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hunter james clarington—mccarthy 26 years old. former olympic swimmer, somehow ended up married to the most annoying person on the entire planet, and what's worse? living with him and his baby brats. but at least i've got mr puss, considering i love him more than leviticus.     you can spell pain, or kiss           or run away, or little mistake                   without me                             or a, e, i, o, u

[huntermcc]

leviticxsmcc​:

Don’t call me out like that.

You get so horny so quick, It’s cute.

[huntermcc]

leviticxsmcc​:

bitch we’ve been here done this rodeo, you can’t stay off this dick

Oh please It’s you who get’s so turned on telling me what you’re NOT going to do to me, that you end up doing them

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leviticxsmcc​:

Uhm, no, you have to work a lot harder than that when you hurt my feelings, bitch.

You’re fast tracking to NO SEX for the foreseeable future, if you keep up this attitude, princess.

[huntermcc]

leviticxsmcc​:

✨ you don’t ✨

You could always change my mind. 

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leviticxsmcc​:

Am i and the 4 children i bore NOT ENOUGH?

how do I say no without hurting your feelings?

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leviticxsmcc​:

SAYS the bitch sucking dick for net worth???? H O N E Y

H O N E Y! I needed to get something out of this marriage

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leviticxsmcc​:

Honey, it was always cheap stripper vibes you gave off~ now it’s just ✨ enhanced ✨

honey, the only cheap thing about me is my husband. talk about a disappointing tip. 

[leviticxsmcc]

So my eldest, right??? My sassy, mature, independent, back chatting eldest child, she’s CERTAIN if I buy her this glitter temporary tattoo set — and I mean, this thing has the WORKS, 50 tubes of glitter, proper quality glue, stencils — that the glitter isn’t going to go EVERYWHERE, like she’ll be SO CAREFUL, she’ll keep it all on the specifically assigned table for it, is proper begging and reassuring me, right??? And i’m a SUCKER for these kids, so obviously i’ll cave eventually, and I buy this fucking glitter set thing. Now, ya’ll wanna tell me why there is glitter IN MY GYM???? Like, I don’t even think this child KNOWS there is a gym in this fucking house, so PLEASE, PLEASE, make it make sense.

[huntermcc]

I hate to be the one to say I told you so .. — no actually I don’t, but now daddy is walking round like a cheap stripper.

[archangelasher]

[huntermcc]

patrick-stclarington​:

leviticxsmcc​:

Honey, no one looks better than me.

I would say your kids but then I remembered that they are half Hunter too.

You missed biology lessons, or what?  because practically impossible for the little levi-demons to be half me. 

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leviticxsmcc​:

Uhm, haven’t you ever heard of the achilles heel??? Or taking out a mans kneecaps, then we’ll see who is 3 feet tall when you’re on them because I swiped behind the knee, or you’re filling your mouth with little Levi. I like food, and I like orgasms, so what??? I’ll just climb right on back out when i’m done.

Little being the operative word. Oh please you’re talking about me on my knees like It’s a BAD thing, but how we gonna act like your achilles heel isn’t me? You missed the point, dumbass, I give it 10 — 20 minutes, before you’re be begging me to fuck you, And I beg that you climb right on back out when you’re done, because AGAIN It would be a welcomed break, hardly a punishment If I still get what I want.

[huntermcc]

leviticxsmcc​:

Do you want to fight????? You’re on the fast track to sleeping in the guest room you potato.

Baby, you’re 3 foot tall, give it your best shot, I dare you. It would be a welcomed break, but I give it 20, maybe 30 minutes tops before you’re crawling into bed beside me, because you’re hungry or horny or in your case both. 

[leviticxsmcc]

I don’t know that letting Sage have a big post-Christmas sleepover would result in my starring in my own episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race getting stylised by a bunch of 5 year olds but you know what???? I’ve found my second calling.

[huntermcc]

Oh baby, you looked like a low class hooker. 

[huntermcc]

How does it feel to be the least attractive Clarington?

If you're going to tell lies, make them believable

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Who do you love more: Levi or Mr Puss?

I'm not sure what gave the impression that the two are comparable in any way, but without a doubt there is no comparison, Mr Puss — rip.

@leviticxsmcc

[torlykke]

My daughter just got a role in the school play. I’m a proud father for sure for that, and that she’s sticking with what she’s wanted to do since she was a little girl. All that to say, come see the school play. I heard it is Into The Woods this year.

[huntermcc]

Possibly the worst thing about being a father, having to tell your children they’re talented. when I’ve seen mice put on a better play. 

[huntermcc]

leviticxsmcc​:

FAKE NEWS, i’m not even scared. You loveeeeeee me.

You’re fucking delusional, seek medical attention immediately.