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I started like 3 new meds and my best friend isn’t getting back to me yay winter break and not being around anyone

Since Laura died, it has been so hard. Practicing is hard. Today I cried in my car. It was just a bad day. People here don’t know Laura. People here don’t know about my mental health. I just want to take all my medications because it feels like it would help me feel better

I know it wont. I just need positive thoughts now. I need to get back to DBT. I need to call my therapist

I need to figure out how many xanex I've taken since she died.

She died and I will never see her again. It hurts more than anyone can imagine

I take medications and that helps me stabilize my moods. That is ok and I am still working on it.

Today I remember that I am strong.

Yesterday I spent the day thinking of Shane- it was not helped by rehearsing the piece I played with him.

Today I shared that after I rehearsed that piece and I went to a practice room to score study, I cried over the beauty of the piece and how I wished I got to know Shane more before he passed.

I am strong. I have gone through hell, and I am still going through hell. We all have our things, and my demons require sleep, medication, therapy, and mindfulness. Your demons may be different.

When someone asks you whats up and you want to say, do you want me to lie or do you want the truth

when you feel like complete shit and kind of want to die and dont have the energy to redirect your thoughts

today was such a good day. I spent 10 hours with one of my littles

I wish people would understand that I am sick. There is no cure for bipolar disorder. I will always live with it. I will try to maintain my life with it. I will always be sick

I was observing a rehearsal and as I was leaving, my private lesson professor and I were passing each other and he told me the class I led was great. I don’t know why but it feels good to be assured that I’m doing something right by him.

How the fuck am I going to survive being a teacher with bipolar disorder. I cry like every other day. I have so many things that make me not believe I will be a good teacher.

How do you know if you are having a normal reaction, or feeling the normal range of emotions

I don’t know what to do. I asked him out on a date, specifiying it was a date and he said yes. We haven’t gotten around to finding a time, and I’m sure that it won’t be any different than any other time we hang out. Except it is classified as a date. Idk. It feels weird. I just want to keep getting to know him?

When you’re talking about a panic attack you had, and afterwards he still says yes to go on a date. I want to cry a bit.

when youre waiting for your best friend to call because he said he would and you feel like you are dying and cant do it anymore

when you are drunk half a drink in

#bipolarmeds #me

I crashed. I was euphoric yesterday. Today I’m muddy and foggy.

When you don’t know if you are revving to another episode or you really feel like making 3 friendship bracelets in a day.

#me

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