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@hytesxmateo
Shawn Hatosy x Quinn
you have no idea ; jack abbot
summary: even after swapping from nights to days, you just canāt seem to escape the inconveniently attractive night shift attending. then a ptmc night out, a sparkly dress, and a not-so-innocent game of never have i ever leads to dr. jack abbot making sure you can never utter the words ānever have i ever finished during sexā ever again.
notes: i really hope you guys enjoiy this! it was so much fun to write and i just feel like jack is a little easier to put into silly situations than robby, so here i am torturing the poor man! i'm sorry in advance if the smut is kind of mid, i was fighting tumblr's block limit rule with this fic so i feel like i didn't get indulge as much as i would have liked, but still! i hope you guys love it, and please, please let me know what you think! (p.s. i think i mentioned the title was originally 'unaffected' but i like this one better)
warnings: swearing, alcohol, blushing, italics, jealousy, implied age gap, jack is a yearner, reader wears a "revealing" dress (but description is very vague and there's zero detail about body-type), mildly uncomfortable male encounters, friend!santos, pittlings chaos, garsantos mention, jack gets a little possessive, reader has long enough hair to sweep off her neck, and SMUT (making out, fingering, "panties", a tiny bit of dirty talk, unprotected piv, "good girl", and jack says sweetheart a lot) 18+ only please, mdni.
word count: 18889
Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous man.
Possessive, maybe. Protective, definitely. But jealous? Never.
He had never really had anything to be jealous of.
Until now.
Now there are far too many things.
Like the pen between your lipsāand the way you bite down just hard enough to leave a little dent in the plastic while you read through Danaās notes.
Or Dana herself, and the way youāre looking at herāsoft, sleepy, warm in a way that twists something tight in Jackās chest. The same way you used to look at him in the quiet hours at the end of a night shift.
Or your scrubsāGod, your scrubsāand the way they fit just a little too well tonight. Too tight in all the right places. Distracting in ways that are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Jack has never needed to be jealous of anything before, but now he finds himself jealous of inanimate objects, coworkers you barely glance at, and your goddamn clothes.
So, yeah. Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous manāuntil you came along.
āDr. Abbot,ā Dana calls, peering over the top of her glasses. āYouāre early.ā
Beside her, you glance up from your tablet, meeting his eyes across the ER with that same soft smile.
āDr. Abbot,ā you say, like you canāt quite help yourself.
Jack squares his shoulders and starts toward the nursesā station, determined not to let Dana and her all-knowing, all-seeing bullshit clock exactly why heās at work almost two hours earlier than he needs to be.
āYeah, Iāve got some stuff I didnāt get to wrap up this morning,ā he lies.
Princess pops up from behind the desk. āI thought you said you stayed back this morning to make sure everything was sorted?ā
Jackās gaze cuts to her. āYes. But I forgot something.ā
Dana narrows her eyes. āMhm. Whatād you forget?ā
āA few notes from the three a.m. GSW,ā he replies quicklyātoo quickly.
Itās weak and he knows it, but thereās nothing else he could think of with Dana watching him like that and your warm, sleepy gaze still lingering from across the desk.
Dana nods slowly, adjusting the chart in her hands. āRight. Two hours early for a few notes.ā
Jack just shrugs, avoiding her gaze as he walks pastāand he doesnāt look back until heās safely around the corner, standing in front of his locker. Only then does he risk a glance, just briefly over his shoulder, quick enough to catch a glimpse of you disappearing down the North hall.
God. Itās ridiculous, really. Heās a grown man.
More than thatāhe's an old man.
Yet here he is staying late at work and coming in early just to see more of you. Because ever since you swapped from nights to days, Jack doesnāt quite know what to do with himself. Sure, he could barely concentrate when you were on shift together, but who knew not having you around would be even worse?
He spends the first half of his shift hating himself for being so hung up on someone so young and so impossibly out of reachāthen spends the second half anxiously awaiting your arrival for the day shift.
And itās only been two weeks.
But the absolute worst part?
He doesnāt even know why you swapped shifts. You never even spoke to him about it. You just told him at four a.m. two Saturdays ago that you were switching to day shift. No reason. No explanation. That was it.
At first he wondered if it was his faultāif maybe youād simply decided you didnāt like working with him.
But you still greet him every morning and every evening with that same warm smile. You still look to him first whenever someone asks for an attending and heās still around. You still text him whenever the ER cat shows up outside the ambulance bayāwhich apparently happens much more often during the day shift.
And Jack still buys a packet of freeze-dried liver treats every Sunday to keep in the cupboard above the break room fridgeābecause he knows how much you love feeding that cat.
āWhatāre you doing here?ā
Jackās head whips around at the sound of his friendās voice.
āIāuhācame in early to fix up a few notes,ā he says, turning back to shove his bag into his locker.
Robbyās brows lift. āTwo hours for notes?ā
Jack sighs, slinging his stethoscope around his neck and shutting his locker before turning to face his fellow attending. āAre you of all people really going to lecture me about not having a life outside of this ER?ā
Robby chuckles quietly, lifting both hands out of his pockets in surrender. āI wasnāt judging.ā
āGood,ā Jack mutters, already starting back toward central. āAnything I need to know?ā
Robby falls into step beside him. āNorth Threeās waiting on a CT for possible appendicitis. Kid in Five came in with chest pain but his labs look clean so far. Danaās still fighting with bed control about moving the pneumonia admit upstairs.ā
They both stop at the nursesā station, glancing up at the board.
āOtherwise itās been unusually calm,ā Robby adds. āWhich probably means youāre about to get slammed.ā
Jack gives him a flat look. āThanks.ā
āAnytime.ā Robby claps him on the shoulder. āOhāand that R2 you gave me?ā
āWhat about her?ā
Robby shrugs. āSheās great.ā
āI know,ā Jack says, keeping his voice carefully even.
Robby studies him for a second, eyes narrowing just a fraction, the corner of his mouth threatening to lift. The man might be a disaster when it comes to his own feelings, but he has an uncanny talent for spotting everyone elseās.
āWeāre alright out here if you want to catch up on your notes,ā he says after a moment, already turning away. āOr go make the rounds. Get some very thorough handovers from the residents.ā
Jack keeps his eyes fixed on the board. āI hate you.ā
Robby huffs out a quiet laugh. āThen why are you here two hours early?ā
Jack exhales sharply and steps forward, pulling one of the tablets from the rack.
āNotes,ā he says, a little louder than necessary.
Robby just shakes his head, still smiling faintly as he disappears down the North corridor.
For a moment, Jack doesnāt move. He lingers at the nursesā station, tablet in hand, pretending to analyse the board while ignoring the incredibly unsubtle looks from Perlah and Princessāboth of them watching him with the kind of interest that usually means someoneās about to become the subject of a very entertaining conversation.
Then, with a polite nod to each of them, he clears his throat and steps away, turning toward the break roomātrying very hard not to hope he runs into you on the way.
And trying not to be disappointed when he doesnāt.
The break room is empty when he steps inside, the noise of the ER dulling as the door falls shut behind him. He sets his tablet on the tableānext to someoneās half-eaten lunch and a discarded Lean Cuisine containerāand grabs a clean mug from the cupboard, pouring the last of the coffee pot into it.
Then he drops into the seat furthest from the door, his back to the bulletin board, and taps the tablet awake, pulling up the notes for the three a.m. GSW. The same notes he already finished in detail while staying back this morningābefore Robby told him to get the hell out of his ER and get some sleep.
He barely makes it through two lines of the chart before the door swings open again.
āShit, sorry,ā you say quickly, stepping toward the table.
Jackās pulse does the same stupid thing it always does whenever he sees you, making his chest feel hot and his head a little fuzzy.
āWhat are you sorry for?ā he asks, as if it isnāt obvious.
Youāve already stacked the Lean Cuisine container on top of the half-eaten bowl of something grey and mushy-looking and are halfway to the sink with them.
āI only got, like, a five-minute break today and had to run out for a trauma, then completely forgot about my lunch,ā you explain, cheeks flushed as you glance down at the bowl. āThis is gross. Iām so sorry.ā
Jack shifts in his chair. āIāve seen worse in here, I promise.ā
You glance over your shoulder as you turn on the tap, the corner of your mouth lifting just slightly. āReally?ā
He nods. āReally.ā
He could almost swear your smile lifts a little higher before you turn back to the sink, scrubbing hurriedly at the bowl of slop that probably shouldnāt be going down the drain anyway.
Jack clears his throat. āButāuhāLean Cuisine? Really?ā
You look back at him again, brows drawn. āWhatās wrong with Lean Cuisine?ā
āNothing,ā he says lightly. āIf youāre trying to survive a very stressful twelve-hour shift on only four hundred calories.ā
You huff a quiet laugh, turning back to the sink. āI actually managed to eat lunch today. Thatās already a win.ā
āItās mostly sodium and sadness,ā he adds, almost absently. āNot much protein.ā
You finally turn the tap off and spin around, leaning a hip against the counter. āAlright, Dr. Abbot. When I find the spare time to start meal prepping between my very stressful twelve-hour shifts, Iāll let you know.ā
Jack opens his mouthāthen closes it again. Because what he wants to say is ridiculous.
But it comes out anyway.
āā¦I cook.ā
You blink.
āYou cook?ā
Jack clears his throat, suddenly very interested in his coffee mug.
āYeah. Well.ā He shrugs. āIāve been told Iām reasonably good at it.ā
You stare at him for a second, brows knitting slightly as you clearly try to figure out where the hell that came from.
āWell,ā you say with a quick smile, āI guess your dinner guests are pretty lucky.ā
Before he can respond, you grab the Lean Cuisine packet, toss it in the bin, and step toward the door.
āSorry again for the mess.ā
Then youāre goneāleaving Jack alone with his coffee, his notes, and the growing suspicion that there might actually be something seriously wrong with him.
-
āIs that Dr. Abbot in the break room?ā Santos asks, falling into step beside you.
You keep your eyes fixed on your tablet.
āYep.ā
She leans closer, steering you out of the way of a gurney.
āBut night shift doesnāt start for like two more hours.ā
āIām aware.ā
āSo, why is he here?ā
You exhale sharply and finally look up from your tablet. āI donāt know, Trin. Maybe because the universe hates me.ā
She snorts. āOr maybe because he likes you.ā
You roll your eyes, turning toward the South corridor. āPlease donāt start.ā
āIām not starting anything,ā she insists. āI seriously think that old man has a thing for you.ā
āDonāt call him that,ā you mutter.
āOkay, fine. I seriously think that hot, older man has a thing for you,ā she says, stopping beside you at the South desks. āAnd we all know how you feel about him, soāā
āNo,ā you snap. āWe donāt all know how I feel about JaāDr. Abbot.ā
She presses her lips together to keep from laughing.
āBesides,ā you go on, dropping into a chair. āI swapped to day shift so I could stop being distracted by my attending and actually focus on being a good doctorāso could you please stop distracting me?ā
She leans a hip against the desk, completely ignoring you. āAnd donāt you think thatās a little strange? I mean, you swapped to day shiftāwhat, two weeks ago?ā
You glance at her from the corner of your eye. āAnd?ā
āAnd,ā she says dramatically, āfor the past two weeks Dr. Abbot has been staying back every morning and coming in early every afternoon.ā
Your gaze slides back to the computer. āSo?ā
She sighs, exasperated. āItās not a coincidence.ā
āActually, I think it is,ā you argue.
She stares at you for a second, eyes narrowing. āYouāre impossible.ā
āAnd youāre annoying.ā
She rolls her eyes and pushes off the desk. āWhatever. Youāre still coming out tomorrow night, right?ā
Your fingers hesitate over the keyboard. āUhāIām not sure yet.ā
āDr. Ellis is the only person from night shift thatāll be there,ā she says.
You let out a quiet sigh of defeat.
āFine,ā you mutter. āIāll come.ā
āGood.ā She grins, already turning away. āCome to my place around six. We can get ready and pregame.ā
āWhy canāt I get ready at home?ā you ask.
āBecause,ā she calls over her shoulder, āI get to pick what you wear.ā
And before you can argue, she slips into a patient room, effectively ending the conversation.
āGreat,ā you mumble, turning back to the computer. āCanāt wait.ā
Itās not like youāre not looking forward to finally joining in on a night out now that youāre no longer on the night shift.
You are. Youāre just... nervous.
Nervous, perpetually stressed out, and still adjusting to life as a day-walker. And Santos knows that. She probably knows you better than anyone else at PTMCāeven though youāve spent the better part of ten months working opposite shifts.
Which is exactly why sheās pushing you to join this night out. Because she knows you need it. She knows you need to relax, forget about work, and do something other than obsess over the night shift attending whoās had you completely undone since the day you first met.
God.
Jack Abbot. The single most dangerous man in Pittsburgh.
Not only is he stupidly hot, but heās also annoyingly competent, irritatingly attentive, and has the starring role in every single one of your most inappropriate fantasies.
Heās also the very reason youāre terrified of having to redo your second year of residency, because that man affects your focus so much you literally canāt function. Like three weeks ago, when you walked straight into the glass door of Trauma One because you were too busy watching him take his jacket off.
His damn jacket.
That was the moment you finally decided you needed to swap shiftsābecause Dr. Shen couldnāt look at you for the rest of the night without bursting into laughter.
Jack Abbot is a liability to your health and wellbeingāwhich means he is a liability to your career. And even though asking Dr. Robby to swap to day shift was one of the most ridiculously difficult things youāve done since starting at PTMC, you stand by the fact that it was the right decision.
The smart decision. The professional decision. Even if⦠it might not be working yet.
Because now you canāt just glance across central anymore and see Jack leaning against the desk, talking through a case with Lena. You canāt have him step up beside you when youāre unsure about something and quietly walk you through it. Heās not the one across from you in the trauma bays. And there isnāt a coffee cup that magically appears in front of you during the three oāclock lull.
Now you just⦠think about him instead.
But itās only temporary. Youāre sure of it. You just need to get used to the day shift and figure out how to get Jack Abbot out of your head.
Which⦠you have a sneaking suspicion is what Santos plans on helping you with this weekend.
Youāre pretty sure you overheard her the other day telling Whitaker that the only way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. And maybe thatās exactly what you need to doāget under someone else so you can stop thinking about the maddeningly hot man whoās nearly twice your age and most definitely does not have a thing for you. Regardless of what Santos seems to think.
You spend the rest of your shift catching up on charting and trying very hard not to think about Dr. Abbot.
When someone asks for an attending, you call Dr. Robby. When you hear his voice just around the corner, you change paths as quickly and inconspicuously as you can. And when your notes are up to date and night shift starts rolling in, you find Dr. Ellis and give herāand only herāthe rundown on your patients.
By the time you shut your locker and sling your bag over your shoulder, the sky outside is dark and there are only a few day shifters left lingering around the nursesā station.
āDid you drive today?ā Whitaker asks, shutting his locker only a moment after you.
āYeah,ā you reply. āNeed a ride?ā
He nods sheepishly. āThatād be great. Santos left already, said I was taking too long.ā
You roll your eyes. āYeah, I bet it had nothing to do with whatever she and Garcia were whispering about in the stairwell.ā
Whitaker winces. āI just hope theyāre at Garciaās tonight.ā
You huff a small laugh and hitch your bag higher. āYou ready?ā
He nods.
You both turn and start back toward centralābut just as you reach the nursesā station, his steps slow.
āDo you need toā¦?ā
He jerks a thumb over his shoulder.
You frown. āNeed to what?ā
He hesitates. āDonāt you normally say goodbye to Dr. Abbot?ā
Your eyes widen slowly. āUhāno. Why would you say that?ā
He shrugs. āI donāt know. I just thought you two were close.ā
āWeāre not close,ā you say, a little too quick.
āSorry,ā he mutters, raising both hands in surrender. āI justāI donāt know. I thought because you were his resident you two were⦠close.ā
āIām not his resident,ā you snap. āIām just⦠a resident. I donāt belong to him.ā
āOkay,ā he says slowly, brows drawing together. āIām sorry, I just thoughtāā
āYou thought wrong,ā you mutter, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one is listening.
Thankfully, the two nosiest nurses in the ER have already gone home for the day.
āLetās just go.ā
You grab his wrist and walk quickly toward the ambulance bay doors, giving Ellis and Shen a small nod as you passācompletely missing the middle-aged attending who just overheard most of your conversation.
The car ride to Santos and Whitakerās isnāt long. Whitaker fills most of it anywayārambling about the shift, about the kid in Five and whether night shift is going to get slammed, about how Dana looked like she was two seconds away from strangling bed control by the end of the day. And every few minutes he circles back around to apologising for making you drive him home.
You wave him off each time.
āItās fine, Whitaker.ā
āSeriously though,ā he says as you pull up outside their building. āI really appreciate it.ā
He slings his bag over his shoulder and climbs out of the car, pausing on the sidewalk to give you one last wave before heading toward the front door.
The moment the passenger door falls shut, the quiet settles in. You let out a long breath, tipping your head back against the headrest and letting your eyes fall shut for a moment. And immediatelyāinevitablyāyour brain drifts straight back to the same place it always does.
Jack Abbot. Of course.
You scrub a hand over your face before shifting the car back into gear and pulling away.
The rest of the night passes the way most nights doāwith a quick shower, something vaguely edible scavenged from the fridge, and half-heartedly scrolling through your phone until exhaustion finally drags you to bed.
When your head finally hits the pillow, you tell yourself youāre too tired to think about him. Itās been a long dayālong weekāand all you need right now is sleep, not fantasies.
But that doesnāt stop your brain from doing it anyway. Because sometime in the early hours of the morning, Jack Abbot shows up in your dreams. Not in the ER. Not standing beside you at the nursesā station or leaning over a chart.
Heās in a kitchen. Cooking.
Sleeves rolled up to his elbows, moving around the stove with the same quiet confidence he carries through the hospitalālike he knows exactly what heās doing and expects the rest of the world just to trust him.
And in the dream, you do.
You lean against the counter and watch him the way you sometimes watch him in the trauma bays, telling yourself youāre just observing. Just curious. Just learning.
He glances over his shoulder eventually, catching you staringāand says something you canāt quite hear over the soft clatter of the pan. But heās smiling.
Then the dream shifts the way dreams tend toālogic slipping sideways until suddenly youāre standing much closer than you should be. Close enough to smell whatever heās cooking. Close enough that when he turns toward you the space between you disappears entirely.
His hand settles at your waist like it belongs there.
Your back meets the edge of the counter.
And when his mouth brushes your neckā
You wake with a sharp inhale, staring up at the ceiling, heart racing.
āFuck,ā you mutter, dragging a hand over your face.
So much for getting him out of your head.
For a while, you just lie there, staring at the ceiling, watching the first pale line of sunlight creep across until it touches the wall opposite your window.
At some point you realise youāre still replaying the dream in your head.
The kitchen. The way his hand had felt at your waist. The warmth of his mouth against your neck.
You groan quietly and drag the blanket over your face.
āGet a fucking grip.ā
Then you throw the covers back and force yourself out of bed, heading straight into the kitchen in search of coffee.
Your small apartment is always quietābut this morning it feels too quiet. Too still as you silently sip your coffee, one hip leaned against the kitchen counter. Which, unfortunately, leaves far too much room for your brain to wander right back to its favourite topic.
Jack Abbot.
After coffee, you take yourself for a long walk around the block, hoping the cool morning air might help clear the remnants of the dream from your head.
It doesnāt.
But by the time you make it back to your apartment, your legs feel loose and your mind feels a little quieter, and for the briefest moment you almost manage to convince yourself that youāre excited about tonight. That youāre going to be able to do what Santos is clearly angling for and go home with an attractive stranger so you can stop draining your vibrator battery with inappropriate thoughts of your attending.
The rest of the day drifts past in a slow blur of small, forgettable things. Laundry. Answering a couple of messages in the group chat. Half-heartedly reviewing a few notes from earlier in the week before deciding you absolutely refuse to think about work on your day off.
Eventually the afternoon light begins to soften and stretch across the floor, which means itās probably time to start getting ready if youāre actually going to make it to Santosā place before she decides youāre bailing and comes knocking to drag you there herself.
So you shower, change, pack a bag, and throw it over your shoulder on the way out the doorātrying very hard not to feel disappointed that Dr. Ellis is the only person from night shift whoās going to be at the bar tonight.
It really is for the best.
You, alcohol, and Jack Abbot in the same room is a terrible idea.
āAlright, Iām ready,ā Santos announces, finally stepping out of the bathroom.
You, Javadi, and Whitakerāwho have spent the last twenty minutes on the couch chatting and sipping beerālook up.
āAw, I wish I could do winged eyeliner like that,ā Javadi says. āIt just doesnāt suit my eye shape.ā
āDonāt look too close,ā Santos mutters. āItās super uneven, but I donāt have time. I still have to fix this one before we go.ā
She tips her chin toward where you and Whitaker are sitting on the opposite end of the lounge.
Whitakerās eyes go wide. āMe?ā
Santos scoffs. āNot you, Huckleberry. God, I donāt have enough time in the world to fix whateverās going on there.ā
Whitaker frowns, glancing down at his navy-blue button-up shirt. āWhatās wrong with this?ā
āEverything,ā Santos says, already turning away.
Whitaker lifts his head, glancing between you and Javadi. āIs it really that bad?ā
Javadi leans forward, lowering her voice. āThereās nothing wrong with it, Whitaker. You look great.ā
You pat his shoulder. āItās fine, really. Sheās justāā
The words die on your tongue as Santos reappears, holding what can only be described as a sparkly scrap of fabric on a hanger.
Javadi tilts her head. āWhatās that?ā
Santos grins. āA dress.ā
Whitaker chokes on his beer. āThatās⦠not a dress. Thatās a glittery napkin.ā
āOh my God.ā Javadi snorts. āMy mom would kill me just for buying that.ā
āI didnāt buy it,ā Santos says lightly. āA friend in college gave it to me, but itās never fit quite right.ā
She steps forward, extending the hanger toward you.
āBut I know youāll be able to pull it off,ā she adds, her grin sharpening.
You stare at itāglinting in the low evening sun spilling through the windows.
āSantos⦠this is a work thing,ā you mutter.
She rolls her eyes. āItās not a work thing. Itās just an outing with people from work.ā
āIsnāt that the same thing?ā Whitaker asks.
Santos sighs. āNo, itās not. And are you forgetting our main objective?ā
You blink at her.
āTo get you laid.ā
Javadi giggles nervously, trying to hide it behind a swig of beer.
āCome on,ā Santos says. āJust put it on and if it doesnāt work, we try something else.ā
You hesitate, staring at the glittery thing like it might catch fire at any moment. Which, given enough sunlight, it probably could.
āFine,ā you say at last, pushing off the couch. āIāll try it on, but that does not mean Iām wearing it.ā
Santosā eyes sparkle with excitement. Or maybe itās just the dress.
āThatās my girl.ā
You take the hanger from her and trudge into her room, nudging the door shut behind you. It takes a minute for you to figure out how the glittery napkin is supposed to go onābut once you do, you shed your comfortable clothes and shimmy into the most sparkly piece of fabric youāve ever worn.
And somehow, the shimmering scrap of nothing turns out to be an actual dressāshort, sparkling, and just structured enough to stay where itās supposed to while still feeling mildly illegal.
With a deep breath, you turn away from the mirror and open the door, stepping back out into the lounge room.
āSo?ā
For a moment, no one says anything.
Whitakerās mouth falls open.
Javadiās eyebrows lift. āOh.ā
Santos, meanwhile, tilts her head appreciatively, one hand on her hip, eyes gleaming as she looks you over from head to toe.
āI knew it,ā she says smugly.
Whitaker blinks. āThat is not a dress.ā
Javadi elbows him. āStop talking.ā
You tug awkwardly at the hemāwhich doesnāt actually move much because there isnāt very much hem to tug.
āSantos,ā you say carefully, āIām not sureāā
āRelax,ā she says. āYou look incredible.ā
She circles you slowly, like a stylist inspecting her work.
āAnd youāre definitely going to get laid.ā
āI feel like I shouldnāt be here,ā Whitaker mutters, his face bright red.
Santos rolls her eyes. āYouāre only here because you live here, Huckleberry. Now go grab that bottle of tequila from on top of the fridgeāweāre going to need some liquid courage before we head out.ā
After two shots of tequila and Santosā finishing touches to your makeup, you all head out the door. Whitaker calls an Uber, the four of you pile in, and you carefully keep Santosā leather jacket wrapped around yourself for some semblance of modesty.
You donāt really plan on taking it off for the rest of the nightāeven if it isnāt that cold.
The ride to the bar isnāt nearly long enough. Javadi spends most of it excitedly talking about how she can finally go out drinking now that sheās twenty-one, which Santos encourages with the enthusiasm of someone who clearly intends to make the most of that milestone.
You mostly just stare out the window. Trying not to think about the dress you shouldnāt have agreed to wear and the night shift attending you definitely shouldnāt be missing right now. Because if someone asked you where youād rather be tonightāthe bar or the ER with Dr. Abbotāyour honest answer would be incredibly depressing.
Who would rather be at work than out with their friends on a Saturday night?
āWeāre here,ā Santos announces, nudging your side a little too hard.
You all thank the driver before climbing out, gathering yourselves on the sidewalk in front of the familiar establishment Santos loves dragging everyone to.
āRelax,ā she says, dropping a hand on your shoulder. āYou donāt need this.ā
She tugs at the leather jacket, pulling it off your shoulders until itās bunched at your elbows.
āI feel naked,ā you mutter. āLike this is some nightmare where I show up to work in my underwear.ā
Whitaker snorts. āNot far from it.ā
Santos rolls her eyes. āWell, youāre not at work. Youāre at a bar. And this is supposed to be fun.ā
Right. Fun.
That is the entire point of tonight. Go out. Have a drink. Meet someone who isnāt Jack Abbot. Ideally forget Jack Abbot exists for at least a few hours.
Completely achievable.
Right?
āFine.ā
You draw a deep breath and drop your arms, letting the jacket slide off completely. Santos grins as you sling it over one elbow, trying not to instinctively hold it in front of your body like armour.
āSee?ā she says. āMuch better.ā
āLetās just go inside before I change my mind,ā you mutter, already starting toward the door.
Javadi loops her arm through yours. āYou look amazing. Seriously.ā
You give her a small smile, trying not to feel quite so awkward as Santos leads the way toward the main entrance.
Itās just a bar. Just a normal Saturday night. Youāll be fine after a few more shots of liquid courage.
You glance through the front window as you approachāmore out of habit than anything else, your eyes drifting lazily over the crowded room inside.
People. Low lights. Patrons lingering around the bar.
Andā
Your brain stalls.
Because thereās a man leaning against the bar with one elbow braced on the countertop, his shoulders broad under a tight black shirt, head tipped slightly as he talks to someone beside him.
A familiar someone.
Dr. Ellis.
And the manā
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Your stomach plummets.
Jack fucking Abbot.
Your feet stop moving, your whole body suddenly forgetting how to function.
Your pulse kicks violently against the inside of your throat as a wave of heat rushes up the back of your neck, sudden and dizzying and sharp enough to make the edges of your vision blur for half a second.
Because he looksā
He looks so good.
Relaxed in a way youāve never seen at work. One hand curled loosely around a glass as he frowns slightly at something Ellis is saying, that small crease between his brows you know far too well.
And suddenly you are extremely, violently aware that you are standing outside a bar wearing approximately three square inches of glitter.
āHey,ā Javadi says beside you. āWhatāsāā
āSantos.ā
She doesnāt stop.
āSantos,ā you say again, your voice almost breaking.
She glances over her shoulder. āHm?ā
āYou knew.ā
She stops, her hand hovering near the door.
Whitaker glances between the two of you. āWhatās happening?ā
āTechnically,ā Santos says slowly, āI didnāt know. I just... suspected.ā
āYou said Ellis was the only one from night shift whoād be here.ā
She winces. āI did, but what I meant is⦠Ellis is the only one who actually told me sheād be here.ā
You stare at her. āSo you did know?ā
āI knew it was his night off.ā
āSantos, Iāā You glance back at him through the bar window. āI canāt go in there like this.ā
āLike what?ā she asks. āSmoking hot?ā
āHalf naked.ā
She rolls her eyes. āYes, you can.ā
āI will actually die.ā
āNo, you wonāt,ā she says firmly. āYouāre an adult. You can wear whatever you want, talk to whoever you want, and just because your incredibly inconvenient attending crush happens to be inside does not suddenly revoke your civil liberties.ā
She pulls the door open.
āNow stop panicking and get in the bar.ā
-
āHe swore the chest pain had nothing to do with the seven energy drinks heād had that night,ā Ellis says, still rambling about a patient who pissed her off two nights ago, āwhich was a bold position to take with a heart rate of one-forty.ā
Jack snorts softly. āAnd did you believe him?ā
Ellisā eyes go wide, and she takes a long drink before continuing her rant about night shift patients and the strange confidence people have when explaining why their terrible decisions definitely have nothing to do with the symptoms theyāre currently experiencing.
Jack nods along, offering the occasional comment or question where needed, meeting her gaze now and thenābut mostly keeping his attention on the door. Waiting. Because heās not stupid enough to ask anyone if youāre going to be here tonight, but he is naĆÆve enough to hope you will be.
He wasnāt even supposed to be here tonightāhis first night off in two weeks.
He was supposed to be at home, cooking something decent for dinner, enjoying the rare luxury of not wearing scrubs, and inevitably indulging in his favourite guilty pleasureāinvolving nothing but his hand and some very inappropriate thoughts of you.
But heās not.
Heās here. In a crowded bar, sipping cheap scotch, listening to Ellis complain about the night shift patients and their weird confidence, just⦠waiting.
For you.
Heād wanted to ask you yesterday if you were coming to the bar tonightābefore he agreed to joinābut heād barely seen you before the end of your shift. And you didnāt even say goodbye. Which isnāt unusual, given how chaotic the ER can be, but then heād overheard your conversation with Whitakerāand something about it made his chest feel too tight.
It wasnāt anger. Not exactly. Not jealousy, either. It was just... wrong. Not because what you said was wrong, but because he hates that it was right. That you donāt belong to him. Even if Robby calls you āhis R2ā and Whitaker thinks youāre close because youāre his residentānone of it changes the fact that he has no real claim over you.
Which is ridiculous. He knows it.
He shouldnāt feel territorial. He shouldnāt want this. Want you. And yet, his chest still feels too tightāa slow, hot coil of frustration and longing curling up into his throat, and he hates it. Hates hearing it out loud, hates how much it matters, hates that he canāt make it not matter.
āOh.ā Ellis glances over her shoulder. āLooks like Santos and the others are here.ā
Jackās gaze flicks back to the door.
He tries not to react, not to straighten, not to square his shoulders as if heās bracing for somethingābut he can already feel his composure slipping.
Santos steps in first, her head turned slightly as she talks to Whitaker, who walks in behind her. Then itās Javadi, an unusually wide smile on her face as she looks atā
You.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Jack stops breathing.
His chest burns. His stomach flips. His hand tightens dangerously around his scotch glass.
Itās you. Of course itās you. Youāre perfect.
But thenā
That dress.
God.
That dressāshort, sparkling, clinging just enough to make every nerve in his body snap awake. It shimmers under the low lights as you move, and he hates himself for noticing every subtle curve, every shift of fabric, as if time itself has slowed just to torture him.
Itās all too much.
He can feel his pulse in his throat, heat burning beneath his skin, blood rushing in the one direction it really, really shouldnāt be right now. In public. In front of his coworkers.
He blinks, finally tearing his gaze away from you.
And thatās when he notices the rest of the bar. All staring. All stunned.
He hates them all.
He hates that they can even look at you. Hates that the universe allows it. Hates that they might see even a fraction of what he seesāand feel a fraction of what he feels.
And he hates, more than anything right now, that youāre not his.
āDr. Abbot,ā Robby says, appearing beside him and slinging an arm across his shoulders. āWhatās your poison tonight?ā
Jack lifts his drink, knuckles still white around the glass. āScotch.ā
Robby claps his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. āYou might not want to have too many of those.ā
Then he slips past both Jack and Ellis and raises a hand to flag down the bartender.
āAlright,ā Ellis says, pushing off the bar. āIām going to go grab a seat before the table gets too crowded.ā
Jack nods, but he doesnāt follow. He stays beside the bar, rigid now, eyes fixed on the group of men at a high table just a few feet from the front door. Theyāre muttering to each other, leaning in, voices lowābut nothing about it is subtle. Their gazes are glued to you as you weave through patrons and tables to greet the rest of the PTMC crew gathered in a booth near the back.
One of themāthe dumbest looking one, Jackās already decidedāslowly slides off his stool, nodding along while his friends murmur their advice.
Jack glances back at you, now standing beside McKay, sliding your arms into the leather jacket youād been carrying. Santos grabs your wrist, tilting her head toward the bar as she starts dragging you with her.
And, like a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush, Jackās pulse starts racing.
āDr. Abbot,ā Santos says, grinning as you both approach the bar. āFancy seeing you somewhere other than the ER on a Saturday night.ā
āI do have a life outside of work, you know,ā he says dryly, lifting his drink and looking anywhere but at you.
āLike playing bingo at the senior centre?ā Santos asks, resting both forearms on the bar.
You step up on her other side, squinting at the shelves of liquor on the back wall like theyāre the most interesting thing in the room.
āBingoās on Wednesdays,ā he says mildly. āTry to keep up.ā
Santos snorts, shaking her head as she reaches for the small leather-bound bar menu. But out of the corner of his eye, Jack sees your head dipājust slightlyāand you try to hide a small laugh against your shoulder.
Jack feels it like a punch to the ribs.
Because youāre listening.
And apparently⦠you think heās funny.
āAlright,ā Santos says, lifting a hand. āI think we need some tequila over here.ā
The bartender steps away from where heād been serving farther down the bar, but his attention quickly drifts past Santos and lands on you. He leans in, resting one palm flat against the bar while he wipes down the counter with a rag that doesnāt really need wiping.
āSo,ā he says to you, not Santos. āWhat are you drinking tonight?ā
Santos blinks.
āI just told you,ā she says flatly. āTequila.ā
The bartender barely glances at her.
Jackās jaw tightens.
You look briefly confused, glancing between Santos and the bartender.
āUhāwhatever she orders is fine.ā
āYeah. Tequila,ā Santos repeats, slower this time.
The bartender laughs like sheās jokingāand Jack sets his scotch down slowly. Carefully.
His eyes stay locked on the man now lining up four small glasses in front of you, still completely ignoring Santos. The way heās watching you is too much. Too close. The faint curl at the corner of his mouth makes Jack want to punch the smirk right off his face.
And by the way you shift a little closer to Santosāpulling your jacket tighter around yourselfāhe knows youāre uncomfortable.
His hand clenches at his side.
Robby pauses as he walks past, a beer in each hand.
āEasy, tiger,ā he mutters. āShe can handle herself.ā
āI know,ā Jack says, voice low. āDoesnāt mean she has to.ā
Robby gives him a lookāa brief, knowing glance, somewhere between amusement and warning. āCareful.ā
Jack doesnāt respond. He just turns back to you and Santos, watching as you each knock back two shots of tequila, your nose scrunching as the burn hits. And he canāt help the small twitch at the corner of his mouth, because the face you make as you set the second glass down is ridiculously cute for someone wearing a dress like that.
āOkay,ā Santos says. āI need a vodka soda before I start making bad decisions.ā
The bartender nods, already reaching for another glassāand before he can even ask if youād like another drink, someone else steals your attention.
āHey,ā the guy says, stepping up beside you. āCan I get you another one?ā
He leans in, just enough to be heard over the noiseābut itās still too close.
You shift slightly, angling toward him. āOh. Uhāsure.ā
Santos presses her lips together, clearly fighting a smile as she turns back to the bar, suddenly very invested in whatever the bartender is doing. The second he sets the vodka soda in front of her, she scoops it up and drops a few bills on the counter.
She lifts the drink to her lips as she turns away, pausing just long enough to glance at Jack over the rim of the glass.
Her brows lift. āYou really gonna let that happen?ā
Jack frowns. āWhatāā
But Santos is already gone, drink in hand, halfway back to the booth where everyone else is.
Where Jack should be headed tooābecause thereās no reason for him to stay here. No reason for him to linger, to hover, to make sure youāre okay, to stand there glaring at the guy buying you a drink like thatās going to change anything.
Itās not like he can blame him. If Jack thought he had a shot with you, heād take it too. The difference is, Jack wouldnāt need the dress. Or the drinks. Or the crowd. Heād take that shot with you even when youāre tired and stressed out and covered in blood at the end of a bad shift in the ER. Heād take it any time. Any place.
But Jack doesnāt get that shot.
Because youāre young. You donāt have baggage. And youāre a residentāmaybe not his resident, but still a resident.
Itās just too inappropriate.
Jack sets his glass back on the bar a little harder than necessaryāand the bartender glances over, brows raised as if silently asking if heād like another, but Jack just shakes his head.
His eyes flick back to you. To the way youāre smiling nowāsoft, not uneasy. To the way you seem to have forgotten about keeping your jacket closed, and now the idiot talking to you is looking anywhere but your face.
Then you laughālight, easyāand something in Jackās chest tightens again.
He looks away. He canāt keep standing here. Heās not going to stand here and watch you flirt with some idiot at the bar like he has any right to care.
With a deep breath, he forces himself to turn away and start walking back to the table.
Where he should have been five minutes ago. Where he plans on staying for the rest of the night.
Half an hour later, most of PTMCās day shift staff are gathered in the booth, half still wearing their scrubs after coming straight from the hospital. The volume of conversation builds with the growing collection of empty glasses in the middle of the table, voices overlapping, getting louder with every roundābut Jack doesnāt order another scotch. At some point, Ellis sets a beer in front of him, which he nurses until itās too warm to enjoy.
Every now and then, he makes a point of nodding or laughing or glancing at someone across the tableāpretending to follow the conversation, pretending heās paying attentionāwhen really, all he can focus on is you. You and your smile. And your laugh. And the way your hand settles lightly on a manās bicep when he says something that makes you blush.
Not the same man as before, either. Noāthis one is new. This one swooped in when the first one excused himself to take a phone call, and now that one is back at the table with his friends, sulking.
Kind of how Jack is right now, sitting at the table with his friends. Sulking. Glaring. Plotting.
He knows he shouldnāt. He knows itās none of his business. But he canāt stop himself from trying to come up with an excuse to interrupt you. To get you away from those men and their lingering stares.
Not that heās any better.
āAbbot.ā Robby nudges his side. āHungry?ā
Jack blinks, finally dragging his gaze away from you to where Ellis is standing, looking expectant.
āHm?ā
āAre you hungry?ā Ellis asks. āIām going to order some wings.ā
Jack frowns. āUhāno. Iām good. Thanks.ā
Ellis nods once and turns away, heading straight for the bar.
Robby huffs a quiet laugh beside him. āYou might want to turn your hearing aids up, old man.ā
Jack doesnāt even look at him. āFunny.ā
āIām serious,ā Robby says mildly. āYouāve missed, what, three questions in the last five minutes?ā
āI heard her,ā Jack mutters. āI was just... thinking.ā
Robby hums like he doesnāt believe that for a second.
Jack shifts, pushing his chair back as he sets his warm beer on the table. āIām gonna hit the head.ā
Robbyās brows lift, slow and knowing, his gaze flicking briefly toward the bar.
āMm,ā he says. āSure you are.ā
Jack does, in fact, turn toward the bathrooms firstāmostly because he needs a second away from all the music and chatter to try and clear his head. To try and stop himself from doing what he really left the booth to do.
He locks himself in the accessible bathroomānot that he needs it, but itās more private than the menāsāand stands in front of the vanity. He presses his palms into the porcelain sink, shifting his weight forward with a deep, steadying breath.
This is ridiculous, and he knows it.
Heās a grown man. He shouldnāt be acting like this.
This is trivial shit, for Godās sake. Jack is a vet. A seasoned ER doctor.
So why is a goddamn crush undoing him like this?
Why are you undoing him like this?
He lifts his head and stares at his reflectionājaw tight, shoulders rigidātrying to get a grip. Trying to remember that he is a grown ass man, not some idiot who canāt keep his shit together.
His gaze drifts across his faceāthe day-old stubble, peppered hairāthen to the reflection of the bathroom behind him. The graffitied walls, covered in stickers and spray paint, a chaotic collection of late nights and inebriated thoughts. He wonders, briefly, how many people came in here intending to leave something behind.
Then he spots something scrawled in the corner of the mirror in thick black marker.
HESITATE AND SOMEONE ELSE WONāT.
Jack tilts his head.
Thatās not exactly... subtle.
But thatās the thing, isnāt it?
He doesnāt hesitate.
Not in the trauma bay. Not out in the field. Not when it matters. Not when someoneās life is on the line and everyone else is waiting for someone to make the call.
So what the hell is this?
This⦠standing back. Watching. Letting it happen.
Like he doesnāt know what he wants. Like he hasnāt already made up his mind.
He drags a hand over his mouth, shaking his head onceāsharp, annoyed.
āJesus Christ.ā
Itās not caution. Itās avoidance.
With another deep breath, Jack reaches for the tap and braces his hands beneath the stream. He scrubs them togetherāquick and thoroughāthen turns off the water, grabs a paper towel, and dries his hands with more focus than necessary. He tosses the towel in the bin on his way out the door, his gaze sharpening as he scans the barāfinding you immediately.
Youāre still standing where you were, maybe a few steps closer to the back of the room. Thereās a new guy in front of you now, closing you in, crowding your space just enough to make Jackās eyes narrow.
The manās hand settles at your waist, a little lower than what could be considered innocent. And anyone else watching might think youāre okay with itābut Jack knows you. He sees the small flicker of discomfort that crosses your face, the subtle drop of your shoulder as you try to angle yourself away without seeming rude.
Good thing Jack doesnāt mind being rude.
Heās already moving before heās fully decided to. Just a few long strides and heās thereāclose enough to cut through the space between you and the guy without touching either of you, his presence alone enough to interrupt whatever the hell this is supposed to be.
He looks at you. Just you.
āHey.ā
Your head turns immediatelyāand the shift in your expression is instant. Relief.
āOhāhey,ā you say, a little breathless.
And then you step into him. Not too close. Not in a way that draws attention or suggests anythingābut enough to make Jackās pulse jump. Enough for him to feel your warmth and the way it settles under his skin.
āHey, man,ā the guy says, holding out a hand. āIām Trent.ā
Jack ignores him.
āYou alright?ā he asks you.
You nod slowly. āI am now.ā
Your fingers curl into the back of his shirt, just for a secondālike you didnāt even think about it. Like you just needed something solid to hold onto.
Jack goes still.
Trent clears his throat. āSorryāuhāwho are you?ā
You glance at him with a tight smile. āThis is my attending.ā
Jack likes being called your attending.
Trent frowns. āWhat?ā
āRemember how I said I was a doctor?ā
Trent just stares at you.
āWell, Dr. Abbot is my attending,ā you go on anyway. āHeās like my supervisor. Iām his resident.ā
His resident.
āRight,ā Trent mutters, eyeing Jack. āCool. Soāyouāre a doctor?ā
Jack doesnāt even look at him. His eyes stay fixed on you.
āAre you hungry?ā he asks. āEllis is ordering wingsāwe can grab a menu.ā
āStarving,ā you reply, the corner of your mouth lifting slightly as you look up at him.
āGreat.ā His hand settles at your shoulder, firm but casual. āLetās get back to the others.ā
āWait,ā Trent says. āAre youāā
āIt was nice meeting you,ā you cut in, flashing him one last tight-lipped smile before Jack steers you away.
He keeps his arm around your shoulders until youāre halfway back to the booth of PTMC doctors and nurses. Only then does he pull back, clasping his hands behind his back like he needs the physical restraint.
āThanks for that,ā you murmur. āHe just wouldnāt take a hint.ā
Jack nods. āI noticed.ā
He doesnāt look at you as he turns back toward the other end of the table, toward his seat beside Robbyābecause if he did, he might not be able to leave your side. From the corner of his eye, he sees Santos reach for you, already asking what happened as she pulls you into the seat between her and McKay.
And for twenty blissful minutes, Jack feels okay. The most okay heās felt all night.
Because youāre here, at the table, talking to Santos and McKayāand not some idiot who thinks he deserves a chance with the prettiest girl in the room. In the world, according to Jack.
But only for twenty minutesābecause once you finish your drink, Santos drags you back to the bar.
Another shot. Another drink. Another guy.
Jack shifts in his chair, trying to listen to whatever it is Ellis and Mateo are arguing about, but he canāt focusānot when your hand settles lightly on this new guyās shoulder. And especially not when it slides down his bicep, flirty in a way that makes Jack want to get out of his chair.
He tells himself heās not going to. That he shouldnāt.
But the second the lights dim and the music gets louder, he pushes out of his seat.
He finds you at the edge of the dancefloor, catching your wrist before you can disappear into the crowd.
āHey,ā he says, voice raised over the music.
Your head whips around, your brows lifting slightly in that soft, expectant wayālike youāre waiting for him to say whatever it is thatās so important he had to stop you right here.
Jack clears his throat. āHave you been drinking water?ā
You frown. āUm. Not really.ā
āYou should really drink some water,ā he says, tipping his head toward the bar.
You hesitate, glancing back over your shoulder at the man waiting for you to follow him into the crowd.
Then you look back at Jack.
āUh, yeah. Okay. Water.ā
He knows he shouldnāt have done it. He knows it was stupid and petty and jealousy-drivenābut he canāt help the flicker of satisfaction when you follow him to the end of the bar with the self-serve water tower.
The music is too loud for conversationāand even if it wasnāt, heās not sure what heād say. Not when youāre looking at him like this. A little drunk. A little curious. Your brows drawn, your skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, your lips wet from the water.
God. This has the be the finest form of torture.
Because here you areāso young and so sweet, so trusting in Jack that heās just trying to look after you, when all he can think about is the fact that youāre not his. That they think youāre fair game. That every man in this room thinks he has a chance.
And the fact that heās not going to let them anywhere near you.
-
The third time Jack Abbot appears at your side, he catches your elbow just as youāre about to step out the door with a man named Leo. Not to leave the barājust for some airābut then Jack says something about Mateo buying a round of shots and guides you back inside.
You donāt mind. Not really. Especially not when a free drink is involved.
So you line up beside your coworkers and sink another shot of tequila with a grimace before Santos drags you back to the dancefloor.
The fourth time Jack Abbot intercepts you, youāre just about to start dancing with a handsome stranger Santos accidentally made you bump intoābut before you can even take the manās hand, Jack pulls you away, insisting you take a seat for a minute and drink more water.
Which, fine. Whatever.
But by the fifth interruption, youāre starting to notice a pattern.
And youāre getting a little annoyed.
āOh my God,ā Santos says, her eyes going wide as the opening notes to ABBAās Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! start blaring through the speakers. āWe have to dance. Come on!ā
You barely have time to scoop your drink up off the bar before sheās dragging you onto the dancefloorāinto the throng of warm bodies all moving to the beat beneath the single, sparkling disco ball.
The music pulses through the floor beneath your feet, the bass thrumming in your chest as Santos drags you deeper into the crowd. Somewhere between Mateoās round of shots and your tenth song on the dancefloor, your jacket disappearedāand now your dress catches the light with every movement, glittering under the shifting colours as bodies press in from all sides.
The bar is still pretty full, even if the PTMC booth has already lost a few soldiers. There are still plenty of prospectsāplenty of strangers who might offer to take you home and make you forget all about Jack Abbot. Which is still very much the plan.
If only the man himself would stop interrupting every interaction like heās doing you a favour.
At some point during the secondāor maybe thirdāchorus, Santos subtly steps away and a guy ends up in front of you. Youāre not even entirely sure how. One second youāre dancing and screaming the lyrics, the next heās thereāclose enough that you can feel the heat of him, his hands hovering like heās trying to decide where to put them.
You let it happen. Because this is what you want, right?
This is the plan.
He leans in and says something you donāt quite catch over the music, but you laugh anywayāmore out of obligation than anything else.
Then his attention shifts.
His eyes flick past you. And just like thatāhe falters.
Itās subtle, but you feel it. The hesitation. The way his body pulls back a fraction, like something just snapped him out of it.
āUhāactually,ā he mutters, already stepping away. āIāyeah. Sorry.ā
Then heās gone.
You blink, frowning slightly as you glance over your shoulder andā
Of course.
Jack Abbot, standing just beyond the edge of the dancefloor, drink in hand, eyes locked on you with a look that makes your stomach drop.
Not angry. Not exactly.
But intense. Sharp. Focused in a way that feels⦠deliberate.
You stare at him for a secondāfrustration flickering across your faceāthen turn back to Santos, who is still dancing with her vodka soda lifted in the air.
You lean in, raising your voice just enough to be heard over the music. āYour plan isnāt working!ā
She turns to face you, frowning. āWhat do you mean itās not working?ā
You stare at her. āThe plan to get me laid? Itās not working.ā
āWhy not?ā
You huff out a laugh, incredulous.
āBecause of him,ā you say, nodding toward Jack. āBecause I let him save me from one bad interaction and now heās justāhovering. Interrupting. Scaring people off.ā
Santosā mouth twitches.
āI think he thinks heās being helpful,ā you add, shaking your head. āLike heās doing me a favour or something, butāGod, Iām never going to get a stranger to take me home with a hundred-and-ninety-pound war vet glaring over my shoulder every five minutes.ā
Santos just looks at you for a secondāthen smiles. Slow. Knowing.
āAnd what part of my plan isnāt working?ā
You frown. āAre you even listening to me?ā
āI said I was going to get you laid,ā she says, lifting her drink to her lips. āI never said anything about going home with a stranger.ā
It doesnāt land straight away.
You blink at her, still frowning as you try to follow the logicābecause that doesnāt make sense, thatās not the plan. If youāre not going home with a stranger, then whoā
And then it clicks.
Your stomach drops.
āWaitāSantos,ā you start, eyes widening. āYou donāt meanāā
Santos just looks at you over the rim of her glass. Calm. Patient. Smiling faintly, like sheās been waiting for this exact moment all night.
You glance toward the side of the dancefloor againāto the man still focused on you in a way that feels far too intentional now. Arms folded, jaw set. He doesnāt even pretend to look away when you meet his stare.
āActually,ā Santos says, her hand closing around your wrist. āI think my plan is working perfectly. Now, come onāā she nods toward the booth where everyone else is, āletās play a game.ā
A game?
Before you can argue or even question it, Santos is dragging you off the dancefloor toward the booth at the back of the bar. The thrum of the music dulls the further you get from the crowd, and by the time you both slide into empty seats at the table, you no longer feel like you need to yell just to be heard.
The PTMC crew has thinned since you were last sitting here. Robby, Dana, and Donnie are gone, and McKay is holding her purse in her lap like sheād been trying to leave when Mateo cornered her with another rant about how no patient actually seems to understand the pain scale.
āAlright,ā Santos announces, picking up someoneās abandoned drink and taking a sip like she owns it, āweāre playing a game.ā
Whitaker leans forward. āA game?ā
āYes, Huckleberry. A game.ā Santos glances around the table with a lazy half-smile. āItās called Never Have I Ever.ā
Mateo snorts. āThatās a middle school sleepover game.ā
āGreat,ā Santos replies. āThen it should be easy for you.ā
Thereās a ripple of laughter around the table, but no one else seems to object.
āCan I start?ā Mohan pipes up beside Santos. āIāve got a good one.ā
Santos nods. āBe my guest.ā
Youāre not entirely sure when Jack rejoined the table, since heād been at the edge of the dancefloor just a few minutes ago, but now youāre suddenly very aware of his presence across from you. Like the few people that called it a night have unintentionally left a smaller, more intimate group behindāand now Jack Abbot is almost directly across from you while you play one of the most notorious, tension-raising middle school games of all time.
āOkay,ā Mohan says, sitting up a little straighter. āNever have I ever⦠called in sick when I wasnāt actually sick.ā
McKay laughs. Mateo groans. Almost everyone at the table lifts their drinks.
āReally?ā Santos says. āThat was your good one?ā
Mohan shrugs. āI thoughtāā
āNever mind,ā Santos cuts her off. āMy turn.ā
Her gaze moves slowly around the table before landing on you, the corner of her mouth lifting just slightly.
āNever have I ever,ā she starts slowly, āfantasised about someone else sitting at this table.ā
Your pulse jumps.
McKay snorts.
Mateo leans forward. āLike, intentionally. Orā¦?ā
Whitaker frowns. āYouāve accidentally fantasised about someone here?ā
He shrugs. āSometimes the wrong people pop up, you know?ā
Santos rolls her eyes. āOh my God. Whatever. Intentional or not.ā
Mateo nods once and lifts his drink. Javadi sinks lower in her chair as she lifts hersāand you try not to look around at the rest of the table as you bring your own up to your lips.
Beside you, McKay drops her purse to the ground and straightens, clearly invested now.
āAlright, Iāve got one,ā she says, grinning. āNever have I ever⦠faked it.ā
Javadi chokes, Santos snorts, and across from you, Jack huffs out a quiet laugh.
āNever?ā Ellis asks, eyes wide. āSo you alwaysāā
āOh, God, no,ā McKay laughs. āDefinitely not. I just refuse to fake it.ā
Laughter moves through the table again, a little louder this time, and everyone takes a second to decide whether or not to raise their drinks.
You lift yours slowly, looking anywhere but at Jack.
āOkay, my turn,ā Ellis announces, shifting in her seat. āNever have I ever⦠hooked up with someone at work.ā
The table reacts around you, a mix of laughter and quiet protest, but it all blurs at the edges when you finally glance upābecause Jack is already looking at you.
Not surprised. Not amused.
Just⦠watching.
He doesnāt laugh or say anything. He just lifts his drink, slow and deliberate.
And something sharp twists in your chest.
āWhatāve you got, Langdon?ā McKay asks, nodding at him across the table.
Langdon strokes his chin thoughtfully for a momentāthen sighs.
āAlright, I already know Iām going to get shit for this, butāā He clears his throat. āNever have I ever⦠had sex in public.ā
McKay laughs, loudly, and lifts her drink to her lips without hesitation. Ellis and Santos drink too, while Mohan laughs into her hand and Javadi sinks even lower in her chair.
Across from you, Jack sips his drink again like itās nothing.
And that sharp twist in your chest doesnāt ease.
Because of course he has. Of course there are other people. Other women.
And youā
You catch Santosā gaze from the other end of the tableāsharp, knowing, daring.
Your grip tightens slightly around your glass.
And before you can talk yourself out of itā
āOkay, my turn,ā you say lightly, sitting up a little straighter.
Everyone turns to you, but you keep your eyes fixed on your glass.
āNever have I ever,ā you say slowly, āā¦finished during sex.ā
For a secondānothing.
Then the table erupts.
āWhatānoāā Mateo is already laughing, leaning forward like he thinks youāre joking. āYouāre kidding.ā
Javadi chokes on her drink, coughing as she turns toward you. āWait, seriously?ā
āOh my God,ā McKay says, half-laughing, half-staring at you like sheās trying to figure out if youāre lying.
Langdon huffs out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. āWell⦠thatās unfortunate.ā
Whitaker just blinks at you, caught somewhere between surprised and confused, like he doesnāt quite know what to do with that information.
Santos doesnāt say anything. She just leans back in her seat, watching you over the rim of her glass with a slow, satisfied smile.
And across from youā
Jack just goes still.
Completely still.
His expression doesnāt change, but something in his eyes doesāsharp, dark, focused in a way that makes your stomach flip.
It takes you a minute to remember how to move. How to breathe. How to laugh and sip your drink and keep playing the game that doesnāt stop just because it feels like your heart did.
Eventually, everyone eases off the third-degree on your embarrassingly real confession, and Mateo pipes up next with something ridiculous that makes the table groan. Then Javadi comes out with something surprisingly rebelliousāand blushes hard when Mateo flashes her a wink.
And so it goes on.
You know it does.
You can hear itāvoices overlapping, laughter breaking out again, someone arguing over what counts, someone else swearing theyāre being misrepresentedābut it all feels⦠distant.
Like itās happening a few steps away from you instead of right here at the table. Because now, all you can focus on is Jack. On the way heās hardly moved. Hardly spoken. Hardly looked away from you.
At some point, he mutters his own confession with a small smirk and everyone laughsābut you donāt catch the words. Youāre too aware of everything else to hear them. Too aware of your pulse pounding in your ears, the thrum of the music beneath your feet, the way Jackās jaw ticks every time you glance back at him.
Another round starts. Then another.
Someone groans. Someone laughs too loud. Santos says something that earns a chorus of reactionsābut it all slips past you, unimportant, forgettable.
Time stretches. Blurs.
Your drink empties, refills, empties again.
People shift in their seats. Someone stands. Someone leaves.
Then suddenlyā
āYou ready?ā
You blink.
Santos is standing beside you, brows raised.
āReady?ā you echo.
She nods toward the door. āTime to go. Most of us have to work tomorrow.ā
You glance around at the empty table. āOh.ā
Santos is already halfway to the door by the time you gather your things and catch up to her. Youāre still pulling your jacket on as you step outside, bracing against the cool night air that nips at every inch of exposed skināwhich, in this dress, is a lot of skin.
āThe Uberās just around the corner,ā Whitaker says.
āGreat,ā Mohan mutters, hugging her jacket tighter. āIām freezing.ā
Youāre not sure if itās the alcohol or just the heat lingering beneath your skin from the way Jack had been watching you earlier, but youāre not nearly as cold as you should be.
āYou sure you donāt mind if I stay over tonight?ā Javadi asks, glancing between Santos and Whitaker.
Santos shrugs. āAs long as you donāt mind the couchāand Dr. Shamsi isnāt going to have us arrested for kidnapping.ā
Javadi lets out an awkward laugh. āUhāno. Itās totally fine. I told my dad.ā
āAre you working tomorrow?ā Whitaker asks.
Javadi shakes her head. āDay off. You?ā
Whitaker sighs. āYeah.ā
āSo am I,ā Santos adds. āAnd if I donāt get at least five hours sleep, I cannot be responsible for other peopleās lives.ā
āThatās reassuring,ā Jack mutters, almost startling you as he steps out of the bar.
He buries his hands in his pockets, hardly sparing you a glance as he steps closer to the group. Thereās a faint hitch in his stepāsomething you recognise from the waning hours of a night shift, when heās been on his feet for too long and starts to favour one leg.
āThis is us,ā Whitaker announces, nodding toward the car pulling up at the curb.
Mohan hurries forward first, yanking the door open and climbing into the back seatāand Javadi is next, flashing you a smile before she ducks in beside her. You step forwardāthen hesitate. Whitaker is already holding the front passenger door open, and Santos is standing at the curb, about to join the others in the back.
āWait.ā Your pulse jumps. āThereās too manyāā
āYouāre with Dr. Abbot,ā Santos says lightly, her mouth twitching like sheās trying not to smile.
Your stomach drops.
āIāIām what?ā
Santos shrugs. āJavadiās staying over and Mohanās place is on the way to ours. Just makes sense.ā
Then she climbs into the car, shuts the door, and rolls the window down.
āSee you tomorrow!ā
Thereās a chorus of goodbyes from the others before the car pulls away from the curbāand the cool, quiet night settles in too quickly. The only sound is the dull thrum of music from the bar, and the pounding of your pulse in your ears.
For a second, you donāt turn around. You canāt. Not now that youāre alone with him.
Thenā
āIām this way,ā he says, voice low and rough and maddeningly hot.
You nod, but donāt dare look at him as you start following the line of parked cars up the street.
The night air feels sharper now, cooler the further you get from the barāand it makes you pull into yourself, arms folded tightly while your jacket barely does anything to help.
Jack keeps an easy pace beside you, not crowding you, not touching you, but close enough that youāre aware of him anyway. Of the space he takes up at your side. Of the way he adjusts slightly so youāre walking on the inside of the path, further from the curb, without making a thing of it.
Neither of you says anything.
Itās not awkward. Itās just⦠quiet in a way that feels heavy, like the silence is holding onto everything that happened inside instead of letting it go.
Your heels click unevenly against the pavement, catching slightly every few steps, and youāre suddenly, painfully aware of everythingāthe way your dress shifts as you move, the cool air against your skin, the way your pulse hasnāt quite settled.
You feel too sober. Too aware.
When his car finally comes into view, he moves ahead of you just slightlyājust enough to reach the passenger door first and hold it open.
God. Heās so annoyingly considerate.
You give him a small, tight smile before climbing into the passenger seat.
The car is still warm, still holding onto the heat from earlier in the day, and it smells like him in a way thatās subtle but unmistakableāclean, familiar, something faintly sharp beneath it that you canāt quite place but instantly recognise. The seat gives slightly beneath you, softer than you expect, and for a second you just sit there, hands hovering like youāre not entirely sure where to put them.
Itās his.
All of it.
The way everything is exactly where it should be, nothing out of place. The faint scuff on the console. A pair of sunglasses tucked neatly into the centre compartment. His backpack thrown into the back seat like heād discarded it in a hurry and never thought about it again.
The sound of the driverās side door opening almost startles you.
You drop your hands into your lap, shifting slightly and smoothing your dress down over your thighs like that might ground you somehow.
The car immediately feels smaller when Jack climbs in. More intimate. Closer in a way thatās almost stifling.
You keep your eyes fixed out the windshield.
Waiting.
For the engine to start. For the car to move.
But nothing happens.
The silence stretches, thick and suffocating, settling into every inch of the space between you.
And thenā
āYou canāt say shit like that around me.ā
You blink, finally turning toward himāand regretting it immediately. Heās so irritatingly handsome, so annoyingly gorgeous in a way that makes you want to be stupid and reckless and climb across the console into his lap.
āSay what?ā you ask, your voice embarrassingly thin.
He looks at youānot fully, just turning his head slightly.
āYou know what,ā he says, his voice low and rough with something that sounds a little too close to control slipping.
And you do.
You know exactly what he means.
But before you can say anything else, he turns the key and the engine rumbles to life. The radio crackles a little before some late-night news station fills the silenceāand he doesnāt move to turn it off, doesnāt even turn it down. He just drives.
The radio reporterās voice hums through the car like white noise, talking about something youāre not really listening to as you try to focus on keeping your breathing even.
You can still hear his voice.
You canāt say shit like that around me.
The way he said it. Low. Controlled. Like it cost him something to keep it that way.
Your fingers shift slightly in your lap, smoothing over the fabric of your dress again without thinking, and your mind starts turning his words over before you can stop itāpulling at them, testing them, trying to make them mean something that makes sense.
Because what does that even mean?
You glance at him, quick, like you might catch something you missedābut heās focused on the road, jaw set, one hand loose on the wheel like nothing happened. Like he didnāt just change everything with eight little words.
You look away again.
No. He didnāt mean it like that.
Heās justāheās your attending. Heās responsible. Of course heād say something. Of course heādā
Except he didnāt say it like that.
Your stomach tightens as your thoughts circle back, slower this time, more deliberate.
The way he kept pulling you away from people tonight. The way heād been watching you. The way he didnāt laugh, didnāt joke, didnāt let it go.
The way he said it.
Around me.
Not here. Not in front of people.
Around me.
Your breath catches slightly, and you shift in your seat, suddenly very aware of the space between youāof how close he is, of how easy it would be to just turn your head, lean in andā
No.
No, thatās notā
You swallow, gaze fixed stubbornly ahead.
Youāre just reading into it. You have to be.
Because the alternativeā
Your pulse jumps.
God. The alternative is too much to even consider.
But the thought lingers anyway.
It settles in the back of your mind, quieter now, but heavierāpulling at everything he said, everything he did, everything you might have missed until now. The words circle back, sharper this timeāuntilā
The car stopsāand you blink.
For a moment, you donāt move. You canāt.
Then Jack clears his throat.
āOhāuhāthanks,ā you mutter, reaching for your seatbelt buckle.
He nods once. āAnytime.ā
You push your door open before you can think too hard about it, stepping out into the cool night air that hits a little harder this time. Your heart is still beating in your throat, your pulse still too loud, your thoughts are still circling those eight wordsāeight little words that feel like they weigh far more than they should.
You hesitateāone hand on the door, the other gripping your keys in your jacket pocket.
God.
This is stupid.
This is reckless.
This isā
āDo youāā You clear your throat, the words catching slightly before you force them out. āDo you want to come up?ā
He stares at you for a second, then lets out a short, disbelieving breath, like heās not quite sure he heard you right.
āYou canāt be serious.ā
Heat rushes up your neck, quick and unwelcome, and for a second you just stand there, wishing you could take it backārewind a few seconds and keep your mouth shut.
What the hell were you thinking?
āYeah,ā you say, a little too quickly. āNo, that wasāthat was stupid.ā
You turn away before he can say anything else, pushing the door shut harder than you mean to as you step back onto the sidewalk. You donāt look back. You refuse to. You just keep walking toward the lobby door, drawing your keys from your pocket and fumbling through them to find the right one.
It takes longer than it should, but eventually you find the lobby key and wriggle it into the lock.
This door has never been your friend. Itās old, a little rusted, and the lock has always been jankyābut now your hands are shaking, and this stupid old door seems to think thatās funny, because it wonāt budge.
You jiggle the key and try again, but nothing changes.
Thenā
āHere.ā
His voice is low. Close.
Your hand stills as he steps in behind you, not touching, but close enough that you can feel the heat of him at your backāthe solid line of his chest just shy of pressing into you as he reaches past your shoulder.
His fingers brush yours as he takes the keyāand the lock turns easily this time.
Of course it does. Traitorous fucking door.
His arm lingers there for a second longer than it needs toāthen he pushes the door open.
You donāt even glance at him as you step inside, already turning back to grab your key before the door swings shutābut heās still holding it, barely a step behind you.
He tilts his head slightly, nodding toward the lobby. āGo.ā
Itās quiet. Controlled.
Not a suggestion.
Your breath catches, just for a second, and you hesitateālong enough to feel it, whatever this is, tightening between youā
Then you turn and keep walking.
And he follows.
He follows you across the lobby, up the fire stairs, down the corridor, all the way to your apartment door. He stands a little closer than necessary as you unlock itāalmost like he doesnāt think you know how doors work nowābut the key turns smoothly this time.
You push the door open and step inside.
The apartment is quiet, dim, and you shrug out of your jacket without thinking. You can feel him watching you as you drape it over the arm of the sofa, and itās a little... thrilling. Dangerous. Because Jack Abbot is in your goddamn apartment right now, looking at you like heās a man on the edgeā
And youāre daring him to jump.
āDrink?ā you offer, keeping your voice lightāinnocent.
He clears his throat. āWater, please.ā
You canāt help the small smirk on your lips as you brush past him, a little closer than necessary.
āSo polite,ā you murmur.
He doesnāt move, doesnāt shiftābut you can feel him there, tense just beneath the surface.
You open the fridge and bend over to grab a bottle of water, letting your dress ride up the backs of your thighs in a way thatās totally unnecessary. Jack clears his throat again, just a little too sharp, and when you glance back toward him, heās turned away completely.
You press your lips together to keep from smiling too wide as you straighten again.
āHere,ā you say, stepping toward him and holding the water out.
He turns hesitantly, taking it. āThank you.ā
Your eyes catch his, a slow smile tugging at your lips before you bite the corner gently, just enough for him to notice. He looks away quickly, jaw tightening as he focuses on uncapping the water bottle.
You brush past him again, still a little too close, and move toward the sofa, dropping onto it and leaning forward to take off your shoes.
Jack takes a long swig of water, then clears his throat for the third time.
āAre you working tomorrow?ā he asks.
You glance up, still leaned forward, and itās hard not to notice the way his eyes dip from your face.
āIsnāt that something you should already know?ā
The corner of his mouth twitches, like he canāt quite help himself.
āYouāre impossible. You know that?ā
Heat rushes up your neck at the way he says itāshort, sharp, loadedāand you bite back a grin, letting your eyes glint just a little as you straighten.
āAm I?ā you murmur, tilting your head just slightly. āOnly one way to find out.ā
He freezes for a second, shoulders tight, hand curling slightly around the water bottleāand it crackles softly under his grip. His breath hitches, just barely.
āI should go,ā he mutters, voice low and clipped.
He takes a step toward the doorāand you shoot up from the sofa, heartbeat racing.
āWaitāuhābefore you go,ā you say, stepping toward him, ācould you help me with something?ā
He hesitates, turning slowly, as if every second in here is costing him something.
You move until youāre almost between him and the door, looking up at him through your lashes.
āCould you help me out of my dress?ā
The second the words leave your lips, you forget how to breathe.
Jackās jaw tightens, his shoulders coiling ever so slightly. His fingers twitch around the bottle, just a whisper of movement, as if holding himself together by force. His eyes catch yours, dark and sharp, taking in the faint scrunch between your brows, the small pout on your lips, the way youāre offering him something he never thought heād be allowed to have.
He nods onceācareful, controlledābut the tension radiating off him is almost unbearable.
Your stomach flips.
Without a word, you turn, sweeping your hair out of the way while your pulse hammers in your ears.
You feel him shift, his warmth, and the ghost of his touch at the nape of your neck. And that first, tiny contact sends a shock straight through youāhot, sharp, impossible to ignore.
He pauses, just a heartbeat, and you catch the tiniest hitch in his breath.
Then he moves again, slow, deliberate, dragging the zipper down almost painfully slow, his knuckles grazing your skināwarm, rough, controlled, just enough to make your heart pound in your throat.
āHow do you do it?ā you whisper, voice catching slightly. āHow are you always so⦠unaffected by everything?ā
āUnaffected?ā he murmurs, almost tasting the word, as if testing it against himself.
His knuckles brush the small of your back, pausing where the zipper endsābut he doesnāt stop. His fingertips graze your skin, deliberate, teasing, tracing the line of your spine upward again, slow enough that it drags your breath with it, sharp enough that heat blooms through every nerve.
āYou have no idea,ā he whispers, voice low and rough, almost breaking, āhow much you affect me.ā
Your breath catches, sharp and sudden. Everything in your chest pulls tight, something hot and dizzying blooming low as his words sink in.
You turn before you can stop yourselfāand heās closer now. Close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the shift of his breath, the space between you narrowing into something fragile and dangerous.
For a second, neither of you move.
And then his hand finds your neckā
Not rough, not rushedājust firm enough to anchor you there, thumb pressing under your jaw like he needs to feel that this is real, that youāre real. His other hand tightens where it still holds the loosened fabric of your dress at your back, fingers curling into it like restraint is slipping through his grip.
He hesitates, just for a breath. Like heās giving himself one last chance to walk away.
Then he kisses you.
Itās not tentative. Thereās nothing careful about it. It lands like something heās been holding back for too long, all that control finally snapping under the weight of you standing here, asking for him, looking at him like that.
His mouth is warm and certain against yours, a sharp inhale breaking through you as you lean into him without thinking, your hands finding him just as quicklyāhis stomach, his chestāanything to hold onto as the world tilts. He makes a low sound, barely there, but you feel it more than you hear it, the vibration settling deep in your chest as his grip tightens.
You melt before you can stop yourself.
Your head tilts back, giving him more, and he takes it immediately, deepening the kiss with that same quiet intensity that steals the breath right out of you. His thumb shifts along your jaw, not lingering, just enough to guide you where he wants you, and the control of itāGod, the way he still tries to control it after everything, after all that restraintāmakes something in your stomach flip hard.
His hand at your back slips under the loosened zipper, fingers pressing into your bare skin now, warm and steady, but thereās tension in it. You can feel it in the way his grip flexes, like heās still tryingāstillāto hold the line even as he pulls you closer.
It doesnāt work.
Not when you press into him like this, not when your fingers curl tighter in his shirt, not when you kiss him back without hesitation, without thinking about consequences or lines or anything except how he feels against you.
He exhales against your mouth, sharp, like youāve just undone him, and for a second the kiss faltersānot because heās pulling away, but because heās trying to.
You feel it. The conflict. The split second where he almost stops.
Your hand slides up to his jaw, fingers catching there, holding him in place before he can even try.
āDonāt,ā you whisper, barely pulling back, your lips brushing his as you speak.
And something in him gives.
You see it in the way his eyes darken, in the way his hand tightens at your back, pulling you flush against him this time, the last inch of space gone like it was never allowed to exist in the first place.
When he kisses you again, itās deeper.
Less restrained.
Like heās finally stopped pretending this isnāt exactly what he wants.
Itās different nowāharder, hungrier, like something in him has shifted for good. His hand slides from your jaw to your waist, gripping tight as he steps into you, crowding you back without breaking the kiss, without giving you a second to think.
Your back meets the door with a soft thud.
He doesnāt stop.
If anything, it only makes him sharper, more certain, his mouth moving against yours with a kind of urgency that steals the air right out of your lungs. You barely get a breath before he takes it again, and you let himāGod, you let himātilting into him, giving him everything he reaches for.
His hand tightens at your waist, then slips lower, dragging you flush against him again, like he needs to feel exactly how close he can get before he loses control completely.
And you can feel itāhow close he is.
Itās in the way his grip flexes, in the way his breath turns uneven against your mouth, in the way the kiss keeps deepening like he canāt quite stop himself from taking more.
Your fingers find his shirt again, pulling him closer, and he breaks the kiss just long enough to drag in a breath, his forehead almost brushing yours, like heās tryingāone last timeāto get a handle on this.
He doesnāt.
His hands are on you again, immediate, sliding up your sides, pushing the straps of your dress from your shoulders in one smooth, decisive motion. The fabric gives easily, slipping under his hands like it was never meant to stay there in the first placeāand it falls to the floor, pooling at your feet.
His breath catches, and his gaze dropsājust for a second, but itās enough.
āTell me to stop,ā he says, voice low, roughānothing steady about it now.
You meet his eyes, chest rising and falling fast, heat still sparking under your skin.
āBedroom,ā you murmur.
For a second, he just looks at you.
Something in his expression shiftsātightensālike that word landed exactly where it shouldnāt. His gaze searches yours for a moment, checking for hesitation, for doubt.
But he doesnāt find any.
He nods onceāand you turn, already moving toward the bedroom. You can feel him right behind you, close enough that his hand finds your waist again before youāve even taken two steps, steady, grounding, like heās not about to let you get too far ahead of him.
Itās barely a walk.
More like being guidedāpulledāacross the apartment toward your room, your pulse loud in your ears, every step charged with the knowledge of what youāve just set in motion.
The door barely makes it closed before heās on you again.
Not rushedānever rushedābut certain, like the decision has already been made and thereās no point pretending otherwise. His hands find you first, steady at your waist, turning you back toward him before you can take another step into the room.
Your breath catches as you look up at him. Thereās something in his expression youāve never seen before. Itās not soft, not gentleājust stripped of whatever distance heād been holding onto all night.
Gone.
His gaze drags over you, slow and deliberate, and this time thereās nothing in the way of itānothing to hide behind, nothing to buffer itāand the heat in it settles low in your stomach, heavy and immediate.
āStill want this?ā he asks, voice rough, quieter nowābut it lands heavier here.
You donāt answer. You just step into him.
And itās all the permission he needs.
His hand tightens at your waist as he pulls you back into him, and the kiss this time is slower, deeper in a way that feels intentionalālike heās choosing it, not chasing it. His mouth moves against yours with a kind of controlled hunger, every shift measured, every breath deliberate, like heās letting himself feel it fully instead of fighting it.
Your fingers curl into his shirt, and he exhales against your mouth, something unsteady finally breaking through.
His grip shiftsāfirmer nowāguiding you back a step, then another, not hurried, not careless, but unrelenting all the same. You feel the edge of the bed behind your knees before you fully register moving at all, your focus too caught in the way heās kissing you, the way his hand anchors you like heās not about to let this get away from him.
His mouth breaks from yours just long enough to draw in a breath, his forehead pressing briefly to yours.
Not hesitation. Control.
Or what little he has left of it.
āLast chance,ā he murmurs, quieter now.
You drop back onto the bed, gaze locked on his, breath still uneven.
āIām not the one holding back.ā
You barely have time to move up the mattress before heās there, crowding over you, hands braced on either side as he follows you down. The mattress dips under his weight, the space between you gone in an instantāreplaced by the solid heat of him, the firm press of his hips against yours.
His mouth finds yours again, hot and insistent, teeth catching your bottom lip just enough to pull a soft sound from youābut itās different now. Slower. Not restrained, but deliberate. Curious, almost.
Like heās learning you.
The way you react. The way you move under him. The way you give.
Your hands slide up his chest, fingertips digging in as heat coils low in your stomachābut they donāt stay there long. He shifts his weight slightly, steady, controlled, one hand lifting off the mattress to catch your wrist.
His fingers close around itānot tight, not forcefulājust certain, guiding.
He lifts your hand above your head.
āJack,ā you whisper. āIāā
He shushes you.
āLet me do this, okay?ā His voice is rough, thick with something unsteady beneath itāsomething that makes your stomach knot. āIāve got you.ā
And you believe him.
His hand slides down your body, slow and sure, brushing over your chest, your waist, the curve of your hipāeach touch deliberate, like heās taking his time even now, even like this. His fingers hook at the inside of your thigh, grip firm as he nudges your leg wider.
āThatās it,ā he murmurs. āGood girl.ā
The words go straight through you.
You can already feel the damp heat between your legs, the slick fabric pressed close, but the way he says itāthe way his voice dropsāmakes your hips shift up instinctively, chasing something you canāt quite reach.
Chasing him.
And he notices. Of course he does.
You only just catch the faint lift at the corner of his mouth before his lips are back on yours, swallowing the breath from you as your back arches, pressing yourself up into him without thinking. Your fingers curl into the sheets above your head, tension pulling tight through your body as everything narrows down to where heās touching youāwhere he isnāt touching you.
His hand drags back up your thigh, slower this time. Intentional. And when his fingers finally press against you through the thin fabric, you gasp.
He takes the sound from you immediately, mouth moving against yours, deeper now, like heās feeding off it, like every reaction just pushes him further. His fingers start to moveāslow, circling, testingāwhile his mouth leaves yours to trail along your jaw, your cheek, the side of your neck.
With your mouth free, the sounds slip out before you can stop them.
Soft. Unsteady. Needy.
And he loves it.
You feel it in the way his breath shifts, in the way his grip tightens just slightly, in the way his hips rockāslow, controlled, a subtle pressure of denim thatās more suggestion than friction.
āJackāā your voice catches, breaking on his name. āPlease. I wantāā
āTell me, sweetheart,ā he murmurs, mouth brushing your shoulder, voice low and coaxing.
āMore,ā you manage, breath shaking. āNeed more.ā
He groans against your skin, the sound low and rough, his body settling heavier over yours like any space between you is something he canāt stand.
Then his hand shifts.
Your breath catches as his fingers slide beneath the damp fabric, dragging through your wet heat in one slow, deliberate stroke.
Your whole body jolts. āFuckāJackāā
The reaction pulls something from himāa sharp inhale against your neck, his mouth pressing there like he needs to ground himself for a second before he loses it completely.
Youāve never felt like this before. Never this hot, this open, this aware of every inch of your own body.
And youāve never wanted anyone like this before.
āGod,ā he murmurs, voice thick, lips tracing back up your throat. āYouāre so wet for me, sweetheart.ā
All you can do is nod, whimpering softly, your hips lifting without permission, chasing him, asking for more without the wordsāand he gives it to you. Of course he does.
His finger slides inside you, slow at first, letting you feel itāthe stretch, the heatābefore he pushes deeper, and the sound that breaks from you is swallowed instantly as his mouth finds yours again, your back arching beneath him as he starts to move. Not fast. Never fast. He sets a rhythm instead, steady and controlled, curling his finger just enough to make your breath catch, just enough to make your hips move against him again.
And when you press into it, when your body starts to chase that feeling properly, he adds another finger, the stretch pulling a broken sound from your throat as your hands tighten in the sheets and your body rolls beneath him, helpless to it now, completely caught in the slow, deliberate way he works you open.
Every movement is intentional. Every curl hits deeper, sharper, building something tight and aching low in your stomach that makes your whole body tremble, your breath coming out in uneven gasps as you press into his hand, chasing, needing.
Then his thumb finds your clit, and the contact is immediateādevastating.
You cry out, sharp and breathless, your whole body tightening as he starts slow, deliberate circles that send heat spiralling through you, your hips lifting again, desperate now, unable to stay still under him.
āThatās it, sweetheart,ā he murmurs, voice rough, barely steady. āFeels good, doesnāt it?ā
You canāt answerānot when his mouth is everywhere, your throat, your jaw, the corner of your mouth, like he canāt decide where he wants you most before he finds your lips again, and this time the kiss is different again. Hungrier. Messier. His tongue presses into your mouth just as his fingers push deeper, his thumb working harder, more deliberate now, and the moan that tears from you is swallowed whole.
āPlease,ā you whimper against his mouth, breath breaking. āPlease, Iāneed you.ā
He lifts his head, dark eyes searching yours, brows pulling together just slightly.
āYou sure?ā
You stare at him, trying not to whimper as your whole body clenches around his stilled fingers, the sudden stillness almost worse than anything he was doing before.
āNever have I ever finished during sex, remember?ā you manage, breathless but steady enough to land. āYou gonna fix that, or what?ā
Something feral flickers across his face.
And then itās goneāreplaced by something heavier. Something decided.
He kisses you again before you can catch your breath, all teeth and tongue, the restraint heās been clinging to snapping clean in half as he groans into your mouth, the sound dragged straight from his chest. You feel the loss of his fingers immediately, your body protesting it, but itās replaced just as quickly by the slow, deliberate roll of his hips, the friction of denim against your soaked panties making you gasp against him.
āFuck,ā he breathes, like he canāt quite believe it.
He pulls back just enough to shift, bracing himself on one arm while the other moves to his belt, not rushed but far from steady now. Thereās a hitch in his breath, a tension in the way his fingers work at it, shoving his jeans and briefs down just enough to free himself, and your gaze drops before you can stop it.
Heās already hardāfully, heavilyāflushed and slick at the tip, and the sight of it sends a sharp pulse of heat straight through you, your mouth going dry even as your body reacts in the complete opposite way.
āFuckāā he chokes, the word breaking out of him. āI havenāt been this hard ināā His eyes flick back up to yours, dark and molten, and whatever he was going to say changes. āāever.ā
It hits you low and deep, twisting something tight in your stomach that makes your hips shift under him without thinking. You finally let go of the sheets, your hands finding him, sliding up to wrap around his neck as you pull him back down, needing him closer, needing him everywhere.
Your legs come up around his waist, drawing him in, urging him forward, and his breath stutters as he presses in, his swollen tip dragging against the damp fabric between you. The contact is just enough to make your head fall back, a broken sound slipping from your throat as he triesātriesāto hold himself up, one arm braced, the other moving between you.
You can feel the strain in him now, the way everything is slipping in real time, in the slight shake of his arm, in the uneven rhythm of his breathing as his hand hooks into the waistband of your panties.
āIāll buy you new ones,ā he murmurs against your mouth, voice rough, almost distracted, like the thought barely registers before itās gone. āPromise.ā
And then the fabric gives.
The sound of it tearingāsharp, suddenāgoes straight through you, your breath catching hard as he pulls the fabric out of the way, the last barrier gone in an instant.
It shouldnāt be as hot as it is.
But it is.
Jack Abbotācontrolled, composed, always holding the lineālosing it enough to rip your panties off you?
Fuck.
He sinks into you in one steady thrust, and both of you gasp at the stretchāthe sudden, overwhelming closeness, the way want crashes hot and heavy between you. Your pulse hammers in your ears, that dizzy edge of fear and urgency tangling together until all you can think is himāhere, now, inside you.
For a moment, you just breatheāpant, reallyāeyes squeezed shut, hands locked on his shoulders as your body clenches around him, like youāre trying to keep him right there, like you never want to let him go. He drops his head to your neck, breath hot against your damp skin, and you feel the way it shakes out of him.
āYouāfuckāyouāre so tight, sweetheart,ā he pants, voice rough and muffled where his mouth presses into you. āIām not gonna lastāā
āThen donāt,ā you murmur, your voice softer but no less certain. āJust fuck me. Please, Jack.ā
A groan tears out of him, low and wrecked, and you feel it through his chest as he shifts above you, hips pulling back, his cock dragging against your walls in a way that makes your stomach coil tight, sparks chasing across your skin. You suck in a sharp breath, your grip tightening on himāand before you can brace, he drives forward again, deeper this time.
āFuckāā you cry out, the sound breaking loose without warning. āJackāā
He doesnāt stop. His hips roll back again, slower now, controlled in a way that almost makes it worse, his head lifting so he can look at you, really look at you, like heās checking, like he needs to see it.
āYou ready, sweetheart?ā he asks, voice low, rough, barely holding together.
The anticipation coils tighter in your chest, sharp and electric, lighting up every nerve in your body until it almost hurts.
āMhm,ā you manage, breath unsteady, nodding as your arms wind tighter around his neck, pulling him closer, needing him closer, like it still isnāt enough.
For a secondājust a secondāyouāre distracted by something stupid, the feel of his shirt between you, the barrier of it, the way you want it gone, want skin on skin, want to see him, feel him, all of himā
And then he thrusts forward again. Harder again. And the thought disappears completely.
Your body jolts beneath him, every movement knocking the breath from your lungs, and the sound that leaves you is loudātoo loudāechoing back off the walls in a way that would make you self-conscious any other time.
But not now.
Right now, you donāt care who hears. Not when it feels like this.
His name spills from your lips in broken gasps, tangled with raw cries, and he answers with a rough sound against your shoulder, biting it back as his hips drive into you at a relentless pace. Heās barely holding himself up now, his weight pressing into you in a way that feels like too much and somehow still not enough, the strain in him obvious in every uneven breath, every sharp exhale against your skin.
His hand drags down your side, back to your thigh, fingers digging in as he pushes your leg wider, and the shiftāsmall as it isāhits something deeper, sharper, your vision flashing white as your head tips back and the knot in your belly pulls tight. His grip slides to your hip, anchoring you there, holding you in place so every thrust lands exactly where it needs to, deep and unrelenting, the sound of it filling the room, wet and rhythmic and impossible to ignore beneath the broken sounds youāre both making.
And then his hand moves between you.
You feel it immediatelyāthe change, the focusāas his fingers find your clit in the slick mess between your bodies, steady despite everything else, despite the way heās losing himself in every way. Your back arches, breath catching sharp as his touch turns deliberate, circling, pressing, coaxing, sending jolts of sensation straight through you until itās too much, not enough, everything all at once.
āJackāā you whine, the sound falling apart as soon as it leaves you. āFuck, Iāā
āI know, sweetheart,ā he mutters against your jaw, voice wrecked. āCome on my cock, yeah?ā
Your hips lift to meet him without thinking, chasing the rhythm heās set, chasing the pressure, the friction, the way heās working you with a precision that feels almost cruel now. His hand doesnāt falter, his fingers moving with intent, building and building, every touch sending sharp bursts of pleasure up your spine as the tension in your stomach pulls tighter, tighter, until it feels like it might snap.
Itās never felt like this before. Youāve never felt like this before.
Your whole body tightens, back arching, legs trembling around him as your hips grind up against his, desperate, chasing something you canāt hold onto. He keeps hitting that same spot, again and again, relentless, his pace rougher now, less controlled, while his fingers stay locked on you, steady, practiced, pushing you right to the edge and holding you there.
You cry out, the sound raw, breaking from your chest as everything finally tips.
The release hits all at onceāsharp, overwhelming, tearing through you in a rush that steals your breath and leaves nothing behind but heat and tension snapping loose. Your body locks up around him, tightening, pulsing, your hands gripping at him as your legs shake, your hips still moving against his like you canāt stop, like you donāt want to.
āFuck,ā he groans, burying his face in your neck, his voice wrecked as he keeps moving inside youāslower now, but deeper, like heās chasing every last pulse of you, like he doesnāt want to miss a second of it. āThatās it. Thatās my girl.ā
His rhythm falters, hips stuttering, and then he loses it completelyāa broken sound tearing from him as he drives into you one last time, deep and hard, spilling inside you as his whole body tenses, shuddering above yours.
You feel itāevery part of itāthe way he comes undone, the way he clings to you through it, like he needs something to hold onto just as much as you do. Your bodies keep moving together, slower now, instinctive, chasing the last fading edges of it as your breathing stays uneven, your chests rising and falling in sync, skin slick and overheated where youāre pressed together.
It takes a moment to come back downāa long one.
But eventually, the tension drains from him and he collapses almost fully above you, face buried into your shoulder, his weight heavy and grounding as he exhales, slow and spent. It makes it a little harder to breatheābut you donāt mind.
Not when you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, strong and real, still racing like yours.
-
For the first time in two weeks, Jack Abbot isnāt stupidly early for his shift. He couldnāt be, really. Because heād woken up late this morning, limbs tangled with yours in warm sheets that smelled so much like you it made his head spināand that had thrown off everything else he needed to get done today.
If it was up to him, he wouldnāt have left at allābut he had to. He had police paperwork to finish, a neighbourās cat to feed, and sleep he shouldāve caught up on before being back in charge of an entire emergency department for twelve hours. But on the bright side? He knows you have a swing shift today, which means he doesnāt need to be early to see you, because youāre going to be stuck at PTMC until at least ten p.m. tonight.
With him.
And he really shouldnāt be looking forward to that as much as he is.
āAfternoon, Dr. Abbot,ā Dana says, glancing over the top of her glasses. āWasnāt sure weād see you today. Arenāt you usually here by now?ā
āIām on time,ā Jack mutters. āIām a busy man.ā
Dana hums, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly as her eyes drop back down to the tablet in her hands.
Jack tries not to appear too conspicuous as he scans the department, glancing toward the trauma bays and South corridor as he passes the nursesā station. He shouldnāt be this anxious to see you againānot in the apprehensive kind of way, but in the way that makes it feel like his lungs wonāt quite fill until youāre near him again.
āSheās not here,ā Dana says without looking up from her chart. āWasnāt feeling well, so Ellis came in early.ā
Jack spots Ellis across central, exiting one of the rooms with Santos at her side, and he opens his mouth to say somethingādefend himself, maybe, lie about what or who he was looking forābut he hesitates, unsure what he could say that wouldnāt incriminate him further.
So instead, he just drops his head and keeps walking, fumbling for his phone in his pocket.
Heād seen you this morning. Just this morning. You were sleepy, had a headache, so he got you water and Tylenol and kissed you before he leftābut you hadnāt said anything about feeling so unwell you were going to call in sick.
Jack doesnāt stop until he reaches the lockers, then turns back to survey the ED one last time before leaning a shoulder against the wall and pulling up his text thread with you. He hadnāt texted you today because he knew heād see you tonight and didnāt want to seem⦠overbearing. Even now, heās not sure if he shouldābut he feels off in a way he hasnāt in years, like heās waiting on something he canāt control and itās making him feel sick.
What if last night hadnāt meant what he thought it did? What if you regretted it? What if it was justā
āHey, kid,ā Dana calls from the nursesā station. āBig night?ā
Jackās head snaps upāand there you are.
The relief hits before he can stop it, sharp and instant, loosening something in his chest he hadnāt realised was wound so tight. He swallows it down just as quickly, his expression settling before anyone can clock it.
āYou donāt know the half of it,ā you mutter.
Dana huffs a short laugh. āI have a feeling I donāt want to know.ā
Jack canāt help but watch as you cross the floor toward him, your backpack hanging from one shoulder while the other hand presses two fingers to your temple, like you could massage the headache away. Thereās a smug little smile on your lips when you reach him, slowing your steps until you pause just beside himānot too close, but enough to make his breath catch.
You glance down at his phone, at the open message thread where his thumb is hovering, and your smirk curves a little higher.
āMiss me?ā
Jack locks his phone and tucks it back into his pocket.
āThought you were sick.ā
You lift one shoulder. āA little hungover, so Ellis swapped with me.ā
For a second, neither of you move. He just looks at youāand you look right back, like you both know exactly whatās changed, even if neither of you is about to say it out loud. Not here. Not now.
āAnd I missed the night shift attending,ā you say finally.
Thenābefore he can respond, before heās even fully processed what you saidāyou lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek. Only brief. Barely anything.
But it feels like everything.
And just like that, Jack Abbot is done pretending he isnāt yours.
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