human at heart

[humanatheart]

In 2009, I moved to Pakistan and ended up staying for ten years. I was just a kid back then, so I had no idea what the culture was like or how people acted. I was super curious, but the language barrier made it hard to connect. To figure things out, I started watching how people moved and acted, and eventually, I just picked up the language naturally even though people used to make fun of me while I was learning. After a few years, I started working. Over the decade, I held four different jobs, and each one introduced me to totally different personalities. This is where I really learned how people treat "outsiders." The "Uneducated" Group: These were often the kindest, most loving, and most generous people I met. The "Educated" Group: Sadly, many people from wealthy or "good" families were judgmental and full of prejudice. Looking back, I realize now that a lot of people didn't treat me very well. But coming from a broken home, I already had a "backbone" as strong as my past. I’ve matured a lot since then, and those experiences shaped who I am today. The biggest lesson I took away? Be careful who you let into your life. Choose people who choose you back without the judgment or the bad energy. I’m actually headed back to Pakistan for a visit soon! I’m so excited to see the people who truly loved and cared for me. To anyone going through something similar: hang in there. There’s always a lesson in the struggle. Love you! 😘

[humanatheart]

I recently watched Wuthering Heights, and it didn’t really live up to my expectations. The movie feels very different from the book, and it was way more sexualized than I expected. It honestly felt like a story that’s been loved and read for over 100 years got kind of butchered. That said, Margot and Jacob were amazing. Their acting was 10/10. And honestly, the only thing I really appreciate about this movie is that Charli made a whole album inspired by it.

[humanatheart]

My mind is in a constant tug-of-war. I need real brain stimulation. A good, interesting conversation could easily get me going, whether it’s about whatever the fuck is happening to the world or just life in general. I like people who are deeply connected to themselves. People who are so light to be around, but when they speak your eyes just sparkle because you know it’s coming from somewhere real and it actually means something. I only have a few people in my life like that, and I don’t think they realize how much I value the time they give me when they open up and say what’s on their mind. This will probably be my last entry for the month. I’m about to get really busy for the next few weeks. I hope we all have a good time here until then. And to all my new followers, thank you. It’s nice having this space with you. 😉

[humanatheart]

Thank you my sweet sweet baby cousin 🤍🤍🤍

[humanatheart]

For me, the brain is the sexiest thing about a person. Like when you’re talking to someone intelligent and they explain something in a way that just clicks, and you catch yourself staring because, damn, that kind of mind is attractive.

[humanatheart]

new unread books for 2026 - the goal is 40 books for the next year. I hope to get the motivation to finish it all 📚🫠

[humanatheart]

Belonging nowhere but here

I don't think I belong anywhere. Every place I've been and every soul I've to meet feels like a thread in a much larger design. I don't know who I am without the weight of these experiences shaping me, or if purpose would even exist without them. Maybe I was never meant to belong to places or people at all. Maybe I ONLY BELONG TO MYSELF. here, now.

[humanatheart]

-a soft landing

" arriving somewhere emotionally without being shattered by the fall "

In life- it's about moving through change, failure, uncertainty, or endings with some form of grace. You may still fall, lose balance, or get hurt, but not in a way that breaks you. A soft landing means having enough self-awareness, resilience, support or acceptance that when things don't work out, you don't lose yourself. It's learning to adapt rather than crash.

In love- it's about loving without abandoning yourself. It's choosing relationships where vulnerability doesn't equal destruction. Even if love ends, you're met with honesty, respect, and emotional safety instead of betrayal, confusion, or silence. It's when affection doesn't leave you bruised, questioning your worth, or struggling to stand back up alone.

On a soul level, a soft landing is about HOW YOU CATCH YOURSELF. It's trusting that even if you leap and things don't go as planned, you will land somewhere kinder than fear led you to believe. It's the quiet hope that love and life don't have to hurt violently to be real.

Sometimes, the deepest soft landing isn't another person. It's finally becoming GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.

love,

J

[humanatheart]

I don’t know if I should believe it, but my smartwatch keeps calling me neutral, day after day.

As if a screen could measure the quiet war inside my chest.

Some days I understand it. Others, it feels like a lie.

What I feel isn’t calm, and it isn’t peace.

It’s the constant pull of breath that never fully arrives.

An unnamed ache.

A hollow darkness that sits inside me, wide and quiet, like something missing that never learned how to leave.

Maybe that emptiness is what passes as neutral.

But I don’t want this in-between.

I don’t want to exist untouched by my own feelings.

I would choose pain over numbness, every time.

At least pain proves I’m still here, still capable of feeling all of it.

[humanatheart]

-living out loud is both terrible and beautiful. It's terrible because there's a vulnerability to it. It's beautiful because there's vulnerability to it. It's much safer and nicer and innocuous to remain unseen and silent. But in this way we close ourselves off from the world, and possibly from our own deep selves

Sue Monk Kidd

[humanatheart]

The nostalgic feeling comes from knowing I got to experience life before everything turned digital. I listened to the radio, talked with my friends about life and our purpose, learned how to ride a bicycle, and truly understood what it meant to be carefree as a child. I feel so fortunate to have lived through those moments, and my heart grows fuller every time I remember them.

[humanatheart]

There is a quiet sense of satisfaction in knowing that there are so many versions of me scattered across the universe. I feel each of them. Déjà vu lingers around me, a constant tug of war, shifting from one self to another. Am I the original, or just another fragment, a small piece meant for something bigger and more meaningful? Whatever the answer is, it brings me comfort. I do not feel so alone.