Celebrity ex-boyfriends Kurt and Sebastian can’t seem to stop secretly hooking up
~1400 words
”So…” Kurt says as he emerges from the bathroom, somewhat freshened up but still in the process of locating his pants and other belongings. He looks around the room for clues, trying to remember in what order he lost what piece of clothing.
Sebastian hasn’t moved an inch; he’s still lying naked sprawled across the bed with his signature blissful Sebastian-after-sex smile on. Kurt rolls his eyes.
“What window do you want me to climb out this time?” Kurt asks as he finally locates his jeans and starts pulling them on.
He gets an answering groan from the bed.
“Or do you think it might be safe to sneak out the kitchen door?”
Kurt checks his watch. 5:30 AM. It’s late enough that it should probably be safe, but then again if anybody saw them leave the club together then there’s bound to be at least one or two paparazzi outside. Kurt isn’t sure it’s worth the risk. If their cameras are positioned at the right point near the entrance they probably will notice him sneaking out the kitchen door. Climbing down from the balcony is less risky—no matter how it sounds—because without x-ray vision there’s no way they could catch him.
A few more items of clothing later and he’s ready for departure.
“Sebastian?” Kurt says, approaching the bed to poke at him.
“No,” Sebastian mumbles, burying his head in the pillow.
“Kitchen entrance or climb down the balcony?”
Sebastian mumbles something inaudible.
Kurt pokes him harder.
“Focus, Seb.”
Sebastian groans loudly and turns, sliding up into a seated position. He gives Kurt a “now what?” look and Kurt has to contain his desire to hit him on the head with a pillow.
“Do you think they’ll be waiting outside?” He asks calmly instead.
Sebastian’s eyes slide to the clock at his bedside table.
“Probably.” He shrugs.
Kurt taps his foot, calculating. Then sighs. They need to stop doing this. They really, really need to stop.
“Fine, I’m climbing down. At least it hasn’t been raining today, last time was slippery as hell…”
He pulls his jacket on and even reaches down to tighten the laces on his shoes. Safety first.
“If you hear a giant scream in the next few minutes, please start thinking of a good cover story for my dad. And please note that ‘fell to his death while breaking in to steal back precious scarves and jewellery’ is preferable to ‘fell to his death while sneaking out after drunken sex,’ okay? And please be wearing clothes when the ambulance gets here. And look shocked. Horrified. ‘How could he try to break in?!’ But be saddened by my death. My dad will blame you though so you might want to move and change your name and go into the witness protection program, just in case.”
Sebastian snorts.
“’Fell to his death while sneaking out after drunken sex’,” he repeats quietly, shaking his head.
“See?” Kurt waves his hand, moving around the room—suddenly interested in whether he actually could have some precious jewellery left behind. “It just doesn’t have a good ring to it. I want something flashier for my headline.”
Rings. Flashy. He starts going through Sebastian’s drawers, certain he must have a few forgotten rings there.
“You weren’t even drunk,” Sebastian points out. “It would just be ‘fell to his death while sneaking out after sex’.”
Kurt groans, closing a drawer full of terribly unorganized sunglasses. Sebastian hasn’t objected to him spontaneously going through his stuff. He probably knows there’s no point.
“Yeah, well if anybody asks,” Kurt mutters, “—I was wasted.”
“If anybody asks?” Sebastian repeats, sounding amused.
“Oh shit,” Kurt looks up. “Right. I wasn’t here.”
“You weren’t here,” Sebastian agrees.
Kurt glances at the time again. He really needs to get going.
“I wasn’t here and I’m leaving now.”
He pockets a large ring—holding it up to show Sebastian first—and closes all the drawers he’s opened. There’s probably more of his stuff in there but nothing that he needs urgently. Nothing that’s worth breaking in for—not that anybody needs to know that.
He pauses in the doorway and looks at Sebastian, cursing his own body for being so utterly drawn to him. Why couldn’t they just break up and go their separate ways, why did they have to get into this mess?
“Don’t call me,” Kurt tells him.
“I never do,” Sebastian smirks.
Kurt rolls his eyes.
“Wish me luck,” he mutters, thoughts already on the balcony door and the climb down.
He almost knocks into a giant plant as he exits Sebastian’s bedroom and wonders how long that’s been there.
“Hey, Kurt?” Sebastian calls out.
“Mm?”
“Why don’t you just use the front door?”
Kurt almost knocks over the same plant again.
He has to steady it with his hands and breathe for a few seconds before he can re-enter Sebastian’s bedroom. He’s half expecting to find that he’s had some kind of brain seizure in there.
“I’m sorry—what?”
Sebastian shrugs, crossing his arms defensively.
“I’m just saying, you could use the front door. You don’t need to climb down the balcony and risk terrible headlines.”
“Ah yes,” Kurt laughs. “Because the front door won’t result in terrible headlines at all!”
Sebastian grinds his teeth. “I’m just saying—”
“What are you saying, Sebastian?”
“I’m just saying there are better options!”
“The front door wasn’t an option! It isn’t an option! It was kitchen door or balcony, that’s it!”
“Then use the kitchen door,” Sebastian snaps. “I just don’t get what the big deal is!”
Kurt laughs, throwing his arms out. “Of course you don’t! You never get what the ’big deal’ is! About anything! Ever!”
Sebastian groans, pulling a pillow up to throw his face into.
The silence gives Kurt a chance to cool down.
“I should—I should leave. Before we start this again. Because it’s almost 6 AM and we broke up almost three months ago so we really, really don’t need to be doing this. And I really, really need to leave.”
He starts backing out, hands behind him ready to catch the plant.
Sebastian lowers the pillow.
“Kurt…”
Kurt shakes his head, eyes locked on Sebastian’s hands, avoiding eye contact.
“Kurt for god’s sake—just stay the night. I’ll go out first thing tomorrow and if there’s anyone outside they’ll follow me and you can sneak out.”
“Sneak out in broad daylight?” Kurt laughs bleakly.
“Wear a hat.”
“Because that won’t draw attention.”
Sebastian sighs.
“What do you want from me here?” He asks, not unkindly. He sounds mostly sad. “I don’t want you climbing down from the balcony again, you almost slipped last time. It’s just not worth it. You’d probably scrape your knees at most but it’s still not worth it.”
“Seb…”
“I’ll sleep on the couch. Just stay the night.”
“Just stay the night?” Kurt repeats hollowly. “I can’t just—we can’t—I don’t… What are we even doing?”
Sebastian is quiet for a long moment.
“Stay the night and I’ll give you enough orgasms that you won’t have time to wonder?” He finally suggests.
Kurt smiles despite himself.
Then shakes his head.
“We can’t do this.”
“Shh,” Sebastian tells him, getting off the bed. Kurt has to close his eyes to not be completely overwhelmed by Sebastian’s naked body—which is ridiculous, since closing his eyes in no way helps him avoid picturing it.
“Shh,” Sebastian repeats, coming to stand inches away from Kurt.
Kurt swallows thickly.
“Who cares what we’re doing?” Sebastian whispers quietly, lips grazing against Kurt’s ear, sending shivers through him. “It’s none of their business, we don’t have to know what we’re doing and we don’t have to explain. We can do whatever we want. It’s for us, it’s what we want. That’s all that matters.” He pauses, pulling back ever so slightly. “It’s what I want,” he adds.
Kurt lets out a trembling breath. He opens his eyes, staring straight into Sebastian’s.
Any resolve crumbled long ago.
“Oh just fuck me,” he breathes, crashing his lips against Sebastian’s.
And Sebastian doesn’t need to be told twice.
