my brain digs up random bad moments in my past, when I’m in bored robot mode at work, and talking about them out loud to myself has provided much closure. It mostly consists of that noise Tina from Bob’s Burgers makes, but admittedly all this time I’ve had to myself has been somewhat eye opening.
Haven’t sold my car! In fact, I’ve grown to appreciate its quirks. Right now it has a short circuit at the tail lights which I’m in the middle of locating and fixing, but my family doesn’t believe I have what it takes. I’m told daily that I should just take it to a shop, but there’s no way I’m paying people who know just as much about this stuff as I do, to fix it for me.
I have zero updates on my relationship status. In fact, it’s become even more difficult to engage with girls than it used to be in my home town. The only place I really meet people is at work (in a distribution warehouse with ~200 people x3 shifts) but otherwise I never go out. I’m usually ready for a nap when I get home.
My dreams have become noticeably less vivid during the night. Possible because I’m waking up earlier for work, but I don’t seem to remember them as much. My dreams during naps however, are wild. I once had a lucid dream, inside of a dream.
I’ve made it clear to my mother that I intend to move out soon, but she seems indifferent about the topic. Before the move, she threatened to charge me rent, but that idea has gone stale and things are pretty stable between us. My father and I text once a week, but see each other maybe one weekend every couple months now. I’m not bothered by this.
Overall, things have gotten better, but I know I still have steps on this life ladder to climb up. I’m optimistic that I’ll have more to update on, the next time I return.
