Depression talk
How does the ending of a series affect someone with depression? Actually i can say now: a lot. Two of my personal favorites just ended and i am devastated, sitting at home feeling nothing but loneliness and somehow numb. âYou're overreactingâ âyou're way too emotional about this. It's just fictionâ no one really seems to understand what exactly is going on in someone's mind in this moment. Because for us,as someone being really depressed it's more than just a show, those characters were always there for us, cheered us up. And we cried with them, laughed with them maybe even identifying with a certain character. And especially in this moment the end is hitting hard. You're never gonna see your favorite character again, there will be nothing new and the story is over. To top that i actually just found out how horrible on top it is if the ends actually aren't satisfying, like the person you felt most with being backstabbed by their love or even worse everyone suffering cause the new found friend and love doesn't remember anyone anymore. Those unsatisfying endings cause even more sadness and depression flooding over yourself since you always just want the best for your characters, loving them as you would love a friend you want an happy end. Instead you have them dead or worse feeling emptiness all their life. An emptiness the depressed ones know way to well and don't wish for anyone else. So after crying because of it being over but also being mad and sad and disappointed over the ending you just find yourself feeling empty and powerless. Not knowing what to do with your life while also having the urge to do something to cope the sad ending but not being able to start anything. Yes of course you could just re watch but why would someone do that just to be disappointed again? So you're trying to reach out to others that might feel the same thanks to the anonymity of the internet but slowly realizing that this is causing even more anxiety. This is when i for myself decided to rewatch the finales to get used to it and maybe find satisfaction. Spoiler alert it didn't work. In fact i made it not even through the first 10 minutes without feeling like someone is squishing my chest, giving me a hell of anxiety. So you decide to listen to music (which ends in sad music and crying which doesn't help. In my case: a lot of nothing more since their lyrics about being misunderstood but also some sort of hopeful thoughts are just perfect for this, if there is no soundtrack of the show which will definitely make you cry) or watching youtube which mostly ends up in watching making off's or best off's of the show which makes you even more depressed. I actually just found a way to top that: just find yourself a youtuber which you absolutely identify with(which means them also somehow being depressed but having it made through that) and make them watch the show feeling exactly as you do, then have them talk about it in a stream, being just as broken as you are and voila, everyone you've looked up to is feeling miserable including you. On top people keep commenting on how they don't get your actions and many more mean stuff. So i'm just here to try and reach out to all the people that might just feel the same about endings: you're not alone and there are many people feeling the same. I can't tell you if this loneliness and emptiness but also feeling like you need to do something to continue life which does not work cause your unable to start something will fade away eventually, but i'll tell you as soon as i know. Lots of love to everyone understanding and feeling the same. Feel free to share your tips on how to get through this. We can do this.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk