hello new followers!! my name is Chels (also found on @savagc) i will be adding a doc for hana’s blog to make accessing information more easy, as well as getting a list of verses up! bear with me, this blog is slightly under-construction in those ways only. i will still be replying in the meantime.
GUIDELINES AND ABOUT LINKS CAN BE FOUND HERE.
PAST LINKED HERE.
spotify: here .
pintrest: here .
aesthetic boards: 1 & 2 .
closet board: here .
pets: 1 & 2 & 3 .
family estate: here .
basics ;
Full Name: hana grace fischer-capone .
Age: 23 .
Date of Birth: april 28th 1995 .
Astrological Sign: taurus .
Religion: catholic .
Sexual Orientation: fluid .
Romantic Orientation: demiromantic . polyromantic .
Hometown: portland, maine .
Blood/ethnicity: german, tunisian .
Major: modern languages .
Minor: psychology .; history [ european and american ]
Fluent Languages: German, Italian, French, BSL, Swedish, English, Portuguese .
Secondary Languages: Polish, Norwegian, ASL, Czech, Russian .
MBTI: infj .
Temperament: phlegmatic .
Tarot Card: Justice.
Positive: Protective. Talented. Confident. Enigmatic. Calculating.
Negatives: Distant. Temperamental. Unabashed. Melancholic. Disingenuous.
current clubs/activities: riot club ruling member, debate club vp, equestrian league, teaching assistance, roller derby.
creds ;
Enrolled: Princeton University
Card: Justice
Position: 1 of 3 Ruling members
Status: Legacy (15 generations)
Parents: Wolfe Fischer & Nicola Capone (Member: The Nightingale - 119 Alumni)
Uncharged/Unproven Crimes: voluntary/forced suicide attempt, reckless endangerment, illegal street racing resulting in city property damage and manslaughter (1 count), accessory to the crimes within a university secret society, possession of cocaine and the planting of. homicide (1 count).
growing up ;
hana was born in berlin germany on april 28th, and was raised there solidly until the age of ten. summer vacations spent between a few family homes, residing in annecy, amalfi, bruges.
languages in the home included german, italian and french. she did not learn english until traveling abroad began at the age of ten.
she was an only child for the first three years of her life, and then her little brother otto was born. he died at the age of two by drowning in the small child’s pool in the yard. hana witnessed this event. she remembers this event and does not speak about it.
from that point on, as an only child, hana was spoiled in mostly gentle ways. she had everything she needed and wanted, was pampered by her mother and prized by her father. she hated both of those things and fought tirelessly for her own freedom to the point where, when she’s around her parents it’s hard to tell if she’s the parent or if they are. when hana is home she seemingly runs the house. the good thing in this being, that hana turned out kind and responsible, rarely abusing her pull over her family or her voice within it.
at the age of twelve wolfe and nicola moved with hana stateside and settled in portland, maine, where her father worked with every string he could pull that would earn him the right to the name of the family he had married into. despite nicola wishing for a quiet and peaceful family home, the property of maine home harbored tunnels and a boat house that allowed wolfe to make problems disappear, granting him a massive network of connections with justified fear in his presence. for hana, she was none the wiser. nicola keeps her cheek turned in the other direction and devoted her time doting on their only daughter. but with such work came intense isolation. though hana’s childhood property was as equipped to entertain her as a private summer camp, she was often left to her own devices while enjoying such artful and elite activities. this led her to pick up a habit of fleeing. and she got away with it every time.
hana reveled the summers spent flying back germany, home to the culture she missed. she would spend her time on the waters of annecy or listlessly trailing her fingertips through cherry wine poolside in italy, but eventually, as all things with hana, the glass would be tipped to shatter and she would once again flee for the sake of herself; delving into the cultures she found herself immersed in frequently.
university bound ;
hana attended Gisela Gymnasium as a child in Munich before moving to the US solidly. she was privately tutored at home through her travels.
for the duration of her high school education, hana attended Choate Rosemary Hall.
she was invited to oxford and princeton. hana adamantly refused invitation to anything her father pushed for, ie yale. her mother pushed her towards juilliard but that too was shunned by hana. oxford invitation would have sent her out of the states and away from her family. pursuing her love for modern languages, hana chose to accept a year at oxford, in order to advance her studies in english. one year, and princeton-bound.
‘freshman year began again for hana when she then transferred to state-side to princeton. completing her freshman year, starting her sophomore year as a ruling member, and beginning her junior year holding onto her ruling member status through members votes.
secrets ;
BRIEF RECANTING OF EVENTS - MAY 25 2017 2:00am
before hana was a ruling member of the elitist society, before she was even a member referred to as ‘caged’, hana began freshman year as a potential candidate. challenges were given to her through her freshman year, from russian roulette to participating in the brutal beating of another candidate who had volunteered to take it, as a means to prove themselves as well. she pushed through the process alongside the others, tackled challenges thrown at her, most less violent such as vandalism or petty dare challenges. by the near end of her freshman year she stood with only 15 others remain, no deaths within the process in over fifty years, and her chances of making it through were looking amazing. the cage needed nine new members for the next school year. as a final challenge she was challenged to challenging herself, asked to pick her own last challenge as a way of impressing the cage members. no one told her what she could or couldn’t do. she could have chosen anything,
hana chose to showcase one of her personal talents. driving, street mayhem to more exact. she’d started driving young on her family’s estates and abroad, from the autobahn to trips out to the atlantic ocean road in norway. she would turn up to local illegal street races and move through ranks, it was a hobby and she loved nothing more than blasting something ridiculous like the jurassic park theme song or titanic with all the feels while she was slamming her boot to the pedal. this felt like a good talent to showcase. she declared her choice, the stakes, starting at 2am she was to push the limits of the roads within the city, push speed, break road rules, without getting pulled over. one other candidate was to accompany her as a witness recording it, otherwise her efforts would be for nothing, and her worth would be nothing to the cage.
for one hour hana shredded asphalt, burned rubber, left her mark on pavement all over the city, ran lights, pushed her speed, she burned through gas in record time completely sober of all substances, but during this game something in hana edged a feeling of restlessness. for so much excitement it was an odd feeling to find herself bored doing what she enjoyed doing. go big, or go home. hana failed to care much about what go home might mean to her. verbally she and the person in the car were overdosing on adrenaline, but hana just a little more so. the other candidate was winding down and ready to call it a night, but hana suggested something a little bigger, a little more show. the idea was accepted by the other candidate with hesitations. ‘i don’t know, hana.’ was about all hana heard and hana took a drastic turn down a stretch of pavement that led to an old new england bridge over a river. her car picked up speed, her eyes grew darker, and for a moment go big or go home to hana meant, make the cut, or die trying. in this unofficial suicide pact, mostly with herself, hana closed in on the bridge, cut the wheel to the left and crashed through stone. in that moment of feeling nothing but air beneath the car, she could already smell the blood, her eyes finding the lifeless eyes of the other candidate having hit the dash and windshield. while her seat belt head her back, they weren’t wearing theirs. for a moment she felt a pity for herself that she had hers on, for a moment she wished for the same closure the other had been met with.
on impact her head hit the passenger side window and when she woke moments later only to water pouring in, those thoughts were gone and she struggled to get herself free of her seat belt. her window wouldn’t budge but the other’s had been down and she climbed over to get out. the last thing she remembered was her hand closing around the other’s arm in an attempt to pull them out with her. hana woke in the hospital only a few hours later with a memory of siren sounds and flashing lights, lights shined into her eyes directly. it was only a concussion and a fracture to her left arm, but also the word that she was the one who’d survived. investigations were launched into the cause of the accident but by that time she’d already been visited by caged members. it was documented that her car had been tampered with. hana knew that it had not been but she accepted the power the cage had. in return for her silence and for pride in the challenge she’d passed in their eyes, hana was deemed ‘caged’ from that day forward while the other was deemed dead. the first death in the process in fifty years gained hana a sort of respect within the cage and she has never allowed herself to feel anything about the ordeal since that night. if asked: “it happened.” in her eyes, she did what she had to do, to obtain what she was after. her car, a gray audi tt, was replaced by the society and that was that.
she went on to be the first female ruling member within the society. The Swallow; someone to be trusted for her nurturing and tender personality and actions towards the others, someone to be respected for her encouraging and sound thoughts and opinions, someone to be revered in the ranks for the way she would stop at nothing to do what was in the best interest of the society moving forward.
anything else:
in return for dark confession, hana gifted each uncaged with a token of sorts, either a locket, a pocket watch, a bracelet, a key ring, highly valued metal and unique to each uncaged candidate. in this item a tracking chip and cocaine was stashed without the knowledge of the uncaged. only hana knew about the drugs she was planting on them. they were told to wear their items at all times as a symbol of their trust in her. if they did so, they were bypassed and protected when she instigated drug raids through the school throughout the school year, if they failed to keep their item on their persons, their possession was exposed and hana cast them out of her mind as unworthy of her time and attention, unworthy of her protection. she left them to the wrath of the university and law enforcement. this being said, only 2 out of 30 failed her. roughly 12k was spent on ipods alone that were gifted to each simply for one playlist in particular. 3k on cocaine. and 6k on custom pieces for stashing.
connection ideas;;
dealing: the most basic is going to be this. hana is not a big user IF ever, it would be rare that she uses, however, naturally that is because she likes cleanly passing product to those who know she carries and receives shipments. she will always have (purity) strawberry cocaine, ecstasy, ritalin, adderall to pass off quickly and quietly. she will not look at you fondly if you ask her for heroine or meth or cannabis. chances are if your muse has ever been a riot society member or affiliated with her through clubs/societies/family, they don’t need to do anything but hold out their hand out and she’ll get your muse what they need. think of her as the shady and dependable sister in this department i guess?? (just let me know what hana would know, in the way of what your muse is looking for. just because hana might know, i still gotta know too!)
spoiled, rich, elitist…but cultured?: hana was raised very cultured so if your bb frequented places such as germany, italy, france, belgium, on holidays, long summer months spent on yachts or in vineyards, museums and the like, you may know her that way. so connections with long-time friends thick with spoiled elitist trash summers…is basically her aesthetic. if your bb speaks other languages that are in-common, it’s likely she will only speak those languages with your muse, over listening to english all day long. she’s majoring in modern languages and a native german herself and has spent more time in western europe than in the states.
from around: hana is one of those people in the lives of those she knows, who is just always around, not in a hovering sense ever, she is far to reclusive in her own rights for that, but…that girl you met when your parents shipped you off, that girl you met again years later and remembered, in a sense of consistency, there and then gone, but always sort of …there.
family friends: her dad is a shady lil shit tbh with working organized crime in hana’s mother’s name, under the false image of car imports with audi. underneath his work includes the smuggling of hybrid contraband. her mother is an angel that’s just too sweet for someone a little salty like hana to stomach for long, so maybe family parties were held and they met that way, maybe you both hated the family gatherings and had no one else to talk to but each other, and hated that more, or maybe it became almost a sibling relationship as she’s an only child. more than likely her mother sinks into the family’s catholic church to pray for both of your sorry asses. (crimes likely for this connection: basic street crimes, possession, interrogation if it comes down to a problematic person needing to be dealt with, basic mayhem on a whim.)
on a whim: hana is an avid street racer. texts are sent last minute to late night meets at starting lines, to keep law enforcement from showing up too quickly to break them up. for this connection she likely calls/texts to invite you on tag-alongs.
protection/business: it’s no secret, or won’t be anyways, that hana is protective and loyal, seemingly. maybe this connection she’s keeping an eye on your bb and either sees potential in them that she wants to see flourish. it is likely that she will be someone to stand up for you, and know where to hide a body. pretty basic i know. i’m trash.
know your worth: all in all she’s not impressed with you. hana is confident and she knows her value and worth, she knows what she wants and where she’s going, this can be a negative connection where she just does not see you belonging anywhere near her, but that doesn’t mean that can not of course develop along the way, into a connection where she’s more likely to push you to the brink a lot harder than maybe the others, either she’s amused by your failures because you’re proving her point, or she really does want to see better in you than she does. having been in a riot club society hana is both easily intrigued by potential and not easily impressed.
support your local gang: friends she turns to and friends there for her. she will kill for sisterhoods/brotherhoods.
blackmailed: she has something on you / you might have something on her. you may have just gotten in her way but over all she likely wants you gone.
under-skin: you like getting under her skin, or trying to, she’s likely to end up more endeared by you than anything else, but you know there’s a risk of catching her on a bad day. still you take the risk.
she stood in the driveway somewhat dumbfounded; arms folded warmly over her chest and boots...planted in crunchy powered snow. this had to be what 'gaping' looked like. her face had to be on-point to the feeling. "you're losing your mind; you're not going into town enough to mingle with the other wives." she says to nicola; her mother, as she stared at the woman standing at the mouth of the barn with her arms extended in a ta-da motion. and dead center to the open doorway...were two of her horses tethered to a carriage that was donated and used for holiday parades through the year.
"no." she shook her head, cutting off nicola's 'fun' right then and there. hana dropped her arms to her sides as her mother's smile fell to the ground. 'hana....oh come on it's a great idea." she called after her as hana turned on her heels and headed to a row of three vehicles parked at the backside of the driveway. she settled for climbing into nicola's range rover, keys under the visor she simply pressed the start and pulled out down the driveway...ignoring nicola wave her arm at her in a playful 'fine, get out of here' motion. she wasn't picking up kayla from the airport with a horse drawn sleigh. what took her about thirty minutes driving would have taken a lot longer and...likely clashed with dozens of street laws. @stagebystage
she liked cold spaces when it came time to sleep. waking hours she wasn't as fussed so long as she wasn't sweating, or feeling unable to function due to her body being seized up with shivers. but during sleep...she needed the cold and the mound of blankets and pillows. she was starting to feel some of the effects of her flight so their plan to stay in tonight and just order room service or visit the lounge downstairs...was feeling like a blessing. cold air filled the space and hana made a quick task of pulling the curtains so it was darker, save for a small table lamp, and she found spare blankets and pillows in the closet beside the door. "we should make a fort later." she mutters with a small smile. completely childish but with the setup of the couch and lounge chairs centered in front of the tv...made it feel ideal for such a thing.
“I think cleaning other people’s stuff is way more fun, you’re being helpful and not technically obligated to help so when you’re sick of it you can just leave and not have to deal with it anymore.” she shrugged with a single shoulder, she’d never cleaned anyone’s room that wasn’t family, her brothers often bribing her with promises of snacks or take out and the occasional ride somewhere before she got her license. “I mean I don’t really have anything planned for today so I’m here as long as you’d like to be.” she smiled warmly, not at all opposed to the idea of spending the day virtually with Hana, it would help her stay motivated and on task and she’d honestly take anytime Hana was willing to give her, they both had pretty packed schedules and while they still managed to spend evenings occasionally chatting, facetiming, small texts throughout their day longer video calls, especially this time of day, weren’t as common. Eyes taking a glance at Hana’s kitchen Kayla realized her mistake in not having eaten something before beginning this endeavor, if she finished half of the mess within an hour she’d order herself something as a treat.
.
being helpful to someone else was a good reason; “i can be a little curious, too.” she admits, “i’d say ‘nosey’ but that isn’t the right word.” she scrunched up her nose because she generally hated priers. but she was a curious person at times and liked gaining knowledge and understanding, and there was a lot of that in a person’s living quarters, even if it was just something seemingly mundane like the way they folded their bath towels. maybe even the knowledge gained was mundane and completely irrelevant to anything and everything, but hana thought that was why the word ‘curious’ was the correct one over ‘nosey’. she had perched on the arm of a couch or on a kitchen counter to keep company while a friend cleaned before. “i feel like i get more done, productivity-wise, when i’m talking to someone on the phone.” so she was happy to be here at least offering company. maybe it would make kayla’s tasks feel smoother and less daunting. “i was just going to get ahead on on some reading later.” later being the operative word; it wasn’t important. she didn’t tend to let things become more important than responding to friends like kayla; it didn’t take long to text back of pause what she was doing for a call. now that she had her earbuds in, she was pulled away even more from the surroundings of her little place, and emerged into where kayla was. sounds around her were cut off, every distraction gone, and she watched as kayla got started. “so is this a deep clean through every crevice or just...basic organizing for time being?”
Kayla’s eyes made quick work of surveying the hotel room, noting the charm she knew she’d find anywhere Hana would really want to stay at based on conversations they’d had in the past about their aesthetic preferences. Giving Hana privacy she hadn’t asked for Kayla backtracked to the door Hana had simply let close, knowing these doors looked on their own but also never truly trusting staff at hotels, she locked the deadbolt and latched the swing bar, again she knew these only did so much in terms of security but it helped ease the paranoia that always seemed to sit at the base of her neck just a bit. Turning back and avoiding looking at Hana, instead trying figure out what the best sleeping configuration would be, walking past the small hall leading out of the door way she sat on the edge of the small sofa the room provided, setting her small backpack down on the floor. The leather dark and plush, the build deep, it was a little on the shorter end and she probably wouldn’t be able to sleep on it long ways comfortably but she could just lean back at an angle.
.
she had just barely caught the sound of kayla adding the locks to the door, but she was focused more on getting into her suitcase for something more comfortable. it wasn’t a production; she didn’t bother laying her case down and unzipping it fully, instead she knew where she’d placed things enough to open it just to grab out a softer pair of cashmere shorts. sitting on the edge of the bed she unfastened her thin leather belt, her tweed shorts and worked them down along with the patterned nylon covering her legs, and then she worked on the new pair of shorts and stuffed what she’d been wearing back into her bag. that was it. she was comfortable enough in her fitted tee but she did pull of the long thin rosary from underneath and slipped it over her head to leave on the nightstand for now. then she walked towards the ac unit embedded below the window but was only halfway there before she realized that...wasn’t where the ac unit was. “damn...” she only breathed the word and then turned her head to run her eyes over the papered walls in search of a thermostat, which she spotted closer to the door by the bathroom. her eyes touched on where kayla had placed herself and she passed her. “colder is okay with you?” she asks, reaching to tap the temperature button lower.
“Not exactly but I guess that could be what I call this,” she mulled it over, feeling it would take too much effort to explain the actual situation not that it was really too far off from being spring cleaning. Slowly becoming more and more self conscious, “Brace yourself,” she gave a soft laugh, setting her phone down on her desk chair, carefully propped up to give the best view of her mess she could, picking a corner still in frame to plop down into so she could sort through things she actually needed to put away, things she declared trash, and things she could donate or hold for one of her siblings. Pulling her hair out of her face and tying it up high on her head, she huffed as she fell heavily onto her bottom, mentally bracing for the task at hand. She was usually pretty good about getting things like this done, if anything she struggled to take breaks, ansty until the task was complete. “Feel like hanging out with me for a bit?” she asked, feeling as though she should know the answer but also knowing she had specifically offered a look at her mess, which she supposed could have been fulfilled by a simple snapshot but she’d wanted to hear Hana’s voice and obviously Hana knew she could’ve just asked for a picture instead of facetiming her but she was still going to offer the other woman an out.
.
she sometimes found herself wishing that she was more adept to a cluttered lifestyle, even a touch of eclectic collecting would be a step in a good direction, because it felt like such a vibe to spend an afternoon or a late night to reorganizing and purging. she sighed and rested her chin on her folded arms, her phone propped on the couch in front of where she was laying on her stomach. hana’s eyes dragged slowly over her space, and yes she had some busy shelves and a few wicker type baskets that she could go through but it would only take her a few minutes at best and what was the point? closets....she did have a few closets she could get after. but alas, comfort of the couch held her right where she was. for now. her eyes were settled right back on her phone screen as kayla showed her what she was working on. she could see the piles of things behind her and smiled softly. “i think i’d have fun with that. is it a universal thing that has it easier to clean other people’s houses than your own?” she asks, before she nodded. “all day if you want, or...morning?” it was morning where kayla was, almost noon where she was, and she had no plans. “you might even motivate me to get something done.” but for now co-existing felt nice. she pushed herself up with her phone and stood to walk into the kitchen, placing her phone propped on the counter and going to her bag to dig around for her airpods. they would be necessary if they were both moving around.
Kayla had never actually had a friend close enough to share clothes with, she wasn’t usually in situations in which it would need to happen either. “I don’t mind if you don’t.” her head tilted in a shake, they seemed to be around the same size in clothes and Hana was basically offering right? She could probably sleep in her jeans with a little bit of effort anyway. Eyes exploring the hotel Hana had chosen to stay in, Kayla found the space suited her. It was just a touch dated, but was filled with charm and was very obviously historic. She’d driven past the hotel a handful of times and had never really found the outside to seem particularly attractive, tudor revival architecture falling very low on her list, not that it really mattered at the end of the day.
Hands tucked behind herself, Kayla leaned back against the elevator wall eyes on her slightly blurred reflection in the gold tinted stainless steel doors, the rest of the inside seemed to be some kind of forest green marbled stone. “I’m not really hungry but I’ll probably end up being game to eat if you are.” she chuckled, at the end of the day Kayla could almost always eat. She followed Hana through the hall silently, absentmindedly noting the different exits and entrances, there didn’t seem to be any vending machines aside from a few ice machines which she supposed made sense given it would probably ruin the vibe of the place.
with hana’s hotel being on the southern side of arcata...she was sure the plan had been to drive by kayla’s place in the morning on their way out of town just to pick up clothes and personal things that she needed. that meant she didn’t have anything for tonight, so hana made the offer. she knew she had plenty of fitted tees and a few pairs of cashmere shorts that kayla could choose from. “i’m not hungry yet but i probably will be later.” right now she was only feeling how long the day had been so far, the early flight out of princeton that morning felt like days ago now. it was catching up with her, and as they exited the elevator and she followed the corridor to her room...the thought of curling up for a nap filled her mind. at the same time she wanted to sit with kayla and talk, catch up with her a little. “worst case i have a few snacks in my bag that i picked up at the airport.” she says, sliding her key card over the door lock to get the green light for opening it up.
she held it with her hip for kayla, having left a lamp on at the bedside table there was enough light to see. she had closed the curtains before leaving and turned on the ac so the room was chilly but it felt good to her. her suitcase rested on a chair beside the bed, and other than a bottle of water sitting on the coffee table she hadn’t really touched the space much. hana had only come to check in and drop her bag before meeting up with kayla. once they were inside she removed her hip from the door and let it close and lock automatically, and then she pulled her sunglasses off of her head and placed them on the table along with the room key. “there’s drinks and snacks in there too i think.” she says, gesturing to the mini fridge bar while she pulled free the buckle of the delicate leather belt on her hips. changing into something more comfortable was a priority, she didn’t really think twice about kayla being there, she never really thought twice about those sorts of things, she just moved closer to her suitcase and slipped out of her black suede penny loafers and nudged them aside with her foot.
“I think bed sounds totally reasonable for you right now.” she shook her head, Kayla had even failed to consider the jetlag Hana must be experiencing in addition to her long day. “We can put on a movie and get you comfy, order something if we’re hungry. We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow.” she assured, not worrying about any of it at all at this point. They had the necessities, all that was really left was to grab her gear from her apartment the next morning before they set out, no big deal. She hadn’t even been expecting to spend this much time with Hana on her first day there, imagining they would just have a drink and go their separate ways for the night and make plans to see each other the next day.
.
“whatever do you mean?” not truly a question; hana smiled and pulled out of the lot, following the directions just to park in the hotel lot five minutes later. she took a moment to make sure she had what she needed from the car, her room card in her bag, her keys, she pushed her sunglasses up to rest on her curls and then she got out and slung her bag strap on her shoulder and locked the car behind them both. “i mean it’s...three hours later at home so it’s still not technically a reasonable bedtime yet.” she says, but knowing full well that if she got into the room and got comfortable in any measure she wouldn’t be moving for a few hours. so all she really had to do was avoid getting comfortable. so long as she didn’t shower or dress down in any way, so long as she didn’t sit on any piece of furniture, so long as....
she couldn’t kid herself like like that; it didn’t take any of those things to get her comfortable. hana had fallen asleep before in the society manor’s dumbwaiter; she’d fallen asleep in class, curled up on a library windowsill in broad daylight with the sweltering heat of summer soaking through the window panes. she led the way into the hotel lobby, past the desk and to the elevator to press the buttons for the floor they needed. “it looks like a nice restaurant so hopefully there’s some options.” she didn’t mind the ordering in, but she didn’t mind coming back down here to get something together later either. “wait shit, you don’t have clothes or anything.” she stops short. “i don’t know how you feel about wearing anything of mine, but you’re free to.”
Grinning, Kayla snorted, her mind trying to find the best way to tease Hana about she could probably afford to be airdropped to her door if that was what she wanted when her phone display shifted to a facetime request, eyes widening she scrambled up to her night stand and grabbed her bluetooth earbuds, popping them in and answering the call. “Hey.” she smiled, amused. “You really wanna see it?” she arched a brow in question, part of her not wanting to show Hana how bad it had gotten the other knowing it was her own fault for messaging her about it.
.
she smiled when she heard the soft swoosh sound of the call being accepted. then kayla was on her screen. “let me see it.” she really doubted it could be so bad that hana would tell kayla she was disgusting. that would take a lot. she dealt with her own clutter and neglect all the time. “is it spring cleaning already?” it was march so...that wouldn’t be a reach. she could hear kayla just fine, so she didn’t rush to dig her airpods out of her bag. they’d been laying at the bottom forgotten for a few days now; they might be completely dead. she would dig out her corded headphones eventually but she’d made the mistake of getting comfortable on the couch for now.
Smiling fondly to herself, Kayla could image just how tired Hana was, she’d had a long flight and had had to meet up with Kayla and go through all this shopping, “Let’s get you to bed.” she chuckled softly, “I was thinking we should go in the morning. It doesn’t have to be particularly early either, we can stop for breakfast if you want.” she suggested, “It probably won’t make much of a difference when we get there, I figure we’d spend the first day getting settled and heading there now probably wouldn’t be the safest trip, not that it would be unsafe.” she trailed off into a mumble, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.
“bed sounds...better than i wish it did.” she didn’t want to crash immediately on kayla when she’d just gotten into town to visit her. hana closed up the trunk and moved to slide into the passenger seat, pressing the start button and letting the gps on the dash coordinate with the location of her hotel so they could get back there easily. her brown eyes touched on the time on the corner of the screen and she knew kayla was right about it not being wise to make the drive tonight. it was already well into the afternoon and she imagined it would be dark by the time they got there. her energy level right now would have her falling asleep within the next few minutes if she was left sitting in the passenger seat being lulled by the motion. if she wasn’t lulled she might very well make it to a more reason bedtime hour. traffic didn’t look to bad, they’d be at the hotel in ten minutes at the worst, there was a menu on the desk and a lounge in the lobby so staying in for the night before setting off in the morning sounded like the best plan to her too. “we can just order food to the room for tonight, or there’s a restaurant and lounge downstairs.”
Sitting on the floor and opening her trash bag, Kayla felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Reading over the message she couldn’t help the small laugh and eye roll, quickly tapping out a reply on her touch, “Let me know when you land, I’ll pick you up.” she grinned, amused as ever at their running joke. She honestly never really let herself believe she was ever going to see Hana again in person, she’d accepted their long distance friendship early on, and while there were always little things said and jokes she never really believed either of them would act on any of it.
“what are landings like at airports that small? am i going to have to flintstone down the airstrip?” she sunk herself down to lay on the burnt gold of her velvet couch and got comfortable on her stomach with her phone in front of her, and then she tapped kayla’s picture on her phone and pressed the facetime call...figuring that since kayla wanted her to see how bad the mess was, she might as well see it in the only way she could right now.
Looking down at the mess on her floor Kayla sighed heavily, the rain pattering down against her windows loudly, she’d had a difficult month and had only really been home to grab somethings and drop off others and the mess had only grown and accumulated. Sliding her phone from her pocket she shot out a quick text, “I’m cleaning my room, wanna come over and tell me how gross I am?” she grimaced, tucking the device back into her pocket and leaving her room to grab a trash bag.
.
it was the first time that she was able to look around her place and know for certain that everything her ex had left behind, was now packed up and moving through the carrier system. there was the habitual inkling to mentally unpack all the reasons why that was a good thing, but it felt less draining to just know it was good and save the unpacking for never. hana was always able to move forward and past very quickly and that wasn’t about to change for anyone. after some light cleaning she went to retrieve her phone from the couch cushion and checked her notifications, swiping away emails and app alerts for the more wanted message from kayla that brought an immediate feeling of contentment to the pit of her stomach. “right, i’ll be over in ten hours. make sure you wait on me to get there.” she texts back, letting the message go through before she planned on pressing the facetime call button.
Helping Hana pick some last minute items she felt they would need, Kayla was satisfied with their purchases, already plotting how she’d sneak some cash into Hana’s pocket at some point after the other woman had insisted they put the purchase on her card, an argument she’d lost solely because she didn’t want to cause the cashier any anxiety, though her employee discount definitely made her feel a bit better about the situation. It wasn’t like they had been there too long but shopping had the tendency to wear Kayla down, her mind always running over the what ifs and trying to balance what could possibly be too much versus what was necessary. The cool breeze immediately fanning her hair back as the doors slid open on the way out, the tops of her warm cheeks sting just a bit from the sudden cold, surprising her, the forecast hadn’t said anything about the chill. Glancing down at her watch she surprised they’d managed to spend a few hours in the store, “God I’m fucking tired.” she admitted, not wanting to shut down anything Hana could possibly want to do but also fairly confident that she knew Kayla well enough to be able to tell she was fading. “You ready to head to your room?”
.
she waned quickly when in situations that weren’t absolutely required of her...and even then she’d been known to decide that her own attendance was dependent on the day or her mood. she had stepped out on classes and opted for managing from her laptop at home for a week when the atmosphere of a classroom didn’t appeal to her and then she would fade out of that too and be back in class. this was different, not mandatory, not required or demanded of her....so she enjoyed it more knowing that she had more ability to relax and tire when she did, rather than when she had to. “i’m getting there.” she admits, giving kayla a small smile now that they were able to grab the bags filled with their purchases and break outside. her tone conveyed it was ‘i’m there. i’m tired’ rather than something she was still approaching. “yes.” she let out a silent huff to make room in her lungs for an intake of cooler air; keys retrieved from her pocket and the trunk of the rental car opened. “do you have a preference for leaving town, like what time, tonight or in the morning?” she didn’t mind either way, but being slightly overstimulated was crashing into her passiveness about it and making her hope the answer was ‘later enough’ to allow for some downtime first. her eyes were already settling on the driver’s seat anticipating the comfort of the cream leather seats.
“I don’t think it hurts to have one.” Kayla raised a single shoulder, lips quirking into an asymmetrical smile. “Something with a fixed blade would probably be best.” she advised, hovering over the case, her fingers coming down to point down at a row of blades, “So like these.” in the back of her mind she wondered why exactly Hana a proficiency with butterfly knives but it wasn’t really her business or at least this wasn’t really the place for that kind of conversation they had time to talk about it later, but at least she figured that that meant Hana would know the basics of handling the blade safely. “We don’t need anything fancy.” she hummed eyes ignoring the blades priced at over two hundred dollars, instead a Gerber StrongArm knife with just an inch or so of serration caught her eye. “I think that one should work just fine.” that was an understatement in her opinion.
.
with her attention turning over to knives, came the inevitable curiosities towards what kinds of things they would find themselves needing knives for. they were set to be spending upwards of a few days in a cabin in the woods, though she wasn’t sure the term ‘cabin’ had been used enough for her to feel confident that it could be considered that. still...hana made the decision to not think on structural integrity must past that. it was hard to be bothered by the idea of sleeping outside on a mound of dirt when she was just thrilled to be visiting kayla. that alone had been a pipedream for a short while since hana had gone back to princeton after their initial meeting. fruition felt great right now. hana nodded, accepting that the knife kayla was looking at was more than enough; she ran her eyes as quickly over what they had in their cart already. “anything else you can think of?” she imagined after another stop at a grocery store on the way, one closer to destination, they’d be set enough. hana still did another few glances around and added some smaller items to the cart, a pack of batteries, a small lantern that would need them, box of matches and a small first aid kit that hung on an endcap with dozens of other ‘don’t forget this’ type of items. it was really hard to focus on what all they might need...when her insides were turning over with the contentment she felt just being here and getting to see kayla again.
Her hand slipping into the cart to thumb the material of the shirt Hana seemed to have picked for her, Kayla noted the softness of the fabric, probably some cotton polyester blend, easy enough to tear in the case of an emergency but also comfortable. The color wasn’t exactly something she would pick for herself but she’d given Hana control of this all for a reason, “Exactly like windbreakers.” she nodded, she had far more than she could ever possibly need at home but that didn’t mean she wasn’t gonna let Hana pick one more out for her. Once again she went over the mental list in her mind, realizing she hadn’t taken something into consideration. “Do you want a knife?” she spoke up suddenly, her minds eye already mapping out the course they’d need to take to take them from women’s apparel to the monitored glass case in the hunting and fishing department, she figured Hana knew that basics of owning a knife and even if she didn’t the rules weren’t complex, it could come in handy to have a second one lying around God forbid something were to have happened to Kayla’s, she’d had it since she was in her early teens, a gift from her father that she’d worked hard to maintain. The mental image of Hana cutting cord or whittling down kindle, pulling an amused smile onto her lips.
.
she thought back over her closet and tried to place a single item that would be considered a wind-blocking variety...and she couldn’t. her mind gave a small shrug in acceptance of the idea; it was a response that she never gave physically. shrugging was taught to her to be a lazy gesture as a child, not directly. her mother shrugged all the time in her light-hearted and care-free way...it was that hana had never felt light-hearted or care-free...so she decided for herself that sort of response wasn’t very suited to her. it did however usually turn up visibly in her eyes and the slight canting of her head and that was something her mother had always pointedly noted in her; ‘act your age, you’re not middle-aged yet’. she would jest with her flowy disposition and well...hana preferred her own postures enough to ignore the commentary. a brow quirked upwards and so did the edge of her lips; the mention of getting a knife. “think i’ll need one?” she asks softly, her smile gone but interest in her eyes taking over and holding the warmth she felt there at the idea kayla suggested. “what kind?” she was curious to get more of kayla’s thoughts on the matter. “i know my around kitchen knives and butterflies.” she admits, “not much past that.”
Kayla’s eyes had found there way back to Hana’s face, a soft smile pulling at her lips as she listened to Hana speak about colors. Kayla had the colors she usually grabbed when shopping for her own clothing, muted reds and dark greens, the occasional rusted orange, black and acid washed denim, colors that felt easy to pair together without much thought, that she could just throw on when she was rushing out the door. She didn’t see them the way that Hana seemed to though the more she listened along she began to see the picture that she was painting, could see what she meant, eyes falling to the hand that reached for a hoodie that hung near her. One could assume that because Kayla drew that she was more inclined to things like color, but her eyes were more drawn to the lines of things, the way things flowed into each other. she’d leaned how to truly see the gradients of light and dark but had never put effort into color.
“Fitted.” eyes snapped back to Hana’s, pulled from the colors Hana had painted in her mind, fitted clothes was easier to layer in the event that things got too cold, though she did own quite a few oversized hoodies for when she was home and wanted to get lost in the fabric. “I’m happy you’re here too.” she had been a mix of anxious and excited since Hana had told her intention of visiting, it’d been months since they had seen each other in person and even when they had met that first time Kayla hadn’t been truly looking at Hana, hadn’t seen any importance in memorizing her features and really taking her presence in, hadn’t known her importance to her yet. “We should get something to layer over these.” something water resistant, there shouldn’t be any rain this time of year but one was never sure, and she’d rather be safe than sorry, especially if she was taking someone out with her, she could deal with her own mistakes but someone dealing with the consequences of her shortcomings was something she wouldn’t tolerate, especially if that someone was Hana.
.
looking at the aisles of camping and outdoor supplies prodded at the afterthought in the back of her mind that maybe she had signed up for a weekend more daunting than just pillows and throw blankets....but she decided again and again to ignore the prodding because spending time with kayla felt worth it. it was her first time in town seeing her in person so backing out just because something could be extreme...seemed lame and anti-climactic.
fitted made sense for a ew reasons her mind quickly placed; to keep in body heat, to prevent risk from fabric being caught or snagged in rugged conditions, to be more form flattering...though the latter she assumed hardly mattered. all were noted as valid reasons, plus...the color selection seemed more vast through the women’s clothing than the men’s. hana had no qualms with oversized sweaters and preferred them actually...but the repetition of navy, black and gray was dull. she turned her attention to the hues of deep burnt canyons, coral and cyan skies, fields of sunflower petal golds to the deep greens of their stalks. her eyes shifted from the colors back to kayla and widened slightly despite trying to control that. her unreachable façade was something she’d mastered at this stage in life and bullshit but...it seemed some things still broke through. “are we swimming in them?” her tone held jest, she obviously wasn’t overlooking the weather and the fact that it could rain but would they not be within reach of the cabin before they became soaked through? she supposed hikes could take some time...
hana digressed. “like wind-breakers or something?” given the time of year she couldn’t see needing something much heavier than that but then...she didn’t know the area or seasons here the way that kayla did. “i’m going to trust you on all of that.” she decides with ease. putting trust in kayla felt right, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t helping out. she started thumbing through a few of the sweaters and found two in a matching burnt canyon, and then she picked a deep blue-green long-sleeve thermal with a northface emblem on the chest pocket and a similar in a plum shade. “i wanna see this color on you.” she says, referring to the blue-green she placed in the cart.
