Yes, Daehyun did comment about Himchan’s weight. Yes, Daehyun did comment about Jongup’s intelligence. Yes. This happened. There is no denying that. Should he have done that? No. But it’s how he coped with being voted the dumbest member of B.A.P. His comments weren’t prompted, no; but having a vote about who’s the dumbest and being voted the dumbest by the fans and the members of B.A.P and then getting called a dummy by Youngjae (did everyone forget this happened?) is going to hurt, too. And he coped with that with his comments. Were they rude? Yes. Were they prompted? No. Should he have said them? No.
I know they can hurt the fans when idols comment about weight. I know it can hurt. But you have to consider, idols practice for hours a day and a lot of them skip meals. Daehyun has had to deal with the weight comments before. He knows how much they hurt. And he tends to cope with self-hate through jokes. That’s why he always jokes that he’s ugly. He thinks that he is ugly, so he tries to make it funny. Over the hiatus, he dealt with the weight comments a lot, joking that he was just going to gain more weight. But he was hurt by them. And he coped by joking about it. That’s what he does. It’s how he copes. That’s why he made the comments about Himchan’s weight and Jongup’s intelligence. I know the comments can hurt. But he’s trying to get people to laugh, because he’s trying to cope with self-hate.
Another thing: BABYz have been joking about his weight for a long, long time. Remember? He’s the boy who loves cheesecake? Doesn’t stop eating? Eats everything, everything? That was what I first heard about Daehyun when I got into B.A.P. BABYz joking about his weight and how much he eats. So now that he comments about someone else’s weight, everyone’s up in arms and suddenly he’s the enemy, when he has been there before. And how does he cope? With jokes.
I didn’t see a single comment about how Jongup teased Himchan about his weight during charades. I saw comments about it on The Geeks. The similarity: both of these aren’t Daehyun. Obvious observation, I know. But Daehyun is always, always the scapegoat. He is the one to blame. He is a devil of a person in a group of angels. He is the bully. It is him. Jung Daehyun is a bully to the rest of B.A.P. Right? That’s how it works. That’s how it always works. People get so mad when it’s Daehyun that’s teasing. BABYz are so quick to turn their backs on him.
Which is funny, you know. Because nobody loves BABYz more than Daehyun does. Remember the street concerts he performed during the hiatus? Oh, oh, but who did he perform with sometimes? Himchan. They’re close. And he’s been really affectionate with someone lately, posting a lot of things on Instagram with them… Oh yeah, that’s Jongup. Daehyun is a teasing person. He makes fun of people he cares about. That’s what he does. It’s their friendship.
I know comments can hurt fans. And I know it probably hurt Himchan and Jongup, too. Daehyun said it when he, too, was hurt. Should he have said it? No. But right now, he’s probably feeling really guilty about it. You know how much he cares. You know he cares about the rest of B.A.P.
I know the comments can hurt fans. But he said them jokingly towards his best friends. It wasn’t targeted at the fans. It can still hurt, and I get that. But his intention wasn’t to hurt the fans. Does intention matter? Not always. But we’re talking about Daehyun, the Daehyun who got a permanent tattoo in honor of BABYz and how much he loves them. If he knew he had hurt fans, he would apologize immediately and he would feel guilty about it.
Does that, all of that, everything up there, justify the comments? No, it doesn’t. But it does explain them.
What confuses me is the way that some BABYz are acting. Hello, B.A.P has six members: Yongguk, Himchan, Jongup, Zelo, Youngjae, and… Devil? Oh, no his name is Daehyun, right. But for some reason some BABYz are treating him like he is the devil. Saying they want to hurt him, being rude and disrespectful… He’s still human. He may have been disrespectful but he does not deserve to be disrespected. He stepped out of line, yes. But he is still a person, and all people are deserving of respect. (If you try to bring up dictators, etc, to counter this argument, that just shows that you’re so desperate for some angle at which to hit Daehyun that you are willing to minimize the effects of some of the worst experiences this world has had and make them out to equal to rude comments.) Don’t fight fire with fire. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
The best piece of advice I’d ever heard from a friend:
If someone makes you feel less than human, you don’t do the same to them.
Just think about that. Everyone who’s dealt with weight issues knows how much the comments hurt. How much they can ruin a person. And not just weight. Any comments. They can hurt. They can ruin a person.
Would you really want to ruin a person in return for any reason at all?
How could you say some of the rude things I’ve seen? I don’t get it. I really, truly, legitimately cannot comprehend it. It’s like, here are all of these BABYz who all love B.A.P, right? But the moment, the very second Daehyun even puts one toe over the line, everyone turns their weapons on him.
Jung Daehyun is this person who devotes so much to BABYz. He tries so hard. If he knew at all that he had hurt a single BABY, he would feel so bad. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know. And he didn’t know it would hurt BABYz. That’s why he said it. That doesn’t excuse the fact that it was rude and uncalled for, but I hope you see my point.
B.A.P isn’t B.A.P without Daehyun. But the moment he messes up, people are against him.
I legitimately cannot comprehend, I can’t even begin to fathom, how that works in peoples’ heads.
He made a joking comment. A hurtful joke. And now people are doing the same to him, without considering the hypocrisy.
Don’t fight fire with fire.
He loves BABYz so much. B.A.P isn’t B.A.P without Daehyun. And somehow people are able to turn on him in a second, acting like they hate him, like the group would be better off without him.
It makes no sense to me. I’m so immensely confused by that kind of behavior. It just doesn’t make sense.
A good person can make bad decision. That doesn’t make them a bad person. Daehyun is still a good person. He still deserves respect.
You can’t justify saying you wan’t to “slap the shit out of him,” “kick his ass,” etc, because it is so rude. And it would make him feel less than human. And how is what he did - making a hurtful joke - deserving of violence? Go ahead, say you were joking - a hurtful joke - oh, hey. There it is. Hello, hypocrisy.
If he knew he’d hurt a single BABY, he would apologize immediately and feel bad. If some of you BABYz knew you hurt him by saying what you are saying, which is unnecessarily disrespectful and rude, would you do the same? The difference between Daehyun and some BABYz here is that he hurt people without intent. Some BABYz are trying to hurt him intentionally. And intent does matter sometimes. This is one of those times.
This is when I ask myself - do BABYz truly care about Daehyun? You know he would be upset if he knew he’d hurt fans. He’s probably upset because he knew he hurt Himchan and Jongup. But some people are being so nasty and vehement and rude to Daehyun because he messed up.
He probably knows he hurt Himchan and Jongup. If he knows, then he’d feel guilty. He’s probably apologized to them by now. He’s not a bad person. He has no malicious intents. And if he knew he’d hurt BABYz, too, he’d feel so bad. He has no malicious intents. We know Daehyun - and we know he doesn’t purposely hurt people. Intent does matter sometimes.
And I don’t get how people are so willing and happy to hurt him after he messed up - he’s a member of a music group you care about. Shouldn’t you care about him, too?
I. Know. It. Can. Hurt. Fans. And what he did, he shouldn’t have done. But he did. He messed up. And he is going to grow from it. But expecting him to grow from legitimately hateful comments isn’t going to help. You don’t have to hurt him to get him to realize he messed up
A good person can make bad decisions. That doesn’t make them a bad person.
If someone makes you feel less than human, you don’t do the same to them.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
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