Hey! This is a AOxReader sideblog!! Ask about the AO gang (human versions) and their HCs and I'll be happy to answer. Warning: I DO plan on making some NSFW content, so if that's not ur cup of tea then you can be on ye way. Especially if ur a minor, pls dni on the NSFW posts please and thank you. DNI: terfs proshippers P*dos lgbt-phobics racists sexist yada yada.
DNI: P3do, Proshippers, Incest, Terfs, LGBTQ-phobes, racist, sexist, etc etc.
I have decided "screw it!" And made an Xreader blog for the Annoying orange, why? Cuz I have LOTSS of fun HCs for the lads that I wanna share w/ the world.
And let's make something clear, Little Apple and Marshmellow aren't minors. Lots of people think that bc their smol, but it's canon that their in the same age group as the rest of the gang (except grampa lemon obvs), they are smol ADULTS. So it's not P*do or Child P*rn, got that? Good!
Things I will do:
Romantic hcs
Chill HCs
If u want to know any canon facts, feel free to ask!
NSFW HCs (yes, did I stutter?), do I also do fetish HCs? Depends on the fetish, you can ask me.
...Body horror (Orange keeps his unnecessarily long tounge in his human form cuz yes)
Short 5 or 8 (or sm like that) paragraph long one-shots.
Things I WON'T do:
Incest
P*do
Abuse
Rape
Long fics
Some fetishes (like I said, depends on the fetish)
(They will be hoomans with the same cartoon physics as their food counterparts here)
Sfw hcs:
Orange will sit on pear's lap while the latter is reading, and he will sometimes fall asleep on him (and Pear won't admit this but even tho Orange's sleep-motorboating is loud as hell, he thinks its oddly cute)
Pear plays string instruments (its canon, he has a ukulele in his room and made a whole rock music video), he practices and even sings a bit when he has time. And Orange listens in with genuine adoration, which he'll deny of you call him out on it.
Speaking of, we don't talk enough about Orange getting flustered and shy and trying to deny his crush. That's fricking adorable, I need that injected into my veins. Seeing the Prince of Puns with his usually carefree and prideful attitude crumble into a stammering pathetic (yknow, in an attractive way) red-faced mess is awesome 👍👍 And even tho he's usually like that with passion, I think if you ask if he flirts w/ pear he'll immediately get nervous af.
Just like with Passion, He'll (in a panic-y manner) tell you he does NOT like pear that way. And Pear will do the same, except probably a more controlled response than the former. They know the kitchen crew well and there's no way in hell the crew will let them live it down.
I imagine both of them are touch-starved, I mean come on.
Whose more protective? Pear usually only worries about Orange if he's in life threatening danger, if Orange survives Pear will scold him while clinging to his torso ("ORANGE YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" kinda thing) meanwhile AO is jus ":))))". Any other danger he doesn't worry about (actually, he worries more about whose threatening orange.). AO, well, he might not show it, but Pear in any danger that's out of the show's control is a big deal. Seeing Pear get physically hurt isn't the end of the world (even in the human world, they get blown up and cut all the time for show. Orange pretty much just gives his peers medical attention after they're done filming), but if someone were to..attack Pear in a sort of way, that's a different story. Orange will get in-between his bookworm-buddy and whoever is bothering him and to what he does best, annoy the unwanted pest! If the person is still persistent (or 'pear'sistent), Orange even goes so far as to stage a little accident. After that, he'll check if Pear is okay and stays beside him for the rest of the day (and Pear has gratitude for that).
Due to his antics, negative feedback is practically the norm for Orange. He's so used to getting yelled at or snarky remarks, that receiving anything positive will catch him off guard (sad, I know). Pear catches on to this and finds ways to show his love in public (without people knowing). He started small, letting Orange hold his hand, leaning into Orange whenever they're next to eachother, watching him sleep, Pear doesn't exactly need to worry about personal space when it comes to AO. Heck, he could lay on the latter and it wouldn't cause any discomfort.
These little gestures left Orange stunned. Not sure how to react to genuine affection, especially from someone who denies their bond. Not complaining though! He tries to laugh it off and make the most of this. Orrrr he'll tease Pear about it, win-win for him either way.
Obviously, Orange shows his affection in a very different way...I think that's self explanatory. He jokingly flirts and teases whenever he can, making sure to keep it ridiculous to create the illusion that his feelings for Pear are just platonic and AO is just screwing around with him like always (cuz if it seems very forward, people will think its a joke, right?).
Sometimes, Orange will casually show caring feelings (such as affirmations) Pear and mean it. And since he's almost never self-aware (trust me Orange has NO clue) of how his words affect others, he won't even take note of Pear's dumbfounded blushing expression. In short, Orange can be very charismatic without knowing it.
Now of course, Pear starts to take it a litttllle further. Remember that Pear might be awkward and basic, but he's as smart as Orange is noisy and can read him like a book. So making him blush is easy. Things like gifts (example: t-shirts w/ jokes on them), hugs, and praise do the trick. Or teasing Orange back, that's very effective! And it's super fun turning the tables on AO.
Now for the NSFW. If ur a minor and haven't left already, I suggest u skeddadle! (idk how to warn you about the certain things ur gonna read, well I do, but Idk how to put it in words, so all I can say is brace yourself)
NSFW hcs
First off, I HC that both these mfs are switches of some sort.
Pear is a pretty casual switch, doesn't mind getting dominated or being the one to dom. While he's not exactly the most romantic (and he's definitely a little self-conscious), he makes sure the session is at least decent (and it is!).
Now if Orange gets nervous and red in the face with just hanging out with his crushes, imagine what even thinking about having sex w/ them does! Sure, I imagine AO has experience with casual sex and he can definitely do something with his tongue. But if the deed he's doing has him in a vulnerable position you bet Orange is gonna bury his beet-red face in his hands like the embarrassed whimpering loser he is (i love him for that). Orange is definitely down to fuck, just shy af, yknow?
Despite his shyness, the Prince of puns is a committed mother fucker, a people pleaser at heart (in his own questionable way). A service switch (a bit subby) who won't tap out till the other is completely satisfied, even if his brain is 0.2 seconds away from frying (which, according to Canon, can happen). Orange doesn't even care about getting pleasured back, his s/o could leave him with blue balls for all he cared. Just takes pride in being the reason the person feels so good.
But of course, he's not gonna complain if he receives it. Orange will practically melt and squirm and might even nut on the spot (keep in mind he's not a very stable individual whose SO not used to affection so yeah its a lil overwhelming) from touch.
Kay let's talk about AO's kinks and preferences! Now I feel like the shit that happens in the show would leave him as a little bit of a masochist (in canon, one of the Christmas song its said Orange got a whip, a FUCKING WHIP), or just laughing from physical pain in general. Whipping, biting, spanking, scratching, scalding water, any looney tunes shit Orange responds with lustful giggles (though he would never admit to anyone that this stuff is arousing to him.). Especially with anything involving explosions, the scorching burnt sensation on AO's crotch makes him see stars. Getting cut, however, doesn't sit well with him (wonder why).
Something I noticed in canon. Passion Fruit is a blackbelt in pretty much everything (plus she's a secret agent), and Pear is a blackbelt in Juice-jitsu (according to the episode Wickedpedia). Further confirming Orange loves a partner who can kick his ass.
Like I said before, Orange gets weak in the knees for praise. Tell him 'how he's doing such a good job and he's such a good boy' and he'll fucking overheat. Tries to return the favor in the form of puns, because this is the Annoying Orange. But if you caress some of his weak spots (ex: his neck, face, mouth, behind the ears, torso, and of course his dick) with your mouth then the joke will be cut short or forgotten all together (open mouth kisses are especially effective). I think receiving puns that are praises will instantly turn him on, no doubt.
As for preferences, Orange strikes me as a thigh and legs guy. Likes having his head straddled between the thighs, or having his crotch rubbed by a leg.
AO's favorite thing to do during sex is DEFINITELY oral! I mean, everyone knows his most powerful weapon is his mouth (and not just verbally), especially with a tongue with a "ton"gue of length and dexterity! And if his human!au tongue is as long and strong as his canon tongue, then that sucker can double as wet bondage (if ur into that shit). And yes, I do think Orange likes having his face sat on (and it shut him up so win-win)
Ohhhhh and I forgot to mention! This is the Annoying Orange we're talking about, it doesn't take an expert to know he's gonna be as noisy in the sheets as he is in the streets. I'm talking high pitched moans, yelps, whimpers combined with laughter, screams, Orange might even cry a little ngl. But yeah that bastards gonna wail and its gonna be embarrassing.
I could go on forever but I don't wanna dump everything at once. Hope u like it!
I'll try. Remember I like writing things short (no size joke intended...or is there?), I'll see what I can do. Marshy will be a humanoid alien in this (considering that they are alien in canon).
Note: since there's continuity errors ab LA being illiterate (he used to read comics! They did him so dirty 😔) I hc that he has prescription glasses that look like sunglasses.
"Whooof, its done." Little Apple was finally done re-labling his monster truck, from "midget" to "little". Even after he was called the correct label, LA's vehicle still had it written on. It was bothering him for a good while.
But now, after lots of spray paint (and spelling mistakes), he was finished..and exhausted. Little Apple let out a long sigh and leaped into his truck (he's been training to jump really high for personal reasons), hitting the floor of it with an "oof!". After grabbing his sunglasses (actually prescription glasses), LA sat in the driver's seat, pulled out a comic book and leftover burrito, and...something was missi-
"Little Apple! Hiii~!" A small voice squeaked from outside, Marshy. They climbed into the truck (Noone know how they did) and crawled next to their companion. "What are you reading?" They asked. "Aquaman!" Little Apple replied, taking a bite outta his burrito, not taking his eyes of the page, not even when he felt a certain squishy body pressed into his side. Marshmellow then snuggled in even closer, "You look tired, did Orange come by?" They asked.
LA gave a chuckle, "No, he's making another gaming video. Another "Grimace shake" one." He then gave a silent Thank Boedigheimer for keeping Orange busy enough to leave Little A alone today. "Jus renamed my monster truck and it took a while, is all." Took another bite of his burrito. Marshy squeaked "I saw," then paused and wore a guilty expression as if they were to blame, "you...spelled "Little" wrong.".
Little A choked on his burrito, "WHAT?!" He turned to Marshmellow in disbelief, "again?! Whats it say?". They replied "It says "Lit Le"." The guilt turned to their trademark radiant smile "Oh! But- I think that's better!". LA calmed down a bit, "Y'think so? It does sound cooler..".
"Yeah! It has a sort of flare, like when you put rainbow sprinkles on cupcakes!"
Little Apple let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, "well anyways, it took a while and I'm exhausted." He looked at his best friend with a smile, Thanking Dane once again. This time, for giving him such a sweet and loving partner.
"Wanna join me?" Little A said, watching their face somehow light up even more. "Sure!"
_________
Not perfect, rushed. But fun to make! Hope you enjoy!
I KNOW you already did like, pearasion dynamics and everything but, i was curious on what other ships you have, your thoughts on them and their dynamics as well !!
silly goose
Sure!
Marshapple (smol violent hoes. Sunshine and sunshine protector)
