[unwrittenphrases]

he sits there, silent, as she speaks. “we were taught as kids that love can change someone, that it can turn the coldest heart warm. but what we weren’t told is that no matter how much love you offer; they have to love you back in order to change. i didn’t know that when i poured my heart out into your palm. and i didn’t know it when you handed it back, time and time again with pieces missing. i didn’t know it when i told you i loved you and waited for the words to escape your mouth. i was foolish to think that my love could change you. because it wasn’t about the love i had for you, it was about the love you had for me that would turn your cold heart warm. and you didn’t. so it didn’t.”

[unwrittenphrases]

i wanted to say something to you, anything really. fuck you, or why?, or was it worth it? but all i could do was hold back the tears and walk away from you forever.

[unwrittenphrases]

i finally let myself think about you, about us, since that fight. and all i can say is, you made your bed, now lie in it.

[blossomfully]

I can’t promise you that I will never hurt you. For, humans often hurt each other. But I promise that I will never do it intentionally. And, I will always apologise afterwards.

[blossomfully]

“Two and a half years later, we sit across from each other. How are you? You ask. Well. I say. What I want to say is: I don’t really know what I’m doing here. Or, rather, you haven’t changed a bit. Or, you look exactly the same as on the day you left. I am stuck between keeping my distance and treating you the way I used to. Letting down my guard completely. It is so easy to slip into. But I could never do it if you didn’t do the same. We swap stories; updates. Everything seems so superficial. I don’t dare ask if these days you are happy. Though, I hope that you are. I tell you that I’m moving to a different city next month. You comment on the different colour of my hair. I don’t tell you that sometimes I still think about the way that you left. That it still colours my relationships; that I still worry that some happinesses are too good to be true. You tell me that your parents are getting divorced. You’ve finally realised that love never lasts. I don’t say anything. I have no evidence to the contrary. Yet, after a while, I say I think you’re wrong. You shrug your shoulders and let it fill the silence. Once, we would have argued for hours. As you stand to leave, I realise that I am no longer in love with you. I no longer know you. You are a stranger in a familiar body. And yet I do not recognise your hands. If you touched me now, I do not know whether it would feel like fire or ice. Maybe both. Maybe neither.”

— Sue Zhao // Meeting somebody you loved after a long time 

[unwrittenphrases]

“it’s so effortless with him,” she tells her mom.

“he makes me forget all the bad when i’m with him. it’s like all the problems disappear and it’s just the two of us together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.” and with that, a smile appears on her face as she remembers the day with him, wrapped in his arms without a single care in the world.

[blossomfully]

do things get better ?

How do I answer this?

Do I tell you yes? Without knowing you? Without knowing your situation?

Do I say, blindly, that yes, given time and energy - given effort and trust - given self belief and love, that things do get better?

Or do I say, I do not know? I do not know if the sadness, or stress, or emptiness will go away? That this may be the more honest answer?

Or do I say, I do not know, but I have to believe that the answer is yes?

I think I will say this.

If you are searching for happiness, do not start by looking for great waves. Do not spend your days looking for a key.

Start at the beginning. Start with a shower and the feeling of being clean. Start with ten minutes out of a busy day for silence. Start with a sensation of wonder for the sunset. Start with compassion for yourself, and others. Start with kindness.

And if you are struggling to start, start with the belief that things will get better.

In my experience, that’s the spark that ignites the fire.

[unwrittenphrases]

the message i never sent:

i’m sorry. i am so sorry for the hurt that i have inflicted on you. please understand that i never meant to hurt you. i wish i could go back; to the days when our love was so innocent, when we were so innocent. i remember who we were before, two broken people looking to fix the other, i’m sorry i failed you. i don’t blame you for leaving, and i’m not mad at you in the slightest. this was bound to happen, and all we were doing was delaying the inevitable. thank you for our little piece of forever. i loved you with every part of me, please always remember that.

[unwrittenphrases]

“after what felt like hours of silence, she heard her friend say, “i was a fool; for thinking this time would be different, for hoping that love would be enough.” she wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn’t find the words, so she just held her tight as she watched her best friend fall apart.”

—

[unwrittenphrases]

someone asked me to describe love and i almost broke down in tears. the only love i knew was yours, and it was filled with moments of such beautiful highs and terrifying lows. so was love the high moments? or was it the low? was it both? was it the look on your face when i told you i loved you the first time or was it the look on my face when you told me you didn’t? please help me understand. what is love? did we have it?

[unwrittenphrases]

“a letter to the past us: be happy; forget about all the outside problems and just be happy. tell each other everything; don’t leave a single thing out. hold each other’s hands; it’s a way of saying ‘i love you’ without having to actually say it. love with every fiber of your body; show the other person that you appreciate them and are grateful to have them in your life. there will be days when you won’t talk to one another, that’s okay. when you do talk again, tell the person what they missed, and that their absence was unbearable. when problems arise, talk about them; how you felt, how to solve them, and how you’re not going to leave. don’t take anything for granted; appreciate the times you have with each other to the fullest extent. this isn’t a movie, nor is it a tv show; this is reality and sometimes it’s going to be hard. on some days, you’ll think that the pain is intolerable, you’ll think that the damage is irreversible, but i promise, you guys will get through it because your love is stronger than either of you will ever understand. smile at one another; this shows that you enjoy the other’s presence. laugh at each other’s jokes, even if they’re not funny, and believe me, neither of you are comedians. sing at the top of your lungs; blast your music in the car and sing along with each other. never take each other for granted; just because you guys forgave each other doesn’t mean it’s okay to do it again. just love each other because that’s all you can do; love every flaw and every imperfection just as much as you love the great things about them. and when the time comes when love is just not enough anymore, let one another go. remember all the love and all the good times, but be selfless and let him/her find happiness; let yourself find happiness. you’ll still love each other, that won’t stop, ever, but it’ll be a different kind of love; just as strong, but for different reasons.”

—

[unwrittenphrases]

“please remember the good in me. remember my smile and just how much i loved you. please remember the me you loved,” she says as she gets up and walks out the door.

[unwrittenphrases]

“penny for your thoughts?” he asks her as they lay on the grass staring at the night sky. “one day, we’ll be alongside those stars,” she starts, “we’ll be right next to one another, and down here, there will be another hopelessly in love couple staring at the sky with their hands intertwined, waiting for the day they can take their place alongside one another in the sky, bound together for infinity.”

[unwrittenphrases]

today i realized just how alone i am. the people i thought would be by my side are no where to be seen. the people i would give my life for are too busy living theirs and i’ve got nothing left because i gave it all to them

[unwrittenphrases]

here i am, sitting in a room full of people and i have never felt so alone to have you by my side

[wnq-writers]

“‘do you want to know the worst part about walking away?’ she asks him. 'it’s hoping that they’ll run after you. that they’ll stop you and tell you not to leave. that they’ll beg you to stay. that they’ll tell you they need you,’ she says. 'but they never do. you never did.’”

— unwrittenphrases

[unwrittenphrases]

i wish i could make you understand the number of times i’ve written, deleted, rewritten and deleted again the things i would like to say to you. they ranged from the words “i love you” to “why did you leave?” there have been calm messages and ones that came at 3am with tears running down my face and the words “why was i not enough” being repeated from my lips. words of anger, love, self-hatred and everything in between. but none of them seemed enough to make you understand what i was feeling. because to be quite honest, i don’t know what i’m feeling. i just know that there are times when all i want is your hand to hold, times when i just want to see your solemn eyes and do anything i can to make you smile with them, times when i am so angry with you all i want is to scream at you. so tell me, how can i hate you and love you all at the same time?