Hi I'm Kat ( ´ ∀ `)ノ she/hers | writer | gif maker | 29 | personal: rydenkat minors and ageless blogs dni! doing so will result in a block Ask box status: general: open requests: closed, but feel free to still send in requests salty anons: go fuck yourself 🤗
hi ♥ i'm kat. i like writing angst and making janky gifs. here's a gif of a scene that i need to rewatch on a daily basis or i will lose my mind
about me: 29, she/they, coping through irl by writing levi angst, third culture kid/abc, AuDHD, levi ackerman's sugar baby by day and his cumslut by night (✿◡‿◡)
STATUS: insane girlie hours 😩
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{{ Chapter 8: January I | Chapter 10: March I }}
Chapter Directory
mutual pining??!?!?!
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✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au
✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence.
✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, alcohol, college-typical parties, floche being gross
✧ word count ➼ ~5k
"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!"
Oluo came barging into the classroom like a freight train, yelling at the top of his lungs. The Honors Society general members hadn't even come in yet, so the only ones that were forced to experience the unrequited enthusiasm were Gunther, Petra, and you.
"God, Oluo, you're going to perpetuate this headache I'm rapidly developing," you grumbled as you shut your eyes and rubbed at your forehead.
"You're usually just as enthusiastic about this, prez'!"
It was true. In the past, you were stressed, but also quite excited about Valentine's Day. It was a day that was generally guaranteed to be dedicated to your romantic partner and used to carry heavy significance in your life, but that was before your relationship with Zack imploded. It wasn't even that you missed him. It was just that experiencing being single on Valentine's Day for the first time in years made your mood bounce back and forth all over the place.
"Well, I guess I'm not feeling it today," you said with a sigh. "Come on, let's get set up before the freshmen start coming in."
You brought the box of Nicolo's pastries over to the innermost wall of the classroom and began setting them on the plastic trays you had bought from the nearby dollar store.
You were more than happy moping by yourself in the corner, so you found yourself pursing your lips when you heard Petra walk over. She went up to you and helped set up some of the utensils in plastic cups.
"You're grumpy because of Zack, aren't you?"
Petra was perceptive only when you didn't want her to be. You paused and a frown appeared on your face as you looked over towards her.
"This is what you decide to talk about?"
"There's nothing wrong with being single," she said with a shrug.
You groaned as you turned away to continue setting up the pastries, being a bit rougher with them compared to how you were handling them a few minutes ago.
"You think I don't know that, Petra?" you snapped. "If this is all you're going to talk about, Oluo needs plenty of help getting the drinks set up."
"I'm just saying," she responded, her tone still gentle despite your hostility, "just because you're single doesn't mean you have to be miserable today."
You shut your eyes and took a deep breath to keep yourself from snapping further at your friend. She really did have your best interests in mind, although that didn't help your mood.
"I get it, Petra," you said through clenched teeth. "Please change the topic or go help Oluo. I'm really not in the mood to be talking about this."
You watched Petra walk away through the corner of your eye. Although your mood wasn't great to begin with, it was now officially ruined. Part of you felt bad for snapping at her when she was only trying to help you feel better. If this was a few months ago, it was likely that you'd just give her a half-hearted smile before moving on. You didn't know what was up with you.
You weren't too preoccupied with getting into a relationship of any sort at this point, but it was still annoying being forced to spend the day watching other couples be happy next to each other. A part of you was envious, with another part of you being simply annoyed by the blatant PDA surrounding you for the next few hours.
You knew you had to prepare yourself if you were going to have anything even remotely close to having a good time at the party you were planning on attending tonight. It was Valentine's Day themed, which was already off-putting, but you felt obligated to go.
Staying in, watching a television show, and ruminating about how miserable you were sounded more appealing, but you didn't want to be the only one in your cohort that didn't go to the party. Whether or not they were all actually going was up in the air, but you still felt a social obligation to attend, whether you liked it or not.
~~~~~
“Got any fun plans tonight, Levi?”
Levi effectively ignored Nicolo’s question as he continued pumping out the orders he was receiving for his station. Levi was like a well-oiled machine working his station, getting orders out at speeds most people couldn’t comprehend.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” he grumbled.
His speed and ability to multi-task and fulfill orders was much needed on a day like today: Valentine’s Day. He didn’t particularly care for the “holiday”, but the café served Valentine’s Day themed lattes for the overzealous undergrads that were trying to woo whoever had piqued their interests at the time before breaking it off in 2-3 weeks after the honeymoon phase passed. The café was obnoxiously red and pink. He couldn’t wait for it to be over.
Not only did his shift change, but he also had to suffer through seeing couples show off distasteful PDA. If he saw one more couple rubbing noses and kissing each other in the doorway, he was going to gouge his own eyes out.
“Yeah, but we’re only open until 5 today,” Nicole reminded him. “Whatcha got planned afterwards? Anything for Valentine’s?”
The passively annoyed expression he shot in Nicolo’s direction was enough to answer his question. Of course he didn’t have anything planned.
Not only did he not care for relationships right now, but the last one he did have wasn’t particularly memorable. The last time he was in one was some fling he had freshman year of undergrad that fell apart because he was too busy dealing with the financial aid bullshit that resulted from his uncle’s disinterest in him. His partner at the time didn’t understand and also didn’t put in the effort to understand.
So no, he did not have any plans for Valentine’s Day, and he couldn’t see him having them anytime soon.
“You going out with that pastry girl that’s been hanging out here?”
Levi chose to deflect Nicolo’s question with another question.
“Oh, Sasha?” he mused, slightly looking away as some color rose to his cheeks. “Not really, but I’m cooking a dinner for her at home tonight. I’ve never had someone enjoy my food as much before.”
“Hmm,” Levi mumbled in acknowledgement as he turned back towards his station.
Although he couldn’t imagine dedicating a whole evening just to cooking, he did somewhat understand Nicolo’s sentiment regarding how good it felt to have someone enjoy your cooking. Levi also got that same satisfaction whenever someone enjoyed the specific way he brewed his teas.
He clenched his jaw as you popped up in his mind, as you were the most consistent customer that came in and really enjoyed his teas.
It wasn’t the same type of relationship as Nicolo and Sasha, however. Even if it was, he doubted you’d be interested in spending a whole night focusing on tea. He could already picture you babbling on about something regarding drama with your friends the entire night, which sounded like fresh hell to him.
"Are you just going to stay at home grumbling about all the papers you have to read?" Nicolo asked, pulling Levi out of his head.
Levi scoffed as he looked at him, neither confirming nor denying his assumption.
"You know, you really should get out there more! Might do you some good to see someone," Nicolo suggested before pausing, "although your abrasive personality definitely makes it more difficult."
Levi gave him a disapproving and unamused look.
You popped up into his head again. A relationship was out of the question. He already had you to deal with. Dating someone on top of that—especially after the bullshit that happened last month—and his school and work responsibilities sounded like an absolute nightmare.
"Not interested," he grumbled.
"At least get out more! Some stress relief might help with your focus on those papers you seem to be struggling to get through."
Levi didn't immediately shoot down this idea, but he also wasn't too sure on what he would be able to do. He wasn't particularly interested in parties and he didn't have too much of a social life. In fact, wandering through parties last month while searching for you was the most social activity he had gotten since Halloween.
"Not a chance."
~~~~~
"This is the worst mistake of my life."
"Oh c'mon!" you said as you shoved Levi forward into the frat house. "It can't be that bad! A drink could also loosen you up."
Levi scoffed.
"I don't get drunk."
You rolled your eyes.
"Well, you were the one that insisted on coming with me."
"Yeah," he said as he glanced over his shoulder back at you with a scowl, "so you don't get fucking lost in the middle of the night again."
You rolled your eyes again, this time followed with a groan of exasperation.
"You're so dramatic," you scolded as you gave him one final push before wandering off into the crowd.
Levi watched your small form disappear within the sea of people and glanced at the door which was looking more appealing with every passing second. Part of him did regret coming to the crowded and rowdy party, but the thought of running around looking for you again sounded like an absolute pain in the ass.
You slightly glanced back at Levi who was shooting you a glare across the room. A part of you did feel guilty for what had happened last month—you drunk texted him, he dragged his ass around town in the cold looking for you, and then he took care of you after you caught a cold as a result of your reckless desire to search for food while freezing. You understood his ire, but his insistence on coming with you threw you off. He could've just said no if you texted him again.
Your eyes flashed up as you saw him making his way towards you. Upon looking up, not only did you see him, but you also saw quite a few familiar figures—mostly that of people who were not supposed to be there.
One of the Honor's Society members blatantly stood near the drinks station, likely already at least two drinks in. Jean casually chatted with another freshman with black hair and freckles. You looked around to see if there were more Honors Society members that you had to turn a blind eye to.
You recognized two others that weren't Honors Society members, but had shown up to some of your events. One of them was a blonde freshman that you were sure was the daughter of the mayor, although you never got close enough to confirm if that was true. She was interacting quite closely with an upperclassman with freckles that was wearing a brown ponytail and you had to avert your eyes to avoid staring. Your eyes landed right on Marlo and you had to quickly look away to pretend that you didn't see him drinking inappropriately. He was talking to another girl with short, wavy, dark blonde hair that was scowling at him as he looked awkwardly off into the distance, as if some message she was trying to send was being missed entirely.
They're definitely being more bold, aren't they?
It didn't surprise you. It was the spring semester. This was usually around the time that most freshmen that were initially hesitant on attending parties began to embrace it—whether that was a good or bad thing depended on context.
Levi gradually caught up with you and helped you push your way through the crowd, his hand gently ghosting over the small of your back.
You felt chills running up your spine as you felt his touch. You had elected to wear one of your shirts that had an open back, so you felt his fingers directly on your skin. Your pulse hastened as you felt your face heat up.
There were a lot of people at the party.
There were a lot of people, so it increased your anxiety about being here.
Yeah, that was it.
You shrugged off the chills that were rapidly taking over your body and made a beeline for the drink station.
You didn't know what was going on with you. The last time you felt this anxious at a party was when Petra had triggered you about your parents and then at the Rumbling before that when you saw Zack, but it was different. While you couldn't say that you liked feeling this anxiety, it wasn't entirely unwelcome either.
You flinched when you reached your hand out for the stack of cups near the drink station and felt your fingers brush up against Levi's. Heat rose to your cheeks, although you weren't sure if it was because you bumped hands with Levi or if it was out of embarrassment about the fact that you had even flinched in the first place.
Luckily for you, it seemed that Levi was just as distressed, as the both of you immediately withdrew your hands.
"Sorry," Levi muttered as he cleared his throat, putting both his hands back into his jacket pockets.
You shot him an awkward, brief smile of acknowledgement before turning back towards the drinks and pouring one for yourself before immediately running away into the crowd.
The source of your anxiety was Levi. You were at least emotionally self-aware enough to know that. You were anxious when he followed you closely to the drink station and then again once you had accidentally brushed up against him just now.
All that really meant was that you had to get away from him for now if you didn't want to be stressed during the entirety of this party.
You were able to tell that you were slowly beginning to feel more nervous around him, although nervous wasn't really the best word for it. It wasn't really nervousness. Sure, the physiological signs were the same—your face would heat up, your pulse would hasten, and your breath would get caught in your throat. These were all signs that indicated anxiety, but at the same time, anxiety and nervousness didn't feel like the right words to describe what was going on. You couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and it was driving you nuts.
You easily disappeared into the crowd. Levi didn't follow.
The whole point of him coming was to be there to drag your ass home if you got into trouble again, but he couldn't get himself to follow you.
His hand felt like it was burning from where you had brushed up against him. He frowned at himself as he sipped on the drink he had poured for himself, immediately grimacing at the poorly made cocktail whipped up by inexperienced undergrads. He put it down and opted for a beer instead.
He didn't understand why he withdrew his hand so quickly, or why you had flinched. Did he startle you? Why did he feel so awkward afterwards?
Levi groaned to himself. He already regretted coming to the party itself. He should've just chilled at the 24-hour library and do literally anything else until it was time to pick you up. Everything could have been avoided had he just refused to come with. Unlike the Rumbling, in which he attended with Hange and Miche, he didn’t know anyone here. The only person he could be bothered to socialize with would be you, but he felt the increasing need to avoid you at all costs, despite his original reason for tagging along with you. He was stuck in the corner of the room, sipping on cheap beer while pretending that the crowd wasn’t actually as big as it was.
Your nerves quickly faded once you began drinking and chatting with some of your other classmates that had shown up, although you took care to avoid the freshmen that technically were not supposed to be there. The new semester had just started, so everyone was still in a fairly good mood regarding talking about school or even gossiping about faculty. Once assignments and grades began mattering, those topics would be nowhere to be found.
Apparently some drama had been going on between Professor Zachary, the dean of the university, and the mayor and some of his secretaries over the legitimacy of the election. The drama had trickled down to the rest of the staff, leaving everyone—particularly the financial aid office—worried about future funding from the local government.
While this drama generally wouldn’t have caught your interest in the slightest, your scholarship was a huge factor in you being able to attend this school, so you hoped that everything was over-exaggerated and that there wouldn’t be any actual issues. Otherwise, everything you had worked so hard for would have been for naught if you couldn’t pay your tuition.
Before you knew it, the house quickly filled up with people. You found yourself wandering back towards the drink station to haphazardly grab another drink. However, given the fact that you were more than a little intoxicated and that there were way too many people in way too small of a space, you found yourself stumbling over your own feet.
You tripped and immediately fell into someone's chest.
You panicked and immediately began to apologize out of embarrassment.
"Oh! I'm sorry-"
You felt both relief and further embarrassment when you saw who you had fallen into—Levi.
Blood rushed to your face as you leaned against him. You were so close that you could feel his pulse against yours. You could even smell the subtle scent of the cologne that he had put on in the morning, despite the stench of alcohol permeating the air otherwise. It was earthy and pleasant. It fit him well.
You were looking directly into his gray eyes that held an unreadable expression. His hair fell perfectly over his eyes. He was wearing a simple button-up shirt with a black jacket over him and you didn’t notice until now how well it accentuated his figure—particularly his arms, shoulders, and chest—although that might have been the alcohol talking. At least, that's what you convinced yourself it was. Whether it was actually true or not didn't matter. Despite how awkward you felt, you didn't really want to move. You were oddly comfy.
You felt those symptoms of your "anxiety" rising: your hastened pulse, your flushed cheeks, and your breath getting caught in your throat. Despite this, you didn't move.
The both of you stayed still for a while. You soon began to notice his hands that were on your waist after he had caught you. If your body was already reacting strongly to his hand on your back earlier, his touch on your waist was driving your heart rate through the roof. His touch was warm and firm. Chills traveled up and down your body as you made skin-to-skin contact with him. You felt your entire body warming up as you continued to look directly into his eyes. You didn’t want to take your gaze off him. Even the chaos of all the people around you seemed to have been lost on you as you stood agonizingly still up against him.
It was the alcohol. That'd explain it. Alcohol made you more sensitive and would explain your hastened pulse.
After you rationalized that to yourself, you suddenly got up and cleared your throat, finally breaking your gaze from his stupidly pretty eyes.
"...crowded party."
You vaguely heard Levi mumble.
"Y-Yeah," you said as you nodded at him. "Got crowded fast."
Levi didn't get a chance to respond and he was only able to watch as you immediately bolted away from him and into the crowd again to avoid looking at him.
He clenched his jaw and sighed to himself. He was more than annoyed at himself for how awkward he was getting around you. Unlike you, he couldn't say that it was just due to the alcohol—and he wasn't even drinking that much in the first place. What was he thinking, holding you for as long as he was? He should’ve just shrugged you off him as soon as you got your bearings. Instead, he gazed into your eyes for much too long, unable to take the feeling of his hands on your waist out of his mind. The tips of his ears had grown pink as he held you and he only hoped that you were too drunk and that it was too dark for you to notice. He didn’t know what was going on, and he wasn’t particularly in the right mood or headspace to figure it out, especially not with you around.
At this point, you made it your personal goal to avoid Levi until it was time to leave. You found yourself sitting at the drink station, sipping on the not-so-pleasant Jungle Juice that you were too buzzed to notice tasted like shit.
"Long time no see."
You heard a familiar voice and glanced over at the source.
It was the same sophomore that you saw at the Rumbling—the 'lanky parasite' that Levi so rudely dubbed him as—Floche.
"...I guess not," you said as you stared at him, hesitant with your response. "You following me?"
He stepped closer.
"A girl as pretty as you, how could I not?"
Unlike at the Rumbling, when you were anxious and defensive from seeing Zack and therefore immediately rejected Floche's advances, you now did a shy smile, although it still felt awkward as fuck.
Although you rejecting him would have done little to stop him, he immediately began moving closer, and you could have sworn that his eyes traveled up and down your figure briefly.
You were still uncomfortable—that hadn't changed—but a part of you appreciated the compliments.
If you were less intoxicated and had a bit more time to sort out your anxiety regarding both your grumpy roommate and today in general, you'd be able to recognize your increased vulnerability that resulted from being single for the first time on Valentine's Day as well as your newfound dynamic with Levi. If you had recognized that, you probably would've told Floche to promptly fuck off again.
However, you didn't, and before long, you ended up exchanging numbers with him.
Levi stood still from across the room, watching that 'lanky parasite' flirt with you before getting your number. He felt himself get increasingly irritated the minute he saw Floche walking towards you with a suggestive look. He found it strange that he was so bothered by it, but figured that it was because his social battery had been drained for the night and that it didn't actually have anything to do with the exchange he was witnessing in front of him.
His mood significantly soured once he saw the two of you exchange numbers. His grip on his beer bottle tightened as he chugged the rest of it in one go, tossing the bottle into the trash before walking towards you, under the guise of getting another drink.
Levi leaned on the wall next to you, clearly not having any actual intention of getting another drink.
"You come to these parties just to flirt with anyone that sets their eyes on you?"
The comment caught you off-guard. You blinked at him, unsure of how to respond to his oddly rude comment.
"Wh-What?" you asked defensively, taking slight offense to his comment once you were able to process it.
"Nothing," he mumbled. "It's getting too rowdy. Let's go."
At this point, a scowl was permanently plastered onto his face and you could tell that he was more than ready to leave.
You stared at him as he turned away and grabbed his car keys out of his pants pocket. He took a few steps towards the door before glancing back at you.
"You coming?"
You clenched your jaw, trying to swallow the increasing sensation of an uncomfortable lump in your throat.
"...okay," you whispered, getting up and following him out of the house.
Levi looked at your upset expression and didn't say a word as he turned away and walked towards his car. He was feeling much too irritated to deal with anything other than getting into the car and driving home to forget this night ever happened.
~~~~~
The car ride home was silent. Levi had barely drank at the party and had been long sober by the time you actually got to leaving. You had drunk significantly more, although you were starting to sober up as well.
You stubbornly looked out the window with your arms crossed, still trying to process how you felt regarding Levi's unexpected comment.
You were offended. That much, you knew. It wasn't the first time he had insulted you, but some part did legitimately believe that the two of you had moved past it. You had come to terms with some deal about getting along with each other and he's been around during some of your more vulnerable moments.
Yet here he was, blatantly insulting you again. You were already somewhat emotionally compromised because of your unease regarding being single on Valentine's Day and you had been anxious around him all night, so his comment on top of all of that seemed to hit you much harder than any of his previous insults ever had.
"I'm not just...flirting," you mumbled.
He glanced over at you, clearly able to tell that you were upset with the way that you were avoiding his gaze and your low volume of speech.
It took him a second to respond.
"...I know," he said quietly.
You frowned and then turned to look at him before speaking more audibly.
"Then why'd you say it?"
Levi didn't answer.
Not wanting to waste your energy fighting with him over his weird behavior, you let out a frustrated huff before crossing your arms and glaring out the window again.
No words were exchanged for the rest of the car ride, or even during the walk into the apartment and into your separate rooms.
You were more than irritated. Petra pissed you off at the meeting, you had been high-strung all night, and the one person you thought you could count on was acting weird and throwing snappy comments at you that bothered you on a much deeper level than they should have.
Realizing that you were too wound up to go to bed, you found yourself leaning against the railing on the balcony connected to your apartment. The cold winter air helped calm you down.
You turned towards the door as you heard footsteps approaching. You saw Levi's figure approaching from behind you, holding a bottle of beer in each hand.
He offered you one by raising it towards you and you stared at him, still frowning, before eventually taking it. He was still acting weird and you were still pissed.
You sipped on it in silence, glaring at the horizon as he stood quietly next to you.
"Sorry," he said after a while. It was quiet and part of you wasn't sure if you had actually heard him correctly.
You blinked at him.
"What?"
"The comment," he muttered awkwardly as he leaned on the railing and looked at the ground below. "Was just pissed from being at the party, I guess."
Your frown gradually softened as you looked at him. It was weird that he was apologizing, but it was also weird that you cared so much. Even after you had seemingly formed a truce with him, it's not like he suddenly became a pleasant person to be around. His personality was still abrasive and he still lacked a filter whenever he was annoyed, and you never caught him apologizing for any of it.
You bit on your bottom lip subtly in an attempt to calm your nerves regarding the awkwardness that had been surrounding the two of you all night.
"Well," you finally spoke, attempting to break the tension, "good news is that you didn't have to chase me around this time?"
You heard a quiet scoff.
"Guess not."
"Told you so," you shot him a smug look as you took another swig of the beer.
"That's because I went with you, dumbass."
A small grin appeared on your face at his response. At least it had returned to your usual banter.
"To be honest, I didn't even really want to go out tonight. Think I was trying to prove something to Petra."
"Oh?" he mumbled as he raised an eyebrow at you.
"Yeah," you said with an annoyed tone. "She kept insisting that I was purposefully being mopey over being single on Valentine's Day even though I kept on telling her I wasn't."
You looked over towards Levi once you noticed that he wasn't responding. He was frowning at the ground again.
"Nicolo was being a pain in the ass at the café today," he finally said. "Something about needing to get out more."
You found yourself smiling at the shared ire between the two of you.
"To us miserable singles?" you suggested before raising your beer as if you were giving a toast.
He gave you a skeptical look for a few seconds before sighing.
"Fine," he said reluctantly before clinking the spout of his beer bottle with yours. "To being miserably single."
He took a swig of his beer.
"Apparently," he added on, with a hint of heavy reluctance in his voice.
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye as you raised your beer bottle to your lips.
You already knew Valentine's Day was going to suck this year because of all the bullshit that had happened in the past couple months, but Levi's presence made it just a little less lonely. You weren’t entirely sure what it was, but even just his presence was enough to make you feel not completely alone, something that none of your friends were able to achieve. He wasn’t actively doing anything to make you feel that way, but you still felt it nonetheless.
You smiled to yourself as you enjoyed his presence next to you. It was easy to forget your problems around him, even if it was something as silly as being single on Valentine's Day.
{{ Chapter 7: December I | Chapter 9: February I }}
Chapter Directory
fun fact i had this chapter written back in like may
if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!
✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au
✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence.
✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, alcohol, college-typical parties
✧ word count ➼ ~5.4k
It was already 3:00am and Levi found himself frowning at his bedroom window. He knew that he was going to get even less sleep than usual due to the fireworks that would be going off throughout the night, but it was particularly annoying because the constant bombardment of the colorful explosions in the night sky would also distract him from being able to continue reading his papers. He had set aside time throughout winter break to catch up so that he would be prepared for his research update presentation in April. It was still a few months away, so he knew he had time, but he would prefer to have the heavy reading out of the way before the semester started up again.
However, given the events of the past few weeks, he found himself annoyingly behind on the schedule that he set himself. It seemed that every time he dedicated a night to get caught up on work, he would find something come up that needed his immediate attention. Last week, it was that Hange's friend that promised to petsit their hamsters was suddenly unavailable, so Levi had to sub in for them. The week before, it was when you called him drunk crying over the phone and he had to spend the night with you at a diner to try to get you to sober up so that you could actually speak coherently over what had happened. It seemed like the world was throwing everything at him to prevent him from finishing anything related to actually securing his PhD.
He set the packet of papers down onto his desk with a sigh and shut his eyes as he rubbed at his forehead after another set of fireworks were set off outside, contributing to his rapidly approaching headache. His eyes opened again when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.
Levi pulled his phone out and turned on the screen, cursing when his phone lit up with the brightness turned all the way up, setting his vision on fire.
A frown was already plastered onto his face once he finally got to opening your text message.
> [Matcha Girl (3:04am)]: levi can u come pick me up
> [levi (3:05am)]: From where, it's 3am.
> [levi (3:05am)]: Also no, it's 3am.
> [Matcha Girl (3:10am)]: oh cmon it's not liketou sleep anyway
> [levi (3:12am)]: You're drunk, aren't you?
> [Matcha Girl (3:15am)]: noooo
> [Matcha Girl (3:15am)]: a lil
> [Matcha Girl (3:15am)]: just toiiipsy
> [Matcha Girl (3:18am)]: leviii PLSLAEEASE idk where i amm
> [Matcha Girl (3:19am)]: n my phones about to die
> [levi (3:21am)]: You're so annoying.
Levi sighed to himself as he rolled his eyes. He got up, internally questioning why he always felt the need to get you out of these stupid, shitty situations. He was already in outdoor clothes since he wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway, so he just had to grab his jacket and brace himself for the cold.
He shot you another text.
> [levi (3:25am)]: Where's the last place you remember being?
He frowned at your lack of a response. He usually wasn't one to get impatient while texting, but this wasn't just an everyday situation in which he was checking in with you. However, given the events of the past two months, his instincts told him that your delay in responding was indicative of bad news.
Levi immediately pressed the call button, tapping his finger against the back of his phone in anticipation as he waited for you to respond, hoping that your phone hadn't died yet. There was no answer.
> [levi (3:30am)]: _____, answer the phone.
Frustrated at your lack of a response, he shot you another text message. Your phone had rung, so he knew that your phone wasn't dead. His mind immediately began wandering over the reasons why you weren't answering: maybe you were distracted, maybe you lost your phone, maybe you got into trouble. He immediately pressed the call button again, tensing up once he heard your voice mailbox message again.
> [levi (3:32am)]: _____
Feeling increasingly pressured, he immediately shot you another text. You had been fairly quick in responding to him in the past, so an increasingly heavy feeling began to build in his gut as he continued to wait for a response that wasn't coming. He called again. There was no answer.
> [levi (3:35am)]: For fucks sake
He called you again. There was still no answer.
"For fucks sake," he repeated out loud, immediately heading out the door, speed-walking through the dimly lit lobby, grimacing once he opened the door to the outdoors parking lot as the cold air hit his face. The sky was clear and there was no wind, but the winter night was chilly enough that he was relieved when he finally pulled himself into the car and turned on the heat.
Luckily, there was no snow or ice on the ground, so he didn't have to deal with defrosting. He just needed to turn on the car, turn on the heat, and then drive to wherever you were. The hard part was finding out exactly where you were.
Of all the scenarios he had imagined for himself for his second year in the graduate program, this was not one of them. He never imagined that he would drag himself out of the house on a freezing winter night at 3 in the morning to go rescue some drunk undergrad from a New Year's Eve party that went too far—but you weren't just some drunk undergrad. You were his roommate and someone that he now begrudgingly called a friend. He'd have to deal with your bullshit in the morning whether he came to pick you up or not. At least he'd be able to do some sort of damage control if he went to pick you up now instead of waiting for you to pop up in the morning at the front door.
He pulled out his phone again and looked through your text messages, scrolling up to see if you had mentioned the party you were planning on going to tonight to him earlier. You didn't.
He stared at the last text that he sent you.
> [levi (3:35am)]: For fucks sake
He recalled how you had called him last month, drunk and in tears over something shitty that your friend said that reopened some old wounds that had appeared a month prior. While that situation had resolved itself, the way that you were essentially incoherent as he tried to ground you from all your chaotic thoughts did not give him confidence in how you were coping with the situation you found yourself in now.
"Shit," he muttered to himself underneath his breath. He couldn't get this heavy feeling to go away. He couldn't trust that you didn't throw yourself into another shitty situation. The last thing he wanted to do was drive around the town through crowds of drunk students to find you, but he knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he dragged your ass home.
The new year had just passed, so there were plenty of New Year's parties littered around campus. Levi briefly recalled you mentioning a party you had gotten invited to and were excited to attend. He found himself frowning at the fact that you likely went alone or somehow got separated from your friends, who would also be too drunk to be reliable in locating you.
"What a pain in the ass," he muttered, cranking up the heat in the car, with it barely being able to keep up with the cold seeping in from the outside.
Your dumb ass better have dressed up warmly enough to be wandering around in this shit.
He paused for a second upon having that thought. As much as it irritated him, he couldn't deny that he was deeply concerned for your safety and well-being. He was adamant on ignoring you and possibly finding another place to live once the lease renewals came around when you first started living together, but that intent was nowhere to be found now. He did enjoy having you as a roommate, even if you were a constant pain in the ass to him.
Levi sighed as he scrolled through the socials that he knew you frequented to see if he could get any clue as to where you were, but there were so many parties going on around town that it would be difficult to track you down. He never would have imagined himself sitting in the cold playing detective in the middle of the night. No matter what he did, he couldn't get his concern over your state of being out of his head. There were too many wild cards.
The streets immediately off-campus were nowhere near safe enough for you to be wandering alone while shit-faced. He didn't trust you to not get lost on a bus route. Even the parties themselves were not safe, given how wild some of the undergrads can get. If your phone really was dead, you wouldn't be able to call an Uber or even the police in case something happened.
His thumb hovered over his phone as he noticed that he had stopped scrolling, being lost in his head over all the things that could have gone wrong throughout the course of the night.
"God fucking dammit, _____," he cursed to himself, tossing his phone into the cup holder in between the driver's and passenger's seats before shifting the gears in the car to officially begin his journey of perusing through the town to figure out where you were.
~~~~~
In the end, Levi found himself walking through the cold, his hands buried into his coat pockets as he pushed his way past the undergrads that were too drunk to feel the cold. He had been driving around campus for around an hour, stopping periodically at the bigger parties to ask if anyone had seen you around. Although most of the undergrads were absolutely shit-faced, every party had at least one sober contact that was on bouncer duty or standing around, looking as irritated as he would be if put in that situation.
"There's way too many people coming in and out for me to remember her," one would say.
"I dunno, I might have seen her around. She your girlfriend or something?" others would say.
"No, she's my roommate and I'm going to take your answer as a no," Levi responded in reference to his question as to whether they had seen you.
Some of the other undergrads he had asked had more than distasteful commentary upon him pulling up your picture, with some asking if he had "lost control of you" and let you get too into the party, which immediately placed a scowl on Levi's face.
"She can fucking take care of herself, you ass."
Levi found himself being oddly defensive at some of the distasteful comments coming from some of the younger undergrads. Those comments would have pissed him off no matter who they were directed at, but he found himself especially pissed off when they were directed at you.
After approaching his fourth or fifth house party, he eventually caught word of a parade that ended at a food truck festival downtown. He vaguely recalled that one night in that diner in which you chatted about being an emotional eater and gravitating towards food whenever you were intoxicated. It wasn't a clear lead, but you at least had a higher chance of being there than sticking around at one of these rowdy parties.
As he approached downtown, the crowd got thicker, so he had to find street parking a block or two away and walk on foot to where the food trucks were. The one positive from being in a crowded area was that everyone's close proximity kept them (Levi included) warm due to their own body heat, although being this close to people grossed him out. He knew that there were certainly pathogens flying around everywhere from how close people were to each other with no regards for personal space.
He looked up as soon as he began to smell food and saw the line-up of trucks that had merchants desperately trying to keep up with the drunk, hungry students that were sinking their money into overpriced food at 4 in the morning. He pulled out his phone again to see if you had texted him back.
You didn't.
~~~~~
Why do the lines have to be so long?
That was the only thought that was running through your head. You had been wandering down the line of food trucks in hopes of finding something that both satisfied your drunk cravings and wasn't packed with other students. You finally found one (sort of) at the very end.
It was a hot dog stand that had a line of around 5-6 people, which was pretty short compared to the 15-20 people that crowded every other truck. You felt yourself begin to salivate at the prospect of finally getting some food and reached your hand into your pocket to dig out some cash so you can get yourself a hot dog.
Your hand brushed against your phone and you frowned in confusion, recalling a blurry memory about texting your grumpy roommate about a ride.
How long ago was that? Did it even happen?
Deciding that you cared at the moment a bit more about getting the hot dog than you were about checking in on Levi (when you weren't even sure if you actually texted him or not), you continued to fumble around until you finally pulled out a small wad of cash.
The hot dog was within reach.
"_____!"
You thought you heard someone vaguely call your name, but by the time it registered in your mind, you were pushing your way past some of the stragglers that weren't in line to get up to the hot dog stand. Nothing was getting in between you and your hot dog.
"_____!" that someone called out again, a bit more urgently this time.
You turned around to see who it was that was trying to get your attention.
However, since you were already moving forward with quite a bit of momentum and since your ability to balance yourself was a bit compromised due to the alcohol, you quickly found yourself tumbling towards the ground.
However, before you could hit the ground, a sturdy arm wrapped itself around your back, preventing you from falling straight onto your ass. You finally looked up and looked into the intense, gray eyes of your grumpy roommate.
"The least you can do is to try to watch your step, you dumbass."
A small smile appeared on your face as your eyes lit up upon seeing him.
"Hi," you said, sounding slightly dazed without taking your eyes off him. "Have I ever told you your eyes are really pretty?"
Levi raised his eyebrows at your comment, shooting an unamused expression your way.
"Your face too," you continued.
Levi rolled his eyes.
"You're drunk."
"No," you said defensively, "just tipsy! Just, tipsy."
You took a breath mid-sentence, feeling winded after losing your balance.
"What a pain in the ass," he grumbled as he lifted his arm to get you back on your feet. "Get up. We're leaving."
"Why?" you asked, tilting your head.
"Did you not ask me to pick you up?"
You blinked at him a few times as you recalled that the memory of you texting him actually did happen and wasn't just a figment of your drunken imagination.
"Oh yeah, I guess I did."
"For fuck's sake," Levi said with an exasperated sigh before whispering underneath his breath, "and to think I got all worried for nothing."
"What was that?" you asked, having gotten distracted by the person at the front of line receiving their order.
"I said you're a fucking pain in the ass," he spat. "Let's go."
He nudged you in the opposite direction and then glared at you when you provided resistance.
"But I want a hot dog," you said with a pout, looking genuinely upset at the thought of not being able to get your long-awaited meal.
"At this hour?"
"Yes!"
Levi groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, almost unable to believe that of all the situations he had imagined while searching for you, that this was the one that actually occurred.
"Fine," he said with another exasperated sigh. "But you're eating it before we get into the car."
He barely finished his sentence before he briefly lost his ability to breathe when you basically body slammed into him with a tight hug. His eyes widened a bit, not expecting the sudden act of affection.
"My hot dog hero," you said quietly before pulling off of him, eyes gleaming.
He rolled his eyes at you again, shrugging you off of him before pulling out his wallet and walking up to the food stand.
You stared at him, a smile appearing on your face as your cheeks warmed up.
Levi, who irritated you beyond belief the minute you started interacting with him and who made sure that you knew that he felt the same way towards you, was here, standing in the cold in the middle of the night, buying you a fucking hot dog. It seemed silly, but it made your heart flutter.
No one's really gone out of the way for you like this before.
It was silly—but it meant a lot to you.
Your eyes glimmered as he shoved the hot dog into your hands.
"Let's go."
~~~~~
It was nearly 4:30am at this point, so the crowds were starting to clear. You barely felt the cold on your way to Levi's car. All you could focus on was the warm hot dog in your hands. Every bite you took felt like bliss. You weren't lying when you said that you were an emotional eater. If nothing could bring you happiness, at least food could.
"Hope that shit at least sobers you up," Levi muttered, looking back at you as you continued to happily munch on it.
You noticed him looking and nodded.
"-think so," you said, your voice slightly muffled since your mouth was full.
You immediately saw Levi's face scrunch up in disgust. Feeling your face heat up in embarassment, you instantly covered your mouth with your free hand before muttering a quiet, "sorry".
Once you finally got into the car, you realized how cold your body was and you felt yourself instantly relax upon the heat coming on and washing your freezing body with warmth. The hot dog had sobered you up at this point and you smiled to yourself as you felt the rumbling of the car as Levi began to drive home.
"Hmm," you muttered to yourself as you watched the night lights pass through the passenger window.
"What?" Levi asked, glancing over at you real quick.
"Why is driving with you always so relaxing?" you asked, as you pulled up your memory of the drive you had together in November after the not-so-pleasant encounter with your aunt.
"What are you talking about?"
"In November," you said, looking towards him, "when you drove me around because I was upset and-"
Your words were interrupted as you brought your arm up to sneeze into your elbow, facing away from Levi.
Levi groaned.
"You better not be getting sick."
"Nope," you said with a sniffle.
Levi grunted, not really believing you.
After driving for a few minutes in silence, you shuffled around in your seat, an uncomfortable feeling arising in your throat. You knew it wasn't due to the drinking, you've suffered through that enough times to know your limit. You couldn't tell if it was anxiety, guilt, shame, or all three.
"Thank you," you said quietly, looking down towards your knees.
"Hmm?"
He had heard you, but didn't quite know how to respond himself.
"For picking me up," you clarified. "I'm sorry I made you come out so late."
Levi looked over at you, the look in his eyes softening as you continued to stare at your knees, afraid to look at him.
"Just don't make a habit out of this," he said, bringing his eyes back to the road. "I can't drop everything to go looking for you all the fucking time."
A small smile pulled on the edges of your lips.
"You dropped everything to come find me?"
The question was directed towards yourself as much as it was at him.
"You know what I mean."
You didn't respond, but you couldn't hide the growing smile on your face.
He cared. He really did care. Even with how annoyed he was with you 24/7, Levi Ackerman really did care for your well-being and that was enough to make you smile like an idiot. You didn't have very many people in your life that you could confidently say that they cared.
Levi glanced over at you, noticing that you fell silent.
Tonight was not a good night. Levi had been forced out of the house at 3am and had been on panic mode all night out of fear that you had gotten yourself into a stupid situation when you had just gotten lost while wandering around looking for a fucking hot dog stand. He was annoyed beyond belief—but also incredibly relieved that you were okay. Everything was okay.
A frown grew on his face and his grip on the steering wheel tightened as an irritating thought popped up in his head: he didn't trust himself to not do this again.
If you texted him tomorrow with the exact same messages, he didn't trust himself to not immediately worry for your safety and then wander out to find you again. He really was depending on you to not make a habit out of this.
Once you finally got home, you immediately planted yourself face-first onto the couch. You were exhausted. The alcohol was wearing off, the headache was coming on, and you felt yourself barely able to keep your eyes open or move another muscle. You weren't making it into your bed tonight.
You felt something soft land on you and looked up. Levi had tossed a throwover blanket in your direction, seemingly in sync with your thought that you were just going to crash on the couch tonight.
"Just don't get sick on the floor," Levi muttered quietly before walking away towards him bedroom. "I'm going to bed."
"Night," you said quietly, shooting him a lazy wave with your hand as you placed your head down onto the couch pillow, hugging the blanket as you slowly drifted off into sleep.
Levi sighed and glanced back at you right before reaching his bedroom. He couldn't tell what he was feeling. He was relieved, pissed, and annoyed at the same time. He was glad you were okay, pissed that you got yourself into a shitty situation, and annoyed at himself for getting as worried as he did.
"For fuck's sake," he whispered to himself again as he stepped into the bedroom, unable to shake this feeling off, hoping that sleep would help it normalize out, and that he'd wake up tomorrow morning with the events of tonight becoming a distant, detached memory.
~~~~~
You felt like your head was literally on fire. Opening your eyes—even to your dimly lit living room—set them on fire.
You buried your face into the couch pillow, desperately pleading that your hangover would just go away so you wouldn't have to deal with this all day. After a few minutes with no sign of your hangover disappearing, you slowly turned your head towards the coffee table and forced yourself to peel your eyes open.
It took a few seconds for your eyes to adjust and you had to blink a few times—which did not help your headache.
How did I get home?
You had vague recollections of what had happened the night prior. You remembered panicking on your way to a food truck festival before texting Levi, but you didn't remember much after that.
Your eyes fell onto the dining table and you blinked a few times at what you found.
There was a cup of coffee on the table, sitting in a thermos to keep warm, as well as a cup of water, and two tablets of Tylenol. You forced yourself to sit up and saw that the coffee thermos was sitting on a piece of paper with a note written on it.
[For the hangover. PS. Your phone's on the kitchen table charging.]
Your face started to heat up as more memories of what happened the night before began to arise.
Levi had driven out to you to pick you up when he had no idea where you were to begin with. He had dragged himself out of the house in the middle of the night into the freezing cold just to find you, when you weren't in any actual danger. You then vaguely remembered looking into his eyes before drunkenly telling him that he was pretty.
You groaned and placed your face in the palm of your hand, trying to get rid of the rising embarrassment that you were beginning to feel.
Luckily, Levi had left for the day to go do lab work, which meant that you didn't have to deal with the consequences of your shenanigans right this minute.
You grabbed the coffee and sniffed at it. Levi said he didn't make the specialty coffees at his café, but he was still able to whip up a pretty good batch. You gently took a sip of it before immediately wincing once the hot liquid hit your lips.
You cursed to yourself as you put the thermos back down, having not expected the beverage to still be as hot as it was. You quickly switched over to the cup of water to cool off your burning mouth, promptly taking the two Tylenol tablets afterwards to attempt to soothe your headache.
You threw the blanket that you had wrapped yourself in to the side and slowly pushed yourself off the couch, groaning as your head pounded in protest. You slowly made your way over to the kitchen table, rubbing your forehead in an attempt to soothe the pain.
You picked up your phone and checked the time: 11am. Since it was still in the middle of winter break, you didn't have to worry about classes or important obligations for the day.
Having decided that staying awake while working through this headache wasn't worth it, you dragged yourself into your bedroom, shut your blinds, and collapsed into your bed so that you could sleep the hangover off.
~~~~~
It had been a week since you found yourself wandering in the middle of the night during a freezing winter's night after getting fixated on food after attending a New Year's party. You had insisted that you weren't getting sick as a result of it, but that was getting further and further from the truth.
You sneezed again into your elbow, grimacing when you saw Levi glance over at you. You were sitting at the kitchen table on your laptop, attempting to write more of the light novel that was required for you to graduate, and Levi was on the couch, catching up on the papers that he hadn't been able to read.
"Thought you said you weren't getting sick," he said without looking up at you.
"I'm not," you said, scowling at him for a few seconds before glancing back down at your computer. You squinted your eyes at your screen, trying to remember what your train of thought was before you had been rudely interrupted by your body requiring you to sneeze.
You felt yourself getting increasingly frustrated at your inability to focus on writing. The words weren't really coming together—you couldn't tell the difference between affect and effect, then and than, how to use a semi-colon properly, or if your dialogue to exposition ratio was balanced. You weren't getting anything done at this rate.
After hearing nothing from silence from you, Levi glanced up at you.
"You've been staring at your screen without moving for like ten minutes at this point. Go to bed."
"Hmm?" you said as you shook your head, snapping yourself out of your daze. "It's only 8."
You sneezed into your elbow again.
A frown appeared on Levi's face.
"If you sneeze one more time, I'm going to have to wear a hazmat suit just to come home."
"God, not everyone's a clean freak like you, Lev'," you said as you rolled your eyes at him.
He gave you a deadpan expression upon you using your nickname for him. It wasn't that different from his actual name and you had just started using it after he came to pick you up. It weirded him out last week when you used it for the first time, but he did find it endearing in a way.
"You're sick," Levi emphasized again.
"No I'm not-" you began retorting before being interrupted with your itchy throat that prompted some coughing that you failed to suppress.
Levi simply stared at you, raising his eyebrows again.
"Okay fine," you mumbled. "I think I caught a cold, probably from running around last week during New Years."
"Wonder whose fault that was," Levi mumbled.
You frowned at Levi and threw a clumped up wad of paper at him across the room.
He immediately caught it and chucked it back at you. You were slow to react and it bounced off your head as you looked back at him with an irritated expression.
Levi sighed as you continued to glare at him.
"How much writing have you gotten done in the past hour?"
You were reluctant to respond, so you didn't.
"Go to bed," Levi said again.
You let out a defeated sigh before gently closing your laptop. Now that you've had a minute to think, you realized that Levi was right. You felt absolutely horrible. Your head was pounding, your sinuses were so inflamed that you felt it in your eyes, and you felt chills incoming, which meant that a fever was approaching.
You shot an annoyed look towards Levi as you walked past the couch into the kitchen, placing your tea mug into the sink.
"Always gotta be so bossy," you grumbled underneath your breath as you turned away from him and walked towards your bedroom.
"I heard that, you brat," Levi responded without looking up at you.
You turned around and stuck your tongue out at him, which earned you a prompt eye roll.
By the time you actually collapsed into bed, your body was more than ready to pass out. You were lucky that Levi called you out when he did, as it saved you from having to embarrass yourself in front of him and be subjected to being taken care of by him again. Last week was enough.
You couldn't get that memory out of your head.
~~~~~
The next time that you opened your eyes, you were completely wrapped up in your blanket, encasing yourself in a cocoon. Your head was pounding and your breath was warm. As soon as you reached your arm out of your blanket to reach for your phone, you felt a chill run through your body.
You were most definitely sick—and likely with a fever.
Fuck. I really can't afford this right now.
You groaned as you rolled yourself out of your comfortable cocoon and forced yourself to stand, having to hold onto your nightstand for balance at the sudden movement. Your body was protesting at your every movement.
You glanced around the room with a frown, annoyed that you left your laptop out in the dining room instead of bringing it to your room so that you could work while in bed.
You held your head in a vain attempt to soothe it as you took a few steps forward towards your door, pausing when you stepped on a piece of paper. It was a note.
You bent over and picked it up, squinting so that you could read what it said without having to turn on your obnoxiously bright ceiling lamp.
[Made a cup of tea for you on the kitchen table near your computer. Don't burn yourself this time.
P.S. If I catch you working while you're still sick, I'm tossing your computer out the window.]
no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind boggling, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell dissolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos orgasm. he could put a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride.
{{ Chapter 6: November I | Chapter 8: January I }}
Chapter Directory
i finally finished outlining this series! which means i can get all the chapters written ahead of time and i'm so excited because things only get fluffier from here on out skdjfksf
if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!
✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au
✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence.
✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, alcohol, college-typical parties, explicit description of an anxiety attack, mentions of death
✧ word count ➼ ~4k
> [you (4:45pm)]: hey you locked me out again
> [you (4:47pm)]: hello???
> [you (4:48pm)]: hello??? earth to levi
> [levi (4:50pm)]: Should've come home earlier. I have work.
> [you (4:51pm)]: it's 4:50. u said your shift doesn't start till 5
> [levi (4:55pm)]: It's a 15 minute commute, dumbass.
> [you (4:56pm)]: YOU'RE a sumbass
> [you (4:56pm)]: dumbass
> [levi (4:59pm)]: How clever
> [levi (5:00pm)]: I made you another Matcha. Get your ass here before it gets cold.
~~~~~
It had started snowing on your way to the café. The weather forecast hadn't called it a snowstorm or anything along the lines of that, but walking through it was still a pain in the butt. You hadn't anticipated having to walk in it, so you were wearing tennis shoes, which meant that snow seeped in, leaving you with cold feet and wet socks. On top of that, you weren't wearing any gloves, so you had to have your hands shoved into your jacket pockets the entire time.
Needless to say, you were more than grumpy by the time you arrived. You shook the snow out of your hair and patted off your coat before sitting down at your usual spot with a more than obvious frown on your face.
Levi's gaze met yours and he pushed the cup of Matcha gently towards you. He seemed to notice your mood and chose to simply hand you the drink without providing commentary on the fact that you had locked yourself out of the house again.
You mumbled a thanks as you took a sip of the drink that Levi had now been regularly preparing for you whenever you came into the café. Most days you simply appreciated the gesture, but there were also days like this where your mood was nothing but sour, so getting your comfort drink for free was more than needed.
You had left your apartment keys at home while you were in a rush to leave in the morning and then you had missed the bus on your way home. You rushed to your apartment, hoping that Levi was still at home, and were rudely met with a locked door. Today was just full of misfortunes.
You took solace in the fact that the Matcha meant there was at least one thing in your day that you could consider a positive. The day wasn't a complete loss.
"Does this mean I'm trapped with you for the next five hours until your shift is up?" you asked, finally placing the cup back down onto its accompanying plate.
"Fuck no," he responded with a frown. "Having you here for the entire shift will make it a hundred times worse."
Levi didn't miss the subtle pout that appeared on your face. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that he had hurt your feelings based on the look in your eyes.
He paused briefly, glancing at you, noting that you really did seem affected by his comment.
"Whatever," he mumbled underneath his breath as he began digging around in his pockets, before pulling out a spare key.
He began to slide it over to you.
"A spare that I made a while ago," he muttered, his fingers still on the top of the key to keep you from immediately grabbing it. "I expect you to give it back."
After emphasizing that last statement, he let go of the key and flicked it closer to you.
It took you a second to react. You hadn't expected this from him.
"Thanks," you said quietly as you took the spare and placed it in your pocket.
You sipped on the Matcha again, subtly looking up as you watched Levi tend to his station.
The two of you have kept this routine up for a few months at this point. You'd come in, he'd prepare you a drink, and you'd exchange some banter with him before he went back over to his station. You were surprised every time you saw Levi being completely engrossed in his station. As much as he complained about working here, you could tell he did legitimately enjoy making the specialty teas the café offered. It was probably one of the only things he could do to keep other real life things off his mind.
You heard the door open (and felt the accompanying freezing wind) behind you.
"Oh hey, _____!"
You turned towards the door and saw Nicolo leaning against the open door carrying a box of supplies.
"Oi, are you trying to turn this place into a fridge?" Levi called out. "Close the damn door."
Nicolo stepped inside, kicking the snow off his boots. Upon a closer inspection, you could see that he was carrying a variety of baking supplies in the heavy-looking box in his arms, likely to restock his own station.
"Hey!" you greeted with a wave. "How's business been?"
He walked up to you and placed the boxes on the counter, much to Levi's ire since they were still somewhat covered in snow.
"Slower since you haven't been needing our pastries!"
"Well, the semester's over so activities are paused until after February."
"You going to the party tonight?"
"Probably," you said with a nod. A subtle smirk appeared at the edge of your lips. "I assume you're going with Sasha?"
"Wh-What?!" Nicolo exclaimed as his face flushed up. You had caught him off-guard.
"Nothing," you said innocently as you shut your eyes and continued sipping at your Matcha.
You've seen the two underclassmen interacting here regularly nearly every other day. Although it was none of your business, anybody with even a hint of social awareness could put the pieces together that there was something developing between the two.
"If you're taking her out, I'd recommend getting something bigger to eat first," you spoke up, turning towards Nicolo, who was still reeling from your comment. "And it's Sasha, so I mean it when I say bigger to eat. It's an end-of-semester party, which means it's a bigger one. Make sure you have something to soak up the alcohol."
You were well aware that neither of them were drinking age, but you weren't dumb. Although there were some that attended parties without ever drinking, you knew it was rare. It was more than likely that the two of them would be drinking in some capacity. You'd rather them be careful, instead of them getting into trouble because you decided to turn a blind eye.
You didn't notice, but Levi had kept his eyes on you throughout this whole exchange. Every single time you came into the café or interacted with him, the more of you he actually got to see. Although he wouldn't admit it to himself, you were straying further and further from his expectation of you as just another annoying undergrad.
"Are you going with anyone?" Nicolo finally asked after gathering himself.
You nodded.
"I'm going with Petra and a few others. So I guess I'll see you there!"
~~~~~
Everyone had finally left.
While Levi didn't particularly enjoy closing shifts, he did find them more relaxing than his regular mid-shifts. He got to spend the last 30 minutes or so alone after closing to clean and prepare the café for the next day.
Still, given how late it was, he found himself in a sour mood. Having to be out past 11pm couldn't just be remedied by 30 minutes of cleaning, no matter how much he enjoyed it. He was more than ready to go home and lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.
The snow had stopped and only a small layer had gathered on the ground, but it was still fairly chilly outside. Levi dug his hands into his pockets and frowned at the fact that his breath was visible whenever he exhaled. He knew his car was going to be annoyingly cold once he got in.
He felt his phone buzz.
He groaned, knowing it was you. He wondered if he should ignore it.
His phone kept buzzing. It was a phone call.
He finally dug out his phone, exposing his hand to the freezing temperatures surrounding him.
"What?" he spoke sternly into the phone, immediately grimacing from the loud background noise that came from the other end. He held the phone about an inch away from his ear.
"Levi?!"
He heard you yell into your phone, as if you were surprised that he picked up.
"What do you want?"
He heard a lot of loud music, which meant that you were still at the party, but also wind blowing into your microphone, indicating that you were outside.
His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to make out whatever it was that you were trying to say. He vaguely heard the words "me" and "up". With the music and the wind fighting for the microphone's attention, he could barely understand a word you were saying.
"What?"
He heard some shuffling on the other end before your voice began coming through clearer.
"Can you p-pick me up?"
Your voice was unsteady and slurred. You were drunk.
"It's too late into the night, fuck off."
You had gone to the party with friends, so it wasn't like you didn't have a way home. Plus, he already had to pick you up last month at the last minute. He really didn't want this to form into a habit.
However, before he could bring his phone down away from his ear and press the end call button, you spoke again with a sense of urgency.
"Levi, p-please!"
He had noticed that your voice was unsteady the first time, but now he could almost picture you trembling as you spoke.
You were upset about something. Listening closely, he was vaguely able to tell that you were crying based on the way that your speaking and breathing patterns were not matching up with each other, in addition to the sense of urgency in your voice.
He groaned audibly.
"Fine. Which stupid party are you at?"
~~~~~
Driving through this area of campus was always a pain in the ass. Not only did most of the buses pass through here, but it was also the central location for parties. Most fraternities were located here and it technically wasn't as monitored by campus security, which meant parties could go late into the night and be as wild as they wanted to get without too many repercussions. It was precisely why Levi avoided driving through here.
Yet, he found himself here, driving at a snail's pace, trying to pinpoint your figure out amongst the crowd of drunk undergrads. Given the fact that you were a small person, he had no idea where you could've been.
He parked across the street and shot you a quick text message telling you to get your ass outside within five minutes or he was going to leave.
The five minutes passed.
He glanced at the frat house you had texted him the address of and still saw no signs of you.
He let out a tut of disapproval as he prepared to re-enter the freezing atmosphere. He was more than irritated as he got out of the car, zipping his jacket up as began walking towards the party.
Despite what he texted you, he wasn't going to leave you here, no matter how much he wanted to go home. He knew how shady these parties could get and that wasn't even considering how upset and intoxicated you had sounded over the phone.
He stared blankly into the crowd, trying to identify you within a sea of people.
It was only by luck that he saw you out of the corner of his eye. You weren't even at the frat house.
You had stormed off to the nearby street corner, no doubt trying to get away from the party, although it didn't seem like you had a particular destination in mind.
He began to make his way over to you, but paused once he saw you squat down and hold your chest.
You were upset, drunk, and likely about to be sick because you couldn't control your drinking.
However, his hesitation quickly faded once he saw that you didn't keel over because you were going to be sick from the alcohol.
You were struggling to breathe.
His walking quickly turned into a jog as he made his way over to you with a worried look in his eyes.
"What the hell is-"
You were indeed upset about something as tears streamed down your face. Your words were incoherent as you failed to push them out as you hyperventilated, barely taking in any oxygen with each breath in. One hand was placed onto the ground to keep yourself from falling face-first onto the concrete sidewalk, but even that was unsteady.
"_____?" he called out your name.
You didn't respond.
"Hey, brat," he said again, more urgently this time.
When you didn't respond, he kneeled down next to you.
You were having an anxiety attack. You weren't going to answer him in the state you were in.
He placed his hands on your shoulders and shook you a bit.
"Hey, brat," he spoke again quietly, although still with a sense of urgency as he attempted to ground you.
You rapidly shook your head, your eyes tightly shut, communicating that you knew that he wanted you to calm down, but that you couldn't.
"Look at me," he said sternly.
When you didn't respond, he let out a quiet "tch" before reaching out and gently lifting your chin so that you were looking into his eyes.
"I said look at me. Do as I say."
Your vision was still wavering, but you were able to somewhat fix your gaze onto his gray eyes. Although you still felt like the world was swirling around you, your immediate field of vision held still. All of your senses seemed distorted, including him, but you tried your best to listen to the words coming out of his mouth.
"Breathe in for four," he instructed.
You parted your lips and took a shaky and unsteady breath in, but it immediately got caught in your throat and you felt your chest convulse as you heaved again.
He shook your shoulder again to get your attention.
"Through your nose. Try again."
You slowly began to inhale through your nose, never taking your eyes off him.
"Hold for four."
You held your breath, with those four seconds feeling absolutely agonizing. You tried to focus on him as he fixed his gaze intensely on you, refusing to break eye contact with you.
"Out for four. Through your mouth this time."
You exhaled slowly through your mouth, having just done your first successful breathing cycle from within the past twenty minutes or so.
"Good," he said quietly with a nod. "Again."
It took a few more rounds of box breathing, but you were able to stabilize your breathing and somewhat calm your perception of the world around you.
With your anxiety attack somewhat mitigated, you finally collapsed and sat on the ground, burying your face into your hands as you quietly sobbed to yourself.
~~~~~
You were at the same diner as last month. You barely remembered walking in through the doors, much less getting into Levi's car and getting driven here, but you found yourself looking down at the now empty basket of fries and chicken tenders that you had apparently ordered for yourself.
You looked up and saw Levi sitting across the table, having opted for a cup of black coffee. It wasn't like he was going to sleep anyway.
This was the first time that Levi had seen you this upset. Sure, you were upset the last time you were at this diner, but that appeared more similarly to a low mood state, in contrast to him finding you sobbing and hyperventilating on the ground thirty minutes ago.
He could've just taken the both of you home, but considering how unsteady you were as he got you to stand up and how much you were babbling and incoherently apologizing to him, he opted to take you here instead. He figured at least the food would sober you up enough to tell him what the hell had happened.
You had spent the entire car ride sobbing and apologizing to him for a variety of reasons that he had never even thought of or considered. Sure, he was annoyed that you pulled him away from going home and shutting himself in for the night, but apologizing for being useless hardly seemed appropriate.
"...Thanks," you muttered quietly as you sniffled, looking down at the basket of fries. It was less that you were fixated on the fries and more that you were afraid to look up at Levi.
"...Don't mention it," he uttered, taking a few seconds to respond.
You finally glanced up at him, fully expecting him to be scowling at you, but you were instead met with his signature neutral expression.
"I do tend to gravitate towards food when hammered, so..." you said as you trailed off.
"Yeah?" he asked, crossing his arms as he watched you. "So you would've found yourself here regardless?"
"No," you said as you shook your head. "I don't think I would have."
You averted your gaze as you pulled up vague memories of the anxiety attack and Levi coaxing you out of it.
"Not the way that I was anyway."
You didn't expect Levi to come in with knowledge on how to calm you down. Everyone always just said "quit worrying" or "breathe", which did little to nothing. Levi was the last person you had expected to show up and actually walk you through something as fundamental as breathing—but you were grateful. You really didn't know what you would have done had he not shown up when he did.
You felt your face heat up in embarrassment.
"So...thanks," you mumbled again.
You heard him click his tongue.
"Didn't I just say not to mention it?"
You vaguely saw him grab something and by the time you looked up, a balled up napkin came flying across the table towards you. Levi had bunched it up and threw it at you as a way of getting you to quit apologizing.
You swatted it away right before it hit your forehead, giving him an annoyed glare.
Regardless, it did make you feel better. You were beginning to sober up.
You stared at the balled up napkin for a few seconds before opening your mouth to speak again.
"Petra said something shitty," you mumbled.
"That girl you're always hanging out with?"
"Yeah," you whispered as you nodded. "She said something about how what my aunt said a few weeks ago could've been her 'way of caring', and that she had a point of-"
You suddenly stopped speaking as you felt your body tense up again as you recited in your head the words your supposed "closest" friend had mentioned to you.
"A point of the fact that I'm 'wasting' my parents' lives being the way that I am," you spoke quietly, with the end of your sentence being barely audible, as if you were afraid that speaking the words would confirm that they were true.
Levi raised his eyebrows at that comment.
"The way that you are?"
You looked over at him and gave him a grim expression.
"The semester didn't end great. Grades weren't all there. I even have some classes that I need to do extra stuff with over break to pass."
Petra's comment threw you off. You hadn't expected it from her. She was generally a very nice person, but you also knew that she'd occasionally mention something out of left field without really thinking about it. She was the embodiment of toxic and blind positivity, which was helpful for superficial problems that weren't actually upsetting. That wasn't really the case when it came to something that bothered you on such a deep level. The alcohol didn't help either.
Levi scoffed and an annoyed expression quickly overtook his facial features.
"Sorry," you whispered again, looking down with a shameful expression.
"What the hell are you sorry for?"
"I'm sorry for bothering you with this," you said as you continued to look down. "I can tell it's annoying you."
You knew how late it was and you knew that he worked a closing shift tonight. The fact that he came all the way out and took the time to get you food to sober you up and make sure that you were okay filled you with regret, guilt, and remorse.
You heard him let out a sigh of disappointment.
"It's not that."
You glanced up at him again, unsure of what he was trying to say.
"I just forget how annoying you all are about your grades," he grumbled while glaring off to the side.
Upon seeing you staring at him with a confused expression, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table while looking at you.
"People aren't to give a shit about your grades after you get your first job. Hell, even your first job is barely going to look at your grades. Your grades don't mean shit if you don't have anything to back it up with."
You fell silent, looking at the table as you contemplated his words. You knew what he was getting at. Good grades weren't enough.
"You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper."
Your eyes widened as he spoke. He had gone from what sounded like beratement to affirmation within the blink of an eye. You were speechless as you looked at him. You didn't know how to respond. You didn't know how to even process it. Regardless, his words had hit you on some level.
You saw his eyes flash down to your empty basket of fries. He began to get up while you found yourself in your dumbfounded stupor, bringing his wallet out as he walked up to the front counter with an irritated look on his face.
You watched him as you saw him chatting with the cashier up front to pay for your late-night meal.
You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper.
Whether you would consciously admit it or not, those words were what you needed to hear. People always seemed to measure your worth based on your grades or your ability to get a certain thing done, and you still found yourself always preoccupied with what others thought.
For the first time, someone told you directly that those metrics did not dictate your worth. Your grades weren't everything.
Those words undoubtedly meant a lot, but it was strange. The strange part was that it came from Levi. He's the last person you would catch providing words of comfort to someone. Although you can't realistically say that you hate him anymore—which was hopefully reciprocated by him—you still didn't expect that from him.
However, because it was Levi, who usually wanted nothing to do with you, you were able to believe that what he said was true. It wasn't a blanket statement or something he pulled out of his ass to make you feel better. He just wasn't that type of person.
Thus, you found yourself reacting much more to those words than you would have had it been anyone else.
Levi glanced back at you, noticing that you were watching him. He broke eye contact with you to sign the receipt that the cashier had printed out for him.
Everything he said was true. You really were worth more than whatever dumb grade some asshole with a PhD decided to slap onto your GPA record.
Throughout the course of the semester, your perception of what Levi thought of you versus what Levi actually thought of you shifted and fell out of balance. He thought higher of you than you thought he did, although you weren't quite in the headspace to be able to accept or process that.
All you knew was that one sentence was enough to encourage you to fight past the hurdle that consisted of this very shitty first semester.
{{ Chapter 5: October I | Chapter 7: December I }}
Chapter Directory
i need levi so bad kdsjfksdj
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✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au
✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence.
✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, explicit descriptions of grief, comments from an emotionally abusive parent figure, mentions of death, reader being briefly depressed
✧ word count ➼ ~4.4k
Class was canceled.
While it was annoying for you to have to walk back home after freshly arriving on campus only to have to go back again in two hours, you were secretly grateful. You had work to catch up on.
Not wanting to deal with the more crowded study spots on campus, you found your way over to the cafe that you conveniently lived by. It made it so you could stop at home if you needed anything—plus you liked the drinks they had, so it was a win-win scenario.
You make eye contact with Levi immediately upon entering the cafe. He was frowning, but for once, it didn't seem to be obviously directed at you. Whatever hostility that had been present since the first day you've met him seems to have faded, although you weren't sure if it was because you got used to it or if it was because you both lacked the energy to continue hating each other. Either way, something had changed.
You took a seat at the bar by him. Before you could pull out your laptop and get settled in, he slid a mug of your go-to Matcha tea latte over to you.
"Thanks," you muttered as you glanced up at him and passed him your card.
He didn't take it, choosing to wave his hand to get you to put it away.
You raised an eyebrow at him for giving you a free drink, but happily put your card away. You weren't sure what was going on with him, but you weren't going to complain over not having to pay. It's not like you had a steady source of income.
You took a sip of your Matcha, with the subtle frown on your face dissipating upon tasting the warm liquid. Levi had made it just the way you liked it—with coconut milk and a shot of espresso. A small smile appeared on your face as you took another sip. At least class getting canceled meant you could have your comfort drink earlier in the day, which brought your mood up significantly.
Levi glanced over at you as you happily sipped on the drink he made you.
You weren't supposed to be here.
Given the fact that it was now nearly three months into the semester, Levi had your schedule memorized. You came in the afternoons most days, with you dropping by an hour or two earlier on Fridays due to only having morning classes.
"You skipping class already?"
The frown returned to your face.
"What do you mean 'already'?" you asked with a hint of defensiveness in your voice. "It's already November, we're hitting the latter half of the semester."
Levi let out a small tut at your response, annoyed at how sassy you decided to be right off the bat.
"Whatever," he mumbled, returning his attention to managing his station.
"'Whatever', my ass," you retorted, legitimately believing that his question was a backhanded comment about you being irresponsible.
You tapped your finger on the counter for a while. You didn't have to answer him or explain why you were here.
"Class got canceled," you finally spoke, finding yourself explaining it to him anyway. "Something about the professor needing to take their kid to the doctor."
You weren't sure what you were expecting from Levi, but you found yourself frustrated when he just glanced at you without really reacting one way or another. This just further fed into your belief that he was asking as a passive aggressive method to insult you.
Before your scowl could fully settle onto your face, you heard a familiar voice towards the back end of the café.
One of your club members—Sasha, the one that decided to eat all of your pastries at your very first meeting—was happily chatting it up with Nicolo at his counter.
"You know her?" Levi asked while shooting you an accusatory look, as if you were to blame for her presence. "She's been quite annoying recently, but she's been buying nearly all of Nicolo's pastries, so at least he's in a better mood than usual."
"At the cost of your own?" you pondered, shooting a sly grin over at Levi, which only widened upon him grunting in disapproval. You chuckled to yourself as you saw him get increasingly agitated.
"She's one of the freshmen that's been at the Honors Society," you said with a wave of your hand. "She's always eating up the pastries at the general meetings, so I'm not surprised that she found her way here."
You had fully expected Levi to either ignore your explanation or do another tut of unamusement, disapproval, or indifference.
Instead, he decided to ask you a question.
"What's your little club do again?"
You gasped dramatically, holding your hand over your mouth.
"The grumpy and aloof roommate that's interested in my extracurriculars?!" you said in feign astonishment, although a part of you was genuinely surprised. "Who are you and what have you done with Mr. Ackerman?"
Levi's expression was simply that of annoyance when you began your dramatic gesture, but it turned into a full scowl once you addressed him by his surname only.
"Mr. Ackerman?" he asked with a hint of disgust. "What the fuck?"
You shrugged and responded in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Wasn't aware that we were on a first name basis with how much you tend to ignore me at home."
"Cut that shit out," he scolded.
He wasn't sure why the gesture weirded him out. It made him feel uncomfortable and while it wasn't in his interests to be on a 'first name basis' with you, he'd prefer it to being called 'Mr. Ackerman'.
"Just Levi's fine," he grumbled.
"Well fine, 'just Levi'," you responded, placing emphasis on his name as if you were mocking him, "but only when you stop treating me like I don't exist when we're at home."
Levi grunted in disapproval again.
"Fine. As long as you quit being a little shit every other day."
"Is every 2-3 days fine?" you asked, trying your best to hold down the smug expression that was threatening to arise on your face. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from chuckling when you saw Levi's scowl at your question.
"You're insufferable."
You stuck out your tongue at him, prompting him to roll his eyes and walk away from you, waving you off.
"Consider it a deal, 'just Levi'," you responded.
He glanced at you over his shoulder, shooting you an annoyed glare, but otherwise didn't respond.
~~~~~
It was getting late into the night.
Of course, Levi was still awake. His eyes were burning after staring intensely at his laptop screen for the past four hours.
He groaned to himself as he forced himself to get out of his chair, grabbing his mug of tea that was now long empty.
He stepped into the hallway, immediately noting that something was off when he saw that all the lights were off. He hadn't heard you come home and he saw that your bedroom door was wide open with your lights off. Upon walking past it, he was able to see that you weren't there. You weren't in the kitchen or living room either.
You weren't home.
Levi found himself more curious than he was concerned. It was already 1am and although you did find yourself at parties on the weekends, it was rare for you to still be out this late into the night when you had classes in the morning.
He placed his mug into the sink, giving it a quick wash before placing it onto the drying rack. After drying off his hands, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache build up in the center of his forehead.
Some nights were better than others.
Insomnia was already difficult to deal with, but it was made much worse when he had external stressors—and staring at his laptop screen for hours to write up some paper he couldn't care for and had no motivation to do didn't help.
Levi sighed and glanced out the window, wondering if he should go on a drive. It was the only thing he found himself able to do to relax when stressed. It had become a habit and was usually enough to reset his mood enough for him to get back to whatever it was that was causing him stress.
However, upon seeing raindrops gently begin to cloud the windows, he ultimately decided against it.
He wasn't going to get any work done at this rate. He didn't have the attention span to work and he couldn't sleep either.
As he ran through his options in his head, he felt his phone buzz.
He knew it was you. No one else would really text him this late. He sighed as he brought his phone up to his face to see what you wanted that warranted a text message at 1 in the morning.
> [Matcha Girl (1:23am)]: you up?
> [Matcha Girl (1:30am)]: don't ignore me, i can see ur read receipt >:(
> [Levi (1:32am)]: What do you want?
> [Matcha Girl (1:34am)]: i'm at the library and the buses are down. can u come pick me up?
> [Levi (1:35am)]: Sounds like your own problem to deal with.
> [Matcha Girl (1:37am)]: :(
> [Matcha Girl (1:40am)]: i dont want to walk its about to rain :(
> [Levi (1:41am)]: You're so annoying.
> [Levi (1:43am)]: Which library are you at
~~~~~
Of course, on the one day I decide to stay up late working, the buses are down and it's raining.
You leaned your head back against the plastic wall of the bus stop shelter you found yourself sitting under. You were sitting and waiting for Levi, having texted him to come pick you up after the app for your bus line rudely decided to not alert you that the buses were down.
You didn't pull these late-nighters often, but you had an exam coming up within the next week that you had to cram for. You just lost track of time.
You quietly groaned to yourself once you realized that you would have been kind of fucked if Levi didn't agree to come out in the middle of the night to come pick you up.
You texted him specifically because you knew he wouldn't be asleep, but you also couldn't deny that there was an implicit sense of trust now.
Whether you trusted him to actually do anything for you was still up in the air, but you at least trusted him enough to not leave you stranded in the middle of the rain—which was already more than your previous roommate (your ex-boyfriend) was willing to do.
You couldn't quite figure out Levi Ackerman. He made it abundantly clear that he hated you when you first moved in—which you happily reciprocated—but he had been acting differently ever since the night of the Rumbling.
You didn't sense as much hostility from him anymore. He actually made eye contact with you at home and would acknowledge you, even if that was just in the form of muttering the occasional "thanks" when you passed him something from the kitchen. Even the "annoying undergrad" comments had faded.
The only thing you could think of was that it was due to the deal you had jokingly made in the café the other day. With the way he glared at you as he walked away, you had fully settled with the possibility that it was just a one-sided joke and that none of the words exchanged in that interaction held any meaning—but his change in behavior was blatant and glaringly obvious.
You sighed to yourself as you tapped your feet on the ground, which was already coated with rainwater. Your hood was up to protect your face from the rain that was rapidly coming down. The bus stop shelter gave you a dry place to wait, but you still had to sprint over from the library.
Your eyes darted up as soon as you heard a car pull up. You recognized it as Levi's. Throwing your backpack over your shoulder, you walked up to the car, looking towards the ground to avoid getting assaulted by the heavily falling rainwater.
You glanced inside as you opened the door, holding your hand over your eyes to keep the rain out. You were met with Levi's impatient gaze as he gestured at you to hurry up and get inside.
"Try not to get the seat wet."
"Thanks," you mumbled as you climbed in, carefully setting your backpack down onto the floor in front of the seat and clicking the seatbelt into its buckle.
You kept your hood up as Levi shifted gears and began to drive. You had your hands in your pockets and you were looking awkwardly out the window as you tapped your foot on the ground.
"You're such a pain in the ass," Levi finally spoke, scolding you. "How the hell did you just happen to forget that the buses were down?"
Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
"Forget?" you asked, finally looking over at him. "Are they usually down this late?"
"No, but they've been down all day."
Now that you thought about it, you really haven't seen a single bus all day. You normally just walked around campus, so the fact that the entire bus system was down was completely missed by you.
"What the hell were you even doing?"
You sighed and spoke quietly.
"I have an exam coming up next week that I haven't had the time to study for," you mumbled.
You heard Levi scoff, but he didn't provide further commentary.
Levi glanced down at you. He didn't have much empathy for you in this situation. He didn't think you were really busy enough otherwise to not have been studying or doing your coursework as you were supposed to—and he was right: you didn't.
You've technically had plenty of time to keep up with everything, but you realized that your ability to focus was nowhere to be found. It started after the Rumbling. Every time you sat down to do anything that required mental strain, your thoughts kept on jumping around from seeing Zack at the party, Hange asking about your parents, all the way out to reliving the experience of your world falling apart when you were informed of your parents' death.
It was true that you had more than enough time to prepare, but last month had dug up memories that felt impossible to shove back down. As a result, you found yourself rapidly falling behind in coursework, as if you were swimming in a current that was moving against you, while having the weight that was known as grief strapped onto you, threatening to pull you under the first chance it could.
~~~~~
"How did you get a bad grade on an exam like this?"
Your grip on your phone tightened as you tried to ignore the amount of scrutiny that was present in your aunt's voice.
That test you had been studying for didn't go well. You showed up late to the exam and were one of the last students to finish. You weren't surprised, but were still devastated nonetheless when you got your grade back.
The last thing you wanted to do was to tell your aunt about it, but you had let it slip.
Your aunt was not a pleasant person. She took you in senior year of high school after your parents died. Growing up, she always thought you were meek, constantly pestering you with comments regarding needing to live up to others' expectations better. You never had a good relationship with her, but she was your only family left. You didn't have anyone else.
"I've...just been busy and it kinda slipped my mind," you said quietly.
"'Slipped your mind'?" she responded, barely letting you finish your sentence. "Setting up an annual doctor's appointment is something that would 'slip your mind', not an exam for a degree that you're paying thousands of dollars for—especially for a degree like yours."
"Degree like mine?"
You knew what she was getting at.
"Yeah, an English degree, of all things. Why couldn't you stick with pre-med?"
The rational part of you knew that what your aunt was spewing was bullshit. There was nothing wrong, deficient, or less about getting an English degree over going through a pre-med track. You were well aware of that when you switched majors, despite your aunt being fixated on the money aspect of a traditional STEM degree.
"Well, actually-"
You began to talk to try to educate or debate with your aunt about how your degree was just as valid as a "traditional" STEM degree, but she didn't let you finish your sentence.
"Your mother didn't die for this, you know."
Your mind and body froze.
"Don't make her sacrifice be in vain."
Your grip on your phone tightened to the point that you felt like you were shaking. Your breath was getting caught in your throat and you felt your face heating up, particularly right behind your eyes, while your hands rapidly cooled down, your palms becoming covered in clammy sweat.
"S-Sacrifice?" you asked, trying your best to keep your composure.
You tensed further as you heard the lock to the front door click.
You briefly acknowledged Levi as he walked in before averting eye contact. You balled up your other hand into a tight fist under the table. You were desperate to mask in front of both Levi and your aunt, but you were rapidly failing.
Your parents' death had nothing to do with you. They were traveling overseas when an accident happened. It wasn't your fault in any way, shape, or form, but your aunt loved telling you how disappointed they'd be in your lack of progress. If you were any less emotionally clouded due to your current struggle in processing their deaths, you'd be able to call her out on the bullshit.
Levi subtly glanced over at you as you continued to speak on the phone with your aunt. He knew something was off the minute he walked in through the door. Your body posture was tense and frigid. Your voice was low and you seemed more hesitant to speak. He could tell that you were upset, and that it was getting worse with each passing second.
While he couldn't hear what was being said on the other end, based on your responses and body language, he could tell that the other person on the line was either berating you or telling you upsetting news.
After the call finally ended, he glanced over at you and saw you just sitting at the kitchen table with an unreadable expression on your face. Once you finally got up, you walked past him in a rush without making eye contact and went into your room.
Levi glanced at your now-shut bedroom door. He was curious as to what had happened. The only other time he's even seen you remotely this upset was when Hange mentioned your family, but even that paled compared to this.
Although he was curious, he didn't intrude. It wasn't his business.
About an hour or two later, you came out of your room again. Needing a break from staring at the screen, Levi found himself sitting on the couch, sipping on a cup of tea as he did some light reading.
His eyes darted up as he subtly glanced at you. It was getting well into the evening and you had yet to eat, which was what Levi figured you finally came out of your room for.
You were still avoiding eye contact with him. Your face was still unreadable and your movements were sluggish, as if you lacked the energy to continue taking steps forward. Whatever had happened a few hours ago had clearly drained you.
Instead of seeing you grab food, Levi saw that you just filled up a glass of water before heading back into your room.
His eyes trailed after you as you dragged yourself back into your room.
Even Levi was starting to get concerned. This wasn't like you. This wasn't the petty, annoying, and stubborn roommate that he found himself stuck with. This wasn't even whatever version of you that he saw you as when interacting with your classmates. While he couldn't care less about the fact that you weren't looking or speaking with him, he did find himself questioning the fact that you hadn't eaten for the entire night.
He sighed to himself, putting his book down as he heard you open your bedroom door again. He stood up as you walked over to the kitchen sink and placed your drinking glass into it.
"Do you want to go on a drive with me?"
He spoke right as you were about to turn around and head back to your room to continue moping.
You briefly glanced at him, making eye contact with him for the first time that night.
"This apartment's getting stuffy and I need some air," he said nonchalantly as he grabbed his car keys and a light jacket. "You wanna come with?"
You blinked at him a few times. You were suspicious at the sudden offer, but you didn't have the energy to question it or play 4-D chess to try to read his mind.
"Sure."
~~~~~
It was a quiet night.
It wasn't that late into the evening, although most students would already be in their dorms for the night, other than the late nighters or those attending evening classes.
You stared blankly out the window as you felt the night breeze slipping in through the slightly rolled-down window. The wind was chilly as it hit your face and it brought you a strange sort of comfort.
There was some low-fi playing in the background as Levi smoothly drove through the small town that surrounded Paradis University.
You glanced over at him, silently watching as the wind blew through his hair, briefly lifting it up before it landed back down perfectly every time. The sleeves of his jacket were rolled up to expose his forearms. He was leaning back so that his arm was resting at the top of the steering wheel while his other hand gently gripped its bottom.
You knew that Levi commonly went out on late-night drives, so you were surprised that he invited you to come with him on one of them. You figured that this was his much-needed alone time, so it was strange for him to bring you along.
You took your gaze off him as you looked back out the window. You knew that he saw the exchange with your aunt, even if it was just over the phone. You knew that he saw you rush into your room and then refuse to come back out.
You sat in silence for a few minutes as he continued to drive towards nowhere in particular.
"It was my aunt," you finally spoke, your voice quiet and barely audible.
You heard him turn down the volume of the music so he could hear you better. You were adamantly looking out the window now, almost as if you were afraid to look at him now that you were speaking.
"On the phone?"
You nodded.
"She likes to do 'check-ins' now, apparently," you muttered dryly.
You looked down as you twiddled your thumbs in your lap.
"I didn't do too hot on that exam."
You had no idea why you were opening up to your roommate that you swore you hated just a few weeks ago—but you were.
"Says my parents died for nothing," you mumbled, afraid that your voice would break if you spoke any louder.
Levi glanced over at you as you spoke.
He had somewhat deduced that you had either lost your parents or didn't have any just from what was brought up around Halloween.
It was a shitty comment. He now understood why you were the way you were for the entire afternoon. Given how deeply disturbed you were by even the thought of your parents last month, he could only imagine how much worse this harsh comment from a family member was on you.
The two of you were silent again for a while, with the only noise being the rumbling of the car and the barely audible low-fi still playing in the background.
Finally, Levi parted his mouth to speak.
"It feels lonely, but it doesn't have to be."
"What?" you asked, fully looking over at him in confusion.
"Dead parents. Shitty extended family," he began listing as he glanced over at you again. "It feels lonely, but it doesn't have to be."
You blinked at him a few times, keeping your gaze on him even after his eyes returned to the road.
Has he gone through something similar?
He noticed your prolonged gaze on him.
You saw him slightly adjust his grip on the steering wheel.
"My mom died when I was eight. I was picked up by my uncle," he elaborated. "Shitty bastard."
He had indeed gone through something similar.
You weren't sure how this made you feel. You did appreciate that he reciprocated the gesture of opening up, although you never held the expectation that he would.
"Ran into another kid that also lost his parents—kinda became family that way," he mentioned, glancing over at you again. "So it doesn't have to be lonely."
You knew what he was getting at. You crossed your arms, running through the list of people you knew in your head. You weren't sure who you would consider as a found family. Sure, you had friends, but you weren't close enough with any of them.
They were at least better than your aunt, who technically was your family.
You looked up through the windshield again as you felt him pull in and park. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you saw that he had pulled into the parking lot of a local 24-hour diner. You looked at him, questioning the detour.
"Come," he said, motioning for you to get out of the car as he turned the engine off. "Let's get you something to eat before you start getting all bratty because you haven't eaten anything all night."
{{ Chapter 4: September | Chapter 6: November I }}
Chapter Directory
levi's stupidly observant for someone who pretends to be aloof all the time, js
if you're interested in getting tagged for updates, fill out this form here!
✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au
✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence.
✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, enemies to lovers (sorta), strangers to lovers, fem!reader, descriptions of reader being superficial (ITS PART OF THE BACKSTORY ILL EXPLAIN LATER ITS FINE), jean and eren being comedically competitive, the ex-boyfriend that was supposed to be porco that i renamed to zack, floche being gross, explicit descriptions of grief, substances/alcohol, college-typical parties
✧ word count ➼ ~4.8k
"Did you have to plan this on the day of the Rumbling?"
You shot an intentionally offensive side-eye towards Oluo. The two of you, plus the rest of the officers for your Honors Society, currently found yourselves at an arcade that was about a 10-15 minute walk from campus. It was the weekend after midterms, so you figured that it was the perfect time to host your first official social event.
However, your generally clueless vice president and social committee chair decided to conveniently book the event on the one night in which another major event that you were all planning on attending was occurring. You had initially said you would handle the booking and were pleasantly surprised when Oluo had offered to do it instead, only to be horrifically disappointed once you found out the date he chose.
This was why you never bothered asking the other officers to do anything—it always ended up like this. It was chaotic, disorganized, inconvenient, or all of the above.
The Rumbling was a rave at a nearby club on the outskirts of campus. They hosted a Halloween party every year, but had an age restriction of being 21-years old due to the open bar, which meant that this was the first year that you could attend without doing something shady to get a fake ID of some sort.
Literally all of the other officers were planning on going together, so you were more than pissed that Oluo had planned your social on this day. Not only did it disrupt your plans, but it also might give the freshmen a bad first impression. It wasn't much of a social support community if you were cutting them short and leaving them on their own at their very first formal event.
"I forgot!" Oluo exclaimed in defense, which earned an eye roll from you.
You looked over towards the entrance as you heard the door open and saw a few other students walk in. They weren't at your general meeting last month, so you didn't recognize them, except for one.
You smiled and waved at Marlo. You had never talked to him, but you've seen him behind the counter at the café before.
"Oh hey!" you said with a smile as Marlo walked up to you. "You're the freshman that works at Levi's café, right?"
"Sophomore," Marlo said awkwardly as he shuffled. "Just started, but yeah!"
After chatting a bit, it turns out that you and Marlo were both in an individualized track related to writing, although you were focused more on creative writing whereas he was focused more on grant-writing for criminal justice organizations. It was the same program, but completely different tracks.
Everyone had formed into their own little circles. Most had gathered around the dining table to chat while devouring the pizza you had ordered.
You looked up as you noticed a particularly rowdy group on the other side of the arcade.
It seemed that Eren and Jean were bickering with each other in front of a Dance Dance Revolution game, nearly having a yelling match over who was better at the game, while Mikasa was playing, clearly outscoring the both of them combined.
You were nervously checking the time periodically, wanting to end the event as late as possible without having to rush to get to the Rumbling later. After about an hour and a half, you began wrapping up, motioning for everyone to clean up before heading back to campus as a group.
Although the event had ended early, you were able to tell that the freshmen had a good time with how chatty they were on the way back to campus.
While that was good news, you still found yourself being restless, walking at a slightly faster pace than everyone and forcing yourself to slow down and wait occasionally. You were more than overstimulated by the time you finally dropped everyone off at the main hub on campus for them to each head to their individual dorms.
You watched them intensely as they all went into the building. By the time the door had shut, you were long gone, leaving the other officers confused.
They were supposed to accompany you to the party, but you found yourself much more stressed than they were, which resulted in you making a beeline for your apartment.
By the time you had arrived, you were out of breath and running purely on adrenaline. You entered through the front door and immediately ran for your room, without even taking a moment to notice if your aloof roommate was at home.
You frantically opened the door to your closet, your eyes scanning through all of your clothes.
It was silly, but the reason you were so stressed was because you weren't sure of what to wear to the Rumbling. It was a high-key Halloween party, so you felt obligated to wear a costume. There was nothing about a dress code and a good amount of people went in casual clothes, but you still felt the need to wear something that was obviously a Halloween costume.
Your eyes immediately fell onto a party dress that you had bought a few weeks ago that you had planned to be your default get-up whenever you went out. However, it'd be boring to wear such a plain thing to a Halloween party—and you definitely didn't want to seem boring.
After a few minutes of digging through your closet, you tensed as your eyes fell on a maid costume you had bought as a joke freshman year. You never intended to wear it as an actual costume—even now, a part of you resisted against it, wondering if you could find something else to wear.
You tapped your finger on the closet door, desperately trying to think of anything else to wear.
After a few minutes, you realized that you couldn't afford the time needed to labor over this decision. You immediately grabbed the maid outfit, groaning in exasperation.
~~~~~
The club was more than filled by the time that you arrived. Both you and Petra stepped inside after showing the bouncer your ID's. The music was stupidly loud, there was a DJ cheering everyone on at the very back, and fake smoke littered the air. A mix of students and locals were dancing on the dance floor, with some choosing to hang out around the local bar.
This wasn't your first party. You've definitely drank and partied before, but being 21 meant that you could officially drink now. It had a different feel to it. Some of the thrill that you used to get from illegally drinking had faded, but you felt that you were now able to enjoy it properly.
A few minutes passed before you noticed Oluo and Gunther also step in, with a tall gentlemen quickly following. You had never met him, but Gunther mentioned that he was friends with Eld and that he was bringing him along to catch up.
"You got changed fast!" Oluo said immediately, eyeing your maid costume.
You immediately punched his shoulder, feeling more than a little embarrassed that his first comment to you was related to your last-minute costume that you were already reluctant to wear.
"You think we'll see anyone we know?" Petra asked as she looked around.
"Probably," you said, walking past Oluo who was now rubbing his shoulder in pain. "It's a pretty big party."
The first half of the night was a blur for you. You remembered doing some shots while getting to know Eld, never mingling too far into the dance floor. The mosh pit-style get-up was just never your thing.
You were feeling a gentle buzz at this point and the sensation allowed you to let loose for a little while and forget all the bullshit you had to otherwise deal with.
However, that didn't last very long.
You felt your entire body freeze up with anxiety as your eyes fell onto your ex-boyfriend's figure on the dance floor.
Your relationship with Zack was not the best one. It wasn't anywhere near healthy, and the last time you saw him, you were having a yelling match and he kicked you out, which was what prompted your whole housing situation.
You saw him begin to turn in your direction and you immediately hid behind Eld's tall figure, thankful that you had noticed in time so that he didn't see you.
"What's up with you?" Eld asked, noticing your sudden change in behavior.
"N-Nothing!" you replied nervously, forcing a smile. "I'm going to grab a drink!"
You kept your head low as you quickly headed towards the bar, which was on the opposite side of the venue, immediately finding the most tucked-in corner seat that you could find and plopping down onto the barstool while burying your face in your hands.
After you took a few minutes to catch your breath, you gestured over to the bartender for a shot. Suddenly seeing Zack had sobered you up more than you would have liked it to and you definitely needed the numbing effect of more alcohol to forget his presence, although your night was already somewhat ruined.
Just what I needed. On the one night I decide to let myself let loose after the shitshow that was the first half of the semester and he's here.
You frowned as you glanced back towards the dance floor.
He can come out to a rave in the middle of the night, yet he couldn't find the time to drop off my shit?
You weren't surprised, but it still pissed you off.
Your view of the dance floor was immediately obscured as someone decided to sit next to you—a bit too close for comfort.
He was a scrawny dude roughly your age, with a cocky face and a questionable haircut that somewhat looked like a bird's nest. You couldn't tell if the haircut was purposeful or not. It looked ridiculous either way.
You've seen him around campus. He was a sophomore majoring in business, so you never had the chance—or desire—to interact with him.
"Name's Floche," he said with a tone of confidence that didn't really match his appearance. "Can I buy you a drink?"
You scoffed at him.
"Are you even old enough to be drinking?"
"I can be," he said with a shrug.
You grimaced for a split second at his answer, although it was barely noticeable—and especially not noticeable to someone like Floche. You quickly changed your expression to one of a forced smile.
"I'm okay, thanks! Already took a bunch of shots."
"Oh c'mon, let me treat you!" he responded, scooting a bit closer. "You're too pretty to be here alone, so let me keep you company."
Part of you had hoped when he sat down that he was just being friendly, but now you could no longer deny that he was being aggressively flirtatious. Normally, you wouldn't mind the random comments you'd get at parties. They were usually non-consequential, other than making you uncomfortable in the moment.
However, with your elevated anxiety due to suddenly seeing Zack, you really didn't have the emotional capacity to handle something like this at the moment. Any intention of humoring Floche with his cheesy and flirtatious commentary was nowhere to be found.
"Who said I'm alone?"
He needed to go away.
Instead, he scooted even closer to the point that you were starting to feel cramped as you scooted back towards the wall, cursing at yourself for choosing to sit in the corner.
"Well, you're over here on your own, without looking around for anyone you know."
He was getting way too close.
"Just let me buy you a drink! I promise you won't regret it."
"Mmm, I said no thanks," you responded sternly.
Floche responded by gesturing to the bartender.
You were not in the mood for this. You were beginning to get more than pissed, to the point that your people-pleaser façade began rapidly diminishing. You couldn't get yourself to continue masking.
You scowled at him.
"Dude, are you allergic to the word 'no'?"
"Don't worry," he said with a smirk. "I like it when you play hard-to-get!"
That did it. In that exact moment, you no longer gave a single shit about what others thought of you.
"What the fuck, I'm not-"
"Oi, fuck off, you lanky parasite."
You heard a familiar voice that brought you a heavy sense of relief—in contrast to how irritated it usually made you feel.
Floche looked over and made eye contact with Levi. He was about half a foot taller than your roommate, but Levi was much more intimidating than he was.
"What, are you her boyfriend or something?"
"Fuck no," you both responded at once.
You felt the corner of your lips tugging up subtly into a smirk in response to your simultaneous answer. At least you were on the same wavelength with Levi on something—a feat you never thought you'd achieve.
"See? I wasn't here alone?" you motioned towards Levi, hoping that this would be enough to get Floche to go away.
"So fuck off," Levi scolded, not giving Floche to make the decision himself. "Don't make me say it again."
After Floche finally left, Levi sat on the stool next to you. You glanced at him and noticed he wasn't in a costume of any sort, simply wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He couldn't possibly look any more plain.
"Fucking undergrads," he grumbled.
"What's with you and hating undergrads?"
You'd lost count of how many antagonistic comments he had made towards undergraduate students at this point.
"It seems I can't get rid of you even when I'm not at the café or apartment," he said, dodging the question. "How annoying."
You pursed your lips, giving him an unamused expression.
"You're the one that chose to sit next to me. You could be anywhere in this giant ass theater."
"That douche was harassing you," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, as if he was astonished that you were even questioning him. "And there's too many fucking people in here."
He paused, his gaze moving from your eyes down to the rest of your body, finally noticing your outfit.
"Kinda ironic that you're in a maid costume when you're shit at cleaning at home."
You groaned and rolled your eyes. While you were embarrassed when Oluo commented on it, you felt your head ache in response to Levi's comment.
"I'm going to need at least three more shots if I'm going to be forced to talk to you," you grumbled as you gestured the bartender over.
You immediately downed the shot when you received it, grimacing a bit at the feeling of the alcohol traveling down your throat.
Your eyes went back into the crowd, scanning the crowded theater nervously. You were well hidden, but the fact that Zack was here still threw you off. This did not go unnoticed.
"What the hell are you doing here if you're truly not alone?" Levi asked, raising an eyebrow at you. "Doesn't seem like you to just be drinking in the corner."
"Don't act like you know shit about me or why I'm here," you immediately responded, barely giving him a chance to finish his sentence.
You realized that you responded much more defensively and sternly than you had intended. His question had struck a nerve and your anxiety plus the alcohol made it harder to regulate around him.
You took another shot as he looked at you in his usual unamused fashion, but didn't inquire further.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, deflecting from his question. "This is the last place I thought I'd see you at."
"'Don't act like you know shit about me'," he muttered, repeating your phrase word-for-word, earning a scowl and a groan of frustration from you.
You told yourself it was the lighting or the alcohol playing tricks on you, but swore you saw an ever-so-subtle smirk appear on his face that was gone within the second.
Levi glanced into the crowd and motioned over towards the opposite corner of the bar. You looked over and saw two people conversing. You vaguely recognized Hange, who was rapidly chatting away with a tall blonde gentleman that you had never seen before.
"Friend's in town," Levi mentioned. "He's actually the roommate you replaced."
You glanced at Miche again. Although the two of you were in contact to get the sublease set up, you had never physically seen him before.
"I'm kinda pissed at him for moving out because now I have you to deal with," Levi grumbled.
You stuck your tongue out at Levi, which earned you a grimace in response from Levi.
His eyebrows immediately scrunched together as he saw your eyes slightly widen before your entire body tensed up again.
Your eyes followed Zack's figure as he walked by again. Once you were able to confirm that he hadn't noticed your presence, you finally let out a breath that you weren't aware you were holding in.
Your anxiety was acting up again and you felt like you couldn't stand being in that theater any longer. It was as if you were suffocating on the spot.
"I'm getting out of here," you mumbled as you took the third shot, immediately getting up.
"On your own?" Levi asked, turning in your direction as you began to walk off. "You're not seriously thinking of driving, are you?"
You stopped in your tracks and scoffed at him.
"Of course not. I'm walking, dumbass."
"It's a 45-minute walk at least, dumbass."
"Well, I have plenty of time," you retorted as you began to walk away again.
"Tch. I'll just drive you, you stubborn brat," Levi said in exasperation as he dug his keys out of his pocket.
He glanced up as you gave him a skeptical look, questioning his ability to drive.
"I'm sober contact anyway. Just let me grab Hange and Miche."
He got up and walked past you to summon the two of them over, indicating that he was leaving.
"Any excuse to leave this place."
~~~~~
You felt like you could finally breathe again once you got home. Not only were you able to dull down the anxiety that had been itching at you ever since you saw Zack at the party, but you were also able to finally take off that incredibly uncomfortable maid costume, regretting ever putting it on in the first place. You immediately changed into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, which was the complete opposite of the costume you had been wearing earlier in the night.
By the time you came out of your room, Levi noticed that you had looked much more relaxed than usual. It was that stark contrast that he noticed every day. The person he knew at home versus the person you presented yourself as in public were two very different people.
Despite both Hange and Miche hanging out at the apartment, you were more than fine being in your casual home clothes. It was likely due to the alcohol and heightened anxiety from the party making you exhausted enough to just not be bothered to give a shit once you actually got home.
You typed a quick text message to Petra letting her know that you got home safe before tossing your phone onto the couch and sitting down on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table in your living room. You didn't want to think about that party for the rest of the night.
The company helped keep you distracted. Miche sat on the couch while you, Levi, and Hange surrounded the coffee table. You were sipping on a beer as you chatted with Miche about having Levi as a roommate.
"Was he as annoying when he was living with you?"
A smug grin appeared on your face as you noticed Levi scowling at you.
"He had his quirks for sure," Miche responded with a shrug.
"So he's just a dick. Got it."
Levi's scowl grew more intense as he glared daggers into your skull.
"A dick that cares," Hange chimed in.
The scowl on Levi's face turned into an unamused frown as he looked over at Hange, wondering exactly what was going on through their head at all hours of the day to prompt them to say such things.
"Ha," you forced a dry chuckle as you sipped on your beer some more. "What an oxymoron."
The four of you spent the next 45 minutes or so just chatting. Miche and Levi were catching up. Hange was asking you about your studies. Hange and Miche bonded over what it felt like to be free from the constraints of University.
You and Levi avoided talking directly to each other, but this wasn't new—and from the lack of surprised looks from Miche or Hange, this wasn't news to them either. He had talked to them about you.
All horrible things, I bet.
A frown appeared on your face as you began to ruminate over what it was that Levi could have been saying about you behind your back. You couldn't stand him and couldn't really care less what he thought of you, but the possibility of him spouting that nonsense to others made your stomach churn.
"So what made you need the sudden move?" Miche asked, pulling you out of your head. "I had basically given up on finding a sublease when you showed up."
You looked up towards the ceiling, trying to figure out the best way to describe your situation in a way that wouldn't upset you or require further explanation that you weren't prepared to give.
"...Shitty ex kicked me out."
The look on Levi's face went from an intense scowl to a subtle frown as you spoke. He was more than prepared to spit out a snarky response at whatever excuse you came up with to justify upending his life, but he found himself staying quiet once you started talking. He hadn't bothered to ask (or care) about your housing situation prior to living with him, so he didn't know any of this either.
"Didn't really have anywhere to go."
As long as you left it at that, you could continue this conversation without getting too upset and be able to ride out the rest of the night.
"No family?" Hange asked.
It was an innocent and normal question. Most people would first go to their parents—or whoever took care of them growing up—for refuge in those situations, and especially for undergraduate students, who could just wait until August for leases to start renewing.
You fell silent. An unreadable expression appeared on your face and in your eyes as you lowered your gaze to the ground. You were emotionally exhausted and still buzzed from the alcohol. Masking was out of the question.
"Sorry," Hange spoke after a few seconds, knowing that they had brought up a sore topic.
The atmosphere was thick with tension and you felt yourself grow increasingly tense. You felt like everyone's eyes were on you, even if they physically weren't.
Family—who would you consider family? There wasn't anyone real that came to mind, other than your aunt, who was likely the least supportive person on the planet.
"Shitty aunt that was out of the country. That's about it," you said shortly, clearly indicating that you didn't want to continue the topic.
It was already too late. The conversation had already brought up all the grief you had buried deep within you. You felt like saying a single word more about it would make your whole personality come crumbling down into a sobbing mess.
"I'm getting another drink," you mumbled.
You were too enclosed within your own mind to notice, but Levi's gaze had been focused on you ever since he saw your reaction to Hange's question. He saw the way that you tensed and emotionally withdrew. He could tell that it was a painful topic to talk about—and likely, fresh. Your pain was either fresh or repressed to the point of agony.
He wasn't a stranger to that pain.
He subtly watched you as you stood up and made your way into the kitchen to pour yourself another drink, your expression remaining stagnant—but Levi could tell by the way you moved or even the slight way that you scrunched your eyes that you were deeply disturbed by the conversation.
For the first time since he first set eyes on you, he saw you as someone other than just a spoiled brat.
Maybe he was wrong about you.
~~~~~
Your head was pounding. You couldn't tell if it's from the hangover or the lack of sleep—and you couldn't tell if the lack of sleep was from the alcohol, the mention of your parents, or both. You had been chugging water ever since you woke up, but it was doing little to help.
You squinted and groaned in pain as you arrived at your obnoxiously bright classroom. Holding your hand up to your forehead to shield your eyes from the assault of the bright lights, you slowly made your way over to the table that Oluo and Petra sat at, immediately burying your face into your arms once you finally got to sit down.
"Rough night?" Petra asked.
"You could say that," you responded quietly, your voice muffled as you continued to hide between your arms.
Just being upset was one thing. Just being drunk was one thing—you never could sleep well after drinking, anyway—but Hange's question brought up bad memories. Those memories frequently translated into nightmares. You couldn't sleep no matter how hard you tried.
You couldn't get your parents' death out of your head.
Ever since their passing, it was literally just you and your aunt. She became your main source of support, but you couldn't realistically count it as support. Although you were hesitant to admit it, you knew that she was a pretty shitty person, and generally drained you more than she was able to help you.
You were well aware of your people-pleasing tendency, or your inability to really stand up for yourself or voice your opinions in certain situations, and you knew where that came from. Your aunt constantly made comments along the lines of having to "save face" in front of others, and that social relations made or break whether someone could be successful in their lives and that you should prioritize getting along with others, even if it was at the expense of your own autonomy.
You knew it was bullshit deep down. You knew she was projecting her inability to hold anyone in her life onto you, but she had made those comments ever since you were young. Your parents did try to passively shield you from it, but then the comments came in full force once your parents passed, leaving you completely vulnerable to those thought processes. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to break that chain of thinking, but that involved energy that you just didn't have right now.
Your breakup with Zack plus Hange's question from the night before were rude reminders that you really didn't have anyone else. You didn't have anyone that you could really call your family.
"Magath is out today, isn't he?" Oluo mused out loud.
"Partied too hard?" you joked dryly, trying to distract yourself.
You turned towards the classroom door when you heard footsteps approaching. The door opened and a tall blonde man with a beard and round glasses walked in. You remembered him as the neighbor that helped direct you to Levi's café on your first day at the apartment. Apparently, he was the substitute TA for the lecture today.
His voice, and therefore his lecture, was difficult to focus on, although you couldn't tell if it was because you weren't used to him or if it was due to the hangover. You felt yourself nodding off throughout the lecture, which you didn't fight, although your dozing never lasted for long.
It was either fall asleep in class and miss the content from a substitute TA or force yourself to stay awake and deal with the chaotic thoughts mixed with grief, anxiety, and anger that were running through your mind—and miss the course content anyway because you wouldn't be able to focus.
You were quickly regretting even coming to class, but staying at home wouldn't have been much better. You'd be trapped with your thoughts regardless—your thoughts of losing your parents and being left to navigate a harsh world all on your own, without a single stable source of support.
