Love is unreal

@humans-are-the-problem

I would appreciate it if you don't judge me because I try not to judge others. I have 14 piercings, more will be on its way.I'm 24. My bf treats me like a princess; i feel loved. I'm a realist, but a romanist. Until recently I thought there was no such thing as love. That we only used it as an excuse to have sex. I'm a crazy cat lady(mother of three cats). I love coffee, piercings, cats, FRIENDS the Tv show, Tim Burton,monsters and the creepier things in life. I hate people and what we do to each other. If it were up to me all the bad people would live on another planet. I'm sorry Cis male followers, but I've always had more hate for your gender. Or maybe I just can't tolerate bull shit and ass holes. House bound. Bi-sexual. Submissive. Dorky. Social anxiety. Designer.

20.6K posts

Angry/anxious post

I honestly feel with your angery outburst that I have no partner during these anxious inducing scenarios. I will do anything I possibly can to avoid these outbursts. Because not talking to me and treating me like shit from 4pm until Midnight is not fair. But I am to blame on parts of this and it’s not fair to you on that part

So starting now I’ll take myself into work when I need to go in to spare you

And I’ll start taking a lyft home after blood drawn so to spare you of the anguish of hearing my annoying cries

Hello old friend. It’s been awhile since we’ve chatted. Today I’m hitting a bad place mentally. I miss my Fiancé while he’s been with friends. I wonder if he’s distancing himself from me. My abandonment issues from past friendships and relationships makes me feel as if he’s growing tired of me. But I know deep down that’s not it.

It’s heathy for him to be with friends and to see people. I’m happy he’s being able to have time with them. But since May we haven’t had us time on our Friday dates like we normally would. Which makes me feel like we’re not connecting like how we normally would. I feel forgotten. Especially because he’s been mean on and off since February.

It’s been a year now since I’ve wrote a bad post

It’s been a year now since I’ve been depressed

It’s been a year now since the pictures of death in my head…

It’s been a year.

I feel myself slipping back in. So much is crumbling. My mind is crumbling

No matter how much I try… nothing is good enough. I’m bad at everything :/

I don’t think I’ll remote to anything.

I want to die.

I’m so tired of giving pieces of myself to everyone around me and not getting anything in return.

I never hear anything nice. Even though, I’m trying so hard. The moments I try to put myself first where I feel selfish for even doing so. I’m told I’m being selfish. I just want to stop being nice and thinking of others. I want to be selfish.

The only thing that brings me joy is house stuff. And now that’ll be taken away. I’m tired.

I wish someone could just kill me

I feel with every complaint you throw at me ... is like a heavy necklace weighing me down

Nothing gives me joy

I’m tired

I want to die...

Would anyone miss me if I were gone ? Because I don’t think so

Anxiety is so high. I can’t picture being anything but a designer but I can’t handle the way people make me feel... dying seems like the only option. I’m in such a bad state of mind.

If anyone is out there...I could really use a friend right about now..

I don’t think anyone in this world likes me. If that were the case why am always alone...

I hate that I need other people to be happy. I can’t be around my bf all the time. I want friends too.

Why can’t I be happy...

Who would even miss me... honestly who would miss me if I wasn’t around

I’m in such a bad headspace

I can’t help but miss you and our friendship. I wonder if we will ever be friends again

If anyone ever thinks that nobody will remember you or miss you if you die:

Today I read about a 17 year old girl who died recently. I didnt recognise her name, but I recognise her face.

I used to work at Subway, and I remember her. She would come in every Friday with her friends and order a tuna sandwich, double cheese and toasted. I knew her order off by heart because it was all she ever ordered, and she would always be very polite. I never knew her name until today.

I haven't seen her since I quit working there, 3 years ago. But I remember her and I remember her voice and her order and how polite she was and how I was always jealous of her hair. Now she will never order another 6 inch tuna sub and that is really upsetting me.

Somebody will miss you. Someone will remember you. The cashier at your local shop. The woman who always likes seeing you walk your dog. Your next door neighbours. A fellow school pupil who always admires your makeup or your hair. You will be missed.

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