Hypnosis Mic Headcanon

My personal headcanons and dumb memes of the Division All Stars

[hypmic-headcanons]

Doppo: My body is my temple

Doppo: Old, decrepit, probably haunted

[noittt]

when u see jakurai

[hypmicyume]

[hypmic-headcanons]

Ichiro, hungover: Ow, I haven't been that drunk in a while. I think I rode one of Jyuto's police horses into a pool?

Samatoki: THAT WAS ME YOU RODE INTO THE POOL YOU LITTLE SHIT

[hypmic-headcanons]

Jakurai: So what have the three of you been doing as of late?

Ichiro: The store was quiet so I wrote a new rap single

Saburo: I was practicing my coding

Ichiro: Saburo...

Saburo:

Saburo: Fine. I hacked the Pentagon again

Jakurai, choking: Wha-

Jiro: I joined a group on Facebook where we all pretend we're ants in an ant colony

[hypmic-headcanons]

Jiro: I've connected the two dots

Saburo: You didn't connect shit

Jiro: I've connected them

[hypmic-headcanons]

Jakurai: Aren't you a little short to be a rapper?

Ramuda: Aren't you a little old to be alive?

[hypmic-headcanons]

Jiro: Hey Ichi-nii?

Ichiro: Yes, Jiro?

Jiro: How long can someone breathe in a washing machine while it’s running?

Ichiro, chuckling: Now why would you want to know that Jiro?

Jiro:

Ichiro:

Ichiro: WHERE’S SABURO-

[hypmic-headcanons]

Jakurai: *is stitching a wound on Ramuda's back after a battle*

Ramuda: *winks at him* Do you work for the postal service? Because I see you checking out my package.

Jakurai: *jabs the needle violently into his back*

Ramuda: AHHH. OW. OW. I'M SORRY. I TAKE IT BACK.

[hypmic-headcanons]

Rosho: *taking a shower*

Rosho: *reaches out to grab a towel*

Sasara: *hands him a towel*

Rosho: *takes the towel*

A pause.

Rosho: Why am I not surprised.

[kukokun]

sorry for the cursed ones lmao

[thecrownedcat]

I hate how Ichiro isn’t sitting properly.

[nugsters]

It's probably just my own stupid thought but y'know-

[hypmic-headcanons]

Ramuda: Okay Dice. How would a gentleman flirt?

Dice: Uh. You. Your face. I like it.

Gentaro: That would be about when the girl walks out.

Dice: Baby no, come back. PLEASE MAKE BABIES WITH ME.

Ramuda: THAT'S MY BOY.

Gentaro: Dear God, why am I on this team?

[hypmic-headcanons]

Gentaro: I want a baby

Dice: Give me a week

Dice: What color?

[hypmic-headcanons]

Dice: Oh shit, that guy dropped his hot dog and just walked away

Gentaro:

Dice:

Dice: FIVE SECOND RULE

Gentaro: Dice nO

Dice: DICE YES

[hypmic-headcanons]

Dice: I can’t believe I let you talk me into this

Ramuda: I literally said “I have an idea” and you just went with it without question. So much convincing you took.