don't leave

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i want to be normal

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im just so tired

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i need to sleep

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i truly only feel at ease locking away all my individuality and molding myself into the friend people want me to be, but i can't be molded by these people. i know its unhealthy but i don't have a personality, i don't contribute anything as a friend. i can't do anything but follow orders bc i only feel happy when the other person is satisfied with how i act

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i just wish i didn't exist

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i want to block everyone. i dont want close friends. i feel like everyone hates me. i can't handle friendships bc i know i'm unlovable and so fucking annoying. i hate myself and i think everyone hates me. maybe theyre all shit talking me. maybe they all think the worst of me. i don't trust anyone, i really don't. i don't know how to trust someone and i feel like i want to run away

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i went from being super emotionally unstable to the point of immense imbalances of emotion for a single person at 14 to becoming so numb to the point of suicidal thoughts at 17. can i just be normal?

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no i can't open up to people bc i can't trust anyone, no i don't know why i can't trust people i'm just super paranoid

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wish i weren't so ugly and unlovable. i don't have a single good trait going for me

i rly hope i die soon. i want to die before i'm 20, i'm not sure if i even want to life past 18

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maybe i'll try cutting again....i need my dad to not be home though.....

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5 seconds away from a complete mental breakdown i think

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i wish i jumped off my balcony in freshman year of high school. i wish i ended my life before i turned so fucked up and useless

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i think i hate how i'm living. i just hate it all. everything feels so meaningless and wasteful. i don't have any ambitions i don't have any reason to live, i can't find enjoyment in most things other than videos and reading and i just...nothing's making me happy. i hate myself, i hate my lifestyle, i hate college, i hate being involved with people. i just.....i'm just tired of this all

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back here again bc im feeling suicidal

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my brain keeps telling me to claw at my neck and rip out my hair lol let me sleep, and stop showing my bugs when i close my eyes i feel gross and i cant sleep because of it

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i want to be used even if its by someone older than me i think. but thats just one intrusive thought from tonight.

todays just the day i'm suicidal and traumatized

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i have so many things to say but at this point no words come out im just, im just so tired