burning man 2023 explained
burning man is a festival for rich white people who want to smoke weed and trip acid in the nevada desert and pretend they're one with the earth. it's not a music festival or anything that serves any purpose, it's just vibes
a hundred year flash flood just hit nevada, including where burning man is being held this very weekend
dry desert ground can't suddenly absorb water, let alone that much water all at once, so now burning man is a giant mud pit with THICK deep mud
nobody can get in or out, so they closed all the roads
FEMA just told the *73,000 PEOPLE* stranded at burning man to shelter in place, ration food and water, and essentially "you're on your own, good luck"
the port-o-potties are overflowing into the mud they're all walking around in
the official CDC twitter account tweeted (and then deleted) that there's a confirmed ebola outbreak at burning man, but people are pretty sure it's just trench illnesses. like actual WWI trench illnesses
earlier this week, climate activists protested against burning man, and all the attendees drove right past them (and yelled at them, and tried to get them arrested, etc)
there's a private jet at burning man where people can join the mile high club. it just takes off and lands all day and lets people fuck in it. no word yet on the fuck plane's current status/location
and lastly: when the ground here gets wet, the sea monkeys hatch
