After putting off the conversation for far too long, perhaps, my roommate of 3 years and I decided we would not room together our senior year. We've had some problems this year and while none of them were deal breakers, it's good to shake things up and try something new. There was a time earlier this semester when I literally could not bear the thought of having a different roommate and there were times when I wished that I could but not in a I've-had-enough-and-want-out kind of way. We've grown a lot these past three years together and I do not regret a day of it. I'm hoping we will still be able to be close, but a part of me can't help but feel like this is a break-up. We knew it would come eventually, if not now then when we graduated. It would be a shock to the system to live with a person everyday for four years and then suddenly never see them again except maybe on special occasions.
She has helped me grow in my walk with the Lord and I hope she would say the same of me. I remember a night when we knelt on the floor next to her bed and she sobbed with a broken and heavy heart and all I could think to do was wrap my arms around her shoulders and pray over her. I remember nights when she would finally come upstairs and it would wake me up and I'd flop around passive aggressively until she finally got in bed and I would get so ill with her but never mention it. The very first night we spent in the dorm as freshmen, I went to sleep and she ate chips and fell asleep with her lamp on. I work up around 4 and had to awkwardly reach over her to turn it off. And I asked her to never eat chips when I'm trying to sleep again and to this day she has not. Not everyday has been wonderful, but by a landslide I could not have asked for a better roommate experience these three years.
The LORD really opened a door yesterday. While the roommate conversation was looming over my head, He showed me once again that He provides. My biggest reservation about going our separate ways was not having someone to room with and having to do roommate roulette. Granted after doing that every summer for cabinmates and having a good experience as a freshman, the idea frightened me. My current roommate knows me and what I like and my routines. Change is scary. But at lunch one of my friends that I respect and admire deeply mentioned that she didn't have a roommate for next semester. I am excited to get to know her more my last year at school and I hope that we can pour into each other and have a wonderful year.
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