I need to vent...and this is a long one so get comfortable. Back in early 2023, I was on top of the world y'all. Bomb ass job, fine ass melanated Goddess by my side, didn't indulge in niggatry at all & pissed off alot of white folk where I worked because I came in the door with much needed credentials💪🏾
Now...in March of 2023, I had left work on a Thursday. I called my brother excitedly because we going to the gun range & then to a BBQ spot nearby it. We end convo & I go back to listening to music on the highway. 9 mins after the call I wake up wedged between trees...lost...no sense of where I am at all. I hear knocking on my window & a gentleman is asking if I'm ok. I get out, sit on the ground & call my family. All I can remember is a red truck cutting me off🤷🏾 No scratches, no injuries at all...thank you God🙌🏾
3 weeks later, I buy Sylvia
Now, I had been driving Sylvia for a cpl of weeks, did some mods motor wise, pipes, etc. So one day I was talking to my mom & in the middle of the convo, I stared into space & started pointing across the room. She thought I was playing because I can be childish sometimes & I like to laugh. When I came to like 3 mins later, I carried on the sentence I paused on as if nothing happened. She concerned, very concerned...but I chalk it up to lack of rest....
A week or two later, I'm heading to work & I tell her bye & I love her. I get in Sylvia & head out. I get on the road and for some reason I head back home. I walk in & she's like "I thought you had to work today?"....she said I just stood there for a min & said "oh shit! Where am I!? I'm supposed to be at work!" I leave & make it to work...and she's concerned...very concerned.
Two days later, I'm heading to work. Now where I was working is out in a place called Ashland with a lot of dark, curvy back roads. So, I ended up crashing in a 100ft+ ditch. Thank God this old lady saw me crash because no one would have known I was down there. All I remember was a dog in the middle of the road. Once again I'm being waken up by someone knocking on my glass but this time my truck was flipped on its side. By the grace of God...no scratches or injuries🙌🏾
Now...this time..I'm feeling something is wrong. I know something is up but hardheaded me decided to move on without seeking an answer....sooo...3 weeks later...I buy another truck. One just like Sylvia but it's a GMC. The day after I bring the truck home, I'm having a convo with my mom about dinner, laughing & joking, and I space out again. This time...it's different. This time I'm tugging at my clothes, I'm stuttering, jerking & I fall out of the chair. When I wake up, I'm being put into an ambulance.
I get to the hospital, still confused, scared. I tried to ask questions but I was really weak. They ran all sorts of tests & could find nothing! So my doctor suggested that I don't drive for a few weeks & get some good rest...cool. I would ride to work with a friend & my ex (yeah...she my ex now) would come get me. A few weeks go by & I'm ready to hit the road with Sierra(my truck). That morning my coworker picks me up & I have an episode in her car like the last one. She knew exactly what it was too...Focal Seizures. Apparently her brother used to have them as a kid...the same characteristics as mine. She got me to work & I worked the day thru but she kept an eye on me.
Sooo...as I was trying to figure out how to deal with this...my stupid ass waited 2 days too late...because as I was sitting at the kitchen table...once again talking & laughing...I had my my first Grand Mal Seizure. I wake up to mom screaming as I'm being put onto a gourney...confused...fighting the paramedics...bleeding from the mouth...head spinning...just a crazy, crazy scene.
The meds they prescribed to me did not help & it had me talking to myself. I couldn't get my work accomplished or correct. They saw the difference in me & let me go due to me being a liability. I told my doctor, and they put me on meds that made me very angry & lash out on ppl. I truly lost touch with the world because of depression & disappointment. I really sat in the house in the dark. I had lost a lot & pushed alot of ppl away. Mind you the seizures pushed those meds out of my body & kept happening. One day I got so angry, I got in Sierra & just drove around. I got in front of my house...and guess what? I had another seizure. Apparently I stomped the gas, drove through 5 yards, 2 gates & hit a parked truck....when I came to...paramedics are telling me I was in a car accident & I'm yelling & screaming I wasn't. I'm fighting everybody & the only person who could calm me down was who??...Mama.
Va Law is with every epilepsy episode, there's a 6 month gap that you can't drive or be behind any motorized vehicle. I don't know how I got them to forgive me for the last one, but they did & made me promise not to do it again. I honored that agreement & worked on what I had broken...me. I fixed what I could with the ppl I pushed away & I got closer to God. They put me on a medicine that had just been released & it was a true miracle. I'm grateful for the experience, no matter how much it sucked, because I'm alive to tell it, with one small scratch on my arm to remember it all.
I'm back on my feet, job 15 mins away from the one I mentioned before. I can drive past all the accident sites without getting mad or sad. My doctors are all truly astonished on how well I'm doing & God favors me...enough said😌
Oh & my new baby I bought in September, once I got the ok to hit the road again, it has me smiling ear to ear🙂↔️
Thank you for reading this💪🏾
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
origamiaround
titsay
prguitarman
janainaart
vaporwave
