when kids stare at you for a long time

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when kids stare at you for a long time
Transcript between Jake Evans and 911 dispatch operator
911 Dispatch: Parker County 911, where is your emergency?
Jake Evans: Uh, my house.
911: What’s the emergency?
Evans: Uh, I just killed my mom and my sister.
911: What? How did you do that?
Evans: Uh, I shot them with a .22 revolver.
911: Are you sure they’re dead?
Evans: They’re dead.
911: Okay, I want you to stay on the phone with me. Are you alright?
Evans: Yeah, I’m alright. (The gun) is on the kitchen counter.
911: Jake, are you on any medication?
Evans: Uh, no. I’ve been going to the allergist, I’m on allergy medication. Other than Zyrtec and Advil and Pseudoephedrine, I don’t take anything else.
911: Is there any reason that you were so angry at your mother and your sister?
Evans: I don’t know. … It’s weird. I wasn’t even really angry with them. It just kind of happened. I’ve been kind of, uh, planning on, uh, killing for a while now.
911: The two of ‘em, or just anybody?
Evans: Pretty much anybody.
911: Why?
Evans: I don’t know. I don’t really like, uh, people’s, uh, attitude. … I think it’s kind of, very, like, you know, emotional. They’re verbally rude to each other and stuff like that. I don’t know. It’s just my family is just kind of really I guess this is really selfish to say, but I felt they were just suffocating me in a way. I don’t know, I’m pretty, I guess, evil…Whatever, I’m sorry.
911: Were your mom and sister in their beds?
Evans: I don’t know. This is going to really mess me up in the future. I told my sister that my mom needed her. She was in her room, and she came out of her room, and I shot her. And she rolled down the stairs and I shot her again. And then I went down and I shot my mom maybe three or four times, but I’ll never forget this. My sister, she came downstairs and she was screaming and I was telling her that I’m sorry but just to hold still – that, you know, I was just going to make it go away. But she kept on freaking out, but she finally fell down and I shot her in the head about, probably, three or four times.
911: Are you in the kitchen?
Evans: Yes.
911: Where’s your dad?
Evans: He’s out of town. Washington, D.C. And, uh, I guess for future reference, I don’t really want to see any of my family members, like visiting or whatever. I just don’t want any type of visitors.
911: You don’t want to hurt yourself, do you?
Evans: Just to let you know, I hate the feeling of killing someone. (Sighs) I’m going to be messed up.
911: You just take a deep breath. We have deputies coming, and they’re going to help you. Just to let you know, we’re going to help you, we’re not going to hurt you.
Evans: I understand if ya’ll want to.
911: No, we’re there to help you, Jake. Everybody thinks we want to do bad things, but right or wrong, we want to help people, and we’re gonna help you. Do you understand that, Jake?
Evans: Yes.
911: Is it a gated community? Is there a gate?
Evans: Uh, yes. You want the password? (He gives her the password)
911: It’s going to be alright, it really is. They’ll be there shortly, won’t be long now. Jake, would you mind turning any of the porch lights on?
Evans: I have turned the front lights on. (pauses) I was thinking of my sister. She was 15.
911: How long ago did (the shootings) happen?
Evans: About, uh, 30 minutes ago. (breathes heavily)
911: You’ll be alright, Jake.
Evans: I’m really worried about, like, nightmares and stuff like that. Are there any times of medications, and stuff?
911: Well, I think there is. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor but … I’m sure your family will get you the support you need.
Evans: I don’t mean to sound like a wimp or anything, but this is, wow, I’ve never, like, done anything violent in my whole life.
911: You don’t sound like a violent person. But um, help will be provided for you. Medical and psychological. That will be provided, so you don’t have to worry about that right now. Take deep breaths for me now, you’re doing fine. In through your nose, and out through your mouth so you don’t hyperventilate, okay?
Evans: (breathing)
911: Good, you sound a lot calmer right now.
Evans: I didn’t want them to feel pain, that’s why I used a gun, but it’s like everything went wrong.
911: Jake, my officers are almost there, would you be willing to walk out on your own?
Evans: Um, yes, I forgot to say before I called, I put the gun on the counter, it’s still loaded.
911: Okay, that’s fine. I’ll stay on the phone until it’s time for you to walk out. Are you on your home phone? Is it cordless?
Evans: Yes.
911: Jake, what I want you do to is walk outside, but when you’re walking outside, stay visible, don’t walk behind any furniture. When you open the front door, put your hands up in the air, just walk very slowly, and walk outside, and keep your hands visible, alright, sweetie? I’ll talk to you later.
Evans: Thank you (puts phone down)
911: You’re welcome.
That 911 operator must have been working on pure adrenaline but kept their cool during the whole thing. Sometimes we don’t even realize what all they have to listen to day in and day out but this was really insightful. Yes they are only on the phone whenever there is an emergency but things could have gotten way, way worse if the operator panicked instead of coming across as sympathetic.
I really respect the operator
What a crazy thing to read
Some words to use when writing things:
winking
clenching
pulsing
fluttering
contracting
twitching
sucking
quivering
pulsating
throbbing
beating
thumping
thudding
pounding
humming
palpitate
vibrate
grinding
crushing
hammering
lashing
knocking
driving
thrusting
pushing
force
injecting
filling
dilate
stretching
lingering
expanding
bouncing
reaming
elongate
enlarge
unfolding
yielding
sternly
firmly
tightly
harshly
thoroughly
consistently
precision
accuracy
carefully
demanding
strictly
restriction
meticulously
scrupulously
rigorously
rim
edge
lip
circle
band
encircling
enclosing
surrounding
piercing
curl
lock
twist
coil
spiral
whorl
dip
wet
soak
madly
wildly
noisily
rowdily
rambunctiously
decadent
degenerate
immoral
indulgent
accept
take
invite
nook
indentation
niche
depression
indent
depress
delay
tossing
writhing
flailing
squirming
rolling
wriggling
wiggling
thrashing
struggling
grappling
striving
straining
Appetite - craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal
Arouse - agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up
Assault - attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound Beautiful - admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting Brutal - atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild Burly – able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed Carnal - animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean Dangerous - alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous Dark - atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched Delicious - enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty Ecstasy - delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled Ecstatic - delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild Erotic - amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing Gasp - catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded Heated - ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous Hunger - appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst Hungry - avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting Intense - forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous Liquid - damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping Lithe - agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry Moan - beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl Moving - (exciting,) affecting, effective arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling Need - compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen Pain - ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart Painful - aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded Perverted - aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile Pleasurable - charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent Pleasure - bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven Rapacious- avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering Rapture - bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy Rigid - adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering Sudden - abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning Thrust - (forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel (push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick Thunder-struck - amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback Torment - agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe Touch - (physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap (mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize Wet - bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water Wicked - abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched Writhe - agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank
//MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS - HERE IS THE ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM OF FINDING THAT RIGHT WORD!!!!!
I’ve reblogged it before, and I’ll reblog it again
“I don’t remember much Except your lips between my teeth and the color gray I remember tracing your freckles and tattoos and everything you never knew There was ice and alcohol Your smile through the smoke There was pale violet and snow on my window I remember everything hurt except you And lavender vanilla in the morning I remember dark blues & soft lights I was a hurricane & the walls were closing in I remember dark But dark with you felt different Even with gin on your breath & your breath on my neck I was reckless & I couldn’t fucking stop Then all of a sudden it was red And you weren’t here Pale blue hospital gowns and the color silver Everything was broken and I slept on the couch All I wanted was you And the soft yellow of afternoon light Through the blinds and across your skin Sage colored showers, white sheets, and your still wet skin pressed against mine Everything was clear and soft You were all of the colors And nothing hurt”
— Colours// (via x-mermaidbones-x)
via weheartit
“First admit that you are unhappy. Then admit why. Then understand you need to let go. Allow yourself a moment. Breathe in the moment deeply. Then the healing will begin.”
— Nikita Gill, How to Start Healing
““Why should I be sad? I have lost someone who didn’t love me. But they lost someone who loved them.””
— Unknown
“I don’t want you to be sorry. I don’t want some long-winded apology, you begging on your knees for my forgiveness. I don’t want flowers or cards or remorse in your eyes. I want you to feel the way I felt. I want your chest to crack and your skin to burn and your hands to shake and your teeth to rot. I want you seeing red and losing sleep and crying in the daytime. I want your heart to clench when you hear my name. I want your knees to weaken when our song plays on the radio. I want your eyes to sear when you see our old photographs. Just like mine did. I don’t want sorry. Sorry isn’t what I felt. I want hell.”
— Sorry (via thoseconstellations)
“I don’t remember much Except your lips between my teeth and the color gray I remember tracing your freckles and tattoos and everything you never knew There was ice and alcohol Your smile through the smoke There was pale violet and snow on my window I remember everything hurt except you And lavender vanilla in the morning I remember dark blues & soft lights I was a hurricane & the walls were closing in I remember dark But dark with you felt different Even with gin on your breath & your breath on my neck I was reckless & I couldn’t fucking stop Then all of a sudden it was red And you weren’t here Pale blue hospital gowns and the color silver Everything was broken and I slept on the couch All I wanted was you And the soft yellow of afternoon light Through the blinds and across your skin Sage colored showers, white sheets, and your still wet skin pressed against mine Everything was clear and soft You were all of the colors And nothing hurt”
— Colours// (via x-mermaidbones-x)