Full disclosure: I'm an asshole.

she/her/whatever.. I've always known better but I'm finally old enough not to care. I have a TON of over 18 shit here, so keep that in mind.. reblogs are random AS HELL.. I am a VERY unreliable tagger (I rarely tag anything) - × - one day I WILL write the story bouncing around in my head.. maybe 🤘🏼

[jungwildeandfree]

so this guy right he makes ancient egyptian themed furry costumes. he makes all kinds but mostly he specializes in Horus heads. it's his passion really. he loves to make the beautiful falcon head of the Sun God. anyway so he's at a con one day and he sees this whole bunch of people in middle kingdom dress with these indistinguishable animal heads. he's like. oh man these folks could really use a new source, i can hardly tell what animal those are! so he goes over and he says "hey guys! i see you are into ancient egyptian mythological themed furry costumes--if any of you are interested in being the radiant Son of Ra, I am the BEST in the business!"

and the group of people look at each other, then at him. awkward. finally one of them says: "uh. no thanks. we're all Set."

[s-cullayy]

[thatlittleegyptologist]

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

[datundit]

I think every laugh will make OP’s heart a bit lighter.

@thatlittleegyptologist

Judge OP’s heart

I laughed, I lighten his heart.

His heart shall be heavier for this.

Voting ended onMar 1

[sunbentshadows]

[dimaiv-nov]

black 🕷️ widow [commission info]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

wattpad really gave ao3 a huge free promo with their new policy update that makes things even worse for their users. so to all the people who are now moving to ao3 due to this…

welcome! here are what you need to know about ao3 and how it’s the complete opposite of wattpad

trigger warning for the mention of contents that are allowed on ao3 that can be triggering to some.

ao3 is a non-profit organization. it’s run by fans (people like you and me), for fans.

fans donate to the site on their own free will to keep the site up and running smoothly.

ao3 is not a social media. it is an archive.

ao3 doesn’t have ads. it doesn’t have algorithms. it doesn’t have “going viral.”

everything is endlessly free on ao3. there is no “ao3 premium.” you will never see a single ad on ao3, and you can download as many fics as you want to read offline for free.

ao3 doesn’t have an app. and ao3 doesn’t need an app. any “ao3 apps” you see are third-party apps and are not affiliated with ao3, so be careful giving these shady apps your login infos or other personal information.

ao3 was built with the main purpose to 1.) be completely against censorship and 2.) host fics that are banned on other platforms like wattpad.

the reason ao3 doesn’t have an app is because for it to have its own app, appstore and google play store will have to approve it first. and due to the contents ao3 allow, chances are that it won’t get approved. which is actually a good thing. it doesn’t need an app. it works more than fine without an app.

on ao3, every single thing is allowed as long as it is fanfic or fan work (original works, fan art and video edits count as fan works, but if you want to post a video edits on ao3, you will have to post it elsewhere and then link it back to ao3 — ao3 cannot host video edits on its platform due to copyright issues)

by every single thing that is fanfic, I mean every single thing:

the filthiest smut without plot that is written purely for sexual pleasure is allowed. it has its own canonical tag called “plot what plot, porn without plot.”

fics that focus on non-consensual sexual intercourse are allowed, doesn’t matter if the fics glorify or romanticize the act, doesn’t matter if they’re written as kinks. they have their own canonical tag called “rape/non-con.”

fics about characters who are minors are allowed, even if they’re portrayed in a sexual manner, even if they’re non-consensual sexual intercourse. even if the minor characters are romantically and/or sexually involved with characters who are adults. even if they fics are written in ways that glorify and/or romanticize the thing. they have their own canonical tag called “underage sex.”

fics about incest are allowed. doesn’t matter if they glorify or romanticize the relationship. they have their own canonically tag called “incest.” fun fact: the first ever fic that was posted on ao3 was a fic about an incest ship from supernatural.

fics about self-harm and suicide are allowed. doesn’t matter if they glorify or romanticize the act. they have their own canonical tags called “self-harm” and “suicide” also “suicidal ideation”, “suicide attempt”, “implied/referenced suicide”, etc.

fics about violence and gore are allowed, even if they were written for the sake of shock value. they have their own canonical tag called “violence”, “blood and gore”, “blood and injuries”, etc.

rpf is also allowed. doesn’t matter if the content of the fics are dark and taboo. they’re treated the same way as any other fics.

every single dark and taboo fic you can think of is allowed. and it has its own canonical tag. because it is the main reason why ao3 was created in the first place.

“but what do I do if I don’t wanna see fics about xyz?” you can filter out any specific tag, character and/or pairing you want.

“what do I do if I wanna find fics about xyz?” you can search for any specific tag, character and/or pairing you want.

a lot of ao3 users rely on tags to search for specific tags, pairings, characters they want. they also rely on tags to filter out and exclude specific tags, pairings, and characters that they don’t want to see.

ao3’s tagging system is by far the most efficient one I’ve ever seen.

on ao3, our main principles are “don’t like don’t read” — which means YOU have a responsibility to curate your own internet experience. yes, ao3 allows all kind of messed up fics, but they also allow you the ability to NOT see anything you don’t want to see, by filtering out specific fics, pairings and/or characters.

no. you cannot harass authors who write about things that disgust you. you can and will be reported for harassment, and ao3 takes harassment very seriously. they will not take your side. because fucked up fics are allowed on ao3—fucked up fics are the main reason ao3 was created—whereas harassment is a direct violation of their terms of service.

ao3 is a house of the freaks and the perverts (affectionate). you ARE in the house of the freaks and the perverts. so don’t think about harassing or being rude to the freaks and the perverts who built this anti-censorship house and are kind enough to let you in.

ao3 is proship, profic, and anti-censorship.

any writer can write whatever they want, however they want. the only etiquette is that you tag your stuff properly and accurately

mistagging for visibility is heavily frowned upon here, and it won’t get your works more views. people will either block or report you if you deliberately mistag things with the purpose of getting your fic more views. as I’ve said before, ao3 is an archive. it’s not a social media. it doesn’t have algorithms or going viral.

if you come across a fic that has the tag “creator chose not to use archive warnings” it means the fic may or may not contain topics that can be triggering, but the author won’t tell you what these topics are, or if there are any at all. so proceed at your own risk.

that said, because ao3 is a non-profit site that hosts millions of works about others’ copyrighted characters, you CANNOT link a monetization platform anywhere on ao3, you CANNOT mention any donation, commission—or anything that involves money—anywhere on ao3. no, you cannot imply donation, commission, or anything that involves money either. that is against their terms of service.

and because ao3 is a place for fanworks, the “work section” of your post has to actually be fanwork (fanfic, original work, fan art, link to a video edit count as fanwork). anything that isn’t fanwork is not allowed.

you cannot post something on ao3 that is not fanwork. so no political statement, no call-out post, no “I’m looking for fics about xyz”.

ao3 is anti censorship as long as what your post is actually fanwork and as long as you don’t violate their terms of service that I’ve mentioned above.

ao3 has their own team of lawyers to protect them, their users, and every fanwork that is posted on their platform.

last but not least, don’t write directly onto ao3. write and store your works elsewhere before copy and paste them onto ao3 once they’re ready to post!! because ao3 does NOT autosave drafts for you, you risk losing everything you’ve typed if there’s a glitch, if the site crashes or if your device unexpectedly shuts down for whatever reason.

that’s all for now. have fun and happy writing/reading!

[millenniallust4death]

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

[millenniallust4death]

Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️

[psycorax]

Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.

[leavescrown]

Love that this is well beyond 7000 people now and still going

[millenniallust4death]

@leavescrown Exactly! It’s a beautiful gift. Martin and Bosco out there travelling around the Tumblr community, continually making new friends.

[millenniallust4death]

@sseanettles

#hello again martin and bosco!! sending you boys round for another go :)

Reading your tag made me laugh out loud. It’s like two old friends unexpectedly stopped by your porch for a quick visit. XD

[petermorwood]

I’ll always reblog Martin and Bosco when they splash across my dash, because of Reasons.

What’s loved, lives.

[vaspider]

There is something truly beautiful in seeing a comment like that from someone so very loved and recently lost.

Yes, Peter, you’re absolutely right. What’s loved, lives. You three boys all come back around again to see me again soon, okay?

[vaspider]

Today I saw a video of a pit bull playing in a water park & I had to explain this picture of Martin & Bosco, and Peter talking on it, to my wife.

So we’re going around again.

[renlo]

Before Pride Month comes to an end, I wanted to memorialize my husband unintentionally calling me a bisexual failure at the start of the month. (We laughed about it later, and I wasn't really offended!)

Side note: Thank you for looking at my art! I actually read every note and comment (though I'm a bit shy and don't always respond). I don't think I'll ever stop being surprised and grateful that my silly doodles make others happy. :)

[copperbadge]

My favorite part of this monstrosity is the auto-generated question at the bottom. What size items fit inside? Babe what size items do you have?

Also "versatile for gym". Imagine rocking up to your gym and dropping this next to your locker. Unhinged.

[was-the-grink-there]

I had a thought

[bettedavisgf]

it is so jarring and weird when a fantasy book is like “ok let’s go around the circle and have each character talk about which lgbt umbrella category they identify with” like ok your fantasy world doesn’t have to be feudal europe but can it not be 2023 twitter please

[bonzai-bunny]

tags from @bonesbuckleup

#there was a book I read a few years back#I'm not gonna name it#but like#all the characters would intro themselves as#HI I'M (NAME) AND I'M A LESBIAN#and whoever they were talking to would be like#HI (NAME) I'M (OTHER NAME) AND I'M TRANS#....#like#I love representation#would love to see more of it#but can we please not make it at the expense of actual good writing or storytelling???#queer characters are just like...characters#and should be treated as such#queerness is an aspect#like if a character is a pizza#then queerness is the cheese or the sauce or mushrooms or w/e#it isn't the whole pie#it can be critical to the pizza!#but we want full pizza characters#not none pizza left queer

[zarohk]

On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, one of the most elegant examples I saw of showing that a character was trans, was that a member of the protagonist team named Maia had stolen some important document that was an editable text file about experiments, and when the other characters read the file, it kept referring to “states of maiaer” and “antimaiaer”. One of her teammates realized that someone must’ve gone through and run automated find-and-replace on “Matt” to “Maia”.

[thesaltofcarthage]

I was just going to reblog this for "none pizza left queer" but "states of antimaiaer" is somehow even funnier

[el-ffej]

[whitepeopletwitter]

Is it the freedom

[aralintheobsessive]

It's the venting. In the USA, dryers have massive exhaust vents to the outside of the room/building that take the hot wet away and leave hot dry behind. In many other countries, dryers do not generally have external exhaust vents, and simply fill the room they are in with the hot wet, which may or may not be enough to actually remove the hot wet from the clothing depending on how well ventilated the room itself is.

[whetstonefires]

for this reason 1) you generally can't leave the dryer open in winter without causing a draft and 2) sometimes when you're walking around outside in the US the world will suddenly smell of clean laundry because you're near someone's house and their dryer is running

[zaprowsdower27]

And 3) Eventually your drier stops drying things so well and you have to hire somebody to bring a ladder up to the vent (either high up an exterior wall or on the literal roof) and clear out the accumulated lint and cruft blocking it

[ayellowbirds]

You ought to do this regularly even if the dryer efficiency remains the same, because dryer lint is fantastically competent at burning your damn house down if you let it catch fire.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I'm in Australia (no exhaust vents), and I've found that if your dryer starts making hot wet laundry, you first clean out the lint trap that you already know about and clean every time, and then you go looking for the second secret lint trap that nobody told you about and clean out the year's worth of lint in there that you were blissfully unaware of. The dryer will now mostly dry your laundry again, and give you either hot dry laundry or hot just-very-slightly-damp laundry.

[bladesofaura13]

This reminds me of the story about the couple who kept cleaning two different dryer vents and were confused why their so never cleaned the lint

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That post was what first prompted me to go looking for a possible second lint trap

[em-dash-enthusiast]

I'm genuinely appalled that dryers outside the US are not vented to the outside world. That much moisture just...builds up in your house/apartment every time you use your dryer?? Does that not lend itself to mold growth over time?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Mine recondenses the water into a little tub that I empty into a sink after use. I could also get a plumber in to vent the water directly into the greywater but I prefer being able to have the dryer in a part of the room with no direct water system access.

[em-dash-enthusiast]

That makes much more sense tbh. I was envisioning a steam room and the associated drywall moisture damage every time you do laundry, like "at that point I would just opt for a clothesline" lol.

(Which we do still use in the US, despite the popular conception that we all have dryers. Not as common as it once was, but I've lived several places where we used a clothesline bc we had a washer but no dryer.)

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

In Australia most people use clotheslines all the time, and even those of us who have dryers tend to only use them when the weather is too wet to make line drying practical. Electricity is expensive and sunlight is free. Can't speak for people living in city apartments and suchlike though.

[bucketofdeltav]

I grew up in Aotearoa and formerly lived in the US and now live in the UK and yes every dryer I have ever seen is absolutely vented to the outdoors???

What are the Australians doing?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Line drying, mostly.

[if-only-we-could-read-it]

I’m in the uk and every dryer ive seen has either had a removable condenser or has been piped into the wall/grey water like derin said. Most people over here use a clothes line or horse.

[chibisquirt]

I'm sorry, a clothes line or a WHAT?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

A clothes horse

They come in many shapes, most of them designed to fold away easily when you're not drying or airing anything.

[digitalmagpie]

In the USA, we call those (clothes/laundry) drying racks. There's a bit of variation depending on the brand advertising, but I've never seen them called a clothes horse.

I've only ever heard/seen "clotheshorse" used to refer to a particularly fashionable/fashion-oriented person, typically one with an extensive wardrobe.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They call people that because they are likening the people to the drying racks, acting like their purpose is to hang and display an absurd number of clothes on their bodies.

[wingedcatgirl]

Why is that first drying rack labeled "costs from 3p an hour to run"?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My guess is that it might be from an ad comparing a clotheshorse setup to a dryer or something, and the 3p refers to the running cost of a space heater. You need a room to be a reasonable temperature to air dry clothes, so if you live somewhere particularly cold then you need to heat the room.

[youfecklessthug]

I think it’s actually a heated airer. You plug it in and the rods heat up to dry the clothes faster. I had one in my old flat and it was life changing.

[penny-anna]

I'm in the UK and my dryer is a condenser (as described by derin). There's also a cheaper kind of dryer where you have to either plumb it in OR, supposedly, hang the hose out of a window.

I empty mine's tank and lint trap after every use. However, it does occasionally stop working and then I have to go around the back and clean it's grease trap. BUT I think that's a fairly niche issue.

ETA oh I am also aware of the second secret lint trap. Real bitch to clean out.

ETA 2: if your tumble dryer is not cleaning clothes efficiently then yes probably something inside it needs to be cleaned. This page has instructions on how to clean the various bits:

Hotpoint quality and affordable home appliances engineered to stand the test of time. View our range of washing machines, dryers, fridge fre

[blondebrainpowered]

Garbage - Only Happy When it Rains, 1995

[scribeherself]

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

[scribeherself]

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

[vaguely-problematic]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[squareallworthy]

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

[storm-of-feathers]

What

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

[yoinky-sploinky]

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

[irish-farmer]

My reading comprehension isn't that bad

[wardenmcpherson]

They did used to soak wool in aged piss. Just a fun little wool history fact for you.

[arcaniumagi2]

dont they still do? right @systlin? people still use piss for wool processing?

[systlin]

People absolutely still use piss for wool processing.

Ammonia is a great degreaser, and helps in dye work

[i-might-haveaproblem]

And then, once the process is finished, it gets dumped on the poor

[turing-tested]

[zizibutik]

if a terf even looks at this they will die in seven days just to clarify

[levuna]

did you know they changed the Albanian flag

[densoro]

[creekfiend]

there is this really specific thing that very Online women of a certain age (mostly older millennials and younger gen x in my experience) who are married to a man will do where they will refer to their husbands as "Mr. (Part of My Username)"

so like if the username is something like "dancingwithbears" they'll refer to their husband as "Mr. Bears"

i think it is extremely charming

[hempseeeeds]

like how @elodieunderglass 's Partner is Dr. Glass, presumably because he actually has that academic title

[elodieunderglass]

Ahh exactly! I’m not precisely in the described demographic, but it was a strongly set convention of a community I was in at the time. I believe the tradition goes back to livejournal.

[blondebrainpowered]

Lilliput trolls, LIFE magazine, April 1964

Photo of article by asherline on flickr.