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would if he wasnt omniscient

like all of my problems would be solved if that wasnt a part of the deal otherwise id be on earth and with fam but its not like anyone on this piece of dirt can even remotely understand that sure as heckie dont expect that from a freaking cueballed freak

i-t-blogarchive

that sounds hella gross you have my condolences

turntechgodtits

that doesnt even surprise me in the least

like ive woken up to see a giant green white stained sea of likes before worst when i realize where im at currently

aint no one got time for that shit but thats my reality dude i gotta deal with this plushed nuisance daily

i-t-blogarchive

my only plushed nuisances are smuppets at this point

with the occasional lil cal

but mostly just smuppets

maybe you could stick him in a really big blender and set it to puree

turntechgodtits

go through 3 life threatening situations years ago and living puppet just seems like a normal occurrence to me

thats the shape of my life

and welcome to passive aggressive like hell is he watching and making his presence known or does he just want to play a psychological warfare like its motherfucking nom on the psyche the answer is all of the above and have fun trying to figure out which it is at the moment

i-t-blogarchive

i think hes just liking your posts because the only likes of his i see are on this thread

boy do i feel sorry for you

i got 99 problems but a passive aggressive sentient douche puppet aint one

turntechgodtits

preach it

and yeah thats the reaction i constantly hear but man idk ive gotten used to the puppet army out in paradox space maybe cause one of the cals out there has helped me out an outlier among the stars but i seriously havent felt terrified of him in ages

puppet satan tho that guy can go shove a rusty nail straight up his plush rump nothing EVER good comes from dealing with him and how i got into this mess is a goddamn testament to it

like i wont even show you an image of puppet satan cause i dont what you getting infected by his gross from the sheer sight of him just aint worth it

i-t-blogarchive

you are a lucky and brave soul then far stronger than i

but uh

i think i see who you mean already

subtle man real subtle

other-wordly

my-ear-trumpet

German is an amazing language.

#bro

turntechgodtits

thats actually what i wanted to do before

but i honestly dont know if i can with everything thats landslided my way kinda what happens when your plans change and you end up focusing on solutions out of things

ok so the really short version is cal exists in almost every part of paradox space i know sometimes he can talk too and hes as big of a douchebag as you think sometimes even fits into the role of that one dude you know is an ass but is a well meaning ass from my experience

but uh… puppet satan is like his son of sorts like someone decided to combine him with a cueball and that is my daily nightmare

i-t-blogarchive

shit happens thats just life you gotta learn to roll with the punches and make the best of things

gotta dig yourself out when you get neck deep in shit

oh my god no i dont need the creepiest puppet ever also talking no thanks no nope bye

his son

what the fuck

what the actual fuck

turntechgodtits

wow thats rough dude

so you and your bro just live on your own then does that mean your bros got a biz going on too or is it just you

… oh man ok are you sitting down somewhere cause i dont want to drop this bomb on you without knowing your rear is comfortably placed and ready for this salty blasting rumpus pain of news that will go down

i-t-blogarchive

we got our separate places which is really for the best

like we used to live together but that was kind of a mess so that had to change

hes the music guy out of us making all kinds of tunes i even get him to do my soundtracks sometimes

yeah my posteriors good and comfortable whats going on

turntechgodtits

eh im managing alright i guess

still trying to find a way around this giant bs in motion but whatever

so what theres a lil me crawling around and still finding his place in the big world but thats not you and you do movies??? funny i usually hear about broselfs jumping into the movie biz youre like a refreshing drop of rain among the german meat sea though i probably fit into that category too in some ways since im pretty sure i tossed out whatever alternate normality that usually happens through living with puppet satan

i-t-blogarchive

yeah basically

shit happened and it was just me and my brothers but you know a couple of 16 year old kids aren't legally old enough to take care of anyone so the system decided "whats best"

i dont have a single idea what that kid is up to now

wait hold up puppet satan

are you saying you live with lil cal

theres another universe in which this monstrosity exists

and this whole time i was hoping for everyone elses sake it was just us

#bro has literally the worst taste

turntechgodtits

ss would have shown up ages ago if i wasnt technically trapped in a mafia

and also like light years away from earth … its really freaking complicated

yeah more or less like i wasnt born a dude and i havent found any lady mes in a long time ive seen more of a sausage fest in my time on this site than anything just cruising this lonely german meat sea on my milk pond but yeah… i guess youre a strider?? you said dave so……

but will that question eat at the back of your mind until the question is answered or rot into the jaws of nothingness where youre focus will be on whatever the heckie you do and possibly slam dunking dorites into the after life

i-t-blogarchive

well shit thats rough kiddo

d strider to be exact not a dave ive been asked before but no daves my estranged little bro last time i saw him he was like a toddler or something i dont know shit about kids

nah no chomping at the bit here

just gonna let that thought fly away into the night like an unwanted rabid bat

far too dangerous and likely will only lead to regret is held on to

i make movies thats the thing i do

turntechgodtits

i swear i havent heard that question in a long time

like the last dude that asked me that also called me “dave with tits” but thats a completely different story filled with groaning and genital mutilation attempts

but damn i swear being here has seriously messed with my perception being surrounded by a bunch of felt assholes with one dodgy puppet fucker can be nerve wrecking as heckie my senses just constantly punched with the oncoming storm of green idiocy and the occasional vague asinine run around this is what my life has become and i just automatically expect some vulgarity my way now

i-t-blogarchive

that sounds like a social services call waiting to happen

so that means daves your alt huh

yeah that makes that unasked question tread into weird territory so itll just never get asked not even a year from now

turntechgodtits

depends on the question

if its old enough to copulate than wait a year thats assuming youre like tapdancing on adulthood

i-t-blogarchive

what kind of scumbag do you take me for it was going to be about your url

i might be a lascivious jackass a lot of the time but there are lines i dont cross

latransmischief-blog

i’m asking you. under the circumstances that my roommate’s last name is strider, but he told me he doesn’t have any family.

people were throwing flash bulbs at you? what the fuck?

hmmm, i think i believe the second one!

i-t-blogarchive

then im answering you that multiverse theory is apparently a thing that is actually true so yeah every name in that sense is common because theres alternate versions of the same person damn well everywhere

ive met them i would know

guess what else is gonna blow your mind

youve got an alternate too

like probably a lot of them but specifically we have a john egbert over here and he takes the role of responsible adult in our stead

ok look the flash bulb thing is a metaphor i was avoiding paparazzi you know those assholes with cameras who abuse the flash function

half the reason i have to wear shades everywhere or im going to go blind no doubt

excuse you i am fabulously wealthy famous and genius you think i wouldnt be up to secret plans and shenanigans jet setting around the globe wow fucking rude im offended

turntechgodtits started following you

are you old enough for me to ask the obvious question

#turntechgodtits