hello and welcome! i'm jack (jacqueline, she/her), a 22-year-old formula racing fanatic from sweden. i support most drivers, but my current favorite drivers are oscar piastri, lando norris, liam lawson, ollie bearman, clement novalak, dino beganovic, paul aron, pepe marti, luke browning, and many others.
i currently write for f1, f2 and f3. my requests are always open, but i can not promise that i will write every request i get.
latest work: paul aron qatar blurb (popstar!reader)
f1 masterlist || f2/f3 masterlist || blurb masterlist ll rec blog ll hockey blog
1.5k celly ll 3k celly ll paul aron f1 reserve & f2 race winner
CURRENTLY WRITING:
perfectly fine โ ollie bearman x reader / paul aron x reader, ongoing series
(untitled) โ jack doohan x reader, smut
ยฉ httpiastri 2025 โ please do not copy, repost, translate or plagiarize my works on this or any other platform.
(my silly little opinions on all f1/2/3 drivers + some freca, f4, f1 academy, indycar & elms drivers โ)
(i respect lewis as a person and as a driver, and i agree that he's done a lot of good stuff in his career. but i still dislike him ๐ sorry)
i really freaking miss 2023 and 2024 feeder series and i know i should just be happy i got to experience it all but i'm emotional tonight so i'm really upset that it's over and likely will never be as good as it was those years :( and it will never be as important to me as it was then abd im really thankful that i was there to see it all and im super super grateful for everyone on here who shared my passion for it those years :(<3
no matter what happens todayโฆ. i am so extremely proud of oscar and what he accomplished this year, such an incredible performance for someone so young in just his third year of f1. suchhhh a great season, he has fought so well and i hope he feels happy + proud no matter what happens ๐งก i do understand that it would suck to not have it play out the way we want, and disappointment is both natural and acceptable โ but when the disappointment settles, i hope he can focus on the pride of this amazing performance instead!! ๐งก
i cant help but think back to his rookie season (which was just two years ago, btw!!) and how much he has grown in such a short amount of time. i never would've guessed he'd be fighting for his first title this earlyโฆ i knew it would happen but this soon? after the start of 2023 that mclaren had? it truly makes my head spin but wow how lucky i feel to get to experience this <33
he has been the source of so much of my happiness these past few years... without him, without this blog and without all of you guys on here, i genuinely don't know where i would be today. a first title today would be so nice but i am in no rush, i trust that it will end up happening sooner or later anyway. so either way, i will be the proudest person on this planet tonight. โค๏ธ
birthdays apparently don't have to be so rough, as long as you spend them with the right people.
pairing: bc!will smith x reader
genre: fluffy/angsty/comfort
word count: 3k
warnings: birthday anxiety i guessssss
author's note: my very own birthday tradition. the past two years, i wrote f1/2 fics, but this year it's will smith hockey. as usual, this is extremely self-indulgent and based on a lot of the feelings i experience around this day (and just in general). sadly, my birthday isn't during the hockey season, but one can still pretend, right?
the clock was just a few minutes past one when you heard the front door to will's apartment unlock. you didn't even bother hiding what you were doing, settling for just patting away the tear stains on your cheeks as you listened for the sound of his familiar footsteps; heavy but unhurried, the kind you could recognize anywhere.
"i'm sorry i couldn't get away before now," will called out from the hallway, followed by the thud of his duffel bag against the floor. "coach had like three hours of extra tape to watch, and then some of the guys kept fooling around just to waste time, andโฆ"
your boyfriend trailed off after walking into the bedroom, taking in the sight of your tear-rimmed eyes and red nose. his expression faltered.
"hey," he started, tossing his jacket in the direction of his desk chair before stepping up to the bed. "what are you doing?"
you chuckled weakly, putting on a little smile as you waved the letter in your hand once. when his eyes locked in on the paper, he realized that it was not just any letter. it was the letter.
the birthday letter.
as in, the letter you wrote for yourself 365 days ago and haven't looked at since.
birthdays have never really been your thing. or, at least not your own. you have no problems with celebrating birthdays of friends or giving them the love they deserve. but when it comes to your own birthday, it's a bit of a different story.
for most of your life, you've been battling all kinds of emotions regarding your birthday. anxiety the days leading up to it, disappointment the day of it. resentment, not specifically at the people around you but at the situation in general. talking about this always made you feel misunderstood or ungrateful, because no one ever cared enough to actually listen to what you meant. you're silly, they'd say. of course you want to celebrate a birthday, it's your day. everyone likes their birthdays.
so why didn't you?
the guilt sat like a heavy rock in the pit of your stomach every year. it felt like people saw you as spoiled, as someone who couldn't appreciate the things they were given โ being told to just be happy and thankful and move on.
if everyone else can enjoy their birthdays, why can't i? the question haunted you for years, and eventually, you searched for a way to ease the tension. a way to take out the guilt, to smooth the surface of your otherwise rocky emotions.
a therapist recommended writing birthday letters. little notes to yourself, written on your birthday and opened only exactly one year later. she suggested it as a way to blow off just a little steam, recommended to keep it light and easy, to write about current happenings and hopes for the future.
you found your own way with it. a lot of the time, you poured your heart out into these letters. more often than not, the letter-writing sessions ended in a steady flow of tears down your cheeks, and the letter-reading sessions were no different.
thus, the state in which will found you now was hardly surprising.
"it really is that way, huh?" he asked, expression soft as he slipped down onto the edge of the bed. he had never yet gotten to actually experience your reaction to a birthday letter, only heard you talk about them, so this was a new thing to him.
"i'm okay," you told him, swatting in the air with the letter still in your hand. "it's just... emotional, you know?"
he tilted his head to the side. "i don't," he answered. his brutal honesty was one of your favorite things about your boyfriend, the way he never pretended and played nice just for the good of it. he wanted to understand, to know you in a way no one else had even attempted to. it was refreshing and infuriating at the same time; having to explain your emotions was never an easy task for you, but somehow, he made it worth it. "tell me."
"i, uh... it's interesting to... see how far i've come. how much has changed in one year." you took a deep breath before swallowing down the lump in your throat. "and yet, how much i'm in the same place."
"the same college? weird."
you slapped his arm playfully, yet he didn't even flinch. "i mean, how many of my emotions still remain." you looked away. "how much of the same i still am." how terrible i still feel about something as trivial as a goddamn birthday.
"well, i'm no expert in this," he started, shrugging his shoulders. "but that sounds reasonable to me. it seems fairly normal to have the same feelings and thoughts as you had just one year ago. we don't go around becoming brand new people in such a short time."
"sure, but... it would make sense to change at least a little bit, right?"
the sound of his sigh met your ears. "hey, look at me," he commanded, yet his voice was more gentle than firm. your eyes flickered over to his in an instant. "you have changed, i know it." one of his hands came up to cup your jawbone. "i think that... maybe you just don't see it yourself, because to you, the changes feel small. but a million small things will still make a lot of difference in the end, you know. you're doing good."
you closed your eyes, tipped your head back slightly, and took a deep breath, before allowing the words to fully settle.
i have changed.
i'm doing good.
a certain type of warmth filled your stomach. it wasn't just the regular giddiness that usually came with having your drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend near. no, this was something different; feeling seen, known and accepted was so uncommon to you that whenever will spoke to you like this, it made your heart want to jump out of your chest.
even though it would likely only worsen the situation with your overly excited heart, you opened your arms wide for the sweet curly-haired man in front of you. he wasted no time throwing himself into them, draping his own arms around your body as he held you tight. after a long moment of silence, he said your name once, and when you hummed as an answer, you were already sure of what was about to come. "i know you don't really want to hear this-"
you couldn't help but cut him off. "and i know you can't help yourself."
"true. nonetheless." he parted ever so slightly, brushing a kiss to your temple before looking into your eyes. "happy birthday, gorgeous."
another habit โ routine, ritual, tradition โ you'd picked up over the years was making sure you were extra busy on your birthday. volunteering at a festival in town, stacking up on extra shifts at work, organizing your closet; anything to distract your mind.
if you had time to stop and think about what day it was, you were more likely to break down. therefore, eliminating all breaks in your schedule, you reduced the risk of a panic attack by a mile.
this year, your distraction of choice was an eagles hockey game. unfortunately, the game didn't start until late, which meant that you had several hours to fill before puck drop. then again, you'd already had your birthday schedule filled out for many days.
ten am โ phone call with your parents. yes, the ones who just happened to be out of state today. again. what a coincidence! not only did they spend most of the call talking about their holiday activities without asking about your plans for the day, but they also only mentioned your birthday once towards the end, in a way that felt more like a box they needed to check before they could hang up rather than something they genuinely wanted to talk about.
noon โ lunch date with that friend of yours from your organic chemistry course. the one who knew about you wanting to keep your birthday 'lowkey', and who stayed away from mentioning it, up until she offered to pay for your food to honor the day. you declined, a bit too quickly, and realized after the conversation moved on that you'd been sitting there braced like something might break.
two pm โ studying for that physics final in two weeks. formulas and sample questions never were as interesting as when they were used to distract you from other thoughts. at least until you looked through your lecture notes and found an assignment due today; you already handed in your answers a few days ago, so you weren't worried about it. however, reading today's date still made your heart drop to your stomach. and then, the one time you let your eyes wander, you caught the notification of a text on your phone. another happy birthday message you wanted to ignore from an old friend. you shoved the phone face-down on the desk, tightened your grip on the pen, and forced yourself back into the formulas. the day was still chasing you, but you weren't about to let it catch you yet.
five pm โ finally starting to get ready for the game. you followed your usual ritual; makeup first, hair second, outfit third. you went for one of will's old team usa jerseys, immediately finding comfort in the familiar feeling of the fabric against your skin. then you laced up your boots and pulled on a jacket, the final parts of your armor.
the schedule barely gave you any time to think, and that was how you liked it. it's just like any other day. that way, you only winced slightly when someone strolling past called out, "hey, isn't today your birthday?" without stopping.
the walk to conte forum in the evening was as lively as ever. the chatter of students heading the same way, the school band marching energetically, the hollers of street vendors selling coffee to help you escape the cold. entering the rink, your heart finally softened; it no longer threatened to jump out of your chest at the mere thought of what day it was. and still, even when you did think about it, all of the commotion made you remember that this day doesn't have to be about you.
it was clear to anyone walking into the building that today was battle of boston day, nothing else. the air was always different when BU came to visit; colder, sharper, tenser. it fit you perfectly. the lights in the ceiling were too bright, the sound of pucks slamming against the boards was too loud, and everyone was too up in their own business to notice or think anything about you.
you sat in your regular seat, with the same friends as always, and discussed all of the usual topics. did you hear what jacob did in the locker room after last week's game? did you see jamie's new haircut? how many fights do you think we'll see tonight? just how it always was.
just like any other day.
the team skated out on the ice, and in the midst of the maroon-gold ocean was will. your eyes followed him as he made his way around the ice, until he slowed down right in front of your section. his eyes found yours with practiced ease, and he held your gaze for a few moments before his focused expression turned into a grin. he shot you a sweet wink before making his way back to the team just in time for the national anthem to be played. for a second, you felt seen โ it bought you a breath, a moment's reprieve โ before the day caught up again as the moment disappeared and the arena started singing. not that you minded, though.
it was ironic, in a way; how during the one day that's supposed to be for you, you felt the most at ease when the attention was anywhere else. you melted into the chants, the stomping, the chaos, until your birthday wasn't yours anymore โ it was swallowed whole by the roar of conte forum.
winning at home was always celebrated. and today? winning against BU? obviously, that meant the kind of celebrations you couldn't avoid even if you tried to.
the bar, the eagles' regular one, was alive in every corner โย pitchers clinking, fans discussing plays and penalties passionately, music loud enough to make the floor shake. hockey jerseys crowded the booths, the tables, the barstools; maroon and gold spilling into every inch, and combined with the hollers of happy fans, the whole place felt like an echo of the rink.
at your table, though, it was softer. fries going cold on the plate in front of you, half-finished drinks sweating rings onto the wood, will's cap tossed onto the table. your boyfriend's knee pressed into yours under the table, steady and unbothered, like a quiet anchor in the noise.
the guys who knew about your birthday โ gabe, ryan, a few others โ had already dropped by. just a clap on your shoulder, a quick 'happy birthday, hope it's been a good one' tucked between jokes about the game, before they were gone again. no singing, no spectacle. no candles or bartenders making a scene. just simple nods of recognition, easy and light, like they understood without you needing to explain.
the conversations at your table spun fast, mostly about hockey โ recapping goals, chirping about missed calls, arguments over who's actually carried the game. you didn't mind sitting there in silence while they went back and forth; this was their world, their language, and you liked seeing will in it. he laughed along and answered with his laid-back style, his voice cutting through the noise in that easy way of his.
but even with his attention pulled into the circle, he was still with you. his arm stayed draped along the back of your chair for a while, fingertips brushing your shoulder every so often, before he shifted to rest a hand on your thigh, thumb drawing little circles into your skin. when will caught you fiddling with the hem of your โ his โ jersey, he made sure to instead sneak his own hand into yours, to give you something else to focus on.
it was enough to remind you that you weren't invisible here, not to him. and for the first time you could remember, the day didn't feel like it was chasing you. it wasn't a weight or a spotlight or something to outrun. it was just this: a corner table, a few subtle smiles, will's skin against yours.
maybe this was also how birthdays could go. no overwhelming attention, no forced smiles; they could mean quiet togetherness, a love found in the smallest of gestures, and safety in chosen company.
"i have an idea. but if you think it's completely wrong, i won't get upset, i promise."
the words intrigued you as soon as they left will's mouth, and you couldn't help but sit up a bit more straight against his headboard. "tell me," you said, watching him step out of his bathroom and over to the foot of the bed. "it can't be that bad, can it?"
"it could be, you never know." he stayed frozen in place for a few seconds before walking over to your side. he sat down on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath. "i'd like to join in on the letters."
you shook your head instantly. "i've already told you, i don't like anyone to read them-"
"no, i didn't mean it like that!" he explained, turning his entire body towards you. "i meant that... i want to write a letter, too. for you."
you blinked up at him. "for me?"
he nodded. "i think there are things i want you to know in a year from now, too." the little smile on his lips felt hopeful. "if you think it's a bad idea, though, i totally understand and respect it."
you pretended to think for a moment, but you couldn't torture him any longer. "it sounds like a great idea."
his eyes lit up. "really?"
"really." you reached up to cup his cheek with one hand, thumbing away some toothpaste from the corner of his mouth, before giving his cheek a pinch. "come on, scoot closer and i'll give you a paper."
a blanket of serenity lay over the bedroom as you sat there, both completely immersed in your own letters. you knew will was an emotional guy, but you'd never expected him to write this much; he filled out the entire page you ripped from your spiral notebook in mere minutes, as if he'd been pondering what to write all day.
"will i overdo it if i draw a bunch of heart?" he asked once he had the letter all folded up. "is just one enough? i feel like i want to do more."
you folded your own paper in half as you turned to look over at him. "i want to read it," you blurted out, the curiosity getting the best of you. "now."
"no way!" he exclaimed, holding the paper out of your reach when you started pulling at it. "you know the rules. write a letter today, open only in one year."
you crossed your arms over your chest, letting out a little huff. "okay, compromise." you offered him your strongest puppy-eyes-and-pout-combination. "i get to read one line? because it's my birthday?"
his gaze flickered over your face as he tried to make up his mind, before he let out a resigned sigh. "okay, then. first line only."
you held your breath as if the moment itself was fragile, like speaking too loudly might shatter it. it was nothing but a scrap of notebook paper with a couple of words, but the way will looked at you made it feel like way more.
your thumb stilled at the crease as if stalling could protect you. birthdays had always been a mirror you didn't want to look into, a reminder of what felt missing.
but this? this felt like something else entirely; a reflection of how he saw you.
after you'd unfolded the paper, as your eyes fell over that first line of the letter, your hands trembled. for the first time all day, the tears felt different โ not sharp or bitter, but warm.
dont think i have a lot of hockey fans on this blog but i still kinda wanted to reblog this here bcs its a tradition or somethingโฆ i guess you could also read it as just a f1 hockey!au ?? idk lol anyways have a lovely weekend everyone !!! ๐
