I'm sorry I stole your [insert missing item here].

I'd rather be kissing my wife. Hi ladies. I'm the Connor Stoll you all heard of. Me and my brother Travis are the famous ones from Cabin XI. No autographs please. I'm busy filling sleeping bags and bed sheets with shaving cream. Oh and uh son of...

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[daughter-of-the-c]

So what Connor?! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re doing something you hate for someone you love

[daughter-of-the-c]

Yeah… So? I don’t get it… -winces and rubs her stomach- can we just go please?

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s what mothers do. We can’t go. It’s not time; remember those videos? Did he kick or something?

[daughter-of-the-c]

-nods- your son kicks harder than a damn harpy. -winces again-

[i-stoll-this-url]

Harpies are little. They– right. Yep. That’s my boy… only I wish you’d stop hurting Mommy, Sam.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Maybe he’s gonna be like his daddy and make my life difficult. -looks up at him and grins then winces again and groans- stop that, you little devil.

[i-stoll-this-url]

He’s not a devil! *finally sits next to her and places a hand on her stomach* Sam I need you to chill please. I don’t want to have to give you the nasty peas for the first 6 months.

[daughter-of-the-c]

He’s acting like a devil. -shifts on the couch and groans- I’m too pregnant. He’s too big.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You just pregnant enough and he's just healthy

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[daughter-of-the-c]

So what Connor?! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re doing something you hate for someone you love

[daughter-of-the-c]

Yeah… So? I don’t get it… -winces and rubs her stomach- can we just go please?

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s what mothers do. We can’t go. It’s not time; remember those videos? Did he kick or something?

[daughter-of-the-c]

-nods- your son kicks harder than a damn harpy. -winces again-

[i-stoll-this-url]

Harpies are little. They– right. Yep. That’s my boy… only I wish you’d stop hurting Mommy, Sam.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Maybe he’s gonna be like his daddy and make my life difficult. -looks up at him and grins then winces again and groans- stop that, you little devil.

[i-stoll-this-url]

He's not a devil! *finally sits next to her and places a hand on her stomach* Sam I need you to chill please. I don't want to have to give you the nasty peas for the first 6 months.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[daughter-of-the-c]

So what Connor?! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re doing something you hate for someone you love

[daughter-of-the-c]

Yeah… So? I don’t get it… -winces and rubs her stomach- can we just go please?

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s what mothers do. We can’t go. It’s not time; remember those videos? Did he kick or something?

[daughter-of-the-c]

-nods- your son kicks harder than a damn harpy. -winces again-

[i-stoll-this-url]

Harpies are little. They-- right. Yep. That's my boy... only I wish you'd stop hurting Mommy, Sam.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[daughter-of-the-c]

So what Connor?! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re doing something you hate for someone you love

[daughter-of-the-c]

Yeah… So? I don’t get it… -winces and rubs her stomach- can we just go please?

[i-stoll-this-url]

That's what mothers do. We can't go. It's not time; remember those videos? Did he kick or something?

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[daughter-of-the-c]

So what Connor?! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You're doing something you hate for someone you love

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[daughter-of-the-c]

To the hospital? I’m- are you saying that we can go?

[i-stoll-this-url]

No you want to go the hospital!

[i-stoll-this-url]

You. Youuuuuuu. Want. To. Go. To. Where again?

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t. I’m serious. Call your mom and find out.

[daughter-of-the-c]

But Connor…. -looks up at him and sniffles-

[i-stoll-this-url]

I can’t baby girl..my call Addison. I’m serious.

[daughter-of-the-c]

What if I had a fever? Or a cold? -coughs- I don’t feel well.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re pregnant. You’ve got a baby. Not sure cold. *smirks and continues pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

You’re pacing! And you’re talking funny. You’re worried so there must be something to be worried about!

[i-stoll-this-url]

What if I’m a bad father?

[daughter-of-the-c]

You’re not gonna be a bad father! I might be a bad mo- no, I know I’m gonna be a bad mom but you’re gonna be a great dad!

[i-stoll-this-url]

I mean I wasn’t even around for the first few months of Mavi’s life. I couldn’t really mess her– did you just say you’re going to be a bad mom? How? I mean you take better care of me than anyone. I mean your instincts needed to change and well… they did. Everything is different.

[daughter-of-the-c]

No they didn’t. I’m just as bad as I was before! I have enough to mommy issues to know that I’m gonna mess up Sam somehow.

[i-stoll-this-url]

Oh yeah? Why do you want to go to the hospital so badly?

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t. I’m serious. Call your mom and find out.

[daughter-of-the-c]

But Connor…. -looks up at him and sniffles-

[i-stoll-this-url]

I can’t baby girl..my call Addison. I’m serious.

[daughter-of-the-c]

What if I had a fever? Or a cold? -coughs- I don’t feel well.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re pregnant. You’ve got a baby. Not sure cold. *smirks and continues pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

You’re pacing! And you’re talking funny. You’re worried so there must be something to be worried about!

[i-stoll-this-url]

What if I’m a bad father?

[daughter-of-the-c]

You’re not gonna be a bad father! I might be a bad mo- no, I know I’m gonna be a bad mom but you’re gonna be a great dad!

[i-stoll-this-url]

I mean I wasn't even around for the first few months of Mavi's life. I couldn't really mess her-- did you just say you're going to be a bad mom? How? I mean you take better care of me than anyone. I mean your instincts needed to change and well... they did. Everything is different.

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t. I’m serious. Call your mom and find out.

[daughter-of-the-c]

But Connor…. -looks up at him and sniffles-

[i-stoll-this-url]

I can’t baby girl..my call Addison. I’m serious.

[daughter-of-the-c]

What if I had a fever? Or a cold? -coughs- I don’t feel well.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You’re pregnant. You’ve got a baby. Not sure cold. *smirks and continues pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

You’re pacing! And you’re talking funny. You’re worried so there must be something to be worried about!

[i-stoll-this-url]

What if I'm a bad father?

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t. I’m serious. Call your mom and find out.

[daughter-of-the-c]

But Connor…. -looks up at him and sniffles-

[i-stoll-this-url]

I can’t baby girl..my call Addison. I’m serious.

[daughter-of-the-c]

What if I had a fever? Or a cold? -coughs- I don’t feel well.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You're pregnant. You've got a baby. Not sure cold. *smirks and continues pacing*

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t. I’m serious. Call your mom and find out.

[daughter-of-the-c]

But Connor…. -looks up at him and sniffles-

[i-stoll-this-url]

I can't baby girl..my call Addison. I'm serious.

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That’s because you’re nervous and super prego.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Which is why we should go to the hospital.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can't. I'm serious. Call your mom and find out.

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[daughter-of-the-c]

-presses her fingers to her neck- but my heart rate is fast and I can’t get off the couch.

[i-stoll-this-url]

That's because you're nervous and super prego.

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can’t do that. There’s limited space and even I’m not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I’ll be surprised. He’s so big.

[daughter-of-the-c]

Sure you are. And Addison won’t say no, it’ll be fine. Sam will be safe if we’re there and we’ll have everything we need and everything will be perfect so that’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You not even dilated!

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don’t we? I’m for a run… no I can’t leave you alone… gods….

[daughter-of-the-c]

We should just go to the hospital and see Addison and stay there until it’s time. That’s what we should do.

[i-stoll-this-url]

We can't do that. There's limited space and even I'm not rich enough to afford a hospital stay that long. If he makes it to your birthday in there, I'll be surprised. He's so big.

[i-stoll-this-url]

*a month later*

…*nervous pacing*

[daughter-of-the-c]

Stop that, you’re making me nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

You are nervous!

[daughter-of-the-c]

Of course I’m nervous. And giant. And my feet are swollen, and I’m tired, and we have 1% of what we need done actually done so yeah, nervous.

[i-stoll-this-url]

What do you mean? I have three of everything. Do we 4? Oh gods we need 20 don't we? I'm for a run... no I can't leave you alone... gods....