currently in class with about 17 minutes left.. itās just been dragging on, iāve been ready for it to end since the second i got inside the class. so. i think we should use this to discuss deep, dark secrets and talk about things we wouldnāt talk about with anyone else. judge free zone, and a keep-ur-mouth-shut-u-tell-no-one-zone, CAPICHE?? capiche.
iāll be the first to start.
so, itās about to be a year soon where Iāve been talking to a potential habibi. see, the thing is this guy actually wants to marry me. he lives in Lebanon and ashamingly enough I met him online. I really didnāt think it would lead to this. i feel like i know his soul and we know how to make each other laugh. my mom knows about him and his whole family loves me. lately, (we just tried to leave class and our pro hoed out the 15 people who were packing up...Ā āweāre going to use all of class timeā like StFU ... ) anyways, we started talking on the phone and i guess getting to know each other more..
BUT.. thereās always a but with me, i guess it has to do with the size of my actual BUTT that it is inclined within me that i have to have lots of BUTS in my life... SIGH ..
I feel conflicted. How do I know if I really want to spend my life with him? To possibly have kids with and raise a family? Am I settling??Ā
Keep in mind, I haveāt met him face to face before. two months from now he will come to study in Canada and thatās we planned to finally see each other (My mom knows lol , i feel guilty not including this part cuz it makes me feel like an undercover hoe)Ā
IDK HUDA IDK HUDA IDK IDK IDK IDK.
Do i like him because I like the attention he gives me? Or do I actually like him? for a while, i thought maybe he was using me to get into the US.. but I talked to him about it and he explained that he had so many opportunities to marry some random chick here but he said NO. he said when he thinks of me he thinksĀ āfuture wife inshallahā.. BRO.. when he says things like this to me (like i miss u, etc etc etc mushy gushy shit) i get like butterflies but i also feel hurt that iām not able to see him and experience life together.
When did we grow up and start dealing with grown up issues???Ā
Me? Zaineb? Thinking about marriage?? TF?? when did this start happening?? Is this real life? HUDA HELP
Queen Z aka Zaineb aka Zanooba aka Future Doctor/PA/Undecided/UnsuccessfulPieceofShit/FutureWife??? omg that sounds weird to say...
Love u bae and cant wait to hear about ur teenage drama soon
lol jk that sounds like im underestimating any trouble u might run into but every problem u have is my problem too, ok? ok.
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