November 24, 2017
I have been struggling with the idea of who deserves to be apart of my life. The saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”, has been popping into my mind. I recently had a falling out with one of my really good friends, over a boy, unfortunately. When I confronted her at the beginning about it, I told myself that this situation was either going to make us or break us. Unfortunately, it broke us. Or so I thought. The boy and I ended up not working. However, this “friend” treated me so poorly that I had decided that I didn’t want her in my life regardless of how the relationship turned out. A couple weeks after I ended the relationship, I was going through a really hard time. This friend found out and reached out to me over text and explained that she understood what I was going through with this boy and that she was there for me if I needed it. She said that she wanted to try to be friends again. I agreed that we should meet and talk after we got back from this break from school. As the week draws to an end, I ask myself how I want this conversation to go. Do I want to accept her back into my life or peacefully reject the friendship? In the beginning, the answer was easy. Peacefully reject the friendship. After things that I have said and things that she has said, I figured the relationship should be over. It wouldn’t feel like an honest friendship if I went on after this. However, I have been fighting new thoughts. I have taken the time to reminisce on the memories we have shared. When I think back to my freshman year of college, I know that she is a part of some of my favorite memories.
In my heart, I want to bring this person back into my life in the same way she was in it before. But I know that if I did this this time, I would be more likely to do it again and again later in my life. This person was in my life in such an important way. When I sit down to have this conversation with this person, I don’t intend to cut her out of my life entirely. I do intend, however, to make clear that our relationship cannot be the same as it was before. She will always hold a special place in my life. This person was in my life for a season but not a lifetime. And that is okay.
There are people who are meant to be constant in our lives but that cannot be everyone. You are the deciding factor. Let that be okay.
Stay tuned.
Ash
